RE: Finding A Domme (Full Version)

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EbonyFtshGoddess -> RE: Finding A Domme (4/23/2006 8:11:41 PM)

crouchingtigress

quote:

I have never met another Domme that was in the bdsm lifestyle to find a grade A pussy eater.

I dont require it, but if I did, its something I could easily train you to do.


i sorta pass over people offering sexual servitude. i feel that should be something left up to the discretion of the mistress.. BUT ya can't blame him for putting it out there. the ones that advertise themselves as such sorta shoot themselves in the foot. we already know 9 times outta 10 the male wants to serve sexually- that's nearly a given.

if you wanted to use him like that it's just like you said, you could train him to do that. and chances are if he was a grade A pussy licker he was trained by someone else so he'd be a grade A pussy licker for HER and need to be re-trained anyway



joshslave111 -> RE: Finding A Domme (4/23/2006 9:12:05 PM)

OK...took off the oral woship line.
The thing is, even when i do meet a Domme in person it's difficult to attract her.  One Domme thought I was too "sweet and innocent" to be used by her, another said I was "too cute to be corrupted".
It seems...just like in the vanilla world...Dommes prefer the badboys to the good guys.




MistressLorelei -> RE: Finding A Domme (4/23/2006 9:46:40 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: joshslave111

OK...took off the oral woship line.
The thing is, even when i do meet a Domme in person it's difficult to attract her.  One Domme thought I was too "sweet and innocent" to be used by her, another said I was "too cute to be corrupted".
It seems...just like in the vanilla world...Dommes prefer the badboys to the good guys.




Not true...  Angelic looking with puppy dog eyes bound at My feet is more powerful to Me than  the badboy type.  My former submissive looked like an angel... I just smacked that side out of him.  <smiles> 

It takes time to find the right fit, there are many experiencing 'Domme withdrawal' out there.... be patient and good luck.



colosubseeking -> RE: Finding A Domme (4/23/2006 9:47:35 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: joshslave111

OK...took off the oral woship line.
The thing is, even when i do meet a Domme in person it's difficult to attract her.  One Domme thought I was too "sweet and innocent" to be used by her, another said I was "too cute to be corrupted".
It seems...just like in the vanilla world...Dommes prefer the badboys to the good guys.




Then go club some baby seals.



MistressLorelei -> RE: Finding A Domme (4/23/2006 9:53:21 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: colosubseeking


Then go club some baby seals.


No... but feel free to club the guys who are clubbing the baby seals. 



colosubseeking -> RE: Finding A Domme (4/23/2006 10:01:05 PM)

*Please note* In no way do i actually condone the clubbing of baby seals... only people who whine on the forums too much.



MistressLorelei -> RE: Finding A Domme (4/23/2006 10:12:11 PM)

We all whine... the whiners come here whining and the rest whine about the whining whiners... it's a vicious cycle.



colosubseeking -> RE: Finding A Domme (4/23/2006 10:16:07 PM)

i wasn't whining about the whiners... i was actually trying to make a joke.. two jokes, if you include the baby seals. But, apparently, it wasn't funny, so i'm gonna go hide in the corner now.



BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Finding A Domme (4/23/2006 10:29:05 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: joshslave111
OK...took off the oral woship line.
The thing is, even when i do meet a Domme in person it's difficult to attract her.  One Domme thought I was too "sweet and innocent" to be used by her, another said I was "too cute to be corrupted".
It seems...just like in the vanilla world...Dommes prefer the badboys to the good guys.
That isn't true Josh...
I hate to be the one to break this to you, but that line that you are too sweet to corrupt sounds like domme speak for "I simply don't find you attractive" or "you lack that certain je ne sais quoi that makes me want to shed my clothes."  The good news is that none of us is attractive to everyone, so you simply need to find the right mix of dominant/kinky/chemistry thing...  I'll be the first to admit it is much easier said than done, so good luck.      M



LoneGoddess -> RE: Finding A Domme (4/24/2006 12:14:26 AM)

Thanks to those who understood the point of my post. But clearly there's a bit of arrogance and ego in the way of his understanding. Time to let go of a smidgeon okay?
 
