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Disappointing Viewpoints. - 8/12/2010 10:28:02 AM   
DaddyDomP


Posts: 17
Joined: 6/15/2009
Status: offline 		As I have been recovering from neck surgery, I have had the opportunity to watch way to much TV. In the past week I have seen 2 instances of shows knocking this lifestyle. It just is disappointing to me the lack of understanding.

The first was a real life crime show and the prosecuting attorney was saying the accused was guilty because his activity in a BDSM and sadistic sexual lifestyle made him more likely to kill.

The next was CSI where they did had a murder within a local community/dungeon. I just didn't like how they talked about the lifestyle as perverted. I know the word perversion is used by many within our lifestyle but in a good light.

Both these just put me off a little at the lack of understanding and compassion about lifestyle choices.
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RE: Disappointing Viewpoints. - 8/12/2010 10:35:06 AM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline 		I can't imagine it would be any more difficult to figure that the viewpoints are made by those who know nothing of what we do, or are biased against simply because 'what we do' can be an awfully convenient scapegoat under the right circumstances if things go wrong.

Jeff

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RE: Disappointing Viewpoints. - 8/12/2010 11:01:24 AM   
Twoshoes


Posts: 1218
Joined: 7/27/2010
Status: offline 		Well, yes, but think of if it this way:
The only real difference between a sadistic dominant and a sadistic psychopath is the capacity for empathy. The ability to relate to, care for and nurture others.

Granted not all people without empathy end up commiting crimes, some are still motivated by morals or principals. But morals and principals tend to change over time.

This is clearly a logical fallacy:
- guilty because his activity in a BDSM and sadistic sexual lifestyle made him more likely to kill.
However, the converse statement might be true:
- people who like to kill and torture are more likely to be into BDSM or a sadistic sexual lifestyle.

< Message edited by Twoshoes -- 8/12/2010 11:06:40 AM >

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RE: Disappointing Viewpoints. - 8/12/2010 11:02:54 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		Agreed.



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RE: Disappointing Viewpoints. - 8/12/2010 11:05:30 AM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		I don't know that I would put much faith or reaction into those shows. In my opinion they are completely unrealistic about most things, including their representations of crime, the law, court, investigation etc that are the basis for the background. Sensationalism is what makes people watch them. We're not really as sensational as a lifestyle in reality and that's not great TV.

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When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

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RE: Disappointing Viewpoints. - 8/12/2010 11:18:27 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I say this quite often on the boards when it comes to the topic of BDSM through pop culture or media.

The deal is that movies, tv, music, etc are going to latch on to those areas to gain a profit of some sort or another based on an old adage.  Sex sells.  Anything that makes sex appear to be more interesting/better/more intense to the average person sells better.   A good segment of the general populace wants to be having better and more interesting sex.  This is capitalized on and it turns into bucks at the box office and every other place that can take advantage of it.

Is it all going to be accurate?  No.  Not every person using this method to gain an audiance is going to care about that.  However, some of it is and the positive benefit for those interested in wiitwd is that some things have become more mainstream and less taboo.  When it's not accurate, <shrug> you've got an educational opportunity.


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RE: Disappointing Viewpoints. - 8/12/2010 11:29:07 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddyDomP
Both these just put me off a little at the lack of understanding and compassion about lifestyle choices.
Really? This is REALLY surprising to you?

It seems to me to be logical truism that when someone is "alternative" that other people will see them as different. If the alternative person goes out of their way to make themselves as different and abhorrent as possible, then I would expect other people to see them as abhorrent.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

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RE: Disappointing Viewpoints. - 8/12/2010 11:40:22 AM   
DaddyDomP


Posts: 17
Joined: 6/15/2009
Status: offline 		The topic is disappointing viewpoints not surprising viewpoints. I am in no way surprised. Just wanted to bring up an observation.

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RE: Disappointing Viewpoints. - 8/12/2010 11:40:38 AM   
EbonyWood


Posts: 2044
Joined: 7/8/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddyDomP

The next was CSI where they did had a murder within a local community/dungeon. I just didn't like how they talked about the lifestyle as perverted. I know the word perversion is used by many within our lifestyle but in a good light.




Mainstream depiction of BDSM is consistently pitiful. Even corny.
 
It pretty much always fixates on some whips and chains images.
 
A reasonably hot but matronly type will be all leathered up and tailing a businessman during his lunch hour.
 
Her name will be Madame Lash.
 
Cut to two skeptical detectives quizzing her on her smoke break about anyone looking for a' little extra'. Yawn.

