When You receive an inquiry from a sub/slave who is interested in Your profile, do You always reply? (Full Version)

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addicted2it -> When You receive an inquiry from a sub/slave who is interested in Your profile, do You always reply? (9/26/2004 6:14:51 AM)

OK. So what gives? i know that all Dominatrices are not the same. Some look at photos of inquiring subs/slaves, while others read the content of the written inquiry, and then determine whether or not to respond.

(1) How much importance does One place upon appearance, and how much is placed upon intellict, maturity, sinerity, experience and/or willingness to give the gift of submission to You?

(2) When a submisive or slave takes the time to write a polite, well-written letter in response to Your profile, do You appreciate the fact that he or She has given some thought and consideration to what it is that You, in particular, are looking for?

3) Do You tend to discriminate against those who are not within the age group that You are particularly attracted to? Or would You consider taking on a submissive/slave who might be outside of the age parameters that You require? In other words, are Your requirements rigid, or are they open to change?

Respectfully,

philip




LadyBeckett -> RE: When You receive an inquiry from a sub/slave who is interested in Your profile, do You always reply? (9/26/2004 7:22:48 AM)

This is one of those topics that has been covered several many times on the boards. However I actually like the way you have presented this, so rather than shout for proudsub, I am going to answer you.

quote:

(1) How much importance does One place upon appearance, and how much is placed upon intellict, maturity, sinerity, experience and/or willingness to give the gift of submission to You?


Appearance matters. I am not one who will say it doesn't. If I can't stand to look at someone, I don't want them up under me all day every day. I am all for realizing the beauty within, and the qualities within, and I believe that most everyone has it all. But when it comes to an intimate partner (submissive), then appearance is a factor. Maturity, intelligence, and social presence are important to me also. I am The Mistress, not The Mommy.

I have found that it can go either way with no experience/experienced. If the male is sincerely/genuinely submissive then experience, or the lack thereof, is not an issue. It is all about communication, chemistry, and sincerity.

I don't consider Dominance, or submission, to be "gifts". We are what we are. We come together and we compliment one another...for a lifetime. If there were a "gift", I suppose the relationship itself would be it. Not one or the other.

quote:

(2) When a submisive or slave takes the time to write a polite, well-written letter in response to Your profile, do You appreciate the fact that he or She has given some thought and consideration to what it is that You, in particular, are looking for?


If this is the case, I respond in kind.

quote:

3) Do You tend to discriminate against those who are not within the age group that You are particularly attracted to? Or would You consider taking on a submissive/slave who might be outside of the age parameters that You require? In other words, are Your requirements rigid, or are they open to change?


I've never thought of it as discrimination exactly. I've always thought of it as my personal preferences. I prefer those between the ages of 35 and 45. I am considering a male at present who is 54. I may go older, but it is very doubtful that I would ever go younger.

Welcome to the boards. Stay with us. [;)]








MsD -> RE: When You receive an inquiry from a sub/slave who is interested in Your profile, do You always reply? (9/26/2004 8:40:17 AM)

Hello addicted *s* Yes, as you say, we are all different ... after all, whether submissive/slave or Dominant, we are all individuals!

quote:

(1) How much importance does One place upon appearance, and how much is placed upon intellict, maturity, sinerity, experience and/or willingness to give the gift of submission to You?

Appearance is important to a degree; it is important to Me that a girl (as that is what I am interested in) thinks enough of herself & of Me to want to present herself in the best possible light. Same goes for intellect, maturity, sincerity. Besides, I am an intelligent, mature Woman & am sincere in My own desires. What good would a submissive/slave be to Me if she cannot relate to/understand Me nor I her? Experience is not so important. After all, what I want in actions & responses might very well be totally different than what she has learned from a previous Dominant. Willingness to submit ... well, how in the world could I dominate one who wasn't willing to submit? *chuckling* Sincerity & honesty are crucial to Me. This is not a game to Me and I do NOT like being "played".

quote:

(2) When a submisive or slave takes the time to write a polite, well-written letter in response to Your profile, do You appreciate the fact that he or She has given some thought and consideration to what it is that You, in particular, are looking for?

I always respond to polite inquiries. My biggest pet peeve, however, is in direct relation to the male submissives/slaves who seem to not read/comprehend the line in My profile "not interested in males ... PERIOD!" I have, however, had some very pleasant conversations with male subs/slaves who contacted Me for reasons OTHER THAN wanting Me to dominate them or f* them!

quote:

3) Do You tend to discriminate against those who are not within the age group that You are particularly attracted to? Or would You consider taking on a submissive/slave who might be outside of the age parameters that You require? In other words, are Your requirements rigid, or are they open to change?

