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Dommes does it turn you off if a sub has switch tendenc... - 4/18/2006 8:53:52 PM

talmar

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Dommes does it turn you off if a sub or slave has switch tendencies...& expressed a desire to top (not you but other subs) occasionally?

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RE: Dommes does it turn you off if a sub has switch ten... - 4/18/2006 9:10:09 PM

SweetDommes

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We have never been expressly against switches, but every time we tried it, they ended up forgetting who was in charge in our relationship. We weren't interested in someone who had or wanted a sub of their own, but arrangements could be made, and we actually discussed it at length with one switch that we were planning to share living space with (until he listened to some massive slander that someone was spreading about us because she was jealous and he quit talking to us entirely ... bah, people suck).

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RE: Dommes does it turn you off if a sub has switch ten... - 4/18/2006 10:24:22 PM

MistressLorelei

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I won't consider a switch as a potential submissive partner. I am sure the situation can work for many, but I have had a relationship with a switch who was submissive towards Me, and while I have greatly enjoyed the relationship, it was clear to Me that the desire for a switch to Dom another interfered with his submissive "wiring". We had to get through a lot of "issues" which would not have been present had he not been a switch.

I have nothing against switches in general, but in My situation... great as a casual play partner, could be a good possible 'bull' for a cuckold relationship, but, I want someone purely submissive in the long-term... just in case there is ever a 'wiring' issue.

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RE: Dommes does it turn you off if a sub has switch ten... - 4/19/2006 12:00:01 AM

GoddessDustyGold

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Quite simply...Yes. If one is a switch, he's a switch.
I don't know that I would ever characterize it as a sub with switch tendencies. In the case of thetammijo, she speaks of Her Fox as being an excellent bondage top. But it would not appear that this interferes with his submission to Her. She would be able to speak to that better than I, of course.
It has never worked for Me.

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RE: Dommes does it turn you off if a sub has switch ten... - 4/19/2006 12:09:42 AM

MsMacComb

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For myself, I love switches. Both the kind I cut down by the river and the other type, lol. As long as no one gets any false notions of my switching then I not only have no issue with it but would encourage it.

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RE: Dommes does it turn you off if a sub has switch ten... - 4/19/2006 12:59:20 AM

LoneGoddess

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Yes, I don't share well with others. Now on the other hand if I am in a mood for a good flogging, fireplay or other activities... I wouldn't mind if he "switched" for me. But me alone.

LG~

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RE: Dommes does it turn you off if a sub has switch ten... - 4/19/2006 5:17:04 AM

Lashra

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Nope my sub is a switch and I like that actually, as I switch rarely with him. He has no desire to Top anyone else and in fact prefers to sub. It adds alot of variety and spice to our relationship. It also gives us each insight into what a Top/bottom goes thru so we can further our skills in each category.

~Lashra

< Message edited by Lashra -- 4/19/2006 5:19:09 AM >

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RE: Dommes does it turn you off if a sub has switch ten... - 4/19/2006 5:44:04 AM

skareamoos

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I suspect that there are as many varieties of switch as there are of pure dom/mes or subs. Some may wish to top from the bottom, some want to switch with a regular partner, some may wish to sub to one and dom others, and some (I put myself in this latter category) may prefer to sub, but will dom on occasion if that is the ONLY form of our strange deviation for which there is an opportunity. (Of course at my age, neither opportunity has arisen for several years, but one perserveres and never abandons hope.)

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RE: Dommes does it turn you off if a sub has switch ten... - 4/19/2006 5:53:46 AM

MHOO314

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No it does not, there is only one top in My world---Me.

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RE: Dommes does it turn you off if a sub has switch ten... - 4/19/2006 6:33:00 AM

MistressXinran

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No my sub is a switch and accasionally tops other people, I am always Dominant but acassionally he will put up a bit of a fight, he will never win and doesn't infact want to, he is increadably submissive to me, but I enjoy our situation.
Xinran

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RE: Dommes does it turn you off if a sub has switch ten... - 4/19/2006 7:20:52 AM

thetammyjo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: talmar

Dommes does it turn you off if a sub or slave has switch tendencies...& expressed a desire to top (not you but other subs) occasionally?

Nope.

In fact, my best slaves and submissives have been switches.

I consider it an honor to hear that he/she desires to serve me when they could in fact be topping another person. Its even better when they still consider themselves my slave when they top others.

I do think it is important to make room for those toppish desires to get expressed though because it shows I value the entire person I own, not just those parts I can use or which are focused on me.

This just happens to be my experience.

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RE: Dommes does it turn you off if a sub has switch ten... - 4/19/2006 7:27:19 AM

Oumae

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No. Can be fun helping them explore the dynamic with another.