Dear boy, joshslave, let me put it this way, desperation is never pretty, it is never going to net you who you seek, in fact quite the opposite. I felt for you from your OP, and I know your frustration. We all have it to some degree. Posting it on the forums however, shows it to the rest of us.
 
You might want to consider yourself lucky that not everyone here blasted you for having your whiny moment. I didn't. I'd rather see you find Her. So edit your profile. [;)]
 
Trust me on this. And of course apology accepted. No worries.
LG~



LoneGoddess -> RE: Finding A Domme (4/24/2006 12:21:12 AM)

FLsubmalecd, I just come from a place where we critique each others profiles, I can't tell you how many times I've asked others to tear mine apart in the effort to perfect it, as well as one can in this element. It's never going to read absolutely perfect for everyone out there, that's a given. But finding a better way to attract who it is you are seeking, and catch that one person's attention is all that matters to me.
 
I'll have to pick yours apart another time, I have an early day ahead. Eek. And if anyone took offense, please note it wasn't my intent, I am simply honest and not about to beat about bushes in the process of conveying my take on things. I find it a waste of time. No offense meant to anyone.
 
LG~



FLsubmalecd -> RE: Finding A Domme (4/24/2006 8:11:28 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LoneGoddess

FLsubmalecd, I just come from a place where we critique each others profiles, I can't tell you how many times I've asked others to tear mine apart in the effort to perfect it, as well as one can in this element. It's never going to read absolutely perfect for everyone out there, that's a given. But finding a better way to attract who it is you are seeking, and catch that one person's attention is all that matters to me.
 
I'll have to pick yours apart another time, I have an early day ahead. Eek. And if anyone took offense, please note it wasn't my intent, I am simply honest and not about to beat about bushes in the process of conveying my take on things. I find it a waste of time. No offense meant to anyone.
 
LG~


Thank You very much LoneGoddess. I will look forward to Your honest opinion and any suggestions You may have, I really appreciate it Ma'am.



Cloudz -> RE: Finding A Domme (4/24/2006 9:30:24 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: joshslave111

i'm a decent looking guy, tall, well read, funny.  my only problem is that i'm picky.  i can't submit to just anyone.  Submission, like sex, needs to be with someone i'm attracted to and it's turning out to be an impossible task.


Ah, perhaps that is the problem...you see, Doms are picky too



EbonyFtshGoddess -> RE: Finding A Domme (4/24/2006 11:21:12 AM)

quote:

OK...took off the oral woship line.
The thing is, even when i do meet a Domme in person it's difficult to attract her. One Domme thought I was too "sweet and innocent" to be used by her, another said I was "too cute to be corrupted".
It seems...just like in the vanilla world...Dommes prefer the badboys to the good guys.


oh there is no such thing as someone TOO cute to torture. sorry.. in fact i get a sicker enjoyment out of torturing really adorable or innocent looking males. it inflames my sadistic side.

sort of like clubbing baby seals.. not that i condone clubbing baby seals [sm=crop.gif]

if someone feels they can't dominate you because you're adorable.. hmm.. i don't know what sort of way to take that. i've honestly never heard anyone say they've turned down an adorable or attractive slave.. and i've never heard of an adorable or attractive slave get turned down



sublace -> RE: Finding A Domme (4/24/2006 11:38:08 AM)

I have had a very difficult time finding a Domme to use me too.  It may just have to do with my area, but I don't know.  I want to be a sex slave, but I can't find anyone to use me as such or for anything else for that matter.  I could really use some help please.

sublace



thetammyjo -> RE: Finding A Domme (4/24/2006 12:03:12 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sublace

I have had a very difficult time finding a Domme to use me too. It may just have to do with my area, but I don't know. I want to be a sex slave, but I can't find anyone to use me as such or for anything else for that matter. I could really use some help please.

sublace


I'm going to make some reading suggestions that I hope folks will consider. Yes, I have read all these books and I've used them when I do training. However, a wouldbe slave can use them alone and get a lot out of them if you take the advice, exercises, and suggestions seriously.

