Work, work, work, too burned out to play ...

Work, work, work, too burned out to play ... (Full Version)

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Bobanna -> Work, work, work, too burned out to play ... (8/5/2010 6:08:26 PM)
So, I was wondering to those subs out there that work 40+ hours a week, how do you keep yourself from completely burning out or collapsing in your off time. I know that when I was working a full time job, it not only included my time that I was actually punched in, but also included the time that I woke up, got ready for the day, the drive to and from work. Not to mention picking up grocieries or run essential errands before or after work. (This of course is not necessarily daily but reguarly enough) Lets also not forget to include domestic chores that takes up your home time. I am wondering where do you get the energy or want to submit to your owner after submitting to your job all day(boss, manager, co-workers demands) and daily domestic demands to go home to be a pleasing and sexy sub, do what you are told to and have almost zero time to yourself. By the time I was done with these types of days, I was so completely burnt out that it was all I could do to wash up, prepare for tommorrow and crawl dead ass tired into bed. The thought of someone adding pressure or demands to my already worked filled/I have to do it all pressure cooker schedule was more than I could handle. Let alone have any energy for sex. Am I the only one who has felt like this? I'm thankfully not in that type of situation anymore ... but running across a lot of Doms expectations here .. one of the first questions always is .. what do you do for work? It is expected for you to work full time anymore in this day and age ... so where does the energy or focus come from to submit to someone else after all of that kind of timecrunch-work-mix mentioned above? Where do you even find the time to have the need? ( and people that have children in the mix ... it makes me tired even thinking about it!)

TwistedHeart74 -> RE: Work, work, work, too burned out to play ... (8/5/2010 6:28:46 PM)
Am I the only one who has felt like this? Not at all! I definately have been there and probably will be again :) It's about finding a balance between life and LIFE. Finding the time, no matter how small the amount is, to enjoy living. Whether it's WIIWD or reading a book. Having down time, time to breathe. And communication, that is huge. When you're feeling like you're burning the candle at both ends, you have to be able and willing to say to Sir/Ma'am "I need ME time." IMO, a good dominant will definately understand that and do what they can to help. It doesn't make them less of a dominant if they do the dishes, or a few loads of laundry. Their primary goal should be that you are safe, healthy and happy....the same goals a submissive should have for their dominant.

porcelaine -> RE: Work, work, work, too burned out to play ... (8/5/2010 6:51:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Bobanna Am I the only one who has felt like this? I've worked 80+ hour weeks in the past and I had a housekeeper and used every convenience I could to simplify my life. quote: It is expected for you to work full time anymore in this day and age ... so where does the energy or focus come from to submit to someone else after all of that kind of timecrunch-work-mix mentioned above? You'll find opinions differ in regard to divisions of labor. However, I like a clean environment and have never felt that suggested my hands became useless when I'm in charge. In my opinion it's a matter of planning and recognizing where time and energy should be directed. I believe in caring for my property and that includes making the necessary adjustments in schedule and tasks where needed. Restorative services that invigorate are often a welcome addition and one of the things I enjoy providing. I consider it a necessary aspect of prudent ownership. Overworking someone that's spent on every level possible is of little benefit to either. ~porcelaine

littlewonder -> RE: Work, work, work, too burned out to play ... (8/5/2010 6:56:51 PM)
Master isn't all that demanding and we both lead busy lives and both of us give each other room to breathe. We don't "burn out" because we both just lead normal lives together except that one of us leads the relationship and the other follows.

DarkSteven -> RE: Work, work, work, too burned out to play ... (8/5/2010 7:21:41 PM)
Funny that you should ask that. I'm wondering the same thing from the other side. When looking at a sub, I would ideally like her to work FT and also do domestic chores and be my sex kitten in bed. How it will all fit together is anyone's guess...

porcelaine -> RE: Work, work, work, too burned out to play ... (8/5/2010 8:26:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven Funny that you should ask that. I'm wondering the same thing from the other side. When looking at a sub, I would ideally like her to work FT and also do domestic chores and be my sex kitten in bed. How it will all fit together is anyone's guess... Merry Maids is the answer to all your troubles. [:D] ~porcelaine

NuevaVida -> RE: Work, work, work, too burned out to play ... (8/5/2010 9:40:33 PM)
I find my respite in service to him. I can let the demands of the day fade into the distance and absorb myself totally in him. These last few weeks have been horrendously busy. In fact, I just sat down to rest for the first time today, about 15 minutes ago (9:15PM), as I've been in the process of moving, cleaning the old place and unpacking the new place, and juggling it around my job and a family medical situation. Last Saturday, after a full week and then spending all day moving, the idea of kneeling at his feet, massaging him, and getting lost in his sexual demands made it all better. But then I've always had an abundance of energy. Slowing down is difficult for me. So I might be the wrong person to ask, lol.

DesFIP -> RE: Work, work, work, too burned out to play ... (8/6/2010 8:53:58 AM)
Find someone sensible who won't expect you to burn out. Who will help doing the scut work so you both have time to play. Who will order you to get to bed by ten instead of staying up to watch late night tv. Who will help you plan your week so you only go grocery shopping once a week on Saturday morning, and plan meals that only require major cooking twice a week. Laundry takes forever, and no matter how much I do, there's always more. But picking up the mail and newspapers and putting them in the recycling bin takes 15 minutes a week. If you throw the junk mail out the moment you get it, then it takes less. Vacuuming can be done in half an hour followed by washing the floor, and that's one hour a week. Get home from work, have leftover cooked chicken from earlier, put on a pot of water for pasta, saute vegetables, mix with pasta and chicken and dinner in 30 minutes. Dishes don't take very long either. I'm betting you could be much better organized and that with that, if both of you spent half an hour a night cleaning, that you would have lots of extra time. Especially if you turn off the tv and computer.

