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newflowers -> RE: Scared and Submissive (9/28/2004 10:47:55 PM)
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Sunangel.
To what has already been said, I would add taking it slowly is a necessity. That is an issue of personal safety and caution - not shyness.
You mentioned that you speak to doms who grow impatient. I think an impatient man is one with his own issues of control and not what you want anyway. (Please note dear readers that I did not question or cast doubt on his domliness - well, I do, but that's another topic). When you talk about how you've worked with your friend - that is how you should be starting out with any potential partner. Take it slowly. Become friends first. Talk, talk and talk some more. Ask him lots of questions about everything you wonder about him and his potential suitability as a partner. If he grows frustrated, know that he was NOT at all what you need.
As to that - do not be quick to rush into finding a partner. Spend time learning about your submissive nature, what it is, how it works for you, how it will impact you in a relationship. I highly suggest the essays of Dr. Yaldah Tovah - a quick internet search should bring them right up or take a look at the Internal Enslavement site - great info there. Look for and read sites for submissives. Check out the yahoo and other groups in your area for a local submissives' group and join, especially try to find one that meets - just submissives meeting to talk, be friends, lend support.
Take your time. Know that there are plenty of potential partners, but you will not know what type of partner or relationship you need until you spend time learning about yourself. When you learn about yourself and what you need and want, tell any potential partners exactly that. If the question it - move on. Be true to yourself and know that any who would try to rush you are not what you are looking for at this time. Don't allow anyone, including yourself, to get so carried away by the fantasy and the desire that you set yourself up for danger - physical, spiritual, mental, or emotional danger.
Be good to yourself. Fear is not always a bad thing and is usually present for a reason. Discover and deal with those reasons. Learn about yourself. If, as someone suggested shyness is rooted is a lack of confidence, then knowledge is the power that will help you gain that confidence. Take time to gain that knowledge.
Be safe -
newflowers
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