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TheOne09 -> Ratio (9/5/2010 12:46:41 AM)

So I never quite understood this but y is there so many more Male Subs/Slaves than Female Dommes? Also I know everyone has probably heard this a million times but what is up with this site and attracting all these so called "Financial Dommes" Its just a bunch of bullshit I am a male sub and I never would want to drain my bank account and get no satisfaction out of doing so that is my hard earned money. I mean obviously its working for them because it keeps popping up but seriously



crazyml -> RE: Ratio (9/5/2010 1:12:26 AM)

[Edit because I was being a jackass and misread your post]

[Edit2 - Ah... no worries! When I re-read your post (after you'd edited it) I assumed the slip was mine - never mind!]

As you say, the issue of "Financial Dommes" has been covered many times - the primary reason for their existence is that there is a pool of subs that will pay... It may not be your cup of tea, but there is a market for Financial Domination.

I don't know why there are so many more male subs/slaves than female Dommes - It might be that there are just fewer dominant women or that the vast majority of dominant women don't need to join a site like collarme to find a partner?



TheOne09 -> RE: Ratio (9/5/2010 1:15:30 AM)

Thank you for the correction I actually meant that in the first place. I just miss typed it Im sorry about that lol



TheOne09 -> RE: Ratio (9/5/2010 1:48:27 AM)

Yea I understand some people like it but I just don't get it. I mean buying the toys to b used on yourself is one thing but just giving them money or gift cardsfor wht seems like nothing n return is something I will probably never fully understand



DarkSteven -> RE: Ratio (9/5/2010 3:01:15 AM)

1. A million times is conservative.
2. There are some men who get off on tribute.  Obviously, you're not one of them.
3. I am convinced that the Domme/male sub ratio is a ridiculous yardstick.  There are numerous very desirable lifestyle Dommes who post here regularly that are single and have been single for months or years.  There are not enough QUALITY men t go around for them.  If they met a man who could carry a conversation, had a good personality with a sense of humor, and who wanted to see them happy, they'd be delighted.



LadyPact -> RE: Ratio (9/5/2010 7:15:49 AM)

I'm not even going to get into the financial Domination bit.  Just accept that it is a kink that other people have that you might not share.  I'm willing to bet it is not even the only one.  There are kinks out there that I don't want to participate in.  I don't start threads to complain that other people do.

As for the ratio, in My observation, there have always been more males involved in wiitwd than females.  That goes for both sides of the kneel.  That ratio is even greater when you start dealing with the internet.  As a female Dominant, I can promise you that I don't need a computer to find people to play with.  At best, I use it to find where kinky people are and then I go there.  (In other words, I use it to get the location of the next munch or event that I want to attend.)  It's very similar to the concept of a woman doesn't need a website to get laid.  Most women only need to go to the local bar to find someone to take home.  It works the same way.  All I need to do to find someone to beat is hit a BDSM club.



Lockit -> RE: Ratio (9/5/2010 8:26:43 AM)

Personally, I don't believe there is that huge a difference in the numbers of dominant women and submissive men. I think a big difference is found in how many men are sexually addicted, than women. Now, I know that is an inflammatory statement, but hear me out before you burn me at the stake.

Most of the men I have met real life and online have a number of fetishes, have or currently view a lot of porn and as most addict's will do, they will do harmful things to themselves or their lives to get their fix. I do not see these men as submissive. How can one be submissive to me or any other woman when what they have is an addiction to something and most addictions come before all else in their lives? When meeting a sexual addict, they are more concerned with getting a fix, than knowing who I am as a person and I believe a lot of women experience the same thing. I also believe that most males who claim to be submissive are sexually submissive in what they like, but aren't always submissive in other area's. It all revolves around sex. (Thus the many pro's or scammer pro's because there is a market for it. If it didn't pay off they wouldn't being doing it.)

I believe we confuse the words submissive and sexual addict, lump them all together and then see a huge difference. I have absolutely no problem finding a sexual addict. Finding a submissive is a far different story.

There are those that really love submission or sexual submission and they do not place their interests before the person they are interested in, even in more casual relationships. The sexual aspects are a part of a relationship of whatever depth, not the cause of it.



SubPet715 -> RE: Ratio (9/5/2010 8:48:55 AM)

The reason there are more men then women is simple...CM doesn't have a ladies night.

But seriously women in general, least as I see them, are more cerebral than men. Just look through the male submissive profiles sometime, see how man are much more than a list of kinks that they want done to them.



subsfaith -> RE: Ratio (9/5/2010 9:26:51 AM)

I don't think there is a huge difference between males subs and femdoms... but i do think it is possible that your experiences are skewing your perception.  But no worries, a common mistake to make.

As crazyml suggested, there is a supply and demand ratio of dommes that require payment.... and once again, your experiences is skewing your judgment and you have declared it BS.  Pro-dommes are providing a service, should they be expected to provide it for free?



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Ratio (9/5/2010 10:05:03 AM)

I'm not sure that the men are sexually addicted, Lockit, so much as sexually obsessed. There is a pleasant gentleman that I cmail with on the other side one of several "owned and collared" by a local lady. His journal is jam-packed full of his escapades and the self-training that he does at her direction. They do things together, as well. He is very happy with the arrangement. Since she has several men on her string, I presume she is as well.

