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24/7 D/s relationships - 4/20/2006 8:10:56 PM   
MistressTina66


Posts: 2
Joined: 12/26/2005
Status: offline 		Do 24/7  D/s relationships really work? What about if feelings are involved?
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RE: 24/7 D/s relationships - 4/20/2006 8:34:45 PM   
Real0ne


Posts: 21189
Joined: 10/25/2004
Status: offline 		Oh yes they certainly do work!  and when they are done right by people who have it together they are unsurpassed as far as i am concerned!  The best relationships especilly D/s have intense and to the core feelings involved as well.  If you have something in the cooker go for it you wont regret it!

r1


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RE: 24/7 D/s relationships - 4/20/2006 8:44:27 PM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline 		Yes they work - as long as all involved remember that 24/7 doesn't mean whips and chains all day every day ... or even every day.  It also doesn't mean fetishwear, being kept naked, or any number of other things that for some reason people seem to think have to happen if it's 24/7.

And honestly, in our opinions, it works best if there are feelings involved - mostly because you have more of an incentive to work out any problems to keep the relationship going well. 

(in reply to Real0ne)
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RE: 24/7 D/s relationships - 4/20/2006 11:36:23 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressTina66

Do 24/7  D/s relationships really work? What about if feelings are involved?


Well, it's been working for me for the last 10 years, so I have to answer yes. If two people are right for one another, it's not even that hard. ;)

Celeste

_____________________________

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Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


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RE: 24/7 D/s relationships - 4/21/2006 4:13:51 AM   
DiannaVesta


Posts: 1087
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Mid-Atlantic area
Status: offline 		They work when expectations and roles are clearly defined. At least from a femdom perspective. Having known quite a few male masters & their fem slaves, as close friends, I have to say that make dominance is more accepted, therefore I think easier. I wish this wasn’t true but it is. Women are emotionally complex, especially dominant women who wear many hats. Many of us are mothers, care givers, etc. This act of nurturing is too often looked on as a sign of submission that is bullshit but true. As much as a male may want and need to be owned by a dominant woman it really is his over all nature that affects the relationships. Then again a woman really is the meter that sets the tempo. If she isn’t truly on top of things (no pun intended) things can easily go out of sync & resentments start slipping in.


  Being dominant & kinky is like breathing air for me. It gets to a point where at some level it must always be present. This doesn’t mean it has to manifest always-in whips and chains. There are subtle ways to keep him mindful & keep it hot. I highly suggest you adopt a few key rules/structure in your home. Just a small example… when he is in the house the moment he walks in the door he is to put the collar on, sit down and take 5 minutes to breathe deeply & center.



GDV


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RE: 24/7 D/s relationships - 4/21/2006 4:38:00 AM   
MsDominiquenz


Posts: 65
Joined: 4/1/2006
Status: offline 		It works.
I have had my live in slave for 7 yrs, ..it takes work and time to get it right, and its all a journey, but the biggest thing is to drop the fantasy head..the cage and bread and water gig really gets boring.
I am not in a traditional relationship with him, dont want to be, but he is fulfilled and happy to serve, and as a busy lifestyle professional with a full social life, there are always folk around to add different flavours when I allow it.

As an overly submissive male his life can be hard out there..and as a Mistress I want/need a slave, so along with the pets and part-timers it all flows along nicely.


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RE: 24/7 D/s relationships - 4/21/2006 5:26:49 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressTina66

Do 24/7 D/s relationships really work? What about if feelings are involved?


Fox and I have had a working 24/7, owner-slave relationship, for over 6.5 years now.

Its a matter of finding a good compatible partner, both making a committment to work on the relationship and both not attempting to fulfill anyone else's idea of what is 24/7 other than their own.



< Message edited by thetammyjo -- 4/21/2006 5:27:31 AM >

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Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

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RE: 24/7 D/s relationships - 4/21/2006 8:46:35 AM   
LadyMorgynn


Posts: 800
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: N. Carolina
Status: offline 		I feel a little puzzled... as if you thought feelings were NOT involved!  I know many people in 24/7 D/s relationships, and in not one instances where those involved not completely devoted to each other!  No matter how sadistic the Master or Mistress, no matter how humble or masocistic the slave.  At the end of the day, they are together because they suit each other.

That has been my personal observation.  YMMV.

Personally, I would not want a slave who did not love Me and wish to the depths of his soul to please Me.  I would not have a slave whom I did not love and treasure, whom I would not stand in the way of a bullet to protect.  It's all about feelings!

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressTina66
Do 24/7  D/s relationships really work? What about if feelings are involved?


