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Bagelfather -> RE: Is there a reason some see politeness as weakness (4/23/2006 2:42:54 PM)
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I am sure the reason why some people see politeness as a weakness is the same why it is seen as a weakness in vanilla relationships too. A lot of people want the "bad boy/girl" image but wants them to be loving and caring. There is a dual expectation of wanting a bad boy or girl, someone who is trouble but still be faithful, loving, and have a good heart.
I am, myself, a very police and overly nice person. It is just who I am, I am giving, caring etc and it is hard sometimes in dating vanilla or d/s in finding someone who doesn't see that as a bad thing. However, those I have gone out with who expect that I call "the crazy people." My experiences in dating people who want that kind of person have been bad and borderline ugly.
I do have a number of friends (of course all taken) who don't understand it either. But then again they are not "crazy people" and like someone who is nice, and polite and generous. Now when I'm topping that is a different story. I do keep my game face for different times because what is appropriate at one time is not appropriate in another. I'm still the same person down inside but I don't let the bad boy rule my life and lead me to bad judgment.
So bottom line... yes you will have a little more difficulty with people who see that as a sign of weakness, but forget about them. The people you do connect with who acept and respect you for your polite and kind manners are the kind of people you want as friends, lovers play partners, etc. So stay away from the crazy people. The term I have used is CAB "Crazy Assed Bitch" and I keep the CAB's at a distance from me and only let the people who like me for me into my life.
In the end you'll be much happier.
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