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Pro Dommes - 4/19/2006 2:17:21 PM   
ladylexington


Posts: 117
Joined: 6/7/2005
Status: offline 		I was reading another thread that hammered pro dommes, and couldn't help wondering why they have such a bad rap. I love to read about people's real-life experiences with pros.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Pro Dommes - 4/19/2006 2:32:24 PM   
dave1212


Posts: 158
Joined: 1/2/2006
From: Lancashire UK
Status: offline 		Well ladylexington i personally (im waiting for the flaming to start ) see no problem with Pro Dommes i mean they do provide a service and if that service was not required they would be out of buisness wouldn't they..

Also the vast majority offer thier services without any sexual intercourse taking place so the small minded few who associate them with (prostitutes) are way off the mark..

Just my opinion ~smiles~ so i'm bound to upset a few..


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(in reply to ladylexington)
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RE: Pro Dommes - 4/19/2006 2:57:50 PM   
Proprietrix


Posts: 756
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Ohio/West Virginia
Status: offline 		I tried Pro-Domming and walked away infuriated at those who had ruined the profession for others. Most of my clientelle were married men looking for sexual play. When I would tell these men that I didn't do sexual play, I got hours upon hours of hearing how Mistress So-and-so would use a strap-on, or Madam Whats-her-name would do dildos, or Mz. Whoever would do queening. To me, all those things were sexual, intimate activities.
When I would check out other Pro-Dommes websites, I found that a large percentage of them were offering these activities, but then had a little disclaimer at the bottom of their page that said "Professional Domination is not prostitution" or "This is not a sex industry". I thought it was kinda hypocritical.
I was making *good* money at it and barely charged half of what some do, but I just couldn't bring myself over that sexual threshold, and the requests for me to do so got really redundant any annoying on a daily basis, to the point I was starting to dilike the whole lifestyle, so I gave it up.
I still stay in contact with a few of the clients that were more submissive oriented, and I had fun with some of the online clients who wanted daily messages and duties to perform. But overall, dipping into Pro-Domming was way too sexually oriented for my taste.

So my discontentment (if even that, it's probably more an apathetic disinterest), is kind of two-fold.
I think a lot of Pro-Dommes out there have crossed the line or are extremely pushing the envelope between Domination and Prostitution, and that makes it extremely difficult for the Pro-Dommes who won't engage in sexual activity. At the same time, it sends a message to new submissives that yes indeed, this lifestyle is strictly about sex and fetish fulfillment.

Now please note, I have NO problem with Prostitution. In fact, I find it to be a lot more forthright because they don't put their ad out there and then add disclaimers that aren't exactly accurate. In fact, if I had to choose between the two professions, I would probably choose being a prostitute, just so everyone is being upfront about what it is they're there for.
I also fully do understand that there are Pro-Dommes out there who don't offer sexual services.
And I also fully understand that a lot of people don't even consider the activities I listed as sexual in nature.
I'm just saying that for me personally, those activities cross a line into sexuality.

(in reply to ladylexington)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Pro Dommes - 4/19/2006 3:11:26 PM   
LadyMorgynn


Posts: 800
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: N. Carolina
Status: offline 		I don't mind pro Domme's at all.  I just don't think they should use this site... a free (wow!) personals site for those in the Lifestyle... to advertise their business. I mean... the Internet is FULL of places for guys to look for pro's, right?  When they come HERE, they are looking for someone for themselves, and I both understand and sympathize with their frustration at browsing profiles and finding so many pro's wanting money.  I do think collarme should not allow pro's to advertise here or troll for paying customers, or at least should make them pay to put up an advertisement, with all the other pay-per advertisers, and NOT in a personals profile.

Not that collarme cares what I think <grin>

< Message edited by LadyMorgynn -- 4/19/2006 3:17:47 PM >

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RE: Pro Dommes - 4/19/2006 3:37:32 PM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		This dead horse has been kicked to hamburger, but never by me, so here goes.

