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RE: What Activities Could/Couldn't You Give Up? - 9/6/2010 8:36:23 PM

LPslittleclip

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i could give up the sex i could give up the BDSM but i could not give up the love i have for those in my life.

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RE: What Activities Could/Couldn't You Give Up? - 9/6/2010 10:46:03 PM

ResidentSadist

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quote:

What kinky or sexual activity could you not see yourself giving up for a partner?

It is not a particular act. It's more like a style . . . my violently aggressive and sometimes frightening style is what the kinky acts I couldn't give up have in common. I could not give up the masculine, violent, rough, sexual, animalistic acts of domination that ignite my manly passions. I have a beast inside that must be given free reign.

quote:

Are you the type of person who says that you could give it all up if your partner was no longer willing or able to engage in sex or kink with you?

Nope . . . I can straight fuck and all, I get hard without leather. But I can't live without the 24/7 TPE M/s lifestyle and a frequent helping of leather-sex.

A poly slave came to me with two kids (3 & 5), there was no ex-husband, no baggage. It was a nice clean start in my poly family. I loved her and the kids. I was an good father. The kids were awesome, they called me dad and eager to learn from me. It was heaven.

She was young and new. After 2 years she says she can't be slave and asks me to go vanilla with her. She knew when we started that it was M/s or not at all. I broke my own heart when I suggested we break clean so the next guy could have same clean baggage free slate I did.

quote:

Does your answer change if we are just talking about a perspective partner, rather than an established one?

Nope. I am afraid I am a leather-heart through and through.

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RE: What Activities Could/Couldn't You Give Up? - 9/8/2010 5:52:13 AM

CaringandReal

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To me a relationship is not activities, just as a person is not their hair, their hands, or their cock. If a person I loved were to lose one of those body parts, they'd still be the same person to me. At worst my relationship with them would change but it would certainly not end. Likewise with bdsm relationships. If the core understanding is there (you're the owner/I'm the slave) then the activities really don't matter, they're trivial in the sense that decoration is trivial when compared with function. A shiny brass teakettle that looks very cool but will not hold water is worthless compared to an ugly old bent pan that will, although I might steer an enemy toward the former in the hopes that they will scald themselves--so I guess you can't say that such things (or their human equivelents) are totally lacking in function.

I'm also one of those who has given it all up for a partner, for years, so whatever the cynical-to-be-cool types may bray, I'm not speaking idealistically here.

I feel the same way whether the partner is prospective or actual. They wouldn't be "propspective," in any meaning of that term, if I couldn't feel this way about them.

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RE: What Activities Could/Couldn't You Give Up? - 9/8/2010 6:04:24 AM

wandersalone

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hmmmm thinking about the relationship I am currently in, I could give up the physical aspects of our d/s relationship if he still maintained the psychological domination over me which I love so much. I am also quite attached to the quick sharp hair tugs he gives me even when out in public so if he was unable to do that any more I would miss it but truthfully, I would prefer to have him in a kinkless way than be with someone else who could give me that kink..

Sexually I couldn't give up the affection, I could (and have in past relationships) gone without actual intercourse when medical issues have got in the way but I definitely couldn't give up the hugging and kissing and all of that soppy stuff.... ha ha, damn I am so vanilla....bring back my ice cream cone

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RE: What Activities Could/Couldn't You Give Up? - 9/8/2010 6:21:44 AM

onlyfreelycaged

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I need someone who is a sadist... but walking around in 6 inch heals, and freezing (think winter in boston, with just a think little cali coat and short dress) satasfises the need from a partner... so, I could give up any one (or group) or activities that fall under that catagority, but still need it to be there. Just like I need to feel accepted, and cherished (doesn't have to be defined as loved, so long as I feel loved.)

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RE: What Activities Could/Couldn't You Give Up? - 9/8/2010 6:33:30 AM

Toppingfrmbottom

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The entire kit and caboodle.

I consider being kinky a part of me, who I am, and I would be very unhappy to try an pick and choose which parts of that would be done away with, an what is absolutely needed to keep.

Nope, I am not.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

There are two threads dancing around this topic just now. I thought I'd create a thread to ask the question more directly.

What kinky or sexual activity could you not see yourself giving up for a partner?

When I say kinky, I mean any acts that you enjoy as a part of BDSM. It doesn't matter to Me if it's one particular act (such as flogging or being tied up) or if you consider all of BDSM as a whole (such as sadism or masochism).

When I say sexual, I mean any acts that you enjoy as a part of physical sex (such as oral) up to all physical sex.

Are you the type of person who says that you could give it all up if your partner was no longer willing or able to engage in sex or kink with you?

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RE: What Activities Could/Couldn't You Give Up? - 9/8/2010 7:05:16 AM

allthatjaz

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

What kinky or sexual activity could you not see yourself giving up for a partner?

