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First Munch - 8/16/2010 10:50:46 AM   
Kadu12


Posts: 22
Joined: 8/12/2010
Status: offline 		I've found one in my local area on Tuesday..not tomorrow, the next Tuesday.

I've never been along to one before, the munch line as seems usual isn't up and running until the day, has anyone any experiences they could share, so I've some idea what to expect

xx
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RE: First Munch - 8/16/2010 10:53:50 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kadu12
I've never been along to one before, the munch line as seems usual isn't up and running until the day, has anyone any experiences they could share, so I've some idea what to expect
Well, I had a lot of trepidation before my first munch. As it turned out the actuality was not nearly as dramatic as my imagination. At least for me, it was a bunch of folks sitting around in a totally normal setting/scene talking about a shared interest. Really, other than an awful lot of leather clothing, there wasn't much to see and it so very definitely was not intimidating.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to Kadu12)
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RE: First Munch - 8/16/2010 11:05:33 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Pretty much the same as Jeff's experience but without the leather clothing. A munch is just people talking. You will get to meet people but will not learn anything about kink.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: First Munch - 8/16/2010 11:06:45 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Don't shit your pants, don't stab anyone in the eye with a fork accidentally, on purpose is OK.

Other than that they mostly are a low-key meet and greet. 

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


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RE: First Munch - 8/16/2010 11:07:46 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline 		My first munch didn't even have the leather! (I don't think the leather comes as standard, Jeff...)

It's a bunch of people in a pub/bar/restaurant, nothing more. Be prepared to be asked the same couple of questions a few times-but that's the same as any new situation with people you don't know. In the unlikely event that someone makes you feel uncomfortable in any way, let the organiser know right then so that they can deal with it-and they *will* deal with it, because a munch that gets a bad reputation is a munch that people avoid, so it's in their interest for you to be comfortable and happy.

If you aren't sure who to talk to then the organisers will probably introduce you around-at some munches they have dedicated 'meet and greeters' whose job it is to make sure nobody gets nervous/feels left out.

Munches get a lot of new people coming through the doors, so bear in mind that however nervous you might feel the organisers will be used to dealing with people who are three times as nervous.

And enjoy! This stuff is supposed to be for fun! :P

_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.




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RE: First Munch - 8/16/2010 12:57:40 PM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Don't shit your pants, don't stab anyone in the eye with a fork accidentally, on purpose is OK.

Other than that they mostly are a low-key meet and greet. 

You know, I think Ron(ne) might have hit on something that I hadn't considered.

I'm not a big fan of munches BECAUSE they are so ordinary.  I might as well go to the food court in the mall and listen in on random conversations.  It doesn't match my style or my purposes at ALL.

For a munch to be valuable to me at all (which is why I far prefer play parties) I need to make a personal impact.  I need to be noticed and receive some sort of attention (which doesn't even have to be immediate).

I'm thinking the 'sticking a fork in someone's eye' is easily the best way to be memorable, and it really requires a little effort, just a little flick of the wrist and a little fortitude.  I think if the right person looks past the action, into the intent, that could very well be the best way to meet people.

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

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RE: First Munch - 8/16/2010 1:28:24 PM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline 		Like others have said, you have nothing to worry about.  It will just be a bunch of normal folks breaking bread together and having conversation.  I've never been to a munch where anyone wore leather, but obviously there are differences from city to city.  In all of the cities that I've attended munches in, participants are actually discouraged from wearing fetish clothing, or anything that resembles fetish clothing.  Leather tends to fall into that "resembles fetish clothing" category.

I would suggest that you make an effort to be personable.  Smile.  Introduce yourself to people.  Don't necessarily wait for everybody to come to you.  It would be nice if that happened, but the reality is that the regulars already know others at the munch.  They sometimes feel more comfortable talking to people that they already know.  You, on the other hand, won't know anybody.  So it is up to you to change that.  If you leave the munch without talking to at least 5 people, then I think you will have missed a great opportunity to connect with the local BDSM community, and to make some new friends.  Moreover, by being friendly, others will see that, and will feel much more comfortable coming over to talk to you.

So just relax and have a good time.  But remember, smile often and talk to as many people as possible.

Edit:  Oops!  I forgot one thing.  There may be a male Dom (or two) there who will see you as the "new meat".  They may be a bit obnoxious, or too pushy in their approach.  Just ignore them.  Talk to the other ladies in the group.  They'll point out who the jerks are that you should avoid. 

< Message edited by Rochsub2009 -- 8/16/2010 1:30:01 PM >

(in reply to Kadu12)
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RE: First Munch - 8/16/2010 1:34:41 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009

Just ignore them. 

I'm going to disagree with Rochsub here-if it happens don't just ignore them-tell the organisers. People can't fix problems they don't know exist, and sometimes all it takes is an official request from an organiser to stop a person behaving inappropriately.

_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.




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RE: First Munch - 8/16/2010 1:41:36 PM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009

Just ignore them. 

I'm going to disagree with Rochsub here-if it happens don't just ignore them-tell the organisers. People can't fix problems they don't know exist, and sometimes all it takes is an official request from an organiser to stop a person behaving inappropriately.


Actually, I agree with VC.  I meant ignore the individual rather than engaging in obnoxious conversation with them.  But DO report them to the organizers.

Hopefully you won't run into anyone who is unpleasant, and this will all be moot. 

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
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RE: First Munch - 8/16/2010 1:52:28 PM   
Kadu12


Posts: 22
Joined: 8/12/2010
Status: offline 		Wow, thanks for all the advise and tips peeps, just gotta figure out what to wear and get my ass there now  

As for the memorable bit, I can give the fork a miss, at 6ft barefoot my difficulty is hiding, not that I ever want to

(in reply to Rochsub2009)
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RE: First Munch - 8/16/2010 2:01:18 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kadu12
Wow, thanks for all the advise and tips peeps, just gotta figure out what to wear and get my ass there now  

OK, obviously MY munch wasn't very representative because apparently I got the super-deviant leather crowd munch *laughs*. Even so, I'd guess that generic casual wear would be about right for most munches. For a guy, jeans and a t-shirt... black if you want to assert your domliness *chuckles*. For a woman, any of the myriad things that would count as "casual" for the season and place you live.

Alternately, you can simply email the organizer and inquire how people normally dress.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to Kadu12)
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RE: First Munch - 8/16/2010 2:03:36 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		uhhhhhhhhhhhh...........I dress left, thanks for asking.

And in other news: Yeah, I saw she was an amazon, I was thinking very high heels and knock her to her knees, right off I was.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


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RE: First Munch - 8/16/2010 2:14:12 PM   
Kadu12


Posts: 22
Joined: 8/12/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

uhhhhhhhhhhhh...........I dress left, thanks for asking.

And in other news: Yeah, I saw she was an amazon, I was thinking very high heels and knock her to her knees, right off I was.


Your heels wouldn't need to be very high, you're not that short  

(in reply to mnottertail)
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RE: First Munch - 8/16/2010 4:15:44 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

For a guy, jeans and a t-shirt... black if you want to assert your domliness *chuckles*.

No, my darling, you're confused. You assert domliness by wearing a full-length leather duster, matrix-stylee.

Or at least you do if you're from round here.



_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.




(in reply to leadership527)
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RE: First Munch - 8/16/2010 4:30:13 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious
No, my darling, you're confused. You assert domliness by wearing a full-length leather duster, matrix-stylee.

And THIS right here is why I despair of ever being a true dom. :)

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: First Munch - 8/16/2010 4:39:25 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline 		What, you wouldn't look good in a full-length leather duster?

_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.




(in reply to leadership527)
Profile   Post #: 16
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