RE: Labor Day Weekend/End of Summer

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RE: Labor Day Weekend/End of Summer - 9/4/2010 11:07:33 AM

SylvereApLeanan

Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Looking back at Our Bosnian Correspondent and LowNumberSub, what should we have done? I BEGGED folks to not feed those trolls. Do we not point out that hey, that thread is right over THERE?

There will always be trolls and people who like to bait them. I can't control their stuff, only mine. I think if the veterans (and I count myself here) lead by example and ignore the troll threads while simultaneously giving our attention to the threads that deserve it, then people will recognize it and follow suit.

quote:

I've only been here five years. Folks were yipping about cliques back then, too. That seems to be the buzzword for "group where I don't know anyone but they don't instantly treat me like an old friend".

"Clique" seems to be the accusation leveled at anyone who has been around a community/board/whatever long enough to earn a modicum of respect by anyone who covets that attention. I know I've been accused of being part of the "power clique" in other places, and I'm probably the person least likely to be part of any such group. The truth is that yes, there are cliques, and some people are in them and others aren't. I don't see it as a Bad Thing, but I do think it's necessary to acknowledge they exist and take steps so that we, as a collected group of people, don't become too insular. If we do, then we stagnate, and the board/community/etc. eventually dies.

quote:

Should CM be a giant chat room, where we have greeters? Cripes, I already started the clique welcoming committee!

For the love of all gods, large and small, just say no! Besides, we do have greeters. Just look at the Intros section and there are several people who respond to newcomers on a regular basis.

E2A:
Does it make me a terrible person that I consider this one of the better threads started lately? Good on LP.

< Message edited by SylvereApLeanan -- 9/4/2010 11:11:54 AM >

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Post #: 21

RE: Labor Day Weekend/End of Summer - 9/4/2010 11:13:17 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan

quote:

Should CM be a giant chat room, where we have greeters? Cripes, I already started the clique welcoming committee!

For the love of all gods, large and small, just say no! Besides, we do have greeters. Just look at the Intros section and there are several people who respond to newcomers on a regular basis.

Yes, we do, or try to! Yet we continue to be the great big mean clique! (Especially ME! Because my clique involves tiaras and cupcakes.)

I guess I am not seeing the evil. A friend of mine said that she came to the boards briefly and it was hellish. I certainly can't say her experience was not valid, just because it didn't happen to me! I very rarely visit the submissives board, I just can't say. Personally, I think we are TOO nice on the Mistress board.

Is it better, say, on Fetlife? I will tell you that from my perspective it is NOT. I was on several femdom lists there, and I left them all. That bunch of heathers would eat their young with hoisen sauce, and the wank level of the men? Well our wankers would be put to shame. It's less visible there because it's more spread out, but Fet is not the zone of comfort and joy. That's WHY there are so many little groups!

Solutions? I got nothing. I'm still here, I'm not leaving, and Old Biddy Answers are still available.

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RE: Labor Day Weekend/End of Summer - 9/4/2010 11:26:25 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan
E2A:
Does it make me a terrible person that I consider this one of the better threads started lately? Good on LP.

I appreciate that.

I'm sure there will be someone who comes along to say that it was just a rant, that I'm bitching, etc, but it's a conversation that I've enjoyed.

Sorry, Hib, but I am firmly anti-necro. I think old threads are good for research (reading) but not necessarily for discussing (new posting). One of the Mods some time back was closing threads that were necro'd and saying that if folks wanted to discuss a topic, start a new thread and link the old one. I have a huge preference for that.

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RE: Labor Day Weekend/End of Summer - 9/4/2010 11:36:37 AM

mstrjx

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Joined: 11/27/2005
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I think we need to remember that there are more than the 'usual' three types of people here, those being the 'initiated', the 'unitiated' and the 'obtuse'. The fourth set is the lurkers. Don't they get owed as much as anyone? I don't say so in all of my threads, but I'm usually aware that their presence is still, potentially, to learn.

You never know if they will a) become the next newbie then powerful clique member or b) your next partner. Who's to say. I welcome all emails considering I'm not getting 20+ dick shots a day.

Jeff

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RE: Labor Day Weekend/End of Summer - 9/4/2010 11:43:37 AM

SylvereApLeanan

Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I guess I am not seeing the evil. A friend of mine said that she came to the boards briefly and it was hellish. I certainly can't say her experience was not valid, just because it didn't happen to me! I very rarely visit the submissives board, I just can't say. Personally, I think we are TOO nice on the Mistress board.

Ok, here's an example from my own experience. I once started a thread asking for good links, either in the archives or through Google, so that I could research a topic. I wasn't asking anyone to spoon feed me answers or explain a topic that had been done to death. What I asked for were links to good resources because, when I Googled the topic, I came back with over a million hits. A million! And over 300 records in the archives. That's daunting even for someone who reads as fast as I do.

I got some decent responses to that thread. However, I also got a couple of twatwaffles essentially calling me a lazy cunt for asking for help narrowing the field so I could do my own research. WTF?!? If that's happening to me after participating on the boards for three years, then how much worse must it seem to someone who is new?

quote:

Is it better, say, on Fetlife? I will tell you that from my perspective it is NOT.

