RE: Does anyone know of any other sites like this one? (Full Version)

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EastbourneCouple -> RE: Does anyone know of any other sites like this one? (8/25/2010 12:56:31 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
Oh yeah, did I mention the FetLife sux?  I fucking hate that place. It is a dating site, only they flirt in the forum threads instead of just surfing profiles.  Which means that 99% of the posts are useless drivel that defeat the purpose of the forum search engine. The site is jammed with online voyeurs trudging through forums looking for an excuse to post some drivel so their nude avatar will appear.  That whole site is just chock filled with people jerkin' their gerkins to avatars.  

. . . did I mention the FetLife sux? 


I am surprised you think that way about FetLife compared to CollarMe. Don't get me wrong, I love CollarMe but it is a dating site and FetLife is not. CollarMe is absolutely full of fakes, voyeurs and timewasters - as is every other online dating style site.

FetLife is more like Facebook - a social network, not designed for dating. Yes, of course there are people on there who spoil it, but you get that on any site.

The comments about the white on black are intriguing. As a professional website developer, I know that white on black is better for the eyes than black on white, it also makes the photos look better. A black website is also better for the environment as the screen uses less energy.

FetLife is by no means perfect, and I can think of several improvements which I would make, but it is constantly maintained, updated and improved - the only BDSM site I can think of which is.

I will take a look at Lifekink.

Another site I use is informedconsent.co.uk (a UK based site, difficult to navigate but a good userbase).




daddysliloneds -> RE: Does anyone know of any other sites like this one? (8/25/2010 1:17:55 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

Now that we established FetLife's software system sux, their black and white design causes eyestrain and is obnoxious, lets talk about the dozens of other free sites. 

Any RandomFreeBDSMsite.com has between 100 and 10,000 members.  In the beginning, the site is "seeded" by staff with fake accounts to make it appear active.  Often, questionable advertising techniques are used to trick people into visiting the site.  Eventually, one ofthese things happen.  The site doesn't generate enough advertising funds to maintain a staff and it fills with unmonitored spam, eventually closing.  Or it sits idle with nothing but year old posts in its forums.until it closes.  Or the spam traffic is high enough that the URL is sold to some unwitting sucker.  Or it developes a small specialized following and generates enough money to justify keeping the URL and hosting.  In this case, usually a small clique of a few thousand people make the site appear active.  These clique sites are usually local to an area of geography or biased to a particular sub-set of interest in the lifestyle i.e. castlerealm.com was a hetro D/s male dom/fem sub site or that German female supremacists site (sorry, forgot URL).  Both examples shunned all other lifestyle choices, were very limited, very biased and very small.  Their graphic designs may not have hurt my eyes with the black and white contrast, but their content hurt my mind with their black & white precepts.   

From my investigations, last year, Collarme.com had up to 80,000 new members monthly.   There is no other site like it.  That is why I donate what free services I can spare to their cause.  Even with that respectable volume of traffic in a very small niche market, it isn't huge in the overall web advertising market.  It won't attract CocaCola or AT&T at Collarme.com as advertisers.  No one around here is getting rich and in my estimation, this site just turns enough profit to pay some of the owner's bills which makes it worth their wild to keep it running.

So answering the OP in full detail, their aren't a lot of other free BDSM web sites and of those that do exist, none are even half as large or well maintained as Collarme.com.  It's hard to maintain a good web site with limited funds in a niche market.  I salute Collarme.com for doing such a great job with what they have.  I also praise the moderators that volunteer their time to maintain this place. 

Oh yeah, did I mention the FetLife sux?  I fucking hate that place. It is a dating site, only they flirt in the forum threads instead of just surfing profiles.  Which means that 99% of the posts are useless drivel that defeat the purpose of the forum search engine. The site is jammed with online voyeurs trudging through forums looking for an excuse to post some drivel so their nude avatar will appear.  That whole site is just chock filled with people jerkin' their gerkins to avatars.  

. . . did I mention the FetLife sux? 


fetlife does suck, big-time; you can't even tell when the last time someone was online, so you could possibly be e-mailing a person that hasn't been on it in years!!!!




Lockit -> RE: Does anyone know of any other sites like this one? (8/25/2010 1:26:31 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: EastbourneCouple

The comments about the white on black are intriguing. As a professional website developer, I know that white on black is better for the eyes than black on white, it also makes the photos look better. A black website is also better for the environment as the screen uses less energy.



Funny I can read black on white all day and most the night and not have a problem, but fifteen minutes of white on black can send me to bed with a headache. When I see a web site or page that is a black background; I'm gone.