< Message edited by LadyMorgynn -- 4/21/2006 8:49:01 AM >

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RE: 24/7 D/s relationships - 4/21/2006 9:23:04 AM   
FLsubmalecd


Posts: 143
Status: offline 		I just want to thank the Dommes that have posted an opinion on this topic so far. Wow! There really is hope in my someday finding a Domme...a Woman that truly loves and adores Her sub or slave.
I as a sub would have it no other way. I am not here looking for play. I am here looking for exactly what the title of this thread is all about. I had it for awhile even though it was long distance and meetings way to far and inbetween. I had it good enough, long enough to know Iwillnever go back to a vanilla lifestyle and relationship with a woman.
I will be watching this thread for even more encouragement Ladies....Thank you. 

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RE: 24/7 D/s relationships - 4/21/2006 9:35:03 AM   
slavekal


Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline 		They can work.  I've been there.  Roles, duties, expectations have to be clearly defined and consistently applied.  But there is the danger of familiarity breeding a lack of contempt.  Normal, vanilla (boring) ways can easily creep in if you are not careful. 

(in reply to Real0ne)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: 24/7 D/s relationships - 4/21/2006 9:36:42 AM   
LadyMorgynn


Posts: 800
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: N. Carolina
Status: offline 		If this lifestyle really touches your core... you can never go back to vanilla.  At least, you can... but there will always be a kind of gaping hole left unfulfilled.  I think for me part of it is the intensity, because in dominating and submitting we plumb the depths of our emotional wells.  We don't give just part of ourselves, we give all.  With the honesty and communication necessary to make a D/s relationship of most kinds work, and much more so the 24/7, we fly higher than the vanilla.  We bottom out lower, too, of course, but by God, we know we've been at the very top!  And we're alwasy going to be striving to get there again.

quote:

ORIGINAL: FLsubmalecd
I had it for awhile even though it was long distance and meetings way to far and inbetween. I had it good enough, long enough to know Iwillnever go back to a vanilla lifestyle and relationship with a woman.


_____________________________

---
Lady Morgynn
www.farhorizons.net/LadyMorgynn

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RE: 24/7 D/s relationships - 4/21/2006 9:58:31 AM   
MissZaffy


Posts: 23
Joined: 4/27/2005
Status: offline 		Having only experienced visiting fleeting submissives in reality, I now wonder if 24/7 is what I would desire. I know a devoted, adoring caring submissive in my life would bring me massive satisfaction. But I am unsure of how to draw the d/s from scening out into everyday life. I have read from lifestyle Dommes that it is important to establish rituals, a Mistress returning home is greeted by a kneeling submissive holding out his/her collar, to be re-collared and hugged with affection. A time to relax the Domme into sleeping mode. I suppose each home based domestic duty and each persons individual needs have to be assessed and guidelines discussed and implimented to make sure everything runs smoothly. It would be good to hear of other peoples experiences with regards to this.

Miss Zaffy

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Profile   Post #: 12
RE: 24/7 D/s relationships - 4/21/2006 11:07:50 AM   
BeeQueen


Posts: 73
Joined: 9/29/2005
Status: offline 		as u can see from the other answers...yes is can happen.
but only if both ppl get real, and dont have weird expectations or ideas of what 24/7 means.
it does NOT mean ur slave/sub has no voice/choise.
it does NOT mean that the dominant has no right to lean back on the sofa and relax in shorts .
it does NOT mean that the outer world will know about the realtion the 2 ppl have.
it does NOT mean that every other role u have to fill in RL is dropped.
i have a slave for 8 years now, we do not have sex, we r both professionals with income.
i do not expect him to crawl on his knees day and night. i do not expect him to give me all his money. i do not expect him to shut up if we disagree. he does not expect me to wear fetish gear all day and night.
but in the right settings he can live his submission out, knowing i will not abuse him or hurt him. and i know that im always the number 1 priority for him.
Bee

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RE: 24/7 D/s relationships - 4/27/2006 3:58:57 PM   
MsRachelxxx


Posts: 31
Joined: 3/25/2006
Status: offline 		A wonderful topic, soo appreciated and felt akin to LadyMorgynn's views, beautifully phrased!
i too think the relationship between a man and a woman create something quite different than between a woman and a woman or a man and a man.
i have had two Masters and two Mistress's, and as far as feeling most fulfilled, constant, secure, spiritually complete, i must say my Mistress's were without a doubt the greatest gifts for me in all regards. My experiences with my Masters were far more sexual and there were many times i felt adrift in the relationship or more used than any heartfelt connectedness, not all the time but certainly quite a bit more.
my first Master when i was twenty, i did love and adore in spite of being much more a sexual toy and household piece of jewelry or ornament to Him, i never ever felt i knew anything about him as a person.
Anyway, after all said and done, my life with my Mistresses has been so much more engaged and seldom ever any doubt about the relationship or the commitment. I think it is because we women do tend to truly take care of one another's needs under any circumstance, and we think more and express our feelings and emotions better, at least, that has been my experience, and please i do not mean to imply that Masters are in any way less that Mistress's. My personal choice is with Mistress's.

