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another etiquette question - 9/24/2004 10:42:39 AM

LadyAisling

Posts: 2
Joined: 9/24/2004
Status: offline

My slave is allowed to make profiles for herself on various bdsm boards that hse comes across. of course, she lets me know, so that I can ennjoy reading them and learn from them as well. However, upon making a profile on this page, she was immediately bombarded with offers and proposals, including one from a married couple offering her a contract!

now, her profile clearly states that she is OWNED. and happily so.

is this common on this board? Because frankly I find it to be quite beyond rudeness. I would certainly never even greet anothers slave without first asking permission of the owner n real life. I understand the urles are relaxed in an online setting, but I would certainly never attemp to obtain ownership of anothers property without talking to the current owner, and indeed, talking to the slave as well. this contact was sent with no other explanation, or prior contact.
I really dont know whether to be insulted, or highly amused at the affrontery and outrageousness of it all.

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RE: another etiquette question - 9/24/2004 10:58:16 AM

Suleiman

Posts: 1127
Joined: 9/9/2004
Status: offline

Based on dozens of other discussion threads on this board, I must sadly inform you that such behavior is all too common. Please keep in mind that collarme has a rightful claim to being one of the largest online BDSM communities currently active. There are over 50,000 registered users. Keeping in mind that perhaps ten percent are idiots who use the famed "shotgun approach" to getting what they've fantasized about, each and every sub (or attractive lady who has posted a pic) will be inundated with hundreds of emails from people who are apparantly functionally illiterate and socially moronic. I do apologize for the idiocy of others. Please do not judge the remaining 45000 by the actions of the inconsiderate minority.

_____________________________

Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

(in reply to LadyAisling)

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RE: another etiquette question - 9/24/2004 11:28:57 AM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

is this common on this board? Because frankly I find it to be quite beyond rudeness. I would certainly never even greet anothers slave without first asking permission of the owner n real life. I understand the urles are relaxed in an online setting, but I would certainly never attemp to obtain ownership of anothers property without talking to the current owner, and indeed, talking to the slave as well. this contact was sent with no other explanation, or prior contact.

I believe this is common on this board. Every other board everywhere. Also indeed it is also more than prevalent in real life as well. Some people are slimeballs it's that simple. Nothing is going to change who they are. We just have to learn to cope with them.

(in reply to LadyAisling)

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RE: another etiquette question - 9/24/2004 11:32:58 AM

kajiranecantha

Posts: 16
Joined: 9/21/2004
Status: offline

::looks up at Mistress:: Lady, it was quite upsetting, however girl thinks that perhaps this is common and she will ignore it.

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necantha

"What are you? A slave girl" Assassins of gor.

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RE: another etiquette question - 9/24/2004 11:52:29 AM

Chaos

Posts: 30
Joined: 4/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAisling

My slave is allowed to make profiles for herself on various bdsm boards that hse comes across. of course, she lets me know, so that I can ennjoy reading them and learn from them as well. However, upon making a profile on this page, she was immediately bombarded with offers and proposals, including one from a married couple offering her a contract!

now, her profile clearly states that she is OWNED. and happily so.

is this common on this board? Because frankly I find it to be quite beyond rudeness. I would certainly never even greet anothers slave without first asking permission of the owner n real life. I understand the urles are relaxed in an online setting, but I would certainly never attemp to obtain ownership of anothers property without talking to the current owner, and indeed, talking to the slave as well. this contact was sent with no other explanation, or prior contact.
I really dont know whether to be insulted, or highly amused at the affrontery and outrageousness of it all.

It is common, it is rude, and I don't think many would object if you track them all down and beat them severely

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RE: another etiquette question - 9/24/2004 5:45:31 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

quote:

would certainly never even greet anothers slave without first asking permission of the owner n real life.

I must be an exception here. Most of the mail i get is very polite. Maybe it's my age lol. Here is a polite one i got today:

"Would hubby have any objection to you chatting with a male, new to this life style?"

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proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

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(in reply to LadyAisling)

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RE: another etiquette question - 9/24/2004 6:04:26 PM

LadyAisling

Posts: 2
Joined: 9/24/2004
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well, thank you all very much for your kind replies, I am coming to beleive that it is common, and have simply instrusted the girl to notify me of any similar messages that may make their way to her inbox.
also, the people in question have apologized after I sent them a scathing email, so I am somewhat molllified.

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RE: another etiquette question - 9/24/2004 7:24:04 PM

LadyBeckett

Posts: 865
Joined: 2/4/2004
From: Scotland/Tennessee
Status: offline

I believe your post came reasonably close to summing up the situation rather accurately ( give or take), Suleiman.

Having said that, I will say that there is a possibility that those who are approaching you via email may not be as dedicated to their lifestyle (claims) as you are, and therefore haven't developed the respect that would be demonstrated naturally, as a result. Although a pity, certainly, it is an unfortunate reality both online and in r/l. Welcome to the message boards. I do hope you'll stay with us.

