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Crude Riddles... - 4/19/2006 11:28:28 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

Please remember, for the most part I don't write 'em - I just pass on some of the ones that find their way into my mailbox and, at least to me, are amusing. Some of these are a little sick, but what the hell...

Q. What's the definition of eternity?
A. The time between when you cum and she leaves.

Q. What's gray, sits at the bed and takes the piss?
A. A kidney dialysis machine.

Q. What do you call a female police officer that shaves her pubic hair?
A. C*nt Stubble.

Q. Why do only 10% of women go to heaven?
A. Because if they all went, it would be hell.

Q. What goes: "CLICK -is that it? CLICK -is that it? CLICK -is that it?"
A. A blind person with a rubix cube.

Q. Why did God invent yeast infection?
A. So women know what it feels like to live with an annoying c*nt.

Q. Did you hear about the two gay guys that had an argument in the bar?
A. They went outside to exchange blows.

Q. Why did the gay guy think his lover was cheating on him?
A. He came home shit faced.

Q. What do you get when you cross a rooster with a flea?
A. An itchy cock.

Q. Why is a Laundromat a bad place for a guy to pick up women?
A. Women who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.

Q. Why are roach clips called roach clips?
A. Because "pot holder" was already taken.

Q. What's the worst part about getting a lung transplant?
A. The first couple of times you cough, its not your phlegm...

Q. Why do women have arms?
A. Have you any idea how long it would take to LICK a bathroom clean?

Q. Why is being in the military like a blowjob?
A. The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.

Q. What's the bad news about being a test tube baby?
A. You know for sure that your dad is a wanker.

Q. How are men like noodles?
A. They're always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.

Q. Why don't Canadians have group sex?
A. Too many thank-you letters to write afterwards.

Q. Why are hangovers better than women?
A. Hangovers will go away.

Q. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
A. Both of them.

Q. What's the difference between a 'Spice Girls' video and a porn video?
A. The porn video has better music!

Q. What's the best part of having a homeless girlfriend?
A. You can drop her off where ever you want!

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RE: Crude Riddles... - 4/20/2006 4:00:11 AM

Dustyn

Posts: 1044
Joined: 4/5/2006
Status: offline

Oh damn... those are just wrong... which make me wrong because I laughed the whole way through that list... LOL

Q: What do you call a 500 pound tiger?
A: Pussy that eats you

Q: What do you get when you cross a rooster with a telephone pole?
A: A 30 foot cock that wants to reach out and touch someone

Q: What do you get when you cross a rooster and a peanut butter sandwich?
A: A cock that sticks to the roof of your mouth.

Q: What do you call a guy with no arms, no legs and is laying in front of your door when you get home?
A: Matt

Q: What do you call a guy with no arms, no legs who tries to go swimming?
A: Bob

Q: What do you call a guy with no arms, no legs that is stuck to a wall?
A: Art

Q: What do you call two homosexuals named Bob?
A: Oral Roberts

There are more in my brain, but they're hiding at the moment. =P

Thanks for the laugh. =)

_____________________________

Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.

Murderer?! Murderer! Let me tell you something about murder. It's fun; it's easy; you gonna learn ALL about it. - Tin Tin

Can you be more amusing?

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

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RE: Crude Riddles... - 4/20/2006 7:39:55 AM

slaveofdarkhold

Posts: 124
Joined: 3/15/2006
Status: offline

The good girl in me is telling me not to join in and yet.....

Q: What's worse than finding a maggot in your apple?
A: Finding half a maggot in your apple
Q: What's worse than finding half a maggot in your apple?
A. Anal gang rape

(in reply to Dustyn)

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Post #: 3

RE: Crude Riddles... - 4/20/2006 9:34:18 AM

Saratov

Posts: 1716
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline

Try ear plugs, maybe they won't be able to get out.

(in reply to Dustyn)

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RE: Crude Riddles... - 4/20/2006 9:44:24 AM

gooddogbenji

Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline

Alrighty..... Women, use them earplugs!

Why don't women need watches?
There's a clock on the stove

Why don't women need drivers licenses?
No road between the bedroom and kitchen

Why do women have such small feet?
So they can stand closer to the sink

How many women does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. The bitch can cook in the dark

What's wrong when your wife comes out of the kitchen to bitch you out?
The leash broke

How do you fix a broken dishwasher?
Hit the bitch and tell her to keep working

What do you say to a women with 2 black eyes?
Nothing. You already told her twice.

Awwwww.... now don't be offended, honey. I don't see you like that!!! I swear!

I should say, I have nothing against women.... everyone should own a few....

But seriously, discrimination against women is wrong.... Discrimination implies they're people.

Yours,

benji

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Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to Saratov)

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RE: Crude Riddles... - 4/20/2006 3:47:38 PM

amaidiamond

Posts: 1793
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Watford / London
Status: offline

Ok here goes:

Why are men like toilets?
They're either vacant, engaged or full of sh*t

How do you confuse a blond sub?
Put her in a round room and order her to kneel in the corner.

Why are men like bank accounts?
Without cash they don't raise much interest.

What do you do if your dishwasher breaks down?
Kick him

Why do brides wear white?
So they match the rest of the domestic appliences

(in reply to gooddogbenji)

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Post #: 6