(in reply to BeeQueen)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: 24/7 D/s relationships - 4/27/2006 4:45:28 PM   
HouseofBear


Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/9/2005
Status: offline 		Personally, I would not want a someone collared to me that I did not care about and vice versa.  The love and caring are shown by each meeting the others needs, each in their own fashion, from that of dominance or of submission. 

Lady Ursa

(in reply to MsRachelxxx)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: 24/7 D/s relationships - 4/27/2006 7:36:09 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissZaffy

Having only experienced visiting fleeting submissives in reality, I now wonder if 24/7 is what I would desire. I know a devoted, adoring caring submissive in my life would bring me massive satisfaction. But I am unsure of how to draw the d/s from scening out into everyday life. I have read from lifestyle Dommes that it is important to establish rituals, a Mistress returning home is greeted by a kneeling submissive holding out his/her collar, to be re-collared and hugged with affection. A time to relax the Domme into sleeping mode. I suppose each home based domestic duty and each persons individual needs have to be assessed and guidelines discussed and implimented to make sure everything runs smoothly. It would be good to hear of other peoples experiences with regards to this.

Miss Zaffy


Like any 24/7 relationship, a 24/7 Ds relationship takes work from both people.

It will have its ups and downs, its highs and lows, it will fluctuate from hour to hour, week to week, year to year, etc.

For me, what works best is what feel natural and simple. I have my rituals and my rules but these are low protocol most of the time so that both of us can live Ds 24/7 with less stress and most individuality.

I've tried it with more rules and more rituals but find these limit and restrict me too much. If I feel like I can't be the complete me -- crazy silliness and cuteness and all of that -- then I can't feel dominant or even toppish let alone like an owner.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to MissZaffy)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: 24/7 D/s relationships - 5/12/2007 11:21:07 AM   
maledave7


Posts: 142
Joined: 8/4/2006
Status: offline 		I think they do work.  I feel that you need to be honest, upfront, and let the person know this is what you are seeking.  I feel you must put work into the relationship for it to last.  I do hope to find a dominant woman and have a loving relationship with her.  Though we might live and work together, I would always know that she is in charge. 

(in reply to MistressTina66)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: 24/7 D/s relationships - 5/12/2007 12:38:44 PM   
MsKatHouston


Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline 		As others have stated, they work.  Expectations should be discussed and everyone needs to be realistic.  I don't know anyone who lives in a castle with a dungeon where the slaves are walking around in full fetish attire 24/7 and the Mistress has nothing else to do all day than beat her stable of submissives.  Real life exists with work, ums, bills, etc.  Mostly, to anyone on the outside it looks fairly vanilla with my boy seeming to be very attentive.  We have time for play and time to enjoy one another and various little rituals.  As long as everyone communicates and has realistic expectttions, yes it can work.  Regardless of what we are doing and who we are with the D/s is always an ongoing undertone even if we are not overtly participating in any particular act.

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

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Profile   Post #: 18
RE: 24/7 D/s relationships - 5/12/2007 8:33:03 PM   
MistressDolly


Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressTina66

Do 24/7  D/s relationships really work?

What about if feelings are involved?

Yes, in my experience it is feasible for D/s relationships to work.  Not only is it important for both people to be clear in their expectations, they both have to be sure it's what they truly want; theoretically they may want this type of relationship but in reality they may not be able to handle it.   

Usually love (romantic or otherwise) is involved, but not always. 

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m y s p a c e


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Profile   Post #: 19
RE: 24/7 D/s relationships - 5/13/2007 3:22:44 AM   
MaamJay


Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline 		If feelings weren't involved ... why bother?

I resonate with so many of the answers here ... it can work as long as the couple define for themselves what 24/7 means to them. Some like more rituals, some like less. As a Dominant, I like more rituals than my slave side does LOL ... so i am lucky that Master is not particularly big on rituals. Whereas My slave (assuming he makes it here this week at last!) will find Me requiring more rituals of him. But it is so important that the Dominant still be seen that way no matter what clothes they are wearing, whether they are waving a flogger ... or mucking about doing silly walks on the travelator in the shopping mall LOL! Master is such a wag and i love that about Him! Ultimately for me it comes down to enjoying each other's company and building a true relationship.

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

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