With Steve I would be prepared to give up any kinky or sexual activity.

quote:

Are you the type of person who says that you could give it all up if your partner was no longer willing or able to engage in sex or kink with you?

Absolutely..100% yes!
This all used to be very important to me. This is the way I am, the way I tick, the way I am made and therefore, without this I would be unhappy, incomplete and dissatisfied.
I don't think like that at all anymore. I enjoy our lifestyle and our sexual activity but its only a small part of a very big picture.
Now I would say, as long as I can hear his voice, feel his touch, smell his body musk. As long as I can share his emotions, make him laugh, comfort his sorrow and be there for him. Thats all I need

quote:

Does your answer change if we are just talking about a perspective partner, rather than an established one?
[/color]

If I was out and about looking for a partner or just found a partner, I wouldn't be prepared to give up anything I enjoyed.

< Message edited by allthatjaz -- 9/8/2010 7:12:13 AM >

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RE: What Activities Could/Couldn't You Give Up? - 9/8/2010 7:38:01 AM

DesFIP

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

Being that I'm in love with him, I'd absolutely choose him over a thing. Yes.
If love wasn't part of the relationship...if it was casual...I'd find a mate that matched my kinks.
Which is what I did at the beginning with Shore. I think if we weren't as compatible with our kinks, the relationship wouldn't have evolved into love.

This, absolutely.

With additional that if I/he/we had to give up any particular kink activity because of health issues, that's a given. If he decided that although he could still do this, he wouldn't because he wanted to deprive me, that's a deal breaker. I've been in a relationship where anything I wanted or needed was removed so I could prove that I would still love him anyway. Eventually he took everything I needed to love him away, and then I didn't anymore. I guess he won that, but I view it as a loss myself.

Why matters to me.

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RE: What Activities Could/Couldn't You Give Up? - 9/8/2010 8:13:01 AM

SubPet715

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I'm never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you...okay that is out of my system...

I can give up masturbation, receiving oral sex, anal intercourse, sex as a whole really...if we were together long enough my urges never get to hulk like levels where i'm bursting out of my clothing and freaking out.

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RE: What Activities Could/Couldn't You Give Up? - 9/8/2010 8:59:10 AM

phoenixmoonn13

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our relationship is love based and M/s based both intwinded and insperable for us both. we dont have full intercourse due to his diabetes and so far not finding a version of viagra that works i have given this up. i never thought i would do and i have never had this with him mind you it will be th emost special day if we can ever get it to work so to speak.

we both need the love and the M/s dynamic even when he was ill or when i was ill the dynamic never droped even if our roles and what we did were almost reversed we never lost our love or M/s i hope that sentnce made sense i cna tseem to reword it

however you can never say untill the cruch what you would be prepard to give up.

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RE: What Activities Could/Couldn't You Give Up? - 9/8/2010 9:13:52 AM

KnightofMists

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I love my girls for who they are and not what we do together. What we do together is only celebrating the the love we have for each other. We can and do celebrating our love in a variety of ways. Nothing we do is more important than the love we have for each other. Someday... all the sex and kinky play will end. The reality is that our bodies will not beable to do what it once could. So... when on of us can't do something we enjoy. Well... do somthing else that we enjoy It doesn't affect our love for who we are. As far as perspective partners, Who they are is and will be more important than what we do together as well.

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RE: What Activities Could/Couldn't You Give Up? - 9/8/2010 1:02:02 PM

ExSteelAgain

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I can’t honestly answer the question because I can alter the activities I like. Yep, I could give up one activity for another, I think. But what I’ve noticed with submissive women is that they have certain things they’d die for. Years ago, my first submissive had to have bondage. I mean everything worked off of it. It was kind of like baseball…everything worked off the fastball. The fastball was bondage to her.

These days my submissive, my slave, loves flogging. That was her first exposure to bdsm and it is ingrained in her. I don’t always flog her, but she gets it enough to make her feel like she hit a homerun.

Honestly, she went through a lot in her search to find the person she wanted to flog her. Finding him, me, led to a relationship that made her a slave and knowing the way she needs flogging, it’s another control device I can use on her.

In the midst of a passionate, spacing, bdsm night having her get up on all fours and moving her ass in a tease while pleading for me to flog her like Maggie in Cat On A Hot Tin Roof begging for IT from Brick shows me how important this thing is to her. It wouldn’t be right to take that from her. I’m going to hit her ass with fastballs until the flogger is frayed.

< Message edited by ExSteelAgain -- 9/8/2010 1:04:23 PM >

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RE: What Activities Could/Couldn't You Give Up? - 9/8/2010 4:09:04 PM

daddysliloneds

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i could give up men all together if i didn't love cock so much; does that count?

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RE: What Activities Could/Couldn't You Give Up? - 9/8/2010 4:27:04 PM

MistressLavinia

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Are you the type of person who says that you could give it all up if your partner was no longer willing or able to engage in sex or kink with you?