Speaking for myself, I would NOT be happy with someone who thought that he was serving me by shoving ever larger plugs up his ass without me being there to enjoy it. I don't think that I am alone in that feeling. Mr Manners is far more the norm of the "submissive" men, though.

Another example: a sweet faced young newb. He wants me to fist him. I like fisting. Every time I suggest a coffee date, he has something else going on. Just HOW much do you think he wants to meet?

So yeah, lots of men out there. Uh huh.



leadership527 -> RE: Ratio (9/5/2010 10:23:56 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit said
Most of the men I have met real life and online have a number of fetishes, have or currently view a lot of porn and as most addict's will do, they will do harmful things to themselves or their lives to get their fix. I do not see these men as submissive. How can one be submissive to me or any other woman when what they have is an addiction to something and most addictions come before all else in their lives?

The obvious conclusion is that you need to take a look at you and what's drawing a preponderance of such men to you. This sounds to me like a problem with the pool your fishing in or the bait your using. God knows that the description above does not fit "most men" in general.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus
I'm not sure that the men are sexually addicted, Lockit, so much as sexually obsessed.
we are? obsessed by what measure, yours? Biologically we are loaded with testosterone so you'd kind of expect a higher sexual drive but who makes the "obsessed" diagnosis? It seems to me that one might equally say that "women are frigid" if one wanted to go with such generalities to start with.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Ratio (9/5/2010 10:30:56 AM)

Jeff, don't get on your anti fem dom snort, okay? We are speaking of the male "submissives" that we encounter on the other side, a group that I doubt you are familiar with.

Feel free to check out some of the submissive male profiles. I would post some here if I could, but the TOS frowns on that. A sterling example: The guy who posed nude with his baseball cap over his genitalia, who wanted his woman to sit on his face for HOURS. I wrote and asked, Really? He replied, yes, HE COULD NOT GET ENOUGH, and twenty minutes seemed to be all the women were interested in.

He is TYPICAL of the men who have profiles. I WANT PUSSY YOU HAVE PUSSY YOU GIVE ME PUSSY. End of transaction. What the femdom might want is ancillary. And indeed, she is getting spit all over her clit, shouldn't that count? And she is on top, right, isn't that domination?

The guys out there who really ARE submissive have all the sympathy in the world from me---and yes, Auntie does her bit to hook them up with resources, respond to their journals, etc. They are fighting a losing battle, trying to stand out against the guys who should be on AFF.




leadership527 -> RE: Ratio (9/5/2010 10:41:54 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus
Jeff, don't get on your anti fem dom snort, okay? We are speaking of the male "submissives" that we encounter on the other side, a group that I doubt you are familiar with.
*chuckles* booked.

And to be fair, I did misread the sentence... Somehow I missed the word "The" before "men".... which does scope your whole statement down to a specific group... the group that Lockit attracts. My apologies on that one.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Ratio (9/5/2010 10:50:31 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus
Jeff, don't get on your anti fem dom snort, okay? We are speaking of the male "submissives" that we encounter on the other side, a group that I doubt you are familiar with.
*chuckles* booked.

And to be fair, I did misread the sentence... Somehow I missed the word "The" before "men".... which does scope your whole statement down to a specific group... the group that Lockit attracts. My apologies on that one.


HAH! Yeah, I know how you get. [;)] And it's not the group that Lockit or I ATTRACT, it's the group that is out there for us to choose from! We aggressive domly types tend to go after our prey, yanno. [8D]



Lockit -> RE: Ratio (9/5/2010 10:59:41 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit said
Most of the men I have met real life and online have a number of fetishes, have or currently view a lot of porn and as most addict's will do, they will do harmful things to themselves or their lives to get their fix. I do not see these men as submissive. How can one be submissive to me or any other woman when what they have is an addiction to something and most addictions come before all else in their lives?

The obvious conclusion is that you need to take a look at you and what's drawing a preponderance of such men to you. This sounds to me like a problem with the pool your fishing in or the bait your using. God knows that the description above does not fit "most men" in general.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus
I'm not sure that the men are sexually addicted, Lockit, so much as sexually obsessed.
we are? obsessed by what measure, yours? Biologically we are loaded with testosterone so you'd kind of expect a higher sexual drive but who makes the "obsessed" diagnosis? It seems to me that one might equally say that "women are frigid" if one wanted to go with such generalities to start with.


LOL... Funny how it becomes my problem and I am drawing them. Like I put off some scent to even strangers, anywhere and I mean anywhere, that sets that cock to hard and I am an object. There is some truth in that, but it isn't my fault. I carry a vagina.

There are some studies that I am aware of but will not ever post online in connection to my name or nick that could be used to prove a bit of what I am saying. Some have agendas, but their data is rather interesting which compared to porn profits, what some in the industry say and with online easy access is changing many things in society. With profits what they are in the sex industry, it is kind of hard to argue that it isn't a major thing. What can be argued is the addiction aspect.

