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CaringandReal -> RE: Being Your Slave (9/2/2010 4:38:49 AM)
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Although the majority of responses to this writing were entirely within the range of what I expected, I had hoped to see a little more variety. There was some variety, of course, (nods to certain posters) but not as much as I had wished for. It makes perfect sense that most of the people who responded would respond as they did. Most of the respondents seem "relatively" (in quotes because I cannot, of course, know anybody's true circumstances--I just see what they say about them in public) happy, settled, secure in relationships that do not try one in the same ways that the writer of the piece suggests he is tried. If I was in such circumstances, no, make that _when_ I was in such circumstances, I believe I reasoned similarly (although the writing still moved me emotionally and I refused to entirely nullify its impact with reason). Perhaps it moved me because I have something of an unbridled imagination. I can easily place myself in another's circumstances, and whether that placement is an accurate representation or not (I rather doubt it is in those cases I have have little direct experience with), it is certainly most detailed and vivid.
Someone in circumstances other than a happy, live-in (or at least too-contented-to-move-on) pair might view this sonnet quite differently, however. My circumstances are often strange, strange in that I see virtually nobody talking about similar things, anywhere I go. I've lived through one of the hardest things: losing a beloved master who was perfect for me, almost too perfect, in that being around him caused me to feel how undeserving I was every day I was with him. That led, later, to near-crippling low self esteem when I lost him. I had been with him a very long time and a bond built on so many years, like a blood vessel that's grown large and carries a great capacity, is a difficult thing to recover from when it breaks.
But there are plenty of other things, although not as hard as this, that are also quite difficult or as difficult to live through, many of which, although I haven't experienced and probably never will, I can still strongly empathize with. I think the sonnet writer is describing a very trying experience, and romantic as that poem is, rather than wallowing in sentiment, I expereince it as him giving himself a pep talk of the "suck it up!" (or "strap it on," as Steven King might say) variety. The writer is going through something not just a little hard but significantly hard and, when imagining what I might do under similar duress, I perceive him as trying to comfort himself by remembering the core reasons he's experiencing what he is experiencing. I see him as putting his priorities and experience into perspective precisely so he doesn't go wallowing in the "Oh, I'm so abused!" sentiment that seems to lurk so dangerously close to his actual thoughts. The purpose of such pep talks (I can speak with some experience here, I give them to myself in varying circumstances) is to remind oneself in hard times of the reasons you are undergoing the experiences and maybe the possible future good that may come of them. While there isn't any overt speech in that sonnet about possible good outcomes, I think there is one being implied and that is the idea that steadfastness is both its own reward (given the beneficial improvements one can experience from practicing it) and a practice that makes almost anything possible of achieving.
I have a vague memory of hearing this thing sung somewhere once. Yes indeed, someone turned this into a song! :D I remember not liking the musical version because it _did_ wallow in sentiment, in ways I think the author never intended for the words. ... Oh yes, 30 seconds on Youtube turned it up. This is a very confused song, IMO. (The musical metaphors are quite...mixed.) If you didn't like the sonnet already or were neutral to it, this little number may be enough to tip you over into hatred. ;)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0w27j2DzGLw
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