WestBaySlave -> RE: Work, work, work, too burned out to play ... (8/6/2010 10:16:01 AM)
I'm a low-energy person who burns out quickly, in part due to my nature and in part due to some disabilities, and I'm not ashamed of it. I've met guys who were perpetually on the go and I know I couldn't keep up with them let alone match their expectations, so I part ways politely rather than setting myself up for mutual disappointment. Generally I need to meet guys with expectations compatible with what I can put out - one of my top priorities is finding a man I'm ABLE to please. For example, if you want me to work a full-time job and go to school, expect that I'm just not going to have all that much time and energy for serving at the end of the day. On another note, it's quite possible to find doms and masters wanting stay-at-home subs and slaves, and there are a number of people living that lifestyle. If that works for you and that satisfies you, do not be afraid to pursue it, as many doms actively want it and are pursuing just that.

Jeffff -> RE: Work, work, work, too burned out to play ... (8/6/2010 11:54:04 AM)
I want a nap................

KatyLied -> RE: Work, work, work, too burned out to play ... (8/6/2010 3:57:24 PM)
I am busy, much busier than my friends, because of my work circumstances. But I do find a way to provide time/attention to those things and people who are important to me. Sometimes it requires being organizing and being careful about how I spend my time. I believe if something is important to you then you are obligated to find a way to make it happen.

ladycaralaw -> RE: Work, work, work, too burned out to play ... (8/6/2010 5:33:05 PM)
I could have written this myself. I'm forever on the go day-to-day with kids mixed in. My poor kids get the brunt of the housework, but they are old enough for it. I have recently been hiring housekeeping at least once a week to keep me and the kids sane. Still I have almost no energy for much playtime. Right now it's stolen moments when we can.

juliaoceania -> RE: Work, work, work, too burned out to play ... (8/6/2010 6:02:07 PM)
I wouldn't be in the situation of working all day and submitting all night. If a man wants to be the center of my life and for me to only think of his needs and desires, well he needs to support me in this economically. I cannot serve multiple masters. For me, D/s should ideally be the underpinnings of the relationship. This means I should be able to come home and exist comfortably in the role he has designed for me. If I cannot, there is something that needs to be done about that. His expectations of me need to change, or he needs to put me in a place where I can be what he desires. I read a profile of a dom that was seeking multiple slaves ( I don't think he had one). He wanted a slave that worked full time and another that worked part time. He needed them both to be employed, and the part time sub would clean and maintain the house when not at her part time job.. Someone like this would never have my respect. I would think he was using relationships to be a lazy asshole... but if he and his partners are happy, go them.

DarkSteven -> RE: Work, work, work, too burned out to play ... (8/7/2010 4:32:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: porcelaine Merry Maids is the answer to all your troubles. [:D] ~porcelaine "Hello, Merry Maids? I need a woman who can clean and also submit to me in bed. porcelaine said that that was okay."

KatyLied -> RE: Work, work, work, too burned out to play ... (8/7/2010 4:54:18 AM)
Julia - I see many profiles that seem to smack of dominants just looking for service. In their minds if a submissive takes care of their every whim and desire, then she is fulfilled. The obviously do not understand human relationships and what it takes to make them work. Perhaps a slave can find fulfillment in service and nothing else. I know this sort of thing would never work for me. I require much more of partnership.

juliaoceania -> RE: Work, work, work, too burned out to play ... (8/7/2010 9:17:32 AM)
I think I could very happily work for a dominant in his business and find that fulfilling. I was raised with that model in my own home. My mother worked for my father (he had his own real estate company and she was one of his sales people). In that sort of situation I would be fed by their energy, they would be taking a direct interest in my work. I would not feel divided. If I worked separately all day and then came home and had to work another 6 hours to keep the dom happy, this would make me feel divided and not connected. I see a large difference between the two scenarios.

porcelaine -> RE: Work, work, work, too burned out to play ... (8/7/2010 11:31:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven "Hello, Merry Maids? I need a woman who can clean and also submit to me in bed. porcelaine said that that was okay." Great! I get the referral bonus. [:D] ~porcelaine

whiteslavebitch -> RE: Work, work, work, too burned out to play ... (8/7/2010 7:16:38 PM)
Well, MasterK and I don't live together so I get plenty of "me" time. I submit to him as a reflex, it is a natural state for me. It's harder for me not to submit, but I have had to learn to be in charge at work. And I do work 40+ hours, shop, go to the gym, take care of my dog, do chores around my apartment, etc. Spending time with MasterK is a joy, and not at all tiring. I look forward to it every single time. We see each other on my days off from work when I'm not exhausted.

OneMoreWaste -> RE: Work, work, work, too burned out to play ... (8/7/2010 11:34:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania I read a profile of a dom that was seeking multiple slaves ( I don't think he had one). He wanted a slave that worked full time and another that worked part time. He needed them both to be employed, and the part time sub would clean and maintain the house when not at her part time job.. Someone like this would never have my respect. I would think he was using relationships to be a lazy asshole... but if he and his partners are happy, go them. Maybe you wandered across a FemDom's profile by mistake [:D]

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