In my opinion, I am comfortable tossing a label on someone of addict when sexual things are more important that other things. When a married person is willing to risk all to get a fix. When people go into debt to have a fix. When people treat other people as nothing more than a vessel to get a fix. So in my labeling process, I may be a bit harsh and you can think I am doing something wrong, but in bars, churches, during my speeches, business meetings, online, etc. men objectified me and they do other women because they want sex. A natural need for sex and kinky fun is all good, but when they objectify people, when they take risks and when they place it too highly... I don't think addiction/obsession are too far a stretch.



ThundersCry -> RE: Ratio (9/5/2010 11:53:29 AM)

ignore them...not rocket science....geesh

Chances of you finding someone suitable for you is very slim here...very.

Know...there is a VAST amount of knowledge to be learned here from others...

good luck



Voodali -> RE: Ratio (9/5/2010 12:39:10 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

3. I am convinced that the Domme/male sub ratio is a ridiculous yardstick.  There are numerous very desirable lifestyle Dommes who post here regularly that are single and have been single for months or years.  There are not enough QUALITY men t go around for them.  If they met a man who could carry a conversation, had a good personality with a sense of humor, and who wanted to see them happy, they'd be delighted.



I couldn't agree more.  I believe that for a QUALITY male sub, the outlook here is actually quite sunny.  The trick is taming that baser nature, and educating oneself on what dominant women actually want, and then becoming that.  OP, you're young, and have time to develop into a very desirable prospect, if that's what you want.  (I think there should be a finishing school for that, and would like to apply for a position if anyone has already started one)

If you're looking for a kink to be instantly fulfilled, however, you will be sadly disappointed unless you're willing to pay a reputable pro.  A lot of work goes into impressing a woman who knows what she wants.

Here's a hint.  Next time you take that profile pic, aim the camera a little higher ;). I can't speak for others here, but I'm more about the face than the torso.



jujubeeMB -> RE: Ratio (9/5/2010 3:24:23 PM)

OP -

Read every message board thread for six months and your odds of meeting a Domme will go up considerably. Why? Because then you'll have a ton of information about what your average non-financial Domme is looking for, and be able to supply that instead of complaining about the financial ones. Hint: everyone is looking for a person they like and can share a good joke with, so present your personality instead of your kink. Good luck.



goten11756 -> RE: Ratio (9/5/2010 4:55:22 PM)

OP, regarding the financial domination thing, it is something many users here find frustrating, and I agree with you that it is getting ridiculous, so you are not alone on the matter. The only justification for that is there are those who's fetish is to burn their hard earned cash, but then again, those people only represent an extremely small portion of us submissives. Go around searching the profiles and you will rarely see submissives that state they love financial domination. It is a issue frequently discussed in heated debates due to the close relationship with scams. If this is a really big issue for you, I would suggest you go to similar sites such as FL to search, and maybe use the forums to chat with like minded individuals for questions or comments.

I like to keep things simple and search the profiles I have not yet weeded out throughout the years. Eventually, you will be able to find the right person, but that is something for you to figure out. Don't concern yourself too much about the ratio, it just makes things more difficult :)



Twoshoes -> RE: Ratio (9/5/2010 6:45:59 PM)

I sometimes enjoy cooking. However, I don't remember a single time in my life where I have cooked for someone else. I've done it whenever I've wanted to make something I like.

Some people seem to enjoy cooking for others. I look at them and think: "You should be more like me!"

I've realized recently that when you're eating your potato, it doesn't matter much.

I do appreciate being understood by the people around me, but I've given up on the silly idea that they should all do it in the same way. [;)]

I get along really well with artistic people, since we enjoy doing the same things, but their motivations seem to be related more to physically experiencing colors, shapes, textures, contrasts, whereas I get stuck up on the "essence" of things.

I've found them frustratingly shallow at times.

My best friend's appreciation of me seems to be limited to how "fun" I am and how much my actions contribute to his literary inspiration. A bit shallow, but that is all his perception of me allows him to see.

Similiarly, not everyone I meet who is female, "gets me" at all. Some just objectify me... (and I'm only average-looking). But that is all their perception can manage. Especially if we're talking in a public place and they haven't had much time to know me, I wouldn't expect anything more. I don't get offended by this.

And I would hope no one I felt approached in a public place (like the ones you described) would be offended if I hinted that I find them physically attractive and measured their reaction. I mean what else are you supposed to do in that case to see if they're interested/available/attracted to you also? If I can't establish those 3 things, all I'm willing to do is be friends with someone.







Jeff:
I still remember what it feels like to have lower testosterone levels (~5-6 years ago). And for your info, if I had to choose between no women ever and no testosterone ever, I'd choose the first because testosterone and the related aggressiveness feels cozier. It seems to make me want to compete, attack soft objects and topple things like garden gnomes.

Luckily, I have a reasonable amount of self-control but it's soooo good knowing that somewhere inside my head a blind rage towards garden gnomes is waiting to be unleashed. Yes ... cozy.[;)]

P.S. As far as submissive men go, I think SubPet715 is a good example of what Dommes are looking for. It appears he genuinely wants to please. Maybe you could look at his profile.



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