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Let's Talk About Sex or Kink! - 4/19/2006 2:29:50 PM

BlkTallFullfig

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Jasmyn said we don't openly discuss sex or kink on the forums. She may have a point.

I personally prefer to be approached with courtesy and respect, and with manners that suggest good breeding. I'll expand: approach me like you would a lady on the street. After a courteous approach however, I'm not opposed to discussing sex/sexuality if we happen upon it in conversation, and usually we do happen upon it given that we have met at a kinky (kinky sex) site.

I'm still a relative novice, and an awkward in terms of scening. I don't even like the term scening, because for me, BDSM is playful sex within what would be in my case, a D/s or M/s relationship. My favorite sex involves lots of thoughtful attention and care from my boy (foreplay), followed by my spanking him, having him orally serve me, than continue to some CBT (light, as I'm still learning), some oral on him, and maybe fucking (intercourse me on his penis, or my strap on...). Now I'm blushing.

I would love to learn more about some of your favorite scenes, whether you've experienced it or only fantasized about it ladies, gentlemen, submissives and slaves. I'm still an awkward scene person, so this will be great for my learning as well as for boys and girls to get some fantasies out.
Thanks for your indulgence. M

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RE: Let's Talk About Sex or Kink! - 4/19/2006 2:39:34 PM

AAkasha

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I like sex. I like kink. But I don't necessarily like them at the same time. Not because it's not fun -- but because it's a bit of "stimulation overload." I think a different part of my lust/gut is satisfied by the femdom stuff than just a generic orgasm, and while I am in a very lustful femdom mode my goal is not usually "the orgasm" -- it's the continuation of the rush I'm feeling as it relates to my partner's helplessness,suffering and humiliation.

That might sound confusing, but it really isn't. If I want to have an orgasm, I have one. If I want to have sexual intercourse, I do that, and it might have some femdom "flavor" because that's the way I communicate lust and affection.

But if I have a femdom *itch* to scratch, then my focus is on the intense bondage, pain, humiliation or whatever I'm putting my man through, and how that is making me feel. I get hyper-focussed on his reactions, and his reactions drive an incredibly fulfilling *ache* in my belly that is as good as orgasm but feels longer. It's like an all over body tingle and a head rush that grows and grows as we get more and more involved in the scenario. To think about sexual intercourse or orgasm at that particular moment would almost be a "downgrade" from the heat level, if that makes sense.

The BDSM activities themselves make me incredibly wet and serve as awesome foreplay to sex; however, I am often worn out enough or in post-femdom-bliss to not be achy/horny for orgasm. This has always been an incredible mystery to me. If generic foreplay -- kissing, fondling, naked bodies touching -- gets me wet, I want an orgasm, and I want it bad. To not get one would be hugely frustrating. But femdom play -- bondage, fetish activities, power games -- make me incredibly wet also, and an orgasm is usually NOT on my priority list at that moment. I just want to continue in the rush of the dominant lust, because that feels so damn good.

Akasha

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RE: Let's Talk About Sex or Kink! - 4/19/2006 3:05:45 PM

BlkTallFullfig

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha
The BDSM activities themselves make me incredibly wet and serve as awesome foreplay to sex; however, I am often worn out enough or in post-femdom-bliss to not be achy/horny for orgasm. This has always been an incredible mystery to me. If generic foreplay -- kissing, fondling, naked bodies touching -- gets me wet, I want an orgasm, and I want it bad. To not get one would be hugely frustrating. But femdom play -- bondage, fetish activities, power games -- make me incredibly wet also, and an orgasm is usually NOT on my priority list at that moment. I just want to continue in the rush of the dominant lust, because that feels so damn good.
Akasha

Thanks Akasha,
I think I understand what you mean... Fetishy play, say an extended bondage, spanking/whipping session, or strap on use is very draining and goes to my head in a way I cannot explain, but for me, if I haven't orgasmed at least once before or after, I'm not content, and may even get annoyed; so I tend to get that out of the way early, and that way I can focus on playing with my boy toy and just feeling him and trying to have him enjoy himself.

