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Sadism in you - 8/23/2010 3:24:26 PM   
Steponme73


Posts: 552
Joined: 11/9/2007
Status: offline 		The broad definition of sadism is "getting sexual gratification out of inflicting pain and suffering on others". Does it make any difference to you whether it is male or female? Even if you are a straight female dominant, would you get pleasure out of inflicting pain on a female sub? It seems to me that a true sadist would not care who it was or what it was, just that someone or something was suffering at their hands. Am I right or wrong?
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RE: Sadism in you - 8/23/2010 3:49:29 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		In My case, you are right.  While I am straight, I do engage in S/m play with females.  The gender of the person that I'm playing with doesn't matter that much.  However, it stays play for play's sake and there is no sexual contact if I play with someone of the same gender.  If I'm going to inspire wanting to be sexually gratified, it has to be play with males.  All of the sadist buttons (enjoying bringing pain to a subject, etc) work the same with both genders, but actual sexual desires will only be present when I play with males.  Endorphin rushes and top space can happen for Me in either case.

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RE: Sadism in you - 8/23/2010 3:49:59 PM   
CynthiaWVirginia


Posts: 1915
Joined: 2/28/2010
From: West Virginia, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Steponme73

The broad definition of sadism is "getting sexual gratification out of inflicting pain and suffering on others". Does it make any difference to you whether it is male or female? Even if you are a straight female dominant, would you get pleasure out of inflicting pain on a female sub? It seems to me that a true sadist would not care who it was or what it was, just that someone or something was suffering at their hands. Am I right or wrong?

I have had no experiences with topping female subs.  I prefer males. 
 
It is sexual for me, and I am not sure I would ever want to do something that arousing with another woman.  
 
Even with males, I don't want cause someone to suffer...unless I WANT to make him suffer.  If I accidentally hit a man with my minivan and crunch some bones, and he is suffering while the ambulance comes, I would get no sadistic pleasure from his pain.  However, if someone is cringing away from me during CBT and comes back into position for me anyway, yessssssssssss I get "sexual gratifaction" from that.
 
I'm just not sure if flogging or whatever to a fem sub would be like...hitting her with my minivan or not, and I have no motivation to find out.

< Message edited by CynthiaWVirginia -- 8/23/2010 3:52:13 PM >

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RE: Sadism in you - 8/23/2010 4:27:48 PM   
Steponme73


Posts: 552
Joined: 11/9/2007
Status: offline 		Lady Pact is there a difference for you between the rush you get from infliciting pain on a male vs. a female. I see the point about the sexual gratification, but could you get pleasure from inflicting pain on a female then get satisfaction from a male?
That probably is too personal and might be considered wanker fod. You don't have to answer.
Ms. Cynthia, I would not expect you to get any sexual gratification out of running over a male with your minivan. LOL..unless of course you intended to! I guess in your situation, it is much more gender related. Thanks for answering.

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RE: Sadism in you - 8/23/2010 4:39:36 PM   
rideemwet


Posts: 93
Joined: 6/12/2009
Status: offline 		Why does sadism have to be "sexual gratification"?  If its non-sexual gratification its not sadistic?

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RE: Sadism in you - 8/23/2010 4:51:14 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Equal opportunity sadist here. Gender is not relevant to my enjoyment.

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RE: Sadism in you - 8/23/2010 5:01:45 PM   
Twoshoes


Posts: 1218
Joined: 7/27/2010
Status: offline 		Disclaimer: I'm definately born straight, since I cannot form romantic relationships with men. On the other hand, I am not opposed to pushing my own limits in terms of kissing/touching men. (I guess this is learned behaviour. I know alot of women who claim to bi, also don't want romantic relationships with women.)

I definately get the exact same kind of satisfication watching a man on the recieving end of mildly sadistic behaviour.

I haven't been sadistic to men in a SM sense, so I can't answer that part of your question. I'm assuming it would work though.

Actually, in my mild sadism seems to extend itself not only to women, men, but also to myself, which is why I push my own limits and test my resolve sometimes.

It's like: "If I flirt with/kiss this guy, am I going to be able to manage the uncomfortablenss? Let's see..."

Similiar to: "If I run this marathon, will I be able to push through the exhaustion?"

< Message edited by Twoshoes -- 8/23/2010 5:17:47 PM >

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RE: Sadism in you - 8/23/2010 5:54:50 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Steponme73

Lady Pact is there a difference for you between the rush you get from infliciting pain on a male vs. a female. I see the point about the sexual gratification, but could you get pleasure from inflicting pain on a female then get satisfaction from a male?
That probably is too personal and might be considered wanker fod. You don't have to answer.

The difference is that there is no sexual interest to start.  The 'hey this is turning Me on' element just isn't there.  (Not to say that it's always there with males, either.)  The best analogy that I have for you is foreplay that just doesn't work.  It's not sexually stimulating to Me if the bottom is female.

The rush itself (endorphin-wise) isn't really any different.  A lot of people who have watched Me play with women (heck, sometimes even the women themselves) would swear it was a sexual kind of energy between us.  That's not really what is happening.  It's just the normal connection between top and bottom.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Steponme73)
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RE: Sadism in you - 8/23/2010 6:02:26 PM   
Twoshoes


Posts: 1218
Joined: 7/27/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
The difference is that there is no sexual interest to start.  The 'hey this is turning Me on' element just isn't there.  (Not to say that it's always there with males, either.) 


I hadn't considered that.
It seems to work even if I'm not attracted to the person in question at all as long as I know they are willingly being mashocistic.