My own requirements regarding age are fairly rigid, but I always consider each on an individual basis. Point in fact, I usually look for girls between 24-38 yrs old ... but am currently talking with a very mature, impressive 18yr old *s* Don't know if it will go anywhere as we have only just begun discussions, but she impresses Me with every email *s*




addicted2it -> RE: When You receive an inquiry from a sub/slave who is interested in Your profile, do You always reply? (9/26/2004 1:52:10 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyBeckett

This is one of those topics that has been covered several many times on the boards. However I actually like the way you have presented this, so rather than shout for proudsub, I am going to answer you.

Well, i am rather new here, and have not read all of the archives, so i do appreciate not being called on the carpet, so-to-speak!

quote:

(1) How much importance does One place upon appearance, and how much is placed upon intellict, maturity, sinerity, experience and/or willingness to give the gift of submission to You?


Appearance matters. I am not one who will say it doesn't. If I can't stand to look at someone, I don't want them up under me all day every day. I am all for realizing the beauty within, and the qualities within, and I believe that most everyone has it all. But when it comes to an intimate partner (submissive), then appearance is a factor. Maturity, intelligence, and social presence are important to me also. I am The Mistress, not The Mommy.

Yes, i totally agree! Appearance does matter -- especially when meeting someone for the first time. O/one looks at all manner of things, including neatness, choice of clothing and colors, grooming, personal cleanliness, etc., etc. But when You meet someone online, You can only judge that person by how they articulate their words, by perhaps a recent photo (or photos), and possibly via Webcam. However, how can anyone be judged on the basis of photos here? Everyone is entitled to persue the type of person who they are most attracted to. i reserve the right to practice this as well.

I have found that it can go either way with no experience/experienced. If the male is sincerely/genuinely submissive then experience, or the lack thereof, is not an issue. It is all about communication, chemistry, and sincerity.

i am certain that You would not consider any involvement with a submissive that admits to having no experiece whatsoever. After all, and speaking as a submissive, what would i do with a self-proclaimed "Dominatrice," who had no experience? And yes, how can O/one become experienced without the benefit of trial and error? Having said that, it is really up to E/each of U/us to learn all that we can about the subject before engaging in an actual session.

I don't consider Dominance, or submission, to be "gifts". We are what we are. We come together and we compliment one another...for a lifetime. If there were a "gift", I suppose the relationship itself would be it. Not one or the other.

Now, as far as submission being a gift, i think this is where i have to step in and say this: when i submit to someone, i ask for nothing in return. This may sound noble, unselfish and to some, utterly absurd! However, this is who i am. If a Dominatrice chooses to honor me with the "gift" (yes, again that word comes up) of giving me a reward for that service, then it becomes a mutual exchange. But i never simply expect to have my fantasies catered to, unless it is specifically discussed with a profressional before a session.

quote:

(2) When a submisive or slave takes the time to write a polite, well-written letter in response to Your profile, do You appreciate the fact that he or She has given some thought and consideration to what it is that You, in particular, are looking for?


If this is the case, I respond in kind.

Thank You! But some actually do not! You are indeed the excepetion to the rule! :-)

quote:

3) Do You tend to discriminate against those who are not within the age group that You are particularly attracted to? Or would You consider taking on a submissive/slave who might be outside of the age parameters that You require? In other words, are Your requirements rigid, or are they open to change?


I've never thought of it as discrimination exactly. I've always thought of it as my personal preferences. I prefer those between the ages of 35 and 45. I am considering a male at present who is 54. I may go older, but it is very doubtful that I would ever go younger.

Well, i should probably not have said, "discriminate," for this is a very hot topic! And as i have indicated before, everyone is entitled to their own particular choice as it relates to age and appearance. In fact as i become older, i am finding more and more Dominatrices who are over 50. They tend to have the same interests and zest for life than some who are much younger. i personally believe that, if O/one stays in shape by taking care of themselves though diet and exercise, O/one can be beautiful at any age.

Welcome to the boards. Stay with us. [;)]

Thank You for Your courteous and detailed reply, LadyBeckett. [:)] i shall continue to monitor the message boards; and, by the way, i both respect and value Your opinions!

Sincerely,

philip









addicted2it -> RE: When You receive an inquiry from a sub/slave who is interested in Your profile, do You always reply? (9/26/2004 2:13:13 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsD

Hello addicted *s* Yes, as you say, we are all different ... after all, whether submissive/slave or Dominant, we are all individuals!

Hello, MsD, and thank You for responding!

quote:

(1) How much importance does One place upon appearance, and how much is placed upon intellict, maturity, sinerity, experience and/or willingness to give the gift of submission to You?