Aynne88 -> RE: Does anyone know of any other sites like this one? (8/25/2010 1:29:29 PM)



Me too hate it, and I have perfect vision. It's very straining on the eyes and it's jarring. Ugh. I won't even read it.




daddysliloneds -> RE: Does anyone know of any other sites like this one? (8/25/2010 1:31:01 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: EastbourneCouple

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
Oh yeah, did I mention the FetLife sux?  I fucking hate that place. It is a dating site, only they flirt in the forum threads instead of just surfing profiles.  Which means that 99% of the posts are useless drivel that defeat the purpose of the forum search engine. The site is jammed with online voyeurs trudging through forums looking for an excuse to post some drivel so their nude avatar will appear.  That whole site is just chock filled with people jerkin' their gerkins to avatars.  

. . . did I mention the FetLife sux? 


I am surprised you think that way about FetLife compared to CollarMe. Don't get me wrong, I love CollarMe but it is a dating site and FetLife is not. CollarMe is absolutely full of fakes, voyeurs and timewasters - as is every other online dating style site.

FetLife is more like Facebook - a social network, not designed for dating. Yes, of course there are people on there who spoil it, but you get that on any site.

The comments about the white on black are intriguing. As a professional website developer, I know that white on black is better for the eyes than black on white, it also makes the photos look better. A black website is also better for the environment as the screen uses less energy.

FetLife is by no means perfect, and I can think of several improvements which I would make, but it is constantly maintained, updated and improved - the only BDSM site I can think of which is.

I will take a look at Lifekink.

Another site I use is informedconsent.co.uk (a UK based site, difficult to navigate but a good userbase).


who says fetlife is not a dating site? i've dated people i met from there! are you the person who established the site and know something that i don't know?




stef -> RE: Does anyone know of any other sites like this one? (8/25/2010 1:41:43 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds

who says fetlife is not a dating site?

Fetlife does.  The fact that you dated someone from there does not change this.  If you dated someone you met on a train would that make it a Dating Train?

~stef




daddysliloneds -> RE: Does anyone know of any other sites like this one? (8/25/2010 2:03:22 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: stef

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds

who says fetlife is not a dating site?

Fetlife does.  The fact that you dated someone from there does not change this.  If you dated someone you met on a train would that make it a Dating Train?

~stef


nope, neither does the fact that someone defines themselves as a dominant/sub/slave/master etc. make them one; it's all in the interpretation/presentation.

i do have one good thing to say about that site though: there used to be a little box that you could check to see if any of your friends (people in your web-mail address book) were on the site; i checked it, and low and behold there came up a name i didn't recognize. soooooooooo, i clicked on that name and found the dominant that i was supposed to be in a monogomous relationship with, was there searching for others, unbeknownst to me...

after googling said name, i also found that he was on several sites, as a paying member, also announcing himself as single and looking...

to top it all off, everything in his profile that he described as not wanting, was referring to me...

i mailed him a photo copy of it in the us mail!

needless to say, from that day forward, we were single again, except this time, i knew it, instead of being the stand-by gal in case he couldn't find anyone better than me...

that's a fact, isn't that right ray?

a year or so later, and now we use each other in the friends with benefits department, knowingly!




DePubed -> RE: Does anyone know of any other sites like this one? (8/25/2010 2:09:33 PM)

well, for people who focus on spanking, www.spankthishookups.com or www.spankthis.com is good.
It is also totally free to join and to check out profiles and to place your own, and it has a 'live' almost chat quality to it.
Some women on it, but mostly guys.




roughleather -> RE: Does anyone know of any other sites like this one? (8/25/2010 2:13:19 PM)

 Tribe used to be the hangout place for the SF underground. Big Burning Man presence. Tribe was active and cool in its heyday. That's where you went to find underground events in SF.

Then Tribe tried to get "more corporate" and threw some of the more kinky stuff off.  This annoyed many of the regulars. Some people from Tribe formed "free-association.net", with less censorship, but it never got much traffic. Fetlife is also a Tribe spinoff.

Tribe then tanked. They tried to go "Web 2.0" with a layout modeled on Myspace, botched it, and the most active tribe became "Tribe bug reports". The advertisers left, and they're down to two employees and few postings.




EastbourneCouple -> RE: Does anyone know of any other sites like this one? (8/25/2010 2:33:14 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: stef

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds

who says fetlife is not a dating site?

Fetlife does.  The fact that you dated someone from there does not change this.  If you dated someone you met on a train would that make it a Dating Train?

~stef



Well said!




EastbourneCouple -> RE: Does anyone know of any other sites like this one? (8/25/2010 2:37:22 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds

nope, neither does the fact that someone defines themselves as a dominant/sub/slave/master etc. make them one; it's all in the interpretation/presentation.



And FetLife presents itself as a social network, not a dating site! If you (mis)interpret that otherwise, then chances are you'll be disappointed by it.




daddysliloneds -> RE: Does anyone know of any other sites like this one? (8/25/2010 2:46:48 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: EastbourneCouple

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds

nope, neither does the fact that someone defines themselves as a dominant/sub/slave/master etc. make them one; it's all in the interpretation/presentation.



