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porcelaine -> RE: Can A Dom And A Sub Just Be Friends? (9/30/2010 4:43:37 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Typhon1984
He's a nice guy. I've talked with him a little bit and we have a bit in common. If I didn't sense him as competition, we'd probably be friends. But he's still another Dom...
However, she told me that he thinks that she shouldn't be subject to me since I'm too new to the scene and that she needs someone who can train her proper.
Greetings Typhon,
Perhaps you should look at your question from a different perspective to shed light on the situation. If you were not involved in kink activities and the comments came from a well meaning male friend of hers how would you receive the remarks? A prudent partner would keep a watchful eye and make certain his companion was not negatively impacted by the other individual's presence. If you encounter continued instances of behavior that seeks to negate or undermine your authority it should be addressed appropriately. However, losing your cool and allowing the offensive party to incite anger will only validate his assessment of your inexperience. Therefore, be direct in your speech but do so without sacrificing your character in the process.
In addition, use the situation as an opportunity for growth and bonding between you and your submissive. This is an excellent teaching tool that can be applied to those within the lifestyle and outside of it. While you'll be implementing parameters, emphasize how the relationship benefits when both parties are mindful of outside distractions and potentially harmful entities that could erode what you're building. Also, be aware of your own feelings and insecurities and address them together. You can aid the other and allow the situation to strengthen your bond rather than place a wedge where none was intended. I wish you well.
Namaste,
~porcelaine
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