Issue 1: "They're prostitutes, whores, hookers, sex workers, etc..." - Perhaps, that depends on your exact definition and interpretation of sex, prostitute, etc, and the degree of service they provide.  No comment from me, as I'll get horsewhipped by both sides no matter what I say.

(Maybe I should comment....  mmmmm...  horsewhip.... Wipes drool from chin)

Issue 2: Are they allowed?  It's not against the TOS (by the usual interpretation of "financial slavery"), so they're allowed.

Issue 3: Do I approve of their being here?  I'd rather have smart Prodommes who know what they're doing, than those 20 year old "Mistresses" whose profiles read as follows:

don't contact me if ur not willing to serve me in r/l !!!!!!!!Lookig for real slaves only, no fakes!!!!
u will live for me only if you have limits fuck off
in ur firt msg send a pic or i wont waste my valuable time on u
NO ONE LINERS
if ur not respectfl, dont expect to here back!!!!
 
Sorry about the off topic rant, but seriously, after reading a few of those profiles, Prodommes seem like the lesser of two evils.  And say what you will, a profile like the one I wrote is evil.

And no one can tell me a Prodomme is not in the lifestyle.  That's like saying a mechanic can't like cars because he makes money off it.  So, if they're in the lifestyle, they should be allowed here, the argument may be they shouldn't be here to find clients.

Anyway, my point of view, I'm now off to collect the tribute for my horsewhipping. 

Yours,


benji

< Message edited by gooddogbenji -- 4/19/2006 3:42:24 PM >

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RE: Pro Dommes - 4/19/2006 3:40:24 PM   
LadyMorgynn


Posts: 800
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: N. Carolina
Status: offline 		Point taken! 

quote:

Sorry about the off topic rant, but seriously, after reading a few of those profiles, Prodommes seem like the lesser of two evils.  And say what you will, a profile like the one I wrote is evil.


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Lady Morgynn
www.farhorizons.net/LadyMorgynn

(in reply to gooddogbenji)
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RE: Pro Dommes - 4/19/2006 4:16:06 PM   
MizSuz


Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyMorgynn

I don't mind pro Domme's at all.  I just don't think they should use this site... a free (wow!) personals site for those in the Lifestyle... to advertise their business.


If they were banned we'd start seeing a whole lot more bitchy posts about people who initiated conversations with a woman who then informed them they require tribute (because if they post it outright they'll be banned).  These things have a lifecycle and if you wait the person who is not genuinely into it will cycle out (and 10 more will take her place until they cycle out).

Financial domination is a legit kink (assuming there is any such thing) so if we banned pros or others who eroticize, or capitalize on those who do eroticize, financial domination then what will be next?  Spanking? Edge play?  Blood sports?  Water sports?  It's difficult enough to police the site for illegal activities, imagine if a fetish site started deciding whose fetish was legit or what did and didn't constitute fetish.  It'd tank.

I like this site the way it is but can appreciate folks who want to filter it out of their searches.  But then, if they availed themself of the "block profile" feature eventually they would only see the occasional one come up.  CM has provided the tools for self empowerment in this regard.

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to LadyMorgynn)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Pro Dommes - 4/19/2006 4:33:30 PM   
LadyMorgynn


Posts: 800
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: N. Carolina
Status: offline 		Actually, financial domination IS a legitimate kink.  Pro Domme is a paid-per service.  So let's get rid of the pro's and allow Mistresses financial domination to post :)

Or, ban BOTH.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MizSuz

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyMorgynn

I don't mind pro Domme's at all.  I just don't think they should use this site... a free (wow!) personals site for those in the Lifestyle... to advertise their business.


If they were banned we'd start seeing a whole lot more bitchy posts about people who initiated conversations with a woman who then informed them they require tribute (because if they post it outright they'll be banned).  These things have a lifecycle and if you wait the person who is not genuinely into it will cycle out (and 10 more will take her place until they cycle out).

