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LadyPact -> RE: What does “sexual” mean in BDSM? (9/1/2010 6:43:27 AM)
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You actually asked two separate questions in your OP. First, you asked about S/m, which is sadism and masochism. Next, you asked about service, which isn't necessarily the play aspect of things. Depending on who you ask, you're going to get a wide range of answers to both of these.
Some people consider all S/m sexual. Whether they are a top or a bottom, they get at least a sexual energy or arousal from any kind of play that they do. This tends to be the most common reason that I've observed for folks who say that they don't involve themselves in casual play at all (they play only in a committed relationship) because it is sexual to them, even if they aren't having physical sex. Some people see it on the same level as foreplay. For others, S/m can be sexual, but it isn't necessarily always sexual. There are people who only see certain types of S/m as sexual or it's only sexual with certain tops or bottoms.
Service is a pretty broad term and not necessarily one that includes play activities. Service generally means that you are doing some type of work activity that directly benefits the Dominant so that person doesn't have to do it. (Personally, I don't consider bottoming a service.) It can be something such as maintaining the yard, house, or just other mundane chores that don't necessarily have any sexual vibe to them whatsoever. A lot of people don't get a sexual charge from doing the dishes, for example, but some people might. Service might include something like pedicures that someone specifically with a foot fetish will see as sexual. It really depends on the people and the activities involved. Some service arrangements are the person comes in, cleans the house in the Dominant's absence, and there is no interaction between them at all. Some include things like bathing the Dominant or giving them a massage. Best method, if someone is looking for a service submissive, ask what that service entails because people use the term for different arrangements. It may be as sexual as cleaning the catbox.
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