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Again what is a dom in regards to submissive women? - 4/22/2006 9:07:34 AM   
cillydom


Posts: 332
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		Again what is a dom in regards to submissive women?

A dom is a male that has sexual dominant tendencies with some kink thrown in.

He may be a jerk, he may be immature, he may be dumb as shit or he may be all of these. But he can still be a kinky sexual dom and come off sounding like mr wonderful. And he may fool a lot of subbies along the way because he will be able to talk the talk.

The dom that is most useful is one that is mature, has his dominance thought out and will care for his submissive.

Just an observation here.
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RE: Again what is a dom in regards to submissive women? - 4/22/2006 9:15:01 AM   
sweetbbwsub31


Posts: 331
Joined: 3/22/2006
Status: offline 		i can't help but agree that what makes a good Dom is plenty of maturity and experience. The younger Doms just don't get my attention even though i try to keep an open mind.

(in reply to cillydom)
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RE: Again what is a dom in regards to submissive women? - 4/22/2006 3:01:24 PM   
Tikkiee


Posts: 1099
Joined: 4/6/2006
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quote:

A dom is a male that has sexual dominant tendencies with some kink thrown in.

I have to ask.
Why would 'sexual tendencies' make one more dominant than another?

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RE: Again what is a dom in regards to submissive women? - 4/22/2006 3:06:18 PM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline 		In regards to relationship, I think a man appears dominant when he is totally comfortable with his masculinity..and yeah this can play out in his sex appeal ...so in that way, dominance does have a sexual aspect for me.

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RE: Again what is a dom in regards to submissive women? - 4/22/2006 3:16:22 PM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		I agree jali.  Dominance mostly has a sexual aspect for me too.  That may be because I choose to live a D/s lifestyle and, of course, sex enters into it...quite naturally.

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RE: Again what is a dom in regards to submissive women? - 4/22/2006 3:35:24 PM   
MstrTiger


Posts: 417
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From: UK
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Why would someone automatically assume that because a Dom is older they are more mature and experienced, they might have been virgins until they were 49 and only became interested in BDSM the weekend before a slave meets them. The only way you can truly tell if a Dom is right for you is by getting to know them. I don’t agree that someone who is immature, as dumb as shit or a jerk can talk the talk as you put it I am pretty sure that most slaves can spot people like that within only a few lines of conversation.

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RE: Again what is a dom in regards to submissive women? - 4/22/2006 3:35:26 PM   
Tikkiee


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quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali

In regards to relationship, I think a man appears dominant when he is totally comfortable with his masculinity..and yeah this can play out in his sex appeal ...so in that way, dominance does have a sexual aspect for me.

Thank you Ma'am. I guess, when I look at it that way, I can see why one would say that.

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RE: Again what is a dom in regards to submissive women? - 4/22/2006 3:39:31 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrTiger


Why would someone automatically assume that because a Dom is older they are more mature and experienced, they might have been virgins until they were 49 and only became interested in BDSM the weekend before a slave meets them. The only way you can truly tell if a Dom is right for you is by getting to know them. I don’t agree that someone who is immature, as dumb as shit or a jerk can talk the talk as you put it I am pretty sure that most slaves can spot people like that within only a few lines of conversation.


Perhaps she was not speaking of BDSM experience but life experience. I am attracted to older men or  men my own age, it is the way I am wired. It is not just a BDSM thing, but a life experience thing. A younger man is not going to understand parenting a teen, or getting passed up for a job because you are too old, or having your joints hurt in the morning. It isnt just the technique of whipping an ass or tying you up

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RE: Again what is a dom in regards to submissive women? - 4/22/2006 3:53:29 PM   
cillydom


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Status: offline 		thats not the question

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RE: Again what is a dom in regards to submissive women? - 4/22/2006 3:58:58 PM   
cillydom


Posts: 332
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		The question is for a d/s, m/s relationship what sorts of dominance work and what sorts do not.

Many men have dominant attributes that would be useless in a d/s relationship as regards a submissive woman. Just being assertive may not be enough.

The question is in which way is dominance an enhancement in d/s.

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RE: Again what is a dom in regards to submissive women? - 4/22/2006 4:00:01 PM   
cillydom


Posts: 332
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Status: offline 		i dont think there was a mention of age

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RE: Again what is a dom in regards to submissive women? - 4/22/2006 4:25:49 PM   
MstrTiger


Posts: 417
Joined: 1/14/2006
From: UK
Status: offline
Forgive me for automatically assuming that she would be referring to BDSM though given that this is a BDSM forum I think that was an acceptable mistake to make. I am also attracted to men older then me though I don’t assume that they are mature just on account of their age what I am saying is that you have to get to know someone first and not just look at their age and make conclusions about their experience, and that includes their life experience.

