new dom needs help (not sure if this goes here)

new dom needs help (not sure if this goes here) (Full Version)

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Cathrope -> new dom needs help (not sure if this goes here) (8/27/2010 4:56:43 PM)
hello, my name is a Adam aka Cathrope, and not to sound like I'm whinning, but I'm finidng it hard to find any subs to talk to in Minnesota, so I was wondering if someone could check my profile and see what I'm doing wrong. Thank you

littleone35 -> RE: new dom needs help (not sure if this goes here) (8/27/2010 5:00:41 PM)
Greetings and welcome. You should list yourself as a switch according to your profile. Since you have a sub side. It would be good also to tell us more about you. Whay shoulsda woman submit to you. What makes you such a good catch? That is my take on your profile? Matt's littleone

DarkSteven -> RE: new dom needs help (not sure if this goes here) (8/27/2010 5:23:47 PM)
Any Domme will stop reading at this paragraph: "What I'm looking for: Some one to hang out with but is also interested in being a sub/slave." And all s types will stop here: "My Sub side. If i were to be a sub to you, I like being forced to wear nothing, but a diaper, being forced to use it, and be changed." When you say "Some one to hang out with but is also interested in being a sub/slave.", that's not really clear. It sounds like you want a girlfriend and some kink in the bedroom. Exactly what is it you want?

Cathrope -> RE: new dom needs help (not sure if this goes here) (8/27/2010 7:52:39 PM)
thanks you for your help and I'll be working on my profile

peppermint -> RE: new dom needs help (not sure if this goes here) (8/27/2010 7:57:08 PM)
The diaper thing is a specialized fetish. Yes, I do realize the diapers only come into the picture if you are subbing. However, a female submissive looking for a Dom might wander if you might order her to change your diaper. In your profile you really don't say what you are seeking. Do you want a LTR? Do you want a more casual occasional meet up? Anyway, your local munch is a better place to find a partner than online. At least you can be pretty sure those who you meet at a munch are into BDSM. Google your state and the word munch. You'll find several. That way you can wow her with your personality.

sublizzie -> RE: new dom needs help (not sure if this goes here) (8/27/2010 9:56:10 PM)
Most of the munches are in the Twin Cities but some meet on the weekends so it's not all that difficult to get to at least one. Getting involved in munches is a great way to get to know people. Volunteering to help with things works well too.

MistressTonya2u -> RE: new dom needs help (not sure if this goes here) (8/27/2010 10:33:47 PM)
you may also want to specify you are straight. *I read your journal comment: GRRR!!!! NO GUYS!!!! *

FetishRose -> RE: new dom needs help (not sure if this goes here) (8/28/2010 12:22:15 AM)
Here's my two cents, although I'm afraid it may come off a bit snarky. Bear with me...it's very late. Women are different than men. We react to things, especially written words, very differently. Whereas a man may find a laundry list of kinks attractive and titillating in a profile, a woman (usually) will not. Especially as a submissive woman, I am more interested in getting a sense of the person...are we compatible in other areas? What does he like to do (vanilla hobbies), what's his view on submission, ownership, and what are his goals and dreams for how he would like a D/s relationship to be. "If you want to be my sub/slave you'll be forced to wear nothing but a collar, walk on all fours, eat out of a dog dish, be put into a kennel, and go on walks on a leash."....This just makes me go ick...and I am not adverse to any of this on occassion, although someone who wants this 24/7 as it sounds like you'd like just screams fantasy to me. If instead you were to write: "I enjoy a variety of kinky pursuits. Some of my favorites include puppyplay, some ageplay, and restraints, and I always find the sight of my beautiful girl crawling naked towards me to be highly stimulating" or some such thing, I'm sure you'd have a lot more takers. Even though this is a kink site, you are still playing the dating game. We are still women. Impress us with your humor, your charm, your intellect, etc etc. If we like that, then we might care to know about your kinks. But broadsiding us with them just makes us roll our eyes.

