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-=Don't Piss on the Electric Fence=-


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-=Don't Piss on the Electric Fence=- - 8/25/2010 12:48:39 PM   
ResidentSadist


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From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
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. . . and other good advice derived from embarrassing, unpleasant or bad experiences in the lifestyle.

For example, when giving a public needle demonstration, don't stick acupuncture needles in certain areas (the crook) of your slaves crotch while she is tied to a cross.  It may suddenly make her very dizzy and cause a fit of projectile vomiting . . . which is a rainbow demonstration, not needles.

There was private party with about 60 guests and an awesome buffet packed with great food and wine.  My girl had a full stomach when she hit the cross and we started.  I was answering some questions when I stuck a row of acupuncture needles in her crotch where it meets the thigh. . .  withing 60 seconds she was uncontrollably nauseous.  

Share your shame, got any good advice and/or stories?


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RE: -=Don't Piss on the Electric Fence=- - 8/25/2010 12:57:53 PM   
DivineFem


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I recently moved to my new place, but in my old house the rafters were exposed in the ceiling, making it easy to attach things to it, and I strung up a subby to have my way. I never really thought about where I'd set it up, until my mother knocked on my door when he was completely naked and starting to bleed a little from some scratching and biting. Turns out that I'd parked the set up right in the line of sight when you open the front door. I realized it before she got an eye full, but it was embarrassing to have to yell 'Just hold on Mom!' while I frantically untied him. He did the whole dramatic crumpling to the floor thing, since he was starting to space out, and I had to half drag him to the couch where she couldn't see him.

Mom's a really fantastic lady and understands about some of my interest. She's seen some of my fun-iture, but I'm glad she didn't see what I was actually doing. Lesson learned!

ETA : She learned a lesson that day, too. I told her I had company over, and from then on she called before just showing up!

< Message edited by DivineFem -- 8/25/2010 12:59:22 PM >

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RE: -=Don't Piss on the Electric Fence=- - 8/25/2010 1:25:19 PM   
daddysliloneds


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never, ever, ever, throw a flogger when there's a ceiling fan close by; the tied up sub won't be able to help you when the tails wrap around the fan and you fall on top of her with a dislocated shoulder

also, never, ever, ever, handcuff a sub to the ceramic shower bars or towel holder and proceed to tease her; tiles tend to pop out of the wall when she and everything in the shower bounce off the wall, tearing shower curtains, as well as badly bruising and possibly breaking some of said subs body parts

when sub says,' if you deep-throat me anymore i'll puke', believe her

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RE: -=Don't Piss on the Electric Fence=- - 8/25/2010 1:30:18 PM   
ScaryJello


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+1 to daddysliloneds about the deepthroat. That is an unpleasant surprise when it happens.

Also make sure the tens unit is fully plugged in when playing. It happened that I was using it and getting no visible response from the plug. So I kept turning it up since she seemed to be able to handle it. I noticed that it was loose, plugged it in and BOOM. She exploded. Well not really. She was fine, but I was red faced for a few days to say the least.

Also when attaching equipment to the ceiling, make sure you are fully in a stud and not on the edge of the stud. Demonstrating how securely it was fastened when...woops down I went.

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RE: -=Don't Piss on the Electric Fence=- - 8/25/2010 11:01:48 PM   
SubPet715


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Just posting here to say kudos to the ren and stimpy reference, it was whiz but it's in the same vein.

Lets see now for an embarrassing experience, I tried dislocating my jaw to get out of a ball gag, a momentary lapse in judgement with a pain that can only be topped by child birth.

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RE: -=Don't Piss on the Electric Fence=- - 8/26/2010 12:29:55 AM   
ResidentSadist


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Kudos for catching the Ren and Stimpy board game reference.   Glad to see I'm not the only fan.  

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RE: -=Don't Piss on the Electric Fence=- - 8/26/2010 12:32:58 AM   
SpiritedRadiance


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Make anyone who's going to tie you up take a sobriety test? that was one long trip... -shudders- Also make sure you pee... before being tied up...


< Message edited by SpiritedRadiance -- 8/26/2010 12:33:29 AM >

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RE: -=Don't Piss on the Electric Fence=- - 8/26/2010 12:50:26 AM   
ResidentSadist


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quote:

Also make sure you pee... before being tied up...

Perhaps the best universal advice ever.


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RE: -=Don't Piss on the Electric Fence=- - 8/26/2010 12:53:38 AM   
SpiritedRadiance


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All it takes is holding your bladder for 4 hours to head that.

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RE: -=Don't Piss on the Electric Fence=- - 8/26/2010 1:13:06 AM   
DommeKeliDallas


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When you have your mother over, don't allow her to answer your phone.