I've never been placed in the situation, but with all honesty, I believe I could. I think if you have a partner, whether your a Dominant or a submissive person, things change for your partner, It's different when it's just you, going through life, dating, and experimenting, but for my "partner" I believe I could give up sex and kink. (I can still play by myself right?) Yepp, I could give it up, I do a great job on me, all the time anyway.

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RE: What Activities Could/Couldn't You Give Up? - 9/8/2010 8:33:49 PM

BalletBob

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Since my Dear wife isn't into this, I guess I am giving it up, for her. Now if I do get a Mistress like MADAM someday, I could also give that up, for my dear wife, though she didn't mind that so much.

What I won't give up? I don't think there is anything I wouldn't give up, if she asks me to. It is all for love, and we've been married for over 35 years. I guess we're doing something right.

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RE: What Activities Could/Couldn't You Give Up? - 9/8/2010 9:46:51 PM

Kana

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I have to have a power dynamic to enjoy sex.
Now often that can mean some really hard acts, but it can also be something soft slow and sensual.
The details may differ, but the root remains.
For this cat, sex and power are inextricably intertwined.

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RE: What Activities Could/Couldn't You Give Up? - 9/8/2010 10:10:43 PM

NewFaceInHell

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quote:

Are you the type of person who says that you could give it all up if your partner was no longer willing or able to engage in sex or kink with you?

Does your answer change if we are just talking about a perspective partner, rather than an established one?

A prospective partner has to be a sadist and has to be aroused by bondage and rough play. There's no room for negotiation on those points. It doesn't matter to me if she's part of any scene or a dues paying member of Dommes Local 276, but when the doors are closed if she's not sadistic, a little twisted, and sexually aroused by inflicting a little pain it's not going to work for me.

Needs and wants change as relationships progress. Urges come and go and come back again. But if there were no bondage, no pain, no torment, then I would quickly lose interest. It's no judgment on my hypothetical partner as a person, but people change and grow apart and not meeting a partner's sexual needs is one of the surest ways to grow apart.

Basically, love isn't all I need. Love is a thing I need. Sadism is another thing I need.

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RE: What Activities Could/Couldn't You Give Up? - 9/8/2010 10:15:22 PM

BambiBoi

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There are certain activities that I could not give up permanently, because that would be killing a very real part of me. I would have to live a lie (in that small regard) to fit.

In service, I could not give up all sorts of costumes or masks if I was expected to serve men, at least not for a while. I find it hard to become the service boy deep down when I look like the guy I am at work.

In a sexual relationship, I could not give up oral sex, both giving and (hopefully maybe sometimes...) getting. I need a partner who does not have a phobic reaction to saliva. Licking, spitting, mouthing, sucking... are all sexy. I would be unfulfilled without them.

I could give up some of the kinks I really enjoy, because they are not essential to my fulfillment. This list includes humiliation, cross dressing. Also, if my dominant would like me to give up spankings, I think I'd be ok <3

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RE: What Activities Could/Couldn't You Give Up? - 9/8/2010 10:16:53 PM

sexyred1

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I find it interesting to wonder how one would answer the same question at different ages and stages of your life.

I know for me, most of my serious love relationships were based heavily on the kink/sex factor and that passion led to falling in love. So, if you had asked me this up until recently, I would have said I MUST have an intense kink/sex dynamic to fall in love.

Now...after experiencing a very long, very emotionally unhealthy relationship with someone where the kink/sex factor made the prior ones look like vanilla, yet the supposed love we had was not real, or genuine, and hurt so badly, now I would say that I could give up the kink/sexual intensity in exchange for a deep, abiding love that is genuine, heartfelt, soulful, and unselfish.

I am not saying I would not want certain things, or that I don't need certain acts, kink and sexually, but honestly, right now I would rather have one year with an authentic love connection than a lifetime of passion without the love connection.

When you have experienced the ultimate in passion and thought you had love and you discover that the person never "got" you, then all the wild sex and kink are really worthless. It is a cosmic joke that you can have the greatest chemistry with someone who is the worst person on the planet for you.

I want a witness to my life who cares; not a partner who values only one part of me.

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 9/8/2010 10:20:10 PM >

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RE: What Activities Could/Couldn't You Give Up? - 9/8/2010 11:51:09 PM

WaywardsPet

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I would have to say I think I'd have trouble giving up rope play. I love being tied up, especially in a body harness attached to my collar. Also, I think I would be crushed if Master stopped leashing me to the bed at night. I feel safer knowing that he wants to keep me next to him.

I think I'd have trouble giving up sex all together as well. I'm a sexually driven person and I tend to get down and depressed if I'm not having sex on a regular basis and it's often used as a punishment. And the answer doesn't change between established and prospective partners, I really have to have sex to keep me happy. Orgasms are the perfect physical and emotional reward.

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