lally2
Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
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quote:
ORIGINAL: abuddingdom
Thanks for the replies, folks. Emotional Transparancy is likely is a topic that's been done to death on these boards, but I think it's one worth visiting, and was hoping for more replies but, again, thanks to those of you who did reply.........
My reason for asking : I've hit a roadblock and want to get past it. We've practiced it since we went fulltime 2 years back, and recently I've realized that I'm real good at it from my end, but I've come to use it as a cleansing thing. That's not a bad thing, but I've gotten into a rut where that's what comes from it(and that's sure not what it's supposed to be - all - about). Essentially, I get satisfaction from it and think to myself "well, I feel better, let's move on". On the other hand, when my pretty one practices it I become impatient, and even have treated it as disobedience, dealt with it in that manner, and say "let's move on". In both cases, she gets left behind. I thought it was a recent thing, but I realize that I was doing it in some degrees all along, just less overtly than in these past few months.
I'm not a "D" type who wants it all about me, that's just not my style. Can anyone point me in the direction of some writing on this topic? Or, if you've negotiated it as part of a D/s dynamic and would care to contact me off board and educate or advise me a bit, or just share your experience, I'd be grateful. As would my pretty one..........
im not sure what you mean - in what way does her emotional transparency come through as disobedience and why do you get impatient with her when she expresses her emotions openly - since youre not someone who wishes it to be 'all about you' then presumably youre coming from a place that is open to her feelings and needs also.
do her feelings and emotions challenge you maybe or put you in a place you feel you cant respond. is it that its making you uncomfortable or is she doing this in a way that does challenge youre perception of how things are.
other peoples feelings can be hard to accommodate sometimes when theyre not exactly where youres are. stepping back, putting youreself in their shoes and seeing it from their perspective helps.
ive recently had to alter my perspective from a couple of situations with two different people and try to see the world from their eye view - it might not be my eye view and it might not fit in with where i am, but they are no less valid to the person feeling them. sometimes its just a matter of accepting theyre feelings on a thing and going with it. that way youre validating them and telling them that theyre feelings are important and youre prepared to make changes or alter youre perspective to accommodate theirs a little more.
being impatient simply suggests that youre not listening or you dont want to and that can create a divide.
ps: sorry i didnt get back to youre last cmail, i was in an odd place back then. xx
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So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!
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RE: emotional transparancy - 
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