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RE: Sadism in you - 8/23/2010 6:18:03 PM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Steponme73

The broad definition of sadism is "getting sexual gratification out of inflicting pain and suffering on others". Does it make any difference to you whether it is male or female? Even if you are a straight female dominant, would you get pleasure out of inflicting pain on a female sub? It seems to me that a true sadist would not care who it was or what it was, just that someone or something was suffering at their hands. Am I right or wrong?

Not a Mistress but VC's trying to facilitate that it would seem.

Hurting someone can be both for me and separate at the same time depending on the situation. I enjoy hurting most anyone female or male again depending on the situation and the type of hurting that's going on.. but s/m is an intimate thing reserved for intimate times. In the latter case it's sexually gratifying if I am attracted to the female. If not attracted then I wouldn't want to waste the energy.

Never tried it with a guy. I wouldn't be interested in it because I'm not sexually drawn to men..I will however sock someone for kicks to watch the look on his face...Still sadism yet without the sex lol..A different kind of gratification

As for the last part..Even sadists can have preferences.


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RE: Sadism in you - 8/24/2010 7:56:46 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I can get my sadistic kicks out of hurting either gender. The differences are in HOW I want to hurt them and the emotional/sexual energy I will share with the alleged victim...

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Sadism in you - 8/24/2010 8:21:49 AM   
Steponme73


Posts: 552
Joined: 11/9/2007
Status: offline 		I guess by definition, if there is no sexual gratification from the act then technically it is not sadism....what do you think?

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RE: Sadism in you - 8/24/2010 8:36:17 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Per Websters, not all sadism entails sexual gratification.


Aka.......my panties do not have to get wet for me to enjoy watching a cocky male brought to tears.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Steponme73)
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RE: Sadism in you - 8/24/2010 8:38:18 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I'd say you are only looking at one definition of the word.  The broader definition of sadism is deriving pleasure from inflicting pain on another.  It isn't defined as only sexual.  It comes down to enjoyment of hurting others.

The same is true from the other side of the coin.  Masochism isn't always stimulating sexually.  There are folks out there who identify as masochists who aren't necessarily turned on by pain.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Steponme73)
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RE: Sadism in you - 8/24/2010 11:49:43 AM   
SaharahEve


Posts: 231
Joined: 6/25/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Steponme73

The broad definition of sadism is "getting sexual gratification out of inflicting pain and suffering on others". Does it make any difference to you whether it is male or female? Even if you are a straight female dominant, would you get pleasure out of inflicting pain on a female sub? It seems to me that a true sadist would not care who it was or what it was, just that someone or something was suffering at their hands. Am I right or wrong?


As it has already been said, there is sadism and then there is sexual sadism. A girl needn't be sexually aroused by cruelty to be a sadist, but if she is, I'd think her sexual preferences would have something to do with who she inflicts pain upon. It doesn't mean she can't be generally amused by putting a victim through his paces, though. I can be bent over laughing at someone's humiliation and pain, but that doesn't mean I'm sexually aroused.

As for sadism in general, your ending question doesn't have a one size fits all answer. For some, any warm body would do. For others (myself included), there are certain prerequisites, ideal personalities, ideal bodies, scenarios and so on, and that's because the pleasure is so psychologically—and physiologically—intimate. Just because we have certain tastes in order to bring out the dragon doesn't mean we're not "true sadists".

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RE: Sadism in you - 8/24/2010 5:08:13 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I'd say you are only looking at one definition of the word.  The broader definition of sadism is deriving pleasure from inflicting pain on another.  It isn't defined as only sexual.  It comes down to enjoyment of hurting others.


Just pondering that thesis . . . .

LP, if I see someone who's really concerned to be stiff, pompous and arrogant, and I take great pleasure in seeing them dissolve in laughter (so much so that they fart or wet themselves and thereby utterly ruin their composure) - does that make me a sadist, too?

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RE: Sadism in you - 8/24/2010 5:40:05 PM   
Steponme73


Posts: 552
Joined: 11/9/2007
Status: offline 		Good Point Lady Pact...
Peonforher. I don't think so. You are doing nothing more than toying with someone who thinks they are better than everyone else. There are pleasures in life that are not sadistic.

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RE: Sadism in you - 8/24/2010 5:43:34 PM   
wittynamehere


Posts: 759
Joined: 2/5/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Steponme73
sadism is "getting sexual gratification out of inflicting pain and suffering on others".
a true sadist would not care who it was or what it was, just that someone or something was suffering

I disagree. As you can see by your definition, it is a sexual act, and therefore is subject to the sadist's sexual preferences. Extending your logic, a straight dominant man should be just as likely to own a gay submissive man as anything else, because "a true dominant would not care who or what it was, just that someone or something was submitting". No.


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RE: Sadism in you - 8/24/2010 6:01:18 PM   
DivineFem


Posts: 10
Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline 		When my sadistic side locks onto someone, it is almost always a very attractive male. I have had a reaction to women, but they were beautiful beyond the norm and it's only happened once or twice. My interest in them was more wanting to destroy beauty, instead of leaving 'beautiful' marks on a perfect male body.

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RE: Sadism in you - 8/24/2010 7:39:34 PM   
DemonKia


Posts: 5521
Joined: 10/13/2007
From: Chico, Nor-Cali
Status: offline 		FR

My sadomasochistic desires are akin to, connected to, but also independent of, my sexual desires. It doesn't have a nice name like libido, but it's there, wanting to be fed. I get pleasure, general, from both receiving & giving certain kinds of painful or uncomfortable stimuli . . . .

It doesn't matter what gender has a masochist whom I'm servicing as a sadist top. But if it's gonna involve the sexxxy-sexxxy thang then I will need to be sexually attracted to the bottom, which, again, doesn't involve gender but does feature plenty of other factors . . . . .

< Message edited by DemonKia -- 8/24/2010 7:40:09 PM >

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