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Block - 8/30/2010 7:49:26 PM

perfectslave09

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Joined: 8/27/2010
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Thank you to all for all your advice and thanks to all of u i decided to block her. I have been very stupid and i was just wondering if anybody can give me some advice on how to find a real mistress in REAL life not just online

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RE: Block - 8/30/2010 7:51:27 PM

LadyHibiscus

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Are you in Chicago or something? There are two clubs that are nice, and I am sure there are munches. There is also a chapter of ClubFEM there, but the Headmistress was not terribly welcoming to me when I had a chapter and wanted to crossmarket, so I dunno.

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RE: Block - 8/30/2010 7:51:34 PM

LadyPact

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I already gave you that advice. Read the threads that you already started.

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RE: Block - 8/30/2010 7:54:50 PM

perfectslave09

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I already gave you that advice. Read the threads that you already started.

I know u did and I thank you for all your advice but I am also looking for other view points your advice is very helpful and i thank u for it

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RE: Block - 8/30/2010 7:56:02 PM

perfectslave09

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Are you in Chicago or something? There are two clubs that are nice, and I am sure there are munches. There is also a chapter of ClubFEM there, but the Headmistress was not terribly welcoming to me when I had a chapter and wanted to crossmarket, so I dunno.

actually i live closer to st louis

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RE: Block - 8/30/2010 7:56:48 PM

LadyHibiscus

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Not too many ways to say "Leave the house and go to an event" and "read some books like SM 101"

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RE: Block - 8/30/2010 7:57:53 PM

LadyHibiscus

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ST LOUIS???

You are a lucky young man, if you actually use common sense.

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RE: Block - 8/30/2010 8:01:10 PM

perfectslave09

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

ST LOUIS???

You are a lucky young man, if you actually use common sense.

Y is that? How can I find some good events. I tried looking online and having trouble finding some good ones with close dates

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RE: Block - 8/30/2010 8:03:49 PM

LadyHibiscus

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Beat Me In St Louis? EVERY freakin spring.

We are not going to do your research for you. Go to Fetlife, join the local groups, check Yahoogroups, RESEARCH!! I did this before the internet even existed, you have no idea how easy you have it.

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RE: Block - 8/30/2010 8:09:06 PM

perfectslave09

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Thank you for the website and i knew about beat me in st louis. but i was looking for closer dates and i dont expect everyone to do my research for me but i was hoping for sites like the one u just gave me thank u

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RE: Block - 8/30/2010 8:09:38 PM

SubPet715

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Beat Me In St Louis? EVERY freakin spring.

We are not going to do your research for you. Go to Fetlife, join the local groups, check Yahoogroups, RESEARCH!! I did this before the internet even existed, you have no idea how easy you have it.

BEFORE the internet...I can't imagine...I think my mind is blocking out the terrible possibilities *shudders*

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RE: Block - 8/30/2010 8:27:15 PM

LadyPact

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SubPet715
BEFORE the internet...I can't imagine...I think my mind is blocking out the terrible possibilities *shudders*

It's true. Back when dinosaurs roamed the earth, before there was TIVO or cars that parallel parked themselves, we used to have these things called 'phone lists' that people would use to call each other to let people know where the next munch was going to be held. We used to have these places called 'book stores' where you could order books recommended to you to so you could learn about BDSM. Plus, we would have these things called 'parties' where you could learn about dynamics and play techniques. We also had this thing called a patio, where kinky folks who weren't playing would gather around and talk about themselves and how they did their version of wiitwd.

A crude method perhaps. Though, I don't recall much talk of fakes, scammers, or whiners. Of course, a person was only as good as their word and there weren't many people who got collared and released all withint the same week. Can't say I remember much complaining about findommes or not being able to find kinky people.

Thank goodness technology has saved us!

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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: Block - 8/31/2010 2:09:35 AM

SubPet715

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: SubPet715
BEFORE the internet...I can't imagine...I think my mind is blocking out the terrible possibilities *shudders*

It's true. Back when dinosaurs roamed the earth, before there was TIVO or cars that parallel parked themselves, we used to have these things called 'phone lists' that people would use to call each other to let people know where the next munch was going to be held. We used to have these places called 'book stores' where you could order books recommended to you to so you could learn about BDSM. Plus, we would have these things called 'parties' where you could learn about dynamics and play techniques. We also had this thing called a patio, where kinky folks who weren't playing would gather around and talk about themselves and how they did their version of wiitwd.