Oumae

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RE: Dommes does it turn you off if a sub has switch ten... - 4/19/2006 7:27:40 AM

thetammyjo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessDustyGold

Quite simply...Yes. If one is a switch, he's a switch.
I don't know that I would ever characterize it as a sub with switch tendencies. In the case of thetammijo, she speaks of Her Fox as being an excellent bondage top. But it would not appear that this interferes with his submission to Her. She would be able to speak to that better than I, of course.
It has never worked for Me.

I think one key for our relationship is that Fox isn't a dominant, he's a switch but his submissive nature is what defines him. He never doms anyone, though he has tried the words and the look, frankly it comes off as service topping.

He is amazing to watch when he tops especially when he plays into the fact that I'm watching, positioning the other person so I can see, and mouthing questions at me "Should I hit him again? Is struggling enough?".

We've even co-topped a few times. Last time the silly man we topped said "I think she's more cruel than you" to Fox. Fox's eyebrow shot up, he looked at me, I handed him one of my favorite toys and whispered, "Show him what I taught you," and he preceded to make that silly man howl.

Its all about attitude. Fox is my slave and he never forgets that nor do I.

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Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

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RE: Dommes does it turn you off if a sub has switch ten... - 4/19/2006 8:01:32 AM

Proprietrix

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I wouldn't want a Switch as my charge. But I have no problems at all with a submissive who has learned to top during play in certain ways.

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RE: Dommes does it turn you off if a sub has switch ten... - 4/19/2006 8:56:52 AM

talmar

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I respect that position. I only occasionally switch as I am mainly a bottom & masochist.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressLorelei

I won't consider a switch as a potential submissive partner. I am sure the situation can work for many, but I have had a relationship with a switch who was submissive towards Me, and while I have greatly enjoyed the relationship, it was clear to Me that the desire for a switch to Dom another interfered with his submissive "wiring". We had to get through a lot of "issues" which would not have been present had he not been a switch.

I have nothing against switches in general, but in My situation... great as a casual play partner, could be a good possible 'bull' for a cuckold relationship, but, I want someone purely submissive in the long-term... just in case there is ever a 'wiring' issue.

(in reply to MistressLorelei)

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RE: Dommes does it turn you off if a sub has switch ten... - 4/19/2006 9:03:09 AM

talmar

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My former Domme had the same attitude toward switches. She encouraged me to explore with some of her female subs.

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RE: Dommes does it turn you off if a sub has switch ten... - 4/19/2006 9:06:21 AM

talmar

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I don't know if I could top someone I was in a long term bottom relationship with. That is a interesting perspective though.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LoneGoddess

Yes, I don't share well with others. Now on the other hand if I am in a mood for a good flogging, fireplay or other activities... I wouldn't mind if he "switched" for me. But me alone.

LG~

(in reply to LoneGoddess)

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RE: Dommes does it turn you off if a sub has switch ten... - 4/19/2006 9:08:52 AM

talmar

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I admire that position & I seek to serve Dommes who share it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

quote:

ORIGINAL: talmar

Dommes does it turn you off if a sub or slave has switch tendencies...& expressed a desire to top (not you but other subs) occasionally?

Nope.

In fact, my best slaves and submissives have been switches.

I consider it an honor to hear that he/she desires to serve me when they could in fact be topping another person. Its even better when they still consider themselves my slave when they top others.

I do think it is important to make room for those toppish desires to get expressed though because it shows I value the entire person I own, not just those parts I can use or which are focused on me.

This just happens to be my experience.

(in reply to thetammyjo)

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RE: Dommes does it turn you off if a sub has switch ten... - 4/19/2006 11:39:27 PM

Vendaval

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You post good questions talmar. I enjoy the switch dynamic because co-topping
can be such a blast! Also, most switches enjoy learning new techniques and
watching them learn and practice is a pleasurable experience for Me.

Regards,

-Vendaval-

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So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
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RE: Dommes does it turn you off if a sub has switch ten... - 4/20/2006 4:54:36 AM

LexiLuthor

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

Nope my sub is a switch and I like that actually, as I switch rarely with him. He has no desire to Top anyone else and in fact prefers to sub. It adds alot of variety and spice to our relationship. It also gives us each insight into what a Top/bottom goes thru so we can further our skills in each category.

~Lashra

Ditto. I am in the same kind of relationship. This one has been 3 years. Before that my 2 previous partners were doms that switched with me as well. I seem to prefer it.

His skills are years ahead of mine, so it gives me a unique learning experience as well as a safety net of sorts to push the experiences harder.

I only switched once with him in that time, for a couple of hours..lol..we ended up switching back . We both like it better this way.

L

"If you want to dance with the devil, don't expect her to behave."

(in reply to Lashra)

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