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RE: "Tasteful" Personals---what's your guide? - 8/20/2010 12:23:07 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline 		Fr

This is a tough one. I'd say overt discussion of sexual acts is out (hence no bukkake), and insulting/degrading language is out (no bitches or cumdumps).

The point is that everyone reading has the right (within reason) to not be offended-not just your intended audience. So while that one special cumdump you're seeking in your personal ad might not mind being called a cumdump in the least, it's gonna bother other people and their feelings are just as valid as hers. Or something.

y/n?

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RE: "Tasteful" Personals---what's your guide? - 8/20/2010 12:24:03 PM   
praetorian1974


Posts: 47
Joined: 8/16/2010
Status: offline 		I'm still out on bukkake. Everytime I watch it I kind of get this excited nausea. But it can't be that bad, as I continue to say "Ok, just this once." Its not so much the fate of the poor woman that's getting plastered that gets me. It's the guys just randomly missing and shooting all over eachother. Ick.

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RE: "Tasteful" Personals---what's your guide? - 8/20/2010 12:30:21 PM   
thatsub


Posts: 176
Joined: 5/3/2010
Status: offline 		And to answer the original question of what would be my guide for a "good taste", it would be other posts in that particular group. They set the tone and show what moderators allow and what participants of the group regard as good taste. It would be hard to to exclusively use my internal "taste guide", since it will be different from those who own the group. Keeping everything as vanilla as possible probably will help, but then you might be considered an uptight outsider.

P.S. "Would my grandma say/do it if she secretly participated in bdsm?" - how about this test. lol


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RE: "Tasteful" Personals---what's your guide? - 8/20/2010 12:33:12 PM   
VaguelyCurious


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quote:

ORIGINAL: thatsub

"Would my grandma say/do it if she secretly participated in bdsm?" - how about this test. lol

Clearly you've never met my grandma. Her favourite insult (translated from the Arabic) was 'your sister's cunt!', and her second favourite was 'go shove your eye up his/her arse!'.

So this test would not work too well in my case.

(I am not making this up.)

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RE: "Tasteful" Personals---what's your guide? - 8/20/2010 12:36:07 PM   
thatsub


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quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious


quote:

ORIGINAL: thatsub

"Would my grandma say/do it if she secretly participated in bdsm?" - how about this test. lol

Clearly you've never met my grandma. Her favourite insult (translated from the Arabic) was 'your sister's cunt!', and her second favourite was 'go shove your eye up his/her arse!'.

So this test would not work too well in my case.

(I am not making this up.)

lol. that is funny

I kind knew I was setting myself up, but still thought it was relatively safe comparison.


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RE: "Tasteful" Personals---what's your guide? - 8/20/2010 12:43:07 PM   
praetorian1974


Posts: 47
Joined: 8/16/2010
Status: offline 		Great, now I've gone from visions of Bukkake to my grandmother in a Gag.

I need a shower.

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RE: "Tasteful" Personals---what's your guide? - 8/20/2010 12:46:36 PM   
VaguelyCurious


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quote:

ORIGINAL: praetorian1974

my grandmother in a Gag.


Ball or ring?

<pause>

Sorry, did I just make that image worse?

Whoops.




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RE: "Tasteful" Personals---what's your guide? - 8/20/2010 12:49:30 PM   
praetorian1974


Posts: 47
Joined: 8/16/2010
Status: offline 		Wow.... infinitely worse. I'd have to say ring though. Sexy grandma.

Hey, so can anybody tell me how to tell a real profile from a fake one? I apparently have a "bot" fetish.

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RE: "Tasteful" Personals---what's your guide? - 8/20/2010 12:52:40 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Tasteful means nothing specific. Saying I'm into bondage and have a fairly high sex drive as opposed to saying I want to be hogtied, a rope bra on my tits until they turn purple, have my pussy cropped, and have you suck my clit at least thirty minutes daily.

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RE: "Tasteful" Personals---what's your guide? - 8/20/2010 12:56:33 PM   
thatsub


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Tasteful means nothing specific. Saying I'm into bondage and have a fairly high sex drive as opposed to saying I want to be hogtied, a rope bra on my tits until they turn purple, have my pussy cropped, and have you suck my clit at least thirty minutes daily.

Wouldn't you agree that audience of those messages and results they will bring are different? How would you go about attracting the sorts of people you want that second message would bring and the kind of response it would get, but doing it more tastefully like in the first message? It's hard.


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RE: "Tasteful" Personals---what's your guide? - 8/20/2010 12:57:10 PM   
praetorian1974


Posts: 47
Joined: 8/16/2010
Status: offline 		Thanks for the erection Des.