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RE: Disappointing Viewpoints. - 8/12/2010 11:43:19 AM   
leadership527


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Joined: 6/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddyDomP
The topic is disappointing viewpoints not surprising viewpoints. I am in no way surprised. Just wanted to bring up an observation.
*nods* Fair enough. For me personally, I am not disappointed when people behave exactly as I expect them to.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to DaddyDomP)
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RE: Disappointing Viewpoints. - 8/12/2010 12:47:13 PM   
texangael


Posts: 167
Joined: 12/14/2009
Status: offline
quote:

The first was a real life crime show and the prosecuting attorney was saying the accused was guilty because his activity in a BDSM and sadistic sexual lifestyle made him more likely to kill.
Attorneys use a veneer of "facts" to rationalize the prejudices they seek to sell to the jury. To the prosecutor, every man on trial for murder is a monster, a devil in human form who deserves no hint of mercy. To the defense attorney, that man is a victim of circumstance, of bigotry, of prejudice and injustice most foul. Both will present an array of "facts" to sell their position and win their case.

It sucks, but in an adversarial system of justice, it is to be expected.

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RE: Disappointing Viewpoints. - 8/12/2010 1:31:11 PM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline 		baddies in movies always wear black - we wear black - maybe if we went for soft pastels

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So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

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RE: Disappointing Viewpoints. - 8/12/2010 1:55:17 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2
baddies in movies always wear black - we wear black - maybe if we went for soft pastels
And didn't find all sorts of truly troubling words... in fact search for the most troubling words possible... then re-define them.

Cunt, slut, slave, bitch, abuse, brainwash, ....

I mean seriously. I certainly don't expect someone not familiar with the entire back story to approve of that. I think most of vanilla-land has no problem with that crap as long as it's only good clean fun & games in the bedroom. But I think that when it becomes real even a lot of BDSM-land struggles. It's no surprise that vanilla people do also. Actually, now that I think about it, I'd kind of be very disappointed if people who were not clued in DID approve of most of what I read here.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to lally2)
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RE: Disappointing Viewpoints. - 8/12/2010 3:07:08 PM   
DaddyDomP


Posts: 17
Joined: 6/15/2009
Status: offline 		Interesting thought. If this weren't so different from what most consider norm, would we even enjoy it?

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RE: Disappointing Viewpoints. - 8/12/2010 3:13:57 PM   
Eraser


Posts: 12
Joined: 8/11/2008
Status: offline 		Another reason to have a general distaste for all shows like that. It's as if they go out of their way to paint anyone with a "label" as dangerous. Real law enforcement doesn't treat anyone "different" than most others any better either.

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RE: Disappointing Viewpoints. - 8/12/2010 3:14:15 PM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2

baddies in movies always wear black - we wear black - maybe if we went for soft pastels



A lady where I worked bought me some sweat shirts for my birthday one year. She got all bright happy colors. She said she picked those colors because she noticed I almost always wore black and thought I could use some color

As to the OP, I am not sure about the first show, but I have seen all of the Lady Heather ones on CSI and thought they did a fairly decent job of portraying things. In fact for a while I was hoping Grissom would hook up with her, but Sarah is hot, so it's all good.

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RE: Disappointing Viewpoints. - 8/12/2010 3:18:51 PM   
lally2


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Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddyDomP

Interesting thought. If this weren't so different from what most consider norm, would we even enjoy it?


im not sure what 'norm' is to be honest.

the thing is we turn words around and make them fun - cunt, slut, bitch - are all words people love here.  in 'nilla land these words are used to be rude.  abuse really has no place in these sorts of relationships, ideally there is no abuse, its just people having fun.  in vanilla land abuse does happen, its not fun and it happens mostly behind closed doors.

in the end, if you think about it, we've turned negatives into positives - and they still think we're the ones whove got it arseways.  lol

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

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RE: Disappointing Viewpoints. - 8/12/2010 3:39:30 PM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi


quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2

baddies in movies always wear black - we wear black - maybe if we went for soft pastels



A lady where I worked bought me some sweat shirts for my birthday one year. She got all bright happy colors. She said she picked those colors because she noticed I almost always wore black and thought I could use some color
.


im laughing, not at you, i promise - (pulls a straight face with difficulty).........  and did the colours make you happy........... at all 

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to thishereboi)
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RE: Disappointing Viewpoints. - 8/12/2010 4:05:49 PM   
DomImus


Posts: 2004
Joined: 3/17/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddyDomP
Both these just put me off a little at the lack of understanding and compassion about lifestyle choices.


I'm just as put off by the term "lifestyle" or the notion that all of this is a choice for me like heterosexuality was a choice.

To each his own.




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"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." Sidney J. harris

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RE: Disappointing Viewpoints. - 8/12/2010 4:12:18 PM   
DaddyDomP


Posts: 17
Joined: 6/15/2009
Status: offline 		I too enjoyed the Lady Heather shows. Grissom was the only one who didn't judge her. In this episode he even went to her to get an idea about the killers thought process.

The other show I mentioned was called "The Investigators" It is a true life crime show, not scripted.

lally2,

I am guessing too that there have been real instances that people have falsely hidden behind BDSM when in truth they did abuse someone. That sure doesn't help.

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