To clarify, foreplay for me is largely the way he treats me or seves me (with gentleness, chivalry/thoughtfulness) before we get to the boudoir. M

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RE: Let's Talk About Sex or Kink! - 4/19/2006 7:37:24 PM

thetammyjo

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I can never answer a question like this.

I don't have favorite scenes -- either its everyday stuff or its more a continuum of llittle adventures none of which really stick out that much in my mind unless it was a very special event that had a lot of emotional attachment to it.

My best memories aren't of set-up scenes or elaborate situations but merely being in the moment.

I spent an entire weekend with Fox a few months after we began. We stayed at a hotel suite with a huge bathroom and we were "in scene" that entire time (our first extended Ds time). I know we did a lot of things but the one that sticks out most in my mind is us overloading the bathtub with too much bubble bath liquid and it literally getting so bubbly that I we couldn't see each other.

There are those moment when we do breath play and I put duct tape on his mouth, hold him on my lap, look into his eyes, and close his nose shut with my hand. We are starring eye-to-eye and I can almost see and hear every second that pounds by as he is without breath. I can feel the power of it returning to him when I release his nose or remove the duct tape. DO NOT TRY THIS UNLESS YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING PLEASE.

Those are the examples that stick out in my mind right now that involve Fox anyway. There have been other people, of course, but those times feel less public to me because I can't consult that other person at this moment nor do I feel as close to them now as I do with my current slave.

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RE: Let's Talk About Sex or Kink! - 4/19/2006 9:16:19 PM

BlkTallFullfig

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quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo
I don't have favorite scenes -- either its everyday stuff or its more a continuum of llittle adventures

Thanks for saying that... Sometimes I feel lame when a guy asks me how I like to "dominate", because most of the time it is everyday stuff, and I just know he isn't asking if I like to make my man cook dinner and wash dishes, lol.

quote:

I know we did a lot of things but the one that sticks out most in my mind is us overloading the bathtub with too much bubble bath liquid and it literally getting so bubbly that I we couldn't see each other.

Thid made me laugh, thank you for sharing.

I'm now wondering where all the submissive men with their kinky fantasies or questions about how we feel about kinky sex are!!!

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RE: Let's Talk About Sex or Kink! - 4/19/2006 10:00:48 PM

cuckrob

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I'm now wondering where all the submissive men with their kinky fantasies or questions about how we feel about kinky sex are!!!
[/quote]

Judging by previous reactions i think we would just get so much abuse saying we were just writing things to 'get off on' or gratuitously talking about sex etc. Just my opinion of course, but certainly why i haven't responded to your post as you wish. Apologies for that and i enjoyed your post very much.

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RE: Let's Talk About Sex or Kink! - 4/19/2006 10:10:46 PM

BlkTallFullfig

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quote:

ORIGINAL: cuckrob
Judging by previous reactions i think we would just get so much abuse saying we were just writing things to 'get off on' or gratuitously talking about sex etc. Just my opinion of course, but certainly why i haven't responded to your post as you wish. Apologies for that and i enjoyed your post very much.

I understand what you are saying, but in this instance, you have carte blanche to go to town with anything you've experienced or would like to experience with a kinky domina. This thread really is begun for us (men, women, dom, sub/slave) to openly talk about sex/kink.
So if you have a thought, desire, or scene in mind, give it up, I'm trying to learn for godssakes!

M

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RE: Let's Talk About Sex or Kink! - 4/20/2006 12:05:26 AM

Vendaval

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I am a private person in many ways, so when doing a Scene at a dungen or play party there will be many tools and techniques involved, but no sex. What goes on behind
closed doors can be kinky or non-kinky sex, and there maybe 2, 3, or 4 people involved. Some of My favorite moments involve jokes, stories, and shared
giggle fits in the bedroom. Having intimate friends that can be playful and
spontaneous is a great blessing.

