RE: how important is adherence to your profile? (Full Version)

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LadyHugs -> RE: how important is adherence to your profile? (5/4/2006 4:39:54 PM)

Dear EbonyFtshGoddess, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
I think I can add my name/profile to the list of women approached by those who don't read my profile.
 
Sometimes, I do get very sweet notes, as to give appreciation for the qualities I transmit and that they do not qualify but, just to say their piece.
 
Most ugly ones are from ones who likes to jerk chains.  One guy from Wisconsin who claims to be able to relocate, was nothing but a player/gamer, to which quickly turn from potential to rubbish.  I've had some from California and New York like that as well.
 
But, I know it is very slim to finding someone who is serious so, I don't get my corset and lace panties in a wad.  I don't think some guys know how much hard work it takes to make a lifestyle relationship fly and maintain flight through the years.
 
Like a lot of the posts have covered, I get long lengthy notes of sexual conquests, their wants and needs and cock pictures, short cuts in spelling like "u" instead of typing the darn word out "you."  I think we're all subjected to "hit and run" contacts.  Only tag I want to play with such sorts is a "Safe word extractor" paddle on their fanny and send them crying home to their wife, girlfriend or blow up fantasy doll.  Such contacts make me even more appreciating gentle souls in approach with kind words or demeanors.
 
Like so many of you--men just wave their cock as a sex banner--and, have to listen to the dribble of their ways of "satisfying" will be such, that I won't have to seek again.  You'd think they were "SUPER SLAVE."  (NOT!!!)
 

Respectfully submitted,
 
Lady Hugs



MistressWolfen -> RE: how important is adherence to your profile? (5/4/2006 5:36:44 PM)

It is quite important to me, not imperative but definitely important. But as my profile is really only a reflection of some thoughts I do invite those I may be interested in to read my journal. If they can wade through that they deserve a bit of my time in chatting. *LOL* I have to say that for the most part initial contact is respectful and courteous, declination of their offer of service is graciously received. I think in my year on this site under this username I have had perhaps 3 really negative or disturbing messages. Knock on wood....but perhaps that is because I list my age as 99, my height as 4'5" and my weight as 450. That sorts the wankers out quickly! *chuckles*

*edited for really bad typing



LadyLupine -> RE: how important is adherence to your profile? (5/5/2006 8:29:34 AM)

My HNG radar goes off when I get email such as that..then delete. The submissive men I know would NEVER approach a Domina in this fashion.



GoddessDustyGold -> RE: how important is adherence to your profile? (5/5/2006 11:05:21 AM)

How important is adherence to My profile?
Important enough to know that if all notations of what I would like to see in an introductory email are ignored then I am not interested.  Flexible enough to know that if a sincere effort seems to be made, I will still respond.
I took time to write something somewhat detailed, to give a petitioner a good sense of what I am hoping for in a relationship. 
Yet, 99.9999% of the time, it is totally ignored.  I often write back to someone with a hint or two and an opportunity for a second chance.  I am amazed that I still get back little to nothing.  I am not sure if these submissives can't read, don't want to read, or just do not comprehend.  I have to take this as a "no match", because I would go crazy if I had to deal with someone who claims to be completely submissive and wanting to be a slave, but can't follow simple instructions and make a decent effort. I have to take this as an initial sign that My preferences and instructions would not be important.
Maybe I'm wrong, but I will have to take the hit if I lose out on a good one.
 



MistressSassy66 -> RE: how important is adherence to your profile? (5/5/2006 11:37:59 AM)

 
My favorite are the ones that say" I read your profile over and over and you are just
perfect for Me.Please let me be your slave 24/7,I currently live in Egypt but can relocate."

My profile clearly states I'm not looking for a 24/7 slave,I wont pick you up from the airport and you must live within 100 miles of Me.

I dont even reply to those emails.The ones that meet most of the criteria,I will at least chat with to see if it will work.



CuriousPuppy -> RE: how important is adherence to your profile? (5/5/2006 9:24:12 PM)

I stopped informing dominant types of typos I noticed in their profiles at some point when I noticed that most of them were deleted unread.  After getting a rather nasty letter about "not following their protocol" from a dominant when I pointed out a typo in their profile and wished them luck in finding what they were looking for, I simply moved on to avoiding people with overly demanding "requirements" for a first message... usually I just get tired of reading their checklist before even finishing their profile/journal.  The huge amount of red flags generally scattered through those profiles to indicate the author is only slightly different from the batshiat crazy type who gets upset when a submissive tells them "no I will not show up on your front doorstep wearing a blindfold without ever having met you" 5 minutes into a conversation doesn't usually help much with a desire to read the rest of their ego trip either.



