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WyldHrt -> RE: Grudgingly given aftercare - long post (8/15/2010 1:32:09 AM)
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quote:
I'd like to ask a few questions regarding this thread. Perhaps there are some folks who would be interested in answering them.
Okies [:D]
I've noticed some comments that come down to "you've obviously not experienced sub space". Am I correct in thinking that at least some folks do not believe that some of us who top do not hit the equivalent? The can't move, can't articulate, literally walking into walls if we've gone deep type? Do people not think that we become just as dehydrated, need the snack, and all of the other stuff that comes with post scene preferences if we have played hard?
I can only speak for myself, but I certainly know that this happens. That said, I think the comments were more directed at those who have 'pooh poohed' the whole idea of both subspace and topspace, and seem to expect that someone spacing will act in a logical manner.
I'm also wondering why folks are equating the boyfriend to the top? The top who actually played with her was the one who had the first hand knowledge. Not only of the events that got her that deep in space, but also had the experience to deal with. It seems to Me that if she didn't know what she would be like, there's no way for him to know since he's not the one who plays that hard
True, but how do any of us know if the top in question really had that experience? It certainly took the OP by surprise. She even said that the scene wasn't any harder than what she had taken from the same friend when they played before. To me, it sounds like this was new territory for everyone involved.
Has it occurred to anyone else that at least part of what she wanted wasn't accessible to the boyfriend at all? During this conversation, it's been mentioned about not just the water, but also the cookie. Was he supposed to go downstairs from the hotel room back to the play area to get it for her? Unless they had snacks in the room, there was no way for him to win this one. Either go downstairs to get cookies or stay and cuddle with her. Personally, I've been to a lot of multiple day events. I bring junk food because I know what kind of top space I get into. (Usually because I'm already hyped up because I'm at an event and that tends to make Me more excited and go further.)
It might be me, but when I stay in a hotel room, even overnight, there will be a junk food stash before I check in (have you seen the prices on the minibar in most hotels?? OMG!) That said, I don't really think the cookie was pivotal to the situation. Water is free, and blankets are provided. If she really needed food, most hotels have snack machines down the if not room service.
Would anybody have felt differently about the aftercare issue if she went to a play party across town and he stayed home? Even in the same hotel, they really were in two different locations. If she had been across town, would it have made a difference?
Good question. For me, it might have made a difference, but maybe not. First of all, they weren't at 'home', they were at an event together and sharing a room, with the play party just downstairs. He knew before she went exactly where she would be and that she would be back at a given time. Had she gone to a club across town to play, it may well have been different.
One last one. Lots of folks on this thread have said they would have provided the aftercare to someone they didn't scene with. For those who have done this during a play party, how did you walk the tightrope of doing what has been called the "humane" thing, and those situations where a bottom that you didn't play with who may not want aftercare? You just happened to see them post scene in deep space.
I haven't been in this situation as of yet, but if I saw someone (top or bottom) who seemed to be alone and in need of care, I would ask, from a distance, if there was anything I could get for them. I would offer a drink, snack, or blanket; or to go find the person they were asking for if that is what they wanted. Maybe I'm just weird that way [:D]
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