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Being unreasonable - 9/2/2010 8:54:35 AM   
shellywhite62


Posts: 8
Joined: 7/18/2010
Status: offline 		Started this post by telling my whole story and the reason i got in this situation but decided to just cut to the chase.

I started a relationship online with a Master with the knowledge that i would be moving to His area a month after we met online.  The promise was there, the chemistry was stronger than any other i've met and so when He asked me to get a ring on my clit for Him (at His expense), i did it.  (I do need to say, that piercings other than ears have always been a "hard limit" for me in the past.) 
Well, the relationship ended abruptly due to my lack of judgment two weeks before we were to be together.  (Yes, the relationship only lasted  3 weeks........sighs)
Now not only am i brokenhearted beyond belief, but i have this albatross on my clit. i've tried to take it out but i ended up with a sore clit. ugh  I'm really afraid of ripping the skin - big chicken here.  I did ask Him if He would remove it for me and at first He agreed but then decided that it wasn't up to Him.  

Am i being unreasonable if i pursue Him taking it out?  I really don't want anyone else to do it, besides Him or me, and since i can't seem to....

~laughs at self~  Cutting to the chase still took longer than i intended....
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Being unreasonable - 9/2/2010 9:02:48 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		why not go back to the place that did the piercing and ask if they'll remove it for you?

If you can't do it, and he's being an ass about it, then you don't really have much choice...

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk


(in reply to shellywhite62)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Being unreasonable - 9/2/2010 9:35:58 AM   
SubPet715


Posts: 337
Joined: 8/24/2010
From: Brooklyn, NY
Status: offline 		Yes things having soured so quickly is a real shame, my condolences.

As for that once someone has made up their mind all you are doing by pursuing an opposite outcome is making them more staunch in their decision.

_____________________________

Passion isn't really happiness.

(in reply to myotherself)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Being unreasonable - 9/2/2010 9:47:29 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Hijacking the thread a little... it was your first online relationship, and you moved quickly. Slow down.

_____________________________

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Being unreasonable - 9/2/2010 10:22:26 AM   
subsfaith


Posts: 297
Joined: 11/21/2006
Status: offline 		Yes you are being unreasonable... while it is something you want, clearly it isn't something he wants.

Any piercing place will be happy to remove it for you.  The alternative is to keep it and enjoy it.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Being unreasonable - 9/2/2010 10:27:12 AM   
shellywhite62


Posts: 8
Joined: 7/18/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Hijacking the thread a little... it was your first online relationship, and you moved quickly. Slow down.


Well, actually it wasn't.  First in several years, though.  The others, except for my very first, were pretty superficial in my "quest".  But, yes, I need to slow down.

In response to the other posts, SubPet, yes, I should just drop it and not make him any more firmly opposed to it.    Myotherself, I'm afraid I'll have to suck it up and go back to the sweet young gentleman who did the piercing, as humiliating as it will be. 

Thank you for the responses.  I sometimes get caught up in my head and don't always think clearly, which is why, after lurking in the different forums and reading as much as I could in the last several days, I decided to put myself out there and get advice. 

It is much appreciated


(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Being unreasonable - 9/2/2010 12:15:50 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I would ask why you have this in your signature line

quote:

BBW sub - been involved off and on in the lifestyle 7 years and still doesn't know what the heck she's doing....


We all make mistakes.... geesh, I ventured out after a long term relationship I was in ended. I made a bad judgment call. He ended up being an angry person, and it took a couple of months for him to show me that side, and once he did, I moved on. It doesn't mean I did not know what I was doing, it meant that we have to kiss a lot of frogs before we find a prince...

Go on, kiss some more frogs, just don't do any more body mods until it is something YOU want, or you are DEEPLY committed. Feel lucky that it was only three weeks instead of 3 years, which is a much harder thing to move on from.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to shellywhite62)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Being unreasonable - 9/2/2010 4:16:20 PM   
RealSub58


Posts: 1073
Status: offline 		Moved way too quickly and had no idea what you were doing.  Still don't, since you are asking.  

If he really owned you well and was a proper dom he would be saying:
"My responsibility for her personal well being and dignity would extend to guiding her to a new place where she could prosper apart from Me. Until such independence, or other dependence, had been established she would be My responsibility."

I took this quote from another thread, but I firmly believe it as does my Sir.