"The New Bottoming Book" by Dossie Easton & Janet W. Hardy

"Training with Miss Abernathy" and "Miss Abernathy's Concise Slave Training Manual" both by Christina Abernathy

"The Compleat Slave" and "Becoming a Slave" both by Jack Rinella

"SlaveCraft" by a grateful slave with Guy Baldwin

The key message in all of these is how to make yourself "ready" to become a slave and then practical advice on both preparing for and finding that owner and then how to maintain your status once you are in a relationship.

Let me warn you that Rinella and Baldwin both will not pull punches. What they observe in their decades of experience may hit home and it may hurt but I know they hope their words and advice will help out.



MistressLlyoness -> RE: Finding A Domme (4/24/2006 12:26:56 PM)

TammyJo,
    I often find things in your posts that make me think.  Many times we share a point of view and there are times when your posts encourage looking at the topic from a point of view I had not considered.  Either way, they are good reading.
    Speaking of good reading, all the books on your list are on mine and are used by me extensively in training.  Especially someone who is brand-spanking new.  These books impart a great deal of wisdom and bear re-reading as one gains insight and experience.
    There have been several good suggestions made here.  I would suggest to any potential slave or submissive they begin to know their craft.  Having a Dominant is not necessary to learn how to do things a Dominant might find useful.  Having sex, in any form, is not difficult.  Nor is having great sex.  So set yourself apart from the rest by learning how to be a gourmet cook, or run a well organized house, or how to fix a car, or do plumbing, or how to set a table and serve dinner.  There are so many ways to serve a Dominant.  If all you are wanting is to be a sex slave, by all means say so but realize that you will be waiting and looking a longer time than if you want and need to serve in a different capacity.
    I pass over profiles that primarily focus on sex.  It is not all about the sex for me.  I want to look into a slave's eyes and see that look that says, "I will die for you, if that is what you desire.  The only thing that matters, the only thing that makes my spirit soar, is pleasing you.  Take everything about me and make it yours." 
    If someone emails me and it is evident they have read my profile, and paid attention to it, I am much more likely to respond positively.  As has been said before, intial contact should be more formal.  One-liners and immediate casual forms of address don't warrant anything more than a "Thank you for your email." response. 

Ms. Lynette



EbonyFtshGoddess -> RE: Finding A Domme (4/24/2006 2:32:02 PM)

sublace..

hmm.. i don't know if i can really help you on that too much. some dommes will use your talents sexually. it's ok to be upfront about what you would like to get out of a bdsm interaction. just an explicit mention of sex will turn someone off quickly.

just like i told joshslave.. try to find a bdsm play society.. not a munch, but a society with dungeonspace in your area that has like membership or something..





sublace -> RE: Finding A Domme (4/24/2006 2:41:09 PM)

Thank you for your advice EbonyFtshGoddess!  I think if I lived in a big city it would help alot.  I was trained by a couple, yet I can't even find another couple or a Male Dom for  that matter.  I've been looking for 3 years and someone as perfect as your to worship just don't come along everyday.

sublace



MsSonnetMarwood -> RE: Finding A Domme (4/24/2006 2:48:12 PM)

sublace,

Having read your profile...you will far more likely attract a male than a female.

Honestly, I read something like that, and I just click and close.  Hearing that someone wants to serve as a "sex slave" will basically make me snicker, shoot back "since when did slaves dictate how they serve?" and move on.

YOU may be willing to drop your panties to just anyone (the impression your profile gives), but most Dommes prefer to be picky and be with those that are picky.

Something to think about.



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