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Military Service - 8/29/2010 11:43:34 AM

Grlathrt

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Last new post for the day :D. But my question is, how helpful is military training in a M/s, D/s relationship. Is it a hinderance, is it helpful, or is it just not important???

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RE: Military Service - 8/29/2010 11:47:29 AM

LadyPact

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I'd say it's helpful in the discipline aspect. Beneficial if you look at it in the same mindset as chain of command. It can be of assistance if someone is interested in learning about leather protocols and such because you've already got a head start.

At the same time, not everyone with a commission is the best person to lead a command. It may or may not help with certain technical aspects in regards to S/m.

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RE: Military Service - 8/29/2010 11:48:02 AM

AquaticSub

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~Fast Reply~

I suppose it would depend on the people and desires involved. I don't think it could really be generalized. The only thoughts coming into mind are things like "well, a military person could be neater, more discplined, etc" but I know military folks whose homes are anything but tidy, don't have get self-control, etc. They were just a good fit for the military and I think that both owners and property can be that.

I can see advantages to it for both roles but I really think it would depend on the specific people.

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RE: Military Service - 8/29/2010 12:02:25 PM

littlewonder

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depends on the relationship dynamics. Could be helpful for some. Maybe not so helpful to others.

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RE: Military Service - 8/29/2010 12:02:47 PM

LadyPact

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It does depend on the specific people, Aqua. The ironic thing about it is that those who lean toward submission say that their military experience has assisted them in learning to obey. Those who lean toward Dominance say that it has assisted them in how to effectively command others. I think it has a lot to do with the mindset of the individual that you are dealing with.

As for "neat and tidy" that has more to do with the difference between 'private space' and 'military space'. The same type of discipline on a factor such as cleanliness isn't always transferred, unless there is a specific standard. When there's no sergeant overlooking the place, the standard gets lessened. If the same standard is in place, either by personal or other authority figure, it happens.

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RE: Military Service - 8/29/2010 12:07:35 PM

Grlathrt

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I wouldn't say learning how to obey but how to react when something is taken away. For instance when I was in Basic Training, we weren't allowed to call family and friends unless they told us we could, or that we couldn't listen to music.

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RE: Military Service - 8/29/2010 12:53:20 PM

Kapenakpua

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Speaking from the point of view of an NCO w/ "a few years", I dont see the mind-set of being in the military having influenced Me personally early in kapuas' and Mine realtionship. However when the M/s dynamic "came out of the closet" less than a year ago, the military mindset came into play and was there for me to reference in the application of what to do or how to handle some situations. I will say that I had a great deal of advice from members of this site(Thanks). SO all that said, I think it depends on the individual as to what they will or won't allow to control or influnce them.

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RE: Military Service - 8/29/2010 2:09:58 PM

DarkSteven

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I assume you mean having a history of service, not being active military. Being in the active military is a bitch for any relationship, including D/s. One Domme said that her sub male had the US as his primary Mistress and her as his secondary one.

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RE: Military Service - 8/29/2010 2:16:22 PM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Grlathrt

I wouldn't say learning how to obey but how to react when something is taken away. For instance when I was in Basic Training, we weren't allowed to call family and friends unless they told us we could, or that we couldn't listen to music.

It might help... but it might not.

Having something taken any by your superior officer is a lot different than having something taken away by your significant other, at least it would be for me. For one thing, the superior officer has their own rules that they have to abide by in terms of what and how much they can take away. Your owner doesn't, beyond what you agree on and even there he doesn't have an officer over him in your relationship. And they will screw up from time to time - I don't know if the military could prepare you for that. For the other, you don't have to share a living space with the superior officer so you do get time away from them when they are pissing you off.

But... I haven't served. I just grew up around it so... *shrugs*

Edited cause I was silly and put SO in twice with two different meanings... la la la la...

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 8/29/2010 2:19:09 PM >

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It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

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RE: Military Service - 8/29/2010 2:27:16 PM

Focus50

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Grlathrt

Last new post for the day :D. But my question is, how helpful is military training in a M/s, D/s relationship. Is it a hinderance, is it helpful, or is it just not important???

The military - where I'd hafta take orders and call lots of others "Sir" with it, including complete arseholes....????? Sounds waaaaay too submissive to me.

I respect the military and authority in general, but I could only ever sign up if my own country was in iminent danger of invasion - an "all hands on deck" crisis.... And since that's never happened and I'm getting pretty old anyway, the military and its methods have no importance to how I run my personal relationships. Except that the girl better not forget her "Sir"s....

Focus.

