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Proprietrix -> RE: Talking about kink, Is it so bad a thing to do? (4/19/2006 9:01:32 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: TeeGO
What is so bad, or wrong with subs bringing up the topic of kink?
And
Honestly, is there anything about the kink that you enjoy? (If so, can you explain it without providing wanking material as that is the last thing I want from this post.)
Hiyas TeeGO. (Miss seeing your face next to your posts.)
First, I have to clarify that I'm well aware that I'm a minority here when it comes to sex. In fact, I have yet to meet another asexual on this site. With that being said, I realize that I in no way represent any considerable percentage of the Dommes. But I'm always for throwing in my .02, lol.
I guess I'd first have to define "kink". I'm into a lot of "weird" things, that generally fall under the BDSM umbrella, (i.e. flogging, caning, punching, kicking, (and various other 'cause someone pain' activities), bloodplay, needles, body mod, scarification, cutting, and on and on and on.....)
but those activities are not sexual for me.
So, being that they don't sexually arouse me, are they kinks?
I *already* don't have any desire to hear about sex. I accept a certain level of it because I'm here. I understand that many (most?) people here have a typical sex drive, and that some people here have an increased libido. That's just par for the course in any BDSM setting. If I couldn't handle that, I wouldn't be here. So, yes, I do expect to hear a certain amount about sexuality.
What I find offensive (and finally getting to the point of your question), is submissives who jump onto the forums, and within their first 5 posts, they either want graphic details about our sexuality, or they express their own graphic details about their fantasies, or they blatantly show that they have no intention of carrying on any type of conversation that remotely relates to anything outside the bed sheets.
To me personally, that is as disgusting as sitting down on the city bus and having the total stranger next to me say "I like eating pussy. Do you like having yours eaten?" It's vile. It's inappropriate. It's disrespectful. It's creepy. And in some cases, it's sexual harassment. (It's also many more adjectives that I could list.) I even find that kind of comments from strangers offensive at play parties or dungeons. It comes across the exact same way here. Hell, I get *more* of that here than I would get down the street at my local bar.
If I'm sitting here on collarme discussing the dynamics of slavery, how religion can be related to service, and the proper medical care for a heart attack during a scene, the last thing I want is some jerk-a-lot waltzing in here asking me about the size of my labia.
Some of the women here have commented that they want a submissive to get to know them, find out about vanilla interests, etc... before going into discussions about kink. I don't even necessarily see it that way. I see it more of someone just having a decent sense of decorum. I don't expect a submissive to come in here and personally get to know each and every Dominant on a personal level. But I do expect that someone has a grip on basic social conduct. I can think of very few settings where it is appropriate and acceptable to walk into a group of strangers and ask them about how they anally penetrate their partner. That's not even a matter of neglecting to get to know someone on a friendly level, that's just plain being a complete social derelict.
I guess for me it's not even the fact that sex, sexuality, or kink was brought up. If that were the case (as it often is), I just skip over those threads and move on to something that piques my interest.
What's offensive to me is the retardation in social skills.
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