Financial domination is a legit kink (assuming there is any such thing) so if we banned pros or others who eroticize, or capitalize on those who do eroticize, financial domination then what will be next?  Spanking? Edge play?  Blood sports?  Water sports?  It's difficult enough to police the site for illegal activities, imagine if a fetish site started deciding whose fetish was legit or what did and didn't constitute fetish.  It'd tank.

I like this site the way it is but can appreciate folks who want to filter it out of their searches.  But then, if they availed themself of the "block profile" feature eventually they would only see the occasional one come up.  CM has provided the tools for self empowerment in this regard.


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Lady Morgynn
www.farhorizons.net/LadyMorgynn

(in reply to MizSuz)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Pro Dommes - 4/19/2006 4:52:09 PM   
NeedToUseYou


Posts: 2297
Joined: 12/24/2005
From: None of your business
Status: offline 		I say kick the pro-dommes off, and let's get us some prostitutes around here. 

Of course if the pro-domme offers sexual release she can stay to.












hmmmm, guess I should add the the required disclaimer. Joking people. I say there is plenty of room for prostitutes and Pro-Dommes, hows that for open minded.




(in reply to ladylexington)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Pro Dommes - 4/19/2006 5:02:37 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		Power Exchange is up to each person what their definition of power is, and what they personally are willing to exchange for it.
 
Pros are a good way to go if your lifestyle limits you from having your needs met in any other way ie;cheating on you wife ect...but for a lasting intimate connection, I would be wary because if your money dries up your lady will drop you like a sack of rocks.
 
We take on a great responsibility as dominants  when we chose to to take on a sub, we have to be worthy of that responsibility, and dropping a submissive who has given so much of themselves by being entertaining,  yielding, learning, eager, earnest, helpful, sweet and obedient because they run out of dough is not with in my code of ethics personally. 

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(in reply to LadyMorgynn)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Pro Dommes - 4/19/2006 5:18:50 PM   
NINAakaProdomme


Posts: 7
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		Ahem,

Well once being a prodomme, and now a "Lifestyle Mistress",  to all of the prodomme's defense, most of my slaves/clients were married or in a relationship, and I was there "Mistress" in every sense of the word.  There was so much discretion involved that I had to limit phone calls and meetings to the mutual conveinences, vs taking ownership of a personal slave who is a open book for me and available at all times.. 

I loved prodomming. And I didn't feel bad to charge a tribute for my time. I did a min. of  2 hour sessions. My tribute helped pay for the apartment I rented and costs of converting and maintaing a dungeon, and the equipment and the toys and gear I use, and for the wonderful outfits, corsets and shoes which I wear.  Surely all of you know how much those things costs?? I use to tell my slaves that there are something you just can't put a monetary value on, especially my time!!

I did not do sex, no oral or intercourse, and I showed very little if any nudity. Although I am proud of my piercings and sometimes a privileged slave would get to see them or touch them. I did nothing illegal and it was not prostitution.

Until then,

Mistress NINA 

(in reply to NeedToUseYou)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Pro Dommes - 4/19/2006 5:23:27 PM   
MizSuz


Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyMorgynn

Or, ban BOTH.



Indeed.  Then we can institute weight limitations.  Shall we toss a coin for whatever should be next or take a poll?

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to LadyMorgynn)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Pro Dommes - 4/19/2006 5:35:38 PM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		Personally, I'm not for weight limitations.  Come on!  Be realistic.  But in order to make this run smoothly and to prevent favouritism on any individual's parts, I feel we should work through a commitee.

The Committee for the Banning of Treatment of subs, (CBTs for short) will decide on a list of kinks to poll CM members on.  The top 5 will be eliminated.  Then we do this again until ONLY Prodommes are allowed on the site, and everyone will be happy. 

Or gone.  But the remainder will be happy. 