A crude method perhaps. Though, I don't recall much talk of fakes, scammers, or whiners. Of course, a person was only as good as their word and there weren't many people who got collared and released all withint the same week. Can't say I remember much complaining about findommes or not being able to find kinky people.

Thank goodness technology has saved us!

That sounds like an interesting thread actually, bdsm life before the internet. A comparison made, which is better, et cetera, I don't make threads for fear something is already posted but it sounds like a nifty idea.

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RE: Block - 8/31/2010 4:05:37 AM

VaguelyCurious

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SubPet715

That sounds like an interesting thread actually, bdsm life before the internet.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_458311/tm.htm

LinksGuru!VC

ETA: I didn't actually realise it was from 2006. Somebody must have necroed it more recently.

< Message edited by VaguelyCurious -- 8/31/2010 4:06:49 AM >

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RE: Block - 8/31/2010 5:50:29 AM

SubPet715

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quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: SubPet715

That sounds like an interesting thread actually, bdsm life before the internet.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_458311/tm.htm

LinksGuru!VC

ETA: I didn't actually realise it was from 2006. Somebody must have necroed it more recently.

Ripping good read, thank you.

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RE: Block - 8/31/2010 7:51:18 AM

Twoshoes

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perfectslave09, I'm glad you're figuring it out.

From the "Before the internet" thread:

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha
In my age group, it was gothic/industrial as the emerging "dark cool" thing, and there were plenty of open minded youths happy to be tied up and engage in bondage games as an entrance into the 'lifestyle' -- whether they embraced it or considered it a fad for them would remain to be seen.

Well, that definately confirms my suspicions about the folks are/were into the whole industrial scene. Somehow their attire always reminds me of fetish wear.

But I think most of them are still in Germany.

Edit: I ended up feeling bad about the fact that I remotely thought of stereotyping people.

< Message edited by Twoshoes -- 8/31/2010 8:10:16 AM >

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RE: Block - 8/31/2010 8:03:18 AM

AAkasha

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quote:

ORIGINAL: perfectslave09

Thank you for the website and i knew about beat me in st louis. but i was looking for closer dates and i dont expect everyone to do my research for me but i was hoping for sites like the one u just gave me thank u

Your problem is impatience and desperation. You are totally shot out of a cannon. You "got collared" by some random lady (maybe man) on the Internet in under 24 hours in another thread and proclaimed you had found what you needed. Apparently that crashed and burned, probably after the person demanded cash.

Simply put, there is NO instant fix for your desperate need for BDSM and kink that is safe, other than forking over cash and going to a professional dungeon with a good reputation and paying a woman for S&M. All other BDSM encounters based on emotional intimacy and not money require some sort of courting period. The fact that you jumped right into something demonstrates you are not being selective. This is a huge turn off. You are also being impatient, which probably also makes you come across as pushy and/or horny.

I'm afraid you either need to settle down and accept that your search is going to take some time, and focus your energy on preparing yourself emotionally, or just go to a BDSM dungeon and pay a woman to fulfill your fantasies and see if it gets it out of your system. No discerning femdom is going to invest her time and energy into a man who is so impatient and unselective.

Akasha

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RE: Block - 8/31/2010 10:25:38 AM

asilentscream

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I'd add that it's probably advisable to make the search fun. Explore. Get to know people. Shoot the breeze and see what happens. I really think that finding a connection, even on collarme, isn't incredibly different than finding a connection in a more vanilla sense. That's the approach I take anyway. Specific kinky acts, even here, shouldn't be the focus of a relationship. That's the focus of a pro domme. And there's nothing wrong with that.

I really think that if you make the search too desperate and too important you'll just disappoint yourself.

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RE: Block - 9/1/2010 12:19:29 PM

FamilyofM

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Patience. Follow instructions if any are evident. I have a small instruction in my profile and I indicate that this will be used during my consideration process, those that do not adhere will not receive a response. Desperation comes across very clearly even on the internet. It is the kiss of death. Take your time, be selective as you deserve it. You are the one who will be giving a gift of submission, give that gift wisely. I did not view your profile, you do look rather young. Take your time and hopefully save yourself a lot of frustration. Good luck on your search, take it slowly.

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RE: Block - 9/1/2010 1:31:22 PM

dreamerdreaming

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What LadyPact said. We've already given you our best advice when you asked the first time. There's no magic bullet. Read the FAQ, follow the advice there and in the links there, and be patient. Don't take yourself too seriously. Explore, and have FUN!

Take time.

That's it- I'm out. If you don't go and read the Ask A Mistress FAQ and take it to heart, I can't help you. If you do read and follow that advice, you'll do fine. 'Nuff said.

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