I can see what you're saying.

It seems a though using a minimum of words leaves an air of mystery, as well. Sounds a little bit more attractive.

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RE: "Tasteful" Personals---what's your guide? - 8/20/2010 12:59:57 PM   
VaguelyCurious


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From: United Kingdom
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quote:

ORIGINAL: thatsub

How would you go about attracting the sorts of people you want that second message would bring and the kind of response it would get, but doing it more tastefully like in the first message? It's hard.

Perhaps you accept that if that's what you're after then LH's personals forum isn't the arena for you?

I mean, unless there's something major that I don't know, it's not like she has the monopoly on kinky adverts...

Or does she?

*cue spooky dun dun DUUUUUUH music*

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RE: "Tasteful" Personals---what's your guide? - 8/20/2010 1:12:49 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
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From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		dear LH,
We don't want tasteful personals...  we want persons that taste good. 

Just sayin'


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RE: "Tasteful" Personals---what's your guide? - 8/20/2010 1:15:50 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline 		Quit licking the screen, RS, you'll smear it!

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RE: "Tasteful" Personals---what's your guide? - 8/20/2010 5:59:32 PM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious


quote:

ORIGINAL: praetorian1974

my grandmother in a Gag.


Ball or ring?

<pause>

Sorry, did I just make that image worse?

Whoops.




I vote for bit. lol

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In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

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RE: "Tasteful" Personals---what's your guide? - 8/21/2010 5:55:35 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
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quote:

I'm still working on "cumdump". What amazing use of the English language.


Ahem, clears throat. Personally, I have always preferred the term cumdumpster, or jizz bag.
Though receptacle works equally well and may well fall within the boundaries of what some consider tasteful.
Laughs
Like so much of life, it's far less about what one says than how one goes about saying it.
I could be elegant and phrase the comment as Gentleman seeks fluid ewer for a limited period...but ya gotta admit, cumdumpster is far catchier and paints a much more vivid picture.



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RE: "Tasteful" Personals---what's your guide? - 8/22/2010 12:17:14 AM   
DommeKeliDallas


Posts: 311
Joined: 1/27/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I have an issue on that OTHER site, and I bringing it here to the folks I know.

I own a personals group. I don't have a ton of rules, but among them is that your post CANNOT be a trolling for sex post, and it must be in good taste.

This has created a whole skeleton of contention lately, for various reasons. I was asked just what IS "tasteful"?

Well? I know what I think, but how about you all? Any helpful hints or examples so I can explain to the yobbos what fails and what wins?

I do NOT care about what folks have in their profiles, just in the ads they post to my group. See post below.:_


Crabby old bat Hib

~~pls leave this here, mmkay? kthx mods!

Edited for clarity.

You are dealing with many different people, with many different interests.

It is YOUR group...and should be predicated upon your values.

If I had a group, I would tell the men to keep their penis' in their pants...unless it is juggling golf balls, no penetration shots...especially with 9 candles up their asses, and women... no gyno shots.

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RE: "Tasteful" Personals---what's your guide? - 8/22/2010 3:20:29 AM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		Ello! My take is this -

It's your group, so your rules apply, simple as that. You've gone to the trouble to set it up, you're giving up time to moderate it, so no-one gets to whine when you make a call about what you believe to be bad taste.

If you moderate consistently (and I have a feeling you will) people who subscribe to the group will value it for its quality - and everyone benefits - even the people who whined when you moderated their posts.

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RE: "Tasteful" Personals---what's your guide? - 8/22/2010 4:00:44 AM   
zenny


Posts: 275
Joined: 2/13/2008
Status: offline 		I skimmed a bit.

You may not want to lock yourself into one explanation. IMO, it would be prudent to say something along the lines of 'ask first but if you have to ask it probably isn't'. As crazyml pointed out so long as you're consistent it shouldn't be a problem.

If not, I go for the beauty is in the object beheld. Tasteful is that which is not uncouth and unacceptable in company one is not terribly familiar with. Like say... A party with a group you've only seem a hand full of times. Familiar but no overly so.

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RE: "Tasteful" Personals---what's your guide? - 8/22/2010 4:41:29 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

Ello! My take is this -

It's your group, so your rules apply, simple as that. You've gone to the trouble to set it up, you're giving up time to moderate it, so no-one gets to whine when you make a call about what you believe to be bad taste.

If you moderate consistently (and I have a feeling you will) people who subscribe to the group will value it for its quality - and everyone benefits - even the people who whined when you moderated their posts.


This.

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