I will chair this committee.  Any other volunteers?  And not only do we need chairs, but tables, loungers and Doms to sit in them too!

Yours,


benji

Edited to add:  Not one word of this post was serious.  Even the signoff, "Yours" is wishful thinking.  So no getting offended.  Besides, getting offended is the first kink to go.

I would ALSO like to add, not everyone will be happy.  Prodommes won't be, because of lack of clients. 

So they'll leave. 

In editing this a second time, I solved the problem.

< Message edited by gooddogbenji -- 4/19/2006 5:54:24 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Pro Dommes - 4/19/2006 5:45:09 PM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		< dons flame suit>---actually, prosititution is a profession recognized in specific countries as a real profession--don't generalize---we don't like it here in the US but its quite fine when Americans hit Amsterdam--
 
Most of the good Prodommes with a good, long standing rep--do not participate in sex, sexual activities, the exchange or encouragement of fluid production or the exchange of fluids--so lets stop generalizing--
 
oh and btw, politicians don't take funds from special interest groups either---
 
now--there will always be those we consider--sleezy, it is a personal standard--there will always be lifestyle preferences we perceive to be sleezy or not acceptable--hmmm I hardly think My manager would find the fact that I chain the boys balls up and walk him around with a leash---acceptable---I have a friend who is a ProDomme, she is one of the best, She gets in to the psyche of the submissive and She's damn good--
 
We profess tolerance within reason in our life and yet we aren't--so My take is let Them be, now when they grandstand like some of our other Dominants and submissives--well they get what they ask for.

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Mistress Hathor


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Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Pro Dommes - 4/19/2006 5:47:34 PM   
Proprietrix


Posts: 756
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Ohio/West Virginia
Status: offline 		I didn't read the OP as relating to Pro-Dommes on Collarme, but as relating to Pro-Dommes in general.

(in reply to gooddogbenji)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Pro Dommes - 4/19/2006 5:55:01 PM   
LadyMorgynn


Posts: 800
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: N. Carolina
Status: offline 		You missed my point, which was that if financial domination, a legimitate kink, was banned, so too should those professionals requiring financial transactions.  Since profiles requiring financial transactions are allowed, SO TOO should profiles requesting (or offering) financial domination.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MizSuz

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyMorgynn

Or, ban BOTH.



Indeed.  Then we can institute weight limitations.  Shall we toss a coin for whatever should be next or take a poll?


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Lady Morgynn
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(in reply to MizSuz)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Pro Dommes - 4/19/2006 6:00:15 PM   
NINAakaProdomme


Posts: 7
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		Excuse me, but I have a stable of former "subs" that I didn't drop because their money ran out. To each their own I guess.

My prodomme name here on collar me, was for recognition. I still have ProDomme as screen name on AOL, as well as MistressNINA.

Until then,
Mistress NINA

(in reply to crouchingtigress)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Pro Dommes - 4/19/2006 6:10:55 PM   
UtopianRanger


Posts: 3251
Status: offline
quote:

I was reading another thread that hammered pro dommes, and couldn't help wondering why they have such a bad rap. I love to read about people's real-life experiences with pros.



Well....Never seen one nor ever plan to. But, I think an ''honest to goodness'' professional lady is obviously a valuable commodity.

Now the ''money-girls'' {cons} on the other hand, should be sent to The Hague with all the neocons. Oh.... and all the suckers who pay em', should be shipped off with them, for making the rest of us look naive and stupid.


JMHO


 - R

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-General George S. Patton


(in reply to ladylexington)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Pro Dommes - 4/19/2006 6:27:23 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline 		Well I have made my position abundantly clear on this topic, it has been discussed to Hell and back again...The Pros stay, and good luck to them....but I won't get into it any further (sorry for those who were expecting to come out with a flamethrower)

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Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Pro Dommes - 4/19/2006 7:01:18 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		Well that is refreshing...

_____________________________


Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




(in reply to NINAakaProdomme)
Profile   Post #: 20
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