Sorry it was sort of diverted cillydom.

< Message edited by MstrTiger -- 4/22/2006 4:27:13 PM >

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RE: Again what is a dom in regards to submissive women? - 4/22/2006 6:47:04 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:



A dom is a male that has sexual dominant tendencies with some kink thrown in.



There are other definitions of dominant which are not gender/sex based. One can have authority in defined service roles which are power based, not sex based and be a woman and would still be considered a dominant.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to cillydom)
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RE: Again what is a dom in regards to submissive women? - 4/22/2006 7:06:41 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
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quote:

ORIGINAL: cillydom

...The question is in which way is dominance an enhancement in d/s.



more than just an enhancement--dominance is necessary to d/s otherwise it would just be s, with no d.

 
by the way, this slave doesn't consider Doms to be "useful".  washing machines, e-mail and good slaves are examples of things she would call useful.

(in reply to cillydom)
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RE: Again what is a dom in regards to submissive women? - 4/22/2006 7:28:23 PM   
starymists


Posts: 139
Joined: 2/1/2006
Status: offline 		In my world, it is fairly simple. Dominance, is using one's personality, skills and knowledge to take control...of himself *or herself*, his surroundings, and ultimately, his relationships. Age can play a factor in the skill of a Dominant, but then again, in terms of miles, I was old long before I hit 20, so to me, age doesn't really play a part in things.
 
As for how does it enhances D/s...I am a submissive...I need to give control to someone. If my partner isn't Dominant, he has not a clue what to do with what I'm giving to him. He doesn't know how to inspire me to move into areas I don't think I can reach on my own. He doesn't know how to do the million and one things that my Dominant knows how to do to me, for me and with me. It is my opinion that one can learn how to use a whip, or any number of other implements...but one can't learn how to be Dominant. And if there is no Dominance, there is no submission in my world. But thats just my own two cents.
 

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RE: Again what is a dom in regards to submissive women? - 4/22/2006 7:38:51 PM   
sweetbbwsub31


Posts: 331
Joined: 3/22/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrTiger


Why would someone automatically assume that because a Dom is older they are more mature and experienced, they might have been virgins until they were 49 and only became interested in BDSM the weekend before a slave meets them. The only way you can truly tell if a Dom is right for you is by getting to know them. I don’t agree that someone who is immature, as dumb as shit or a jerk can talk the talk as you put it I am pretty sure that most slaves can spot people like that within only a few lines of conversation.


Perhaps she was not speaking of BDSM experience but life experience. I am attracted to older men or  men my own age, it is the way I am wired. It is not just a BDSM thing, but a life experience thing. A younger man is not going to understand parenting a teen, or getting passed up for a job because you are too old, or having your joints hurt in the morning. It isnt just the technique of whipping an ass or tying you up


Actually, i was speaking of life experience. For me it is a maturity thing. As i stated i keep an open mind. It is entirely possible that i could run in to a Dom younger than myself who is mature enough to teach me a thing or two.
 
My apologies to the OP. i was just stating my preference and didn't mean to make the conversation go astray.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
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RE: Again what is a dom in regards to submissive women? - 4/23/2006 5:49:14 AM   
twicehappy


Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

ORIGINAL: cillydom

...The question is in which way is dominance an enhancement in d/s.

more than just an enhancement--dominance is necessary to d/s otherwise it would just be s, with no d.
 
by the way, this slave doesn't consider Doms to be "useful".  washing machines, e-mail and good slaves are examples of things she would call useful.


Great post! Without the dominance what would be the "D" in D/s?

And Beth i agree with you, i also answered this one in the thread "what kind of dominant do you find most useful". Appling the term useful to a Master seems disrespectful to me also. 

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RE: Again what is a dom in regards to submissive women? - 4/23/2006 11:03:07 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth



more than just an enhancement--dominance is necessary to d/s otherwise it would just be s, with no d.


 
by the way, this slave doesn't consider Doms to be "useful".  washing machines, e-mail and good slaves are examples of things she would call useful.

Great post.  I completely agree here.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
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RE: Again what is a dom in regards to submissive women? - 4/23/2006 12:58:52 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		Ok, so I went over and asked Himself..  "How useful are you?" He sort of stared at me then said.. "Go get me a diet coke then get back to your station."

Guess that answered that question. ::chuckles::

Celeste





_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


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RE: Again what is a dom in regards to submissive women? - 4/23/2006 1:05:32 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		Okay that made me burst out laughing, sitting here all by myself. 

Somehow I think I would receive the same answer...lol

(in reply to BitaTruble)
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