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Lady Beckett

_______________________________________________

"Submissive boys yearn to fall into their proper place, so the rest of their life will." ~ Lady Beckett

(in reply to Suleiman)

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RE: another etiquette question - 9/24/2004 11:27:02 PM

Estring

Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I have noticed the same problem with my slave's profile. She gets quite a few emails from men and women who seem to ignore the fact that she is owned by me. I find it amusing, as she is kneeling here at my feet and not going anywhere.

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RE: another etiquette question - 9/25/2004 12:02:22 AM

MasterSnowBeard

Posts: 28
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Near Seattle WA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAisling

My slave is allowed to make profiles for herself on various bdsm boards that hse comes across. of course, she lets me know, so that I can ennjoy reading them and learn from them as well. However, upon making a profile on this page, she was immediately bombarded with offers and proposals, including one from a married couple offering her a contract!

now, her profile clearly states that she is OWNED. and happily so.

is this common on this board? Because frankly I find it to be quite beyond rudeness. I would certainly never even greet anothers slave without first asking permission of the owner n real life. I understand the urles are relaxed in an online setting, but I would certainly never attemp to obtain ownership of anothers property without talking to the current owner, and indeed, talking to the slave as well. this contact was sent with no other explanation, or prior contact.
I really dont know whether to be insulted, or highly amused at the affrontery and outrageousness of it all.

I agree is is rude and disrespectful. This lifestyle is based on respect...
those who don't show respect are wanna be's in my book.
I have had the same thing happen to a submissive of mine as well...
and it clearly states she is owned as well.
For me, even if a submissive of another Dom or Domme emails Me...
I show respect and reply respectfully.
And say that your Master is a lucky Man or Lady...
I Myself am not into trying to run around and get someone else's sub.
As that would be dis-respectful.
And I would hope that O/others would show Me the same respect.
No matter wheither you are a Dom / Domme sub or slave
all need to have respect for each other... and other's property and loves.
And yes it does happen on every site that I have been on... not just here.
Namaste
Larry MasterSnowBeard

_____________________________

This lifestlye is base on respect... respect for A/all ..
Without respect there is nothing...

One should never question the power
of a Magickal Long Silver Haired Wizard

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RE: another etiquette question - 9/25/2004 10:58:10 AM

MrThorns

Posts: 919
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline

People email my slave fairly consistently. At first, I did get upset about some of the advances made by some of these HNGs. My slave's profile states, very clearly, that she is owned....and yet...she still get's these guys telling her about how much they would enjoy beating her ass. I would get upset as I saw it as a huge breech of protocol...or at the very least, a complete lack of courtesy.

Nowadays, I just chuckle. Her typical response to these emails is to thank them for the offer and to provide them with my email address so that they can ask me for permission to continue speaking with her. In four years, I have only received one email asking for permission. (To which I thanked him for his interest in my girl, thanked him for being courteous and respectful of our relationship, and that he has absolutely no chance of ever playing with her.)

~Thorns

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RE: another etiquette question - 9/25/2004 12:13:56 PM

NoCalOwner

Posts: 241
Status: offline

You will find, I think, that after an initial flood of mails, things will slow down a LOT. Many people seem to keep a close eye on the "new users" list, and mail them somewhat indiscriminately. My slave got more emails in the first day than in any week since. So hang in there, it won't stay as big of a problem as it is now.

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RE: another etiquette question - 9/26/2004 3:36:17 AM

MattyP

Posts: 20
Joined: 9/17/2004
Status: offline

I have just ended a year long relationship with a submissive in Toronto, and towards the end of it, she asked my permission to seek a Domme to train her, since I could not be there to give her that when I lived first in Montana, and then Washington, where I am now. I agreed, and she made a profile on this website, which clearly stated that she was owned and was only seeking Dommes.

Yet almost everyday she would come to me, frustrated and outraged by all the males who would PM her, saying everything from "hi" to "would you like to be my slave?" There were even a few PMs to her where the men told her to come to then because a long distance relationship was no good and that I was not worth it. I'm sure you can imagine my own outrage.

As was posted earlier, there will always be a good amount of idiots (or "trolls" as we call them in Yahoo Chat) who will PM anything that looks like a woman and hope that one of them will finally agree to fulfill fantasies that they are too lazy or egotistical to actually work for, like the rest of us.

I hope that you deal with it better than I did!

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RE: another etiquette question - 9/26/2004 8:21:31 AM

kiki blue

Posts: 315
Joined: 1/16/2004
From: Brisbane, Australia
Status: offline

I honestly don't see any point in getting upset by thoughtless emails, that's what the delete key is for. An important point to remember that asking isn't taking, and if your relationship is secure, then emails such as those should be nothing more than a minor annoyance at most, amusing at best.

Wherever you go in life, you will find people who are either uneducated about social etiquette for whatever situation you are in, and you'll find those who are ignorant of it - those are two different things. The ignorant ones don't care, the uneducated will often apologise and meet the mark afterwards.

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