It depends on the group. I know I asked a question in a Fet group that I never would have ventured to ask here. I was a complete n00b to a certain fetish and none of my research, including asking the person I was playing with, had yielded satisfactory results. I was treated well, given helpful suggestions, and encouraged to keep asking questions. If I'd asked the same thing here, I would have been ignored at best and been given a hostile response - including a resounding chorus of "do a search" - at worst. Surely there's some middle ground between the level of hostility we've got here and degenerating into a happy-fluffy board where we all skip around hugging and shining flashlights of love up everyone's ass until they puke. You're right though, the FemDom groups on Fet are catty in the extreme and I don't participate in them either.

quote:

I'm still here, I'm not leaving, and Old Biddy Answers are still available.

Ditto that. I like both forums for different reasons and I'm not going anywhere. And I love Old Biddy answers.

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RE: Labor Day Weekend/End of Summer - 9/4/2010 12:10:16 PM

Wolf2Bear

Posts: 3204
Joined: 9/6/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Is it better, say, on Fetlife? I will tell you that from my perspective it is NOT. I was on several femdom lists there, and I left them all. That bunch of heathers would eat their young with hoisen sauce, and the wank level of the men? Well our wankers would be put to shame. It's less visible there because it's more spread out, but Fet is not the zone of comfort and joy. That's WHY there are so many little groups!

Solutions? I got nothing. I'm still here, I'm not leaving, and Old Biddy Answers are still available.

And yet with most of the groups I belong to on FetLife, I have found the opposite to be true. Granted the groups I am part of are not the same ones you are as we both are searching for knowledge/awareness that specifically is valid to us alone. I do have to wonder if much of the bad experiences people have been drawn into on FetLife mainly have to do with the the dynamics of the other people in that specific group?

Though frankly what you so uniquely refer to as Old Biddy Answers I tend to refer to as Seasoned Veteran Answers..(grinz). More and more I tend to believe that most who post and especially the newcomers, they do fumble around trying to seek answers to the unlimited questions they have and at the same time, they are at a loss to be able to articulate those questions in a manner which is least offensive to the general room. Yes it is a fear, which Sylvere pointed out about being ripped to shreds that each and every one of us had to face when we first started out and sometimes even now. I still recall when I first came to this site and spent the next 3-4 months, lurking and being being guided by the fear that if I ask a simple question and worrying if I'd be shot down in flames...Yes that is daunting and yes it drives many to lurk or simply use a different approach of being a smartass or even use arrogance as a shield against being blasted, flamed or even ignored.
Too often we will read how all of this is "just" words on a computer screen...yet it seems that we (figuratively) too often forget that it still takes a human to type the words and as humans; we still have a heart and we still feel emotions both positive and negative ones. At least I try to remind myself of that even when I too, fail and become too cynical and jaded.

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RE: Labor Day Weekend/End of Summer - 9/4/2010 12:32:24 PM

KariCloud

Posts: 74
Joined: 5/14/2010
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Well, as a "newbie member" here, it is somewhat relieving to hear "veteran" members talk about the harshness on CM forums, makes me feel less chicken. :D

I am *very* appreciative of everyone here who's been willing to ask and answer questions, talk about their lives, discuss experiences, all of it. It has been great reading! Not all good in terms of quality and quite a bit of it very amusing, but good overall. :)

Often, I'll see a new thread about something interesting and it'll prompt me to search back through old threads for more posts on the same subject. I have no idea how common a practice this is, but I do it regularly and I'm glad that old threads are still available to be read through.

The times I've posted on others' threads, I was glad to have the opportunity to voice my opinions and share my experiences without having to put much of myself out to be shredded. :D

I do like it here. I am also on fet life, but CM is easier to read. Aside from targeted discussions on subject-specific groups (such as corsets, or local events), fet life is a pain to navigate through. The "cliques" are more likely to be pronounced with a set up like fet life, and it is too easy to get a narrow, unrealistic set of opinions, or just validation rather than different opinions. It's less limiting. I do so like the fact that subs can post in the master and mistress forums and that masters and mistresses can post in the sub forum. It's just awesome! :D

I of course have no idea how CM was prior to this summer, since that's when I joined... But it is far from the harshest forum I've ever been a member of, and I don't feel too intimidated to participate. I'll probably take my time reading and posting in others' threads before getting around to asking my own questions in my own threads. :)

Kari

< Message edited by KariCloud -- 9/4/2010 12:38:01 PM >

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RE: Labor Day Weekend/End of Summer - 9/4/2010 1:28:26 PM

KatyLied

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I like the way that message boards are fluid, changing, never boring places. It does not bother me when people leave, it is part of the process of life - change. The forum, as a whole, I do not find it harsh or hostile. I post in places where hazing is the norm and happens, it is a way to weed out people who can't hold their own, can't find a way to relate to others. I do note that at times there is specific negatively, but usually it is when posters have not taken the time to understand the protocol of the board or simply ask dumb questions/make stupid assumptions.

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RE: Labor Day Weekend/End of Summer - 9/4/2010 1:40:14 PM

DomMeinCT

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I'm in agreement with Sylvere that board life is cyclical.

I'm a 6-year mod on a board that has seen its ups and downs. The original heavy hitters/frequent posters who left have been replaced with others, we've had more and fewer trolls (not tied to vacation times, but who knows), and posters long-gone will sometimes pop up and become active again.

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