And FetLife presents itself as a social network, not a dating site! If you (mis)interpret that otherwise, then chances are you'll be disappointed by it.



it presents itself as both, regardless of what it says, just like many other things and people, but if you want to keep coming back to act like a self-righteous little puke, then by all means, do it; i stand by my words!




EastbourneCouple -> RE: Does anyone know of any other sites like this one? (8/25/2010 2:51:23 PM)

No need to get personal. I am giving my opinion, you are giving yours but I'm not insulting you because your opinion differs from mine.




ResidentSadist -> RE: Does anyone know of any other sites like this one? (8/25/2010 5:11:40 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit
Funny I can read black on white all day and most the night and not have a problem, but fifteen minutes of white on black can send me to bed with a headache. When I see a web site or page that is a black background; I'm gone.

If we had a date, I brought aspirin and was wearing black and white . . . would that get you into bed w/o a headache?




Fnordstrum -> RE: Does anyone know of any other sites like this one? (8/25/2010 5:14:11 PM)

Man, I don't get how anyone can dislike Fetlife's color scheme... Bright backgrounds are just painful to look at, dark backgrounds are far superior. (Seriously, how can anyone's eyes not start being burned out looking at a bright white screen all day. 0_o)

As far as Fetlife as a dating site, not having search, etc. -- If you're rating Fetlife as a site to search for people the way you can on colarme, then yes, it sucks. But it's also not trying to be that type of site... As a site with just a bunch of forums, for socializing/etc, it's pretty great... While having a collarme-like search would be pretty sweet, not having it just means it's not a great site for that purpose, not that it's not a great site in general. (And again... in general, it is a pretty great site.)

Fnord.

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤




ResidentSadist -> RE: Does anyone know of any other sites like this one? (8/25/2010 5:16:43 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: EastbourneCouple

And FetLife presents itself as a social network, not a dating site! If you (mis)interpret that otherwise, then chances are you'll be disappointed by it.

... but    ... but, it is used as a dating / online sex site and the forums are jerk fest no matter what the intent was.  Human nature prevails.  I don't surf profiles at FL and I still think it sux.   




jujubeeMB -> RE: Does anyone know of any other sites like this one? (8/25/2010 6:23:18 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: stef
If you dated someone you met on a train would that make it a Dating Train?


Ok, that just really cracked me up. I love when that happens. Thank you for the laugh [:)]




Lockit -> RE: Does anyone know of any other sites like this one? (8/25/2010 6:41:16 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit
Funny I can read black on white all day and most the night and not have a problem, but fifteen minutes of white on black can send me to bed with a headache. When I see a web site or page that is a black background; I'm gone.

If we had a date, I brought aspirin and was wearing black and white . . . would that get you into bed w/o a headache?



ROFL! There are some things you can handle with or without a headache! (I think bed activities help! lol) and (Reading is not one of them though.)




Fnordstrum -> RE: Does anyone know of any other sites like this one? (8/25/2010 7:09:03 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: stef

If you dated someone you met on a train would that make it a Dating Train?

~stef




Also, that is just hilarious. ^_^

(And a good point)

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤




ResidentSadist -> RE: Does anyone know of any other sites like this one? (8/25/2010 7:58:51 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: stef

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds

who says fetlife is not a dating site?

Fetlife does.  The fact that you dated someone from there does not change this.  If you dated someone you met on a train would that make it a Dating Train?

~stef


Seriously folks, there is nothing wrong with surfing amateur nude porn and jerking off.  If you like that, FetLIfe is the place to be.  But don't try to sell/tell me that that FetLife is somehow above the dating crowd and the high minded ideals make it the new FaceBook of BDSM world.  I would say that anyone fooled by FetLIfe's advertising propaganda is delusional or uninformed because they haven't actually tried to use all ill fated features of the site.  

FetLife started in Jan 2008.  Even I joined because all my sincere friends joined.  But now it is as full of posers as any other site.  Originally when the migration to Fet from AOL started, it was a core group of sincere people sick of the AOL bullshit.  However, that didn't last long.

I have seen a lot of online BDSM groups, dating back to our origins in gopher use groups when the net had no fancy graphics or user interfaces.  I have seen a lot of things come and go.  Hell, I was around when bondage.com was cool.  It had posts, email, links, info ... and dating.  It was nice enough.  Now none of that is free anymore.  As far as pay sites, at one time, for minute during the early LeChateau chat room days even AOL was a nice place stuffed with sincere people.  I even started a free BDSM site called LeChateau in the 90s.  

So ............ if that metaphoric train you speak of was owned by FetLife, I think everyone would be anonymously peeking in your compartment window and jerking off.  Those that did leave their compartments and socialize would be flirting, hooking up, dating or . . .  jerking off.  I wouldn't call that a dating train. 

All that being said, to the point of the OP, there are other sites.  They are small, they are cliquish and they are fleeting.  If that small site has a clique that interests you or is formed by a group in your geographic area, it may be a valuable treasure . . . unlike FetLIfe. 

Did I mention... FetLife sux ass?




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