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RE: Military Service - 8/30/2010 8:24:41 AM

littleone35

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Master was in the Army in the past. He was the one who was called Sir which is why he does not want me to call him that, he says got way to much of that in the service. He is naturally dominant so i don't think his time in the Army made him any more so. So in our relationship it is not a factor.

Matt's littleone

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RE: Military Service - 8/30/2010 10:49:09 AM

ResidentSadist

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quote:

how helpful is military training in a M/s, D/s relationship

Learning discipline, how to obey orders and respect chain of command is very helpful. One of my fav slaves was military. Even army brats' second hand exposure means they come from homes with good discipline.

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RE: Military Service - 8/31/2010 12:36:01 AM

phoenixmoonn13

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master was in the military one of his known traits with the bosses was how he did things his way and tended to tell them what to do but he wasnt in the ordinary branch of the army.

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RE: Military Service - 8/31/2010 9:59:55 PM

came4U

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I guess doing military service likely hindered my ability to be submissive if I think about it. Most things don't bother me (as they should), perhaps it was the excess of different bootcamps that made me cold as ice and tough as nails. I should be a sissy, being a sissy just doesn't come easy., prolly never did. I kinda wish things that should freak me out, would freak me out.

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RE: Military Service - 9/2/2010 11:59:00 AM

Kapenakpua

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@DarkSteven, Yes I am still Active Duty!!

Many things are different for the people in my "situation", but with the great advice from LP and others I got thru the last 10 months just fine. Now that I'm home, I get to put in to practice all the reading knowledge I stored up....

As for Me being a submissive because I have to say "Sir" to a few people? I dont see it that way, it's a military courtsey, not a physical or psychological attempt to "sub" me.

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RE: Military Service - 9/2/2010 12:04:09 PM

zenny

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kapenakpua

I dont see it that way, it's a military courtsey, not a physical or psychological attempt to "sub" me.

While it is technically a courtesy it is also an effective psychological means to remind you of your place, your contract, and the punishment that awaits if you forget.

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RE: Military Service - 9/2/2010 12:15:05 PM

Kapenakpua

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quote:

ORIGINAL: zenny

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kapenakpua

I dont see it that way, it's a military courtsey, not a physical or psychological attempt to "sub" me.

While it is technically a courtesy it is also an effective psychological means to remind you of your place, your contract, and the punishment that awaits if you forget.

Only if I allow some Os-cifeer[sic] to try to tell me what my "place" is, and they may outrank me but they dont write my Evals, and I think it's totally hilirious, that some "kid" that's younger then my youngest tries to tell Me how to do my job. So as long as I can make the "Officers appointed over me" feel like theyre doing their job, good for me. Sorry for hijacking the thread

edited for spelling and grammer

< Message edited by Kapenakpua -- 9/2/2010 12:19:41 PM >

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RE: Military Service - 9/2/2010 12:21:54 PM

MdwstDom80

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

As for "neat and tidy" that has more to do with the difference between 'private space' and 'military space'. The same type of discipline on a factor such as cleanliness isn't always transferred, unless there is a specific standard. When there's no sergeant overlooking the place, the standard gets lessened. If the same standard is in place, either by personal or other authority figure, it happens.

Hence the term discipline. Doing the right thing when no one is looking. The military has definately taught me that, and the principles I've learned are helpful in my D/s relationships. I am able to communicate more clearly, stand by my principles, etc. I've always tried to instill a sense of discipline in a submissive, but now I know more about how to do that and why its important.

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RE: Military Service - 9/2/2010 1:03:29 PM

zenny

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OP, it all depends on the person. In my limited experience it tends to draw out what was already within the person.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kapenakpua

Only if I allow some Os-cifeer[sic] to try to tell me what my "place" is, and they may outrank me but they dont write my Evals, and I think it's totally hilirious, that some "kid" that's younger then my youngest tries to tell Me how to do my job. So as long as I can make the "Officers appointed over me" feel like theyre doing their job, good for me. Sorry for hijacking the thread

edited for spelling and grammer

Cognitive dissonance

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RE: Military Service - 9/6/2010 2:00:41 AM

Adelleda

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Although I'm not in the military, I'm in the cadet forces. I believe it has helped me with discipline and understanding the significance of orders and radi radi rah I could go on for a bit. But being the most senior cadet if I get to thinking about it, it is a little weird being called Master (my rank), although I'm not bothered by Ma'am.

The Sir thing, as aforementioned, is more a psychological and emotional thing when with a dominant, I don't associate it with cadets or with my job in the hospitality industry.

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