I was in the tub, and the phone rang.
She answered it.
The caller told my mother that he and his SO had been "very bad", and proceeded to tell her what they had done that was "bad" and why they should be punished.

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RE: -=Don't Piss on the Electric Fence=- - 8/26/2010 1:22:11 AM   
DommeKeliDallas


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When you are using a blow dart gun on a subbie's ass cheeks, you really don't have to blow that hard, because if you do, you could blow the dart through their scrotum and nail them to the wall by their scrotum.

Hey, he wanted me to...

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RE: -=Don't Piss on the Electric Fence=- - 8/26/2010 1:00:01 PM   
Pudicitia


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Ok so I am a bit of a pyrophobe (is that even a word) .. anyhow I am very skittish about fire play and any pain generated from heat or fire.

Guess who was volunteered to be a test dummy for someone learning how to use fire cups? Now I know that once it makes contact with flesh the fire actually goes out immediately and so any sensation of burning or heat is lost under the sweet pain of your favourite squishy bits being sucked into the cup. Knowing this I felt safe to experiment and hopefully take one more step towards beating my fear of fire.

So it was all going fine until no one noticed that the excess surgical spirit had dripped onto my breast and so when the still flaming fire cup was placed on my nipple (and should have created a vacuum snuffing out the flame inside the cup) the fire spread to encompass my entire right breast.

While I was not actually burned, marked or in anyway harmed by the unplanned breast fire extravaganza I did scream so loud that the circle of friends watching, coaching and generally offering help were all deafened and had to peel me off the ceiling. I was a juddering wreck. The top in question almost died of remorse and the emergency chocolate in the toy bag was employed for the first time in years.

When the hysteria died down I was able to admit I may have over reacted slightly.






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RE: -=Don't Piss on the Electric Fence=- - 9/13/2010 1:49:53 AM   
Silentrunner26


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Never piss on a barbed wire fence in a rain storm . True story happened to brother in-law. Car staled and he had to piss ran around bush while ankle deep in water . Started to pee and lightning hit fence on other side of pasture . People called the cops . They thought he was being butchered . Cop laughed so hard he slipped and fell in ditch . Been 18 yrs and he still can't take a piss while it is raining .

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RE: -=Don't Piss on the Electric Fence=- - 9/13/2010 7:23:35 AM   
juliaoceania


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My last dom almost caused me to throw up on him during a scene. It was the first time he had ever face slapped me, and I was blind folded. The room went sideways

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RE: -=Don't Piss on the Electric Fence=- - 9/13/2010 10:15:07 AM   
ResidentSadist


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Silentrunner26

Never piss on a barbed wire fence in a rain storm . True story happened to brother in-law. Car staled and he had to piss ran around bush while ankle deep in water . Started to pee and lightning hit fence on other side of pasture . People called the cops . They thought he was being butchered . Cop laughed so hard he slipped and fell in ditch . Been 18 yrs and he still can't take a piss while it is raining .

ROFLMAO
In Florida, we often have the equivalent to a monsoon.  I hope your brother in-law doesn't live here.



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RE: -=Don't Piss on the Electric Fence=- - 9/13/2010 10:33:09 AM   
LadyPact


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When in a public play space, walk in the room as though you were in a pool hall.  That means keep enough distance between you and the person that you are walking behind enough room to avoid contact with any implement that they might be using.  That means, don't walk directly behind someone who has just picked up a four foot whip and intends to use it.  The top is only going to glance over her shoulder every so often to see if the area behind her is clear.  If you're dumb enough to try to walk up behind her to see the scene up close and personal, don't be surprised when you get smacked with the whip.

Normally, clip loves telling that story, as he was the one who saw the 'space intruder' get nailed. 




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RE: -=Don't Piss on the Electric Fence=- - 9/25/2010 11:14:48 AM   
txurinal


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we are all human (even slaves) and stuff happens. once while being forced to suck a MASTER'S cock i choked and threw up on HIM. This taught me never to eat a large meal beforehand.

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RE: -=Don't Piss on the Electric Fence=- - 9/27/2010 11:33:14 AM   
Silentrunner26


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I would think it would teach your master just how far he can push

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RE: -=Don't Piss on the Electric Fence=- - 9/27/2010 11:50:38 AM   
Hillwilliam


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Be VERY careful where you do your public play.  There is a bar that I'm not allowed into any more.

Nuff Said

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RE: -=Don't Piss on the Electric Fence=- - 9/27/2010 12:08:28 PM   
LadyRian


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OMG, this is so funny! Good thing I'd finished my coffee, it'd be blasted all over my desk!




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