Appearance is important to a degree; it is important to Me that a girl (as that is what I am interested in) thinks enough of herself & of Me to want to present herself in the best possible light. Same goes for intellect, maturity, sincerity. Besides, I am an intelligent, mature Woman & am sincere in My own desires. What good would a submissive/slave be to Me if she cannot relate to/understand Me nor I her? Experience is not so important. After all, what I want in actions & responses might very well be totally different than what she has learned from a previous Dominant. Willingness to submit ... well, how in the world could I dominate one who wasn't willing to submit? *chuckling* Sincerity & honesty are crucial to Me. This is not a game to Me and I do NOT like being "played".

i suppose that this subject is now a moot point, since W/we all seem to agree that submissives of either gender should "present" themselves in the best way possible. You also refer to previous experience, and a submissive has to understand that pleasing one person is not the same as pleasing another. Everyone has specific needs and desires, as should be recognized as such. Yes, sincerity and honesty is a must! And no one wants to be taken advantage of, unless of course, it is within the confines of a scene. *Wink*

quote:

(2) When a submisive or slave takes the time to write a polite, well-written letter in response to Your profile, do You appreciate the fact that he or She has given some thought and consideration to what it is that You, in particular, are looking for?

I always respond to polite inquiries. My biggest pet peeve, however, is in direct relation to the male submissives/slaves who seem to not read/comprehend the line in My profile "not interested in males ... PERIOD!" I have, however, had some very pleasant conversations with male subs/slaves who contacted Me for reasons OTHER THAN wanting Me to dominate them or f* them!

While i am not apologizing for the behavior of some males, i agree that if you clearly state, "NO MEN," that should be reason enough for them not to try to contact You.

quote:

3) Do You tend to discriminate against those who are not within the age group that You are particularly attracted to? Or would You consider taking on a submissive/slave who might be outside of the age parameters that You require? In other words, are Your requirements rigid, or are they open to change?

My own requirements regarding age are fairly rigid, but I always consider each on an individual basis. Point in fact, I usually look for girls between 24-38 yrs old ... but am currently talking with a very mature, impressive 18yr old *s* Don't know if it will go anywhere as we have only just begun discussions, but she impresses Me with every email *s*


Well, good luck to You with Your 18-year-old. i once met a 23-year-old online while i was 50, who also impressed me. However, and in actuality, we had little in common besides sex! And to me, sex is just simply a part of the whole of any relationship.

Respectfully,

philip




Sundew02 -> RE: When You receive an inquiry from a sub/slave who is interested in Your profile, do You always reply? (9/26/2004 5:19:31 PM)

Each of us have our limitations as to what we can and cannot accept. I am 53 so males in their twenties are not going to fit into my life. As I seek a male who can not only match my D/s needs, but my vanilla world as well. Personal appearance is important, neatness, cleanliness submissive demeanor are important. A face to face is the only way I know of to accomplice this. Although I will state here, that getting males to come up to stratch on that point has proven to be a Herculean feat.

Like Beckett, when I receive a polite inquery I respond in kind. A one line email, usually gets a zero line response from me. I do not expect a novel, but more than "I am a slave, and can relocate". Or the worst is do you have a picture, without even an opening attempt to learn about me as a Domme.

I see no reason that a polite at least in type submissive male should expect less from the responses they receive and they should receive a response. Sundew




uniqueenough23 -> RE: When You receive an inquiry from a sub/slave who is interested in Your profile, do You always reply? (9/26/2004 9:56:00 PM)

Looks do play a fairly large part in choosing a sub/slave...but don't they in choosing a mistress as well? It's human nature to be more fond of a person that catches the eye.

It depends on how the person presents his/her self. SOme I don't reply...especially those that use foul language or can't even greet me properly.

The age thing is a bit of an issue. I'm 25 and get a few from men a lot older than me. While I'm grateful they take the, I wouldn't feel comfortable playing with a man in his 60's. 40's maybe...less of a chance for health problems and a bit more mature. But again it all goes back to looks...if they don't look healthy then I wouldn't be playing w/ them anyway. Don't want anyone dying on my time.

Mistress Unique




LadyAngelika -> RE: When You receive an inquiry from a sub/slave who is interested in Your profile, do You always reply? (9/26/2004 11:32:05 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: addicted2it
(1) How much importance does One place upon appearance, and how much is placed upon intellict, maturity, sinerity, experience and/or willingness to give the gift of submission to You?


I wouldn’t say that any of these are in any order of importance for me. I look at people holistically. Each of the following criterion will not be enough, on it’s own.
1) sincerity
2) good grasp on reality
3) maturity
4) intellect
5) open-mindedness
6) self-respect
7) appearance

quote:

ORIGINAL: addicted2it
(2) When a submisive or slave takes the time to write a polite, well-written letter in response to Your profile, do You appreciate the fact that he or She has given some thought and consideration to what it is that You, in particular, are looking for?

Most definitely!!!

In fact, I rarely respond to vacant, do-me emails. But even if someone doesn’t fit my criterion, I will still respond to them with words of encouragement and kind regards if they have taken the time to write me a proper note.

quote:

ORIGINAL: addicted2it
3) Do You tend to discriminate against those who are not within the age group that You are particularly attracted to? Or would You consider taking on a submissive/slave who might be outside of the age parameters that You require? In other words, are Your requirements rigid, or are they open to change?


Ah the word discriminate has gotten such a bad rap! It simply means