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Dustyn -> RE: Maybe this is a stupid question... (4/20/2006 3:24:29 AM)
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This raises some interesting questions in my mind, in part because I can at least empathize with the original poster.
As a cutter, I can understand the need to escape from the universe as a whole and retreat to a universe of pain, preferably self induced. Normally, it comes out in the form of taking something edged and literally cutting myself. In some ways, it's a catharsis to feel something physical, as opposed to mental or emotional, especially since that physical pain is by your own choice, not another's. At other times, I simply let the aggression in me build and build, purposely feeding it, until I explode and take that violence out on something inanimate, like brick walls or tree. Something that can take some serious physical punishment, because I am never satisfied with just breaking the skin at that point. I go until I'm exhausted, and usually in need of medical attention for at least fractured, if not broken, hands.
Yes, it is a very self-destructive thing to do, and very detrimental to several aspects of dealing with things properly, but there are people that simply can't at times.
I can see the poster's questioning over whether it is sane to want the pain to escape, but then again, I've asked that exact question of my shrink in the past. It can be a vicious downward spiral, but it can also be used to one's advantage. It's all in how the pain is utilized, not just experienced. But that's just my take on it.
Considering that, looking to a Dom to provide the pain is actually a very sensible conclusion for my kind of people. As much as those in the bdsm community rail against the preconceptions that 'vanilla' people have about the things we do, some people in the community itself rail against the majority that think escapism through sensory overload (I.E. pain) isn't safe. It's what the person does with the pain that they are given that matters, not the motivation behind it. If you want to just wallow in the pain an dmisery, then yes, you should probably avoid having a dom/top for a few different reasons. If you use it to clear your mind, and focus your will to overcome the obstacles that are hindering you, then a dom/top that understands that could be beneficial.
Perhaps my view on this whole concept is skewed because of my own prediliction for this exact type of escapism, even if I prefer it to be self induced, so take what I wrote with a grain or two of salt.
- Dustyn
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