Regards,

-Vendaval-

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

I would love to learn more about some of your favorite scenes, whether you've experienced it or only fantasized about it ladies, gentlemen, submissives and slaves. I'm still an awkward scene person, so this will be great for my learning as well as for boys and girls to get some fantasies out.
Thanks for your indulgence. M

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RE: Let's Talk About Sex or Kink! - 4/20/2006 3:02:09 AM

UtopianRanger

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quote:

I'm still a relative novice, and an awkward in terms of scening. I don't even like the term scening, because for me, BDSM is playful sex within what would be in my case, a D/s or M/s relationship. My favorite sex involves lots of thoughtful attention and care from my boy (foreplay), followed by my spanking him, having him orally serve me, than continue to some CBT (light, as I'm still learning), some oral on him, and maybe fucking (intercourse me on his penis, or my strap on...). Now I'm blushing.

Damn M....

You've even got me blushing....LMAO!~!

- R

< Message edited by UtopianRanger -- 4/20/2006 3:03:26 AM >

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RE: Let's Talk About Sex or Kink! - 4/20/2006 10:19:26 AM

Jasmyn

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quote:

I would love to learn more about some of your favorite scenes, whether you've experienced it or only fantasized about it ladies, gentlemen, submissives and slaves. I'm still an awkward scene person, so this will be great for my learning as well as for boys and girls to get some fantasies out.
Thanks for your indulgence. M

Had a lovely evening recently with a local sub boy I discovered...he was invited sight unseen to my place and for sometime we just enjoyed each others company over a couple of glasses of wine. Deciding it was time, I beckoned him to get on his knees in front of me. Doing as asked, I roughly grabbed at his shirt pulling him closer and one by one untethered each button telling him how much more fun it is for me to be stripping him than simply asking him to get naked.

Shirt off I study his form, he was no greek adonis but for what he lacked in masculine appeal he certainly made up for in attitude. Willingly kissing my boots when ordered. But it was more than that, it was his whole demeanor...he responded beautifully to my words. When grabbing him about the face and telling him he should indeed be grateful to be kissing my feet, he melted, whimpering when I momentarily allowed him to kiss the bare flesh on my thigh, unashamedly powerless when locked into a collar, unbelieveably charged when on all fours I ran my hands over his body, desperate aching to do or be anything if it was to please me.

I love this kind of stuff...them totally in the zone ... an egoless, powerless being ...a happy and humble state...free to be who they feel at times they truly are ... surrendering, if only momentarily, to someone else's warmth and control.

Kink often gets dismissed as inconsequential to the big picture, that submission is more than boot licking and strap-ons ... which it is, and my byline pretty much screams it ... but it is these images of deconstructed patriarchy that, alas have been hi-jacked by porn, that carry a lot of weight as to what can make the average sub man tick. Ergo I think it is important that these types of traditional subjugated imagery of men on their knees to what they deem to be be 'powerful women' be discussed openly by those who employ or enjoy them in their alt.lifestyles.

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RE: Let's Talk About Sex or Kink! - 4/20/2006 1:41:05 PM

BlkTallFullfig

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jasmyn
Kink often gets dismissed as inconsequential to the big picture, that submission is more than boot licking and strap-ons ... which it is, and my byline pretty much screams it ... but it is these images of deconstructed patriarchy that, alas have been hi-jacked by porn, that carry a lot of weight as to what can make the average sub man tick. Ergo I think it is important that these types of traditional subjugated imagery of men on their knees to what they deem to be be 'powerful women' be discussed openly by those who employ or enjoy them in their alt.lifestyles.

Thank you for sharing your scene Jasmyn...
I am wondering if you discuss these things when someone first approaches you online? One major reason I don't initially discuss kink is that I feel the boy is busy with himself on the other side of the keyboard/phone, rather than genuinely paying attention and learning about me. I feel like he is shoving it down my throat (figuratively), without the foreplay or dinner prelude, and that feels like I'm being subjugated.
I agree that we should openly discuss it, when the time is right for said discussion.

quote:

Damn M....
You've even got me blushing....LMAO!~!
- R

Oh Sorry UtopianRanger, knew I'd be alienating at least one person who previously respected me.

Thank you Vendaval for your input as well. I know this thing we do is very private for some of us, so put myself, and and everyone on the spot. M

< Message edited by BlkTallFullfig -- 4/20/2006 1:47:26 PM >

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