Remove your hard limit yourself as you crossed your own personal boundaries for a man you had not yet even met.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Being unreasonable - 9/2/2010 4:31:18 PM   
afkarr


Posts: 328
Joined: 1/13/2010
Status: offline 		An excellent example of the pitfalls of online relationships in general, and online "ownership" specifically. It sounds like you jumped too far too fast with someone who had no intention of ever following through. Look on the bright side- he's most likely an old fat married bald guy ( explains why he couldn't move you in lockl stock and barrel), or a middle aged fat toothless loser living in his Moms basement. Either way, he probably tries to keep an online harem just to stroke his pathetic loser ego. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

Unfortunately, piercings don't tend to heal well in moist environments even when removed, so maybe swap "his" ring out for one of your choosing, enjoy, and chalk it up to lessons learned.

(in reply to RealSub58)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Being unreasonable - 9/3/2010 11:54:53 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		From a female Dominant's perspective.

I would understand completely if he did the piercing and it was your preference for him to remove it.  However, the guy you 'met' online wasn't the one to put it in.  In reality, the guy didn't do the work.  For all you know, he might not have had the ability to do so from a technical angle.  Do you really want to trust him with the removal?

This whole thing lasted all of three weeks.  I have to disagree with the poster who suggested that this person has some kind of personal responsibility to you after so short a time.  If that is the kind of time frame that you are basing decisions such as ownership or body modifications on, I would seriously ask that you do some personal reflection on why you are so quick to take such actions in the first place.


_____________________________

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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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(in reply to afkarr)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Being unreasonable - 9/3/2010 12:06:39 PM   
hlen5


Posts: 5890
Joined: 3/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

.........In reality, the guy didn't do the work.  For all you know, he might not have had the ability to do so from a technical angle.  Do you really want to trust him with the removal?.

I could be mstaken, but I understood her to mean she asked the master to pay to have it removed.

_____________________________



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(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Being unreasonable - 9/3/2010 7:45:15 PM   
SpiritedRadiance


Posts: 1341
Joined: 3/3/2010
Status: offline 		Put on a pair of rubber gloves for traction, If its a hood piercing then grab the top and bottom ball at the same time both hands gloved... and twist in opposite directions... your hand twists to the right your right hand to the left and Viola... piercings loose and removable.

And Afkarr.....The Female genitalia, hood labia  and scrotum piercings are the FASTEST recovery time (1 to 2 weeks)because of the constant blood flow to the area the next fastest healing is the tongue (2 to 4 weeks)... So Taking it out would mean it would heal quickly the reason shes sore is because when you try to grip wet metal in a wet air with NO traction all you get is slips slides and anger (i learned this the hard way by trying to change my hood piercing all on my own with a mirror when i was rather wet...)

Healing has to do with how much blood flow gets to the area. The more flow the faster the healing.


_____________________________

"Theres nothing in life like the feeling of cool leather sliding over your skin, the tears that fill your eyes as you realize someone else thinks you deserve it even if you havent reached that conclusion yet"- Forever to remember 11/5/11

(in reply to hlen5)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Being unreasonable - 9/3/2010 9:28:57 PM   
inkSecret


Posts: 83
Joined: 3/4/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shellywhite62

Started this post by telling my whole story and the reason i got in this situation but decided to just cut to the chase.

I started a relationship online with a Master with the knowledge that i would be moving to His area a month after we met online.  The promise was there, the chemistry was stronger than any other i've met and so when He asked me to get a ring on my clit for Him (at His expense), i did it.  (I do need to say, that piercings other than ears have always been a "hard limit" for me in the past.) 
Well, the relationship ended abruptly due to my lack of judgment two weeks before we were to be together.  (Yes, the relationship only lasted  3 weeks........sighs)
Now not only am i brokenhearted beyond belief, but i have this albatross on my clit. i've tried to take it out but i ended up with a sore clit. ugh  I'm really afraid of ripping the skin - big chicken here.  I did ask Him if He would remove it for me and at first He agreed but then decided that it wasn't up to Him.  

Am i being unreasonable if i pursue Him taking it out?  I really don't want anyone else to do it, besides Him or me, and since i can't seem to....

~laughs at self~  Cutting to the chase still took longer than i intended....