Twoshoes -> RE: new dom needs help (not sure if this goes here) (8/28/2010 12:29:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FetishRose Here's my two cents, although I'm afraid it may come off a bit snarky. That wasn't that snarky... I informed someone they can't spell or punctuate in another thread! Good advice in your post.

dreamerdreaming -> RE: new dom needs help (not sure if this goes here) (8/28/2010 1:25:30 AM)
[sm=agree.gif][sm=goodpost.gif][sm=applause.gif][sm=applause.gif][sm=applause.gif][sm=applause.gif][sm=applause.gif]

DMFParadox -> RE: new dom needs help (not sure if this goes here) (8/28/2010 2:01:17 AM)
Read my profile. See if it gives you a few ideas. I've gotten some good responses from it. Your desires are different, but the conversational style ought to work a bit better for you than, as FetishRose put it, a laundry list. Don't start your profile by negging yourself. I know you're going for 'sweet and humble', but it comes across as insecure and possibly insincere.

wandersalone -> RE: new dom needs help (not sure if this goes here) (8/28/2010 11:40:32 AM)
I apologise if I sound harsh however your profile reads as if you are someone who has watched way too many porno's. You want a submissive who walks on all fours etc. Do you have any idea what this would do to someone's back if they are doing this constantly? Are you expecting them to be on a leash and on all fours when you are out in public? At the shops? going to the movies? In the car? Diapers as Peppermint said are a fetish that appeals to a small group of people. I do not think there would be a huge number of Domme's who would want to have a submissive wear and use a diaper continually. Again, would you be wearing just a diaper and nothing else all the time? Your profile is only talking about what you want - both as a dom or a sub. What about what you offer the other person as a dom or sub? Why should they talk with you? Talk about things about you that may interest others, not just the kinks that you want all the best :)

lizi -> RE: new dom needs help (not sure if this goes here) (8/28/2010 12:32:25 PM)
After reading your profile I was left feeling confused as to what you wanted. Under 'actively seeking' you have listed submissive women, but in your profile text you have listed a paragraph about your sub side. Most submissive women I know don't want to be with another sub. Maybe you'd be better looking for a switch? I don't know. Diapers appeal to a very select group of people, of course you should include that in your profile if it is important to you, but understand that there aren't as many women interested in that overall. I'd also agree with the others that said to try to nail down what you are looking for in a partner outside of the sex and fetishes. When I was looking and came across a profile that was strictly sex and/or fetishes I tossed it out asap. To me...life is more than just kink. I do like that your interest list gives a well rounded view of you as a person. One more thing, when you finalize what you want to say in the profile please check spelling, grammar, and capitalization. It matters. Good luck in your search.

peacefulplace -> RE: new dom needs help (not sure if this goes here) (8/28/2010 12:55:12 PM)
As other posters have written, a laundry list of what you like for kink can qualify as a turn off. If you are a switch, it creates a double whammy laundry list of kink. Speaking as someone who used to be looking, both on and offline, if someone seemed to care only about kinky sex in their profiles, I moved on immediately. When I describe myself to other people inside or outside the lifestyle, the first things I mention are my love of current events, literature, nature, and so on. Even though your profile lists some vanilla interests of yours, I would suggest replacing the lists of kinky interests with enthusiastic writing about why you like the other things you do. Most people cannot be kinky with someone they do not already like and respect as a regular ole person. Finally, anything that reflects a sense of humor usually gets 'em every time!

ResidentSadist -> RE: new dom needs help (not sure if this goes here) (8/28/2010 4:38:57 PM)
Dude, you don't list any human qualities that you seek or that you offer. You can hire a hooker to trot around nekked on all fours or change your diaper. Your profile sucks and has no depth, no humanity.... just a kink you want filled. Go to a dungeon and find a bottom with common interests or pay a ProDomme to get all switchy with you. You do not appear to be seeking a sub or a slave, those are relationship partner roles.

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