Najakcharmer -> RE: how important is adherence to your profile? (5/5/2006 9:35:57 PM)

I'd say that the vast majority of people who mail me have not read my profile.  It used to be something like 90% of the mail I got was amazingly disgusting and made me want to a) wipe my screen with bleach and b) give up entirely on this site.  So I changed my main profile photo from the "Glamour Shots" one to an older photo of me in everyday beat-up clothes, no makeup, 40 lbs heavier than I am now.  With these changes, I'd say that a bit over half the folks who respond now to my, "Hey, let's be buddies, I'm looking primarily for friends" profile are actually responding to what is written in the profile and not just mailing a form letter with penis pictures to random femdommes. 






Bluebird -> RE: how important is adherence to your profile? (5/7/2006 12:38:30 AM)

If the sender paid a reasonable amount of attention to my profile, I do try to reply to thank them for that courtesy, even if I am not interested.  Most of the time the main thing they ignore is the "locals-only" requirement.  Some of the lines include: "I vacation in Las Vegas every year" or my favorite, "I have a friend who lives in Vegas" - these do not make you a local, they make you a (potential) tourist.  And while I (in my mind) thank them for coming to town and paying my taxes with their gambling dollars, I am not going to meet or otherwise interact with them!
 
On another issue, say you have spoken quite a bit online, and now have met in person.  But, the chemistry just is not there (or you feel the person misled you on a few key elements) and you decide to decline further interaction.  Have any of you had bad reactions when you sweetly say, it's just not going any further, thank you for the time you put into this?  I had one gentleman who would not accept my response and was pressing me for the "real reason" why.  How is this any different than a blind date where you shake hands and say, "Have a good life, I wish you the best." - should I feel bad for not going into the detailed (and probably ego-crushing) reasons why?  (I don't, but my Catholic guilt makes me wonder if I should!)
 
Bluebird



Elizabeth7777 -> RE: how important is adherence to your profile? (5/7/2006 3:30:23 PM)

I appreciate this thread and wonder if anyone has any simple advice for me.

While I set my profile up to be very clear that I wasn't "looking" , it doesn't surprise me to have received messages from male submissives anyway. (I did read these boards for a couple of weeks before signing up. :) )

I just don't know what to do with them.

The guy who sent me a funny message that included "Damn. You're 5' 10". That's intimidating, lol.", he made me laugh and it was easy to reparte' back. The CD who sent me a boilerplate message and quite a few drag photos, that was easy to delete. ::rolleyes::

What do I do with the one line "How are you today, Mistress?"

I have enough time in my day to be polite to someone who is reaching out for a little human contact...but without any indication that the sender has read my profile (leaving out the part where I am not his Mistress), is even responding politely to the one liners a good idea?

I don't mind taking the time to respond once...."Quite well. My husband just made me a fabulous dinner with Bleu Cheese burgers from the new Wegmanns that opened locally", ... but that's really more personal information than I care to share with someone who initiated communication with me, giving nothing of themselves personally in the overture.

Not overly innundated, but the messages are starting to pile up....

Elizabeth




LadyHugs -> RE: how important is adherence to your profile? (5/7/2006 4:13:46 PM)

Dear Elizabeth7777, Ladies and Gentlemen;

I think all ladies have a fashion and style to respond to unsolicited notes.

The lads that contact me, merely want a "on-line" domination exchange; chat conversations which of course wrecks any personal time; those who try to convince me I'm slave and kneel sorts and or, that they're slave wonders...err wonder slaves, and they want to prove it.

Some just don't know "etiquette," to which I find that the intention is of no harm but, it is what want-to-be dominant women demand of lads; etiquette lines are so blurry one really can't fault them.

But, the wonderful ones, are those lads who head the letter, that they read my profile, they know they don't qualify but, speak their comments and wish me well.
I have not been successfully matched but, I really have high expectations.

Respectfully submitted,
Lady Hugs




MisPandora -> RE: how important is adherence to your profile? (5/7/2006 6:10:11 PM)

Of course, it's important to me, as it is the first inkling I have that they either can or cannot (or will not) follow instructions.  But, here's the wash -- in tossing away one of these 'untrained replies',  you might be casting away a rather trainable subject.  Provided they fit my general age profile, I give them one additional chance to give me what I'm looking for.  If they don't, they're not considered and I move on.  I've learned judicious use of the delete button as well.



MisPandora -> RE: how important is adherence to your profile? (5/7/2006 6:13:11 PM)

Reply to those that inspire you; delete the rest.  You are under no obligation as a dominant woman to reply, simply because you have a profile.



MisPandora -> RE: how important is adherence to your profile? (5/7/2006 6:25:01 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: OedipusRexIt

Interestingly, being polite to someone when you tell them no thank you sometimes results in a pissy "you're not a Real Dom" reply.



It's funny.....I JUST deleted a reply to a 'no thanks' identical to this, except it called me a liar, fake and wannabe!



MisPandora -> RE: how important is adherence to your profile? (5/7/2006 6:31:21 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TeeGO
Just to add a comment on the flip side. Every new Domme that contacts me always comments on the profile.


I can completely understand why someone would comment on your profile.  You provide comprehensive information that makes it a pleasure to respond to -- you actually have things for a woman to discuss with you in return, and it's not all about the things you want done to you.  My deepest compliments.  Everyone could take a lesson from you!



Elizabeth7777 -> RE: how important is adherence to your profile? (5/9/2006 4:49:48 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHugs

Dear Elizabeth7777, Ladies and Gentlemen;

I think all ladies have a fashion and style to respond to unsolicited notes.

(snip)

Respectfully submitted,
Lady Hugs




Dear Lady Hugs,

I am late in saying "thank you for responding to me". If there's anybody on the board for whom I should pull out my best manners, it would be you. :)

The part of your response I quoted above gave me serious pause. I'm afraid I had been hoping for an easy line of someone else's I could copy and paste. Without such a crutch, I was left to ponder what my fashion and style as a "lady" should be ... a little bit of elbow grease, and I think I have it, refined, no doubt, as I go along.

Thank you,
Elizabeth



genvieve -> RE: how important is adherence to your profile? (5/25/2006 8:52:45 PM)

i am sorry to tell You, Miss...that we get it on our side of the spectrum as well.
 
In fact, just today, i received an email from a Dominant telling me that He will be demanding... well, basically scat from me...when it is definately set as one of my hard limits in my profile.
 
C'est la vie.  The sad fact of the matter is...the majority of people who post to others on this forum, never read the other's profile.  -gasp-  Shocking, i know... -smiles-



MisPandora -> RE: how important is adherence to your profile? (5/26/2006 3:34:09 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Elizabeth7777

What do I do with the one line "How are you today, Mistress?"



Quite simple: DELETE them.



zumala -> RE: how important is adherence to your profile? (5/26/2006 7:23:32 PM)

I suppose I should add another journal entry to clarify that I don't respond to one-liners, either.  I certainly get enough of them.  I got one today from someone who introduced himself by saying: "Hi, you're pretty.  I am a romantic dom.  Would you like to chat?"
 
Now... If my profile says I'm MARRIED, what on EARTH makes anyone think I'm looking for romance?  My profile says friends and Dom/Dom couples only.
 
But anyway...  I typically just respond to one-liners with one-liners, and on occasion the delete button.  I'm never rude, but I don't encourage them either.
 
zuma



LadyAlexa -> RE: how important is adherence to your profile? (5/27/2006 2:12:00 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: EbonyFtshGoddess

but a question to the Dominas..

how many emails do you receive that TOTALLY do NOT read your profile before responding? and why do you think they would approach someone they supposedly wish to serve yet do not adhere to any protocol outlined in her profile?




Some days I lose count.  Why don't they want to impress us instead of making our lives miserable?  Are they that hard up? So why would we want them?  Some are wanndoyous...they think once they are in your mail box they have you.  Others just send out so many emails they figure the law of averages is for them.     In my own profile, I state having a sub, wanting others, expecting a sub to know they will be around other subs.  I dont' expect them to be bi or gay, to sexually interact with other subs, and I dont' want to be served orally.   shrug       Possibly they just can't read?   LOL



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