You know...  On the plus side here.  You can now check off "Doing something young, stupid and regrettable" off your list

Some people never get to do that


_____________________________

Stop asking questions only you can answer
There's no standard to adhere to
We dominate and submit as we choose

You can't ask us
What's right for me?
We're not you

Decide your level of involvement
Find yourself
It's your decision

(in reply to shellywhite62)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Being unreasonable - 9/7/2010 4:50:45 PM   
afkarr


Posts: 328
Joined: 1/13/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance

And Afkarr.....The Female genitalia, hood labia  and scrotum piercings are the FASTEST recovery time (1 to 2 weeks)because of the constant blood flow to the area the next fastest healing is the tongue (2 to 4 weeks)... So Taking it out would mean it would heal quickly the reason shes sore is because when you try to grip wet metal in a wet air with NO traction all you get is slips slides and anger (i learned this the hard way by trying to change my hood piercing all on my own with a mirror when i was rather wet...)

Healing has to do with how much blood flow gets to the area. The more flow the faster the healing.



Available resources estimate healing time from anywhere between 4-6 weeks and 2-3 months. There are several contributory factors that determine individual healing time, including yes, blood flow, presence of pathogens/infectious organisms in area/wound, depth/size of wound, moisture level of wound bed, and nutritional status. The results are highly variable.

(in reply to SpiritedRadiance)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Being unreasonable - 9/7/2010 5:08:48 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		Did you ever meet this guy?

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to afkarr)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Being unreasonable - 9/7/2010 8:50:52 PM   
AnimusRex


Posts: 2165
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline 		Definitely sounds like a job for the Binford 2000 metalworking visegrip pliers, with an assist from a blowtorch and electric 90 degree variable speed cutoff saw with a carbide blade and nonchoking clutch arrgh arrghh ARRGHHH!

Just sayin'.

(in reply to shellywhite62)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Being unreasonable - 9/7/2010 8:58:31 PM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AnimusRex

Definitely sounds like a job for the Binford 2000 metalworking visegrip pliers, with an assist from a blowtorch and electric 90 degree variable speed cutoff saw with a carbide blade and nonchoking clutch arrgh arrghh ARRGHHH!

Just sayin'.



_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

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Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Being unreasonable - 9/7/2010 9:01:49 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

Did you ever meet this guy?

Cali



I wondered the same thing. I also wonder at how it could be within the realm of reasonable possibilities that someone would think an online relationship of less than 3 weeks was a catalyst for getting a piercing like that.

Unless you really always wanted one and used this as an excuse to finally get it.

Otherwise, if someone online TOLD you to get it, that I cannot process.

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Being unreasonable - 9/7/2010 9:05:18 PM   
Mistletoe


Posts: 288
Joined: 8/16/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AnimusRex

Definitely sounds like a job for the Binford 2000 metalworking visegrip pliers, with an assist from a blowtorch and electric 90 degree variable speed cutoff saw with a carbide blade and nonchoking clutch arrgh arrghh ARRGHHH!

Just sayin'.


OMG! lolololol



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(in reply to AnimusRex)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Being unreasonable - 9/8/2010 7:15:11 AM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		Go to your doctor, or the piercer who did it and have them take it out.

Yes, I think it's unreasonable to pursue him to take it out, it's not his job to handle it I feel. Would it be nice of him, yes, it would. Does he have to, it is his job ect ? no.

You should ofthought longer and harder about this than you did, and that's easy to say, I know, but it is after all your body that will have this " albatross" as you've called it, long after he's gone, if the relationship should go south.

3 weeks is to soon to be " so sure of the chemistry with him"  specially if you never met him in real life, that you'll do body modifications, specially ones you wouldn't want outside of him..

quote:

ORIGINAL: shellywhite62

Started this post by telling my whole story and the reason i got in this situation but decided to just cut to the chase.

I started a relationship online with a Master with the knowledge that i would be moving to His area a month after we met online.  The promise was there, the chemistry was stronger than any other i've met and so when He asked me to get a ring on my clit for Him (at His expense), i did it.  (I do need to say, that piercings other than ears have always been a "hard limit" for me in the past.) 
Well, the relationship ended abruptly due to my lack of judgment two weeks before we were to be together.  (Yes, the relationship only lasted  3 weeks........sighs)
Now not only am i brokenhearted beyond belief, but i have this albatross on my clit. i've tried to take it out but i ended up with a sore clit. ugh  I'm really afraid of ripping the skin - big chicken here.  I did ask Him if He would remove it for me and at first He agreed but then decided that it wasn't up to Him.  

Am i being unreasonable if i pursue Him taking it out?  I really don't want anyone else to do it, besides Him or me, and since i can't seem to....

~laughs at self~  Cutting to the chase still took longer than i intended....



_____________________________

One world under lube with vibrators and dildo's for all! quote from the sex toy 101 book

(in reply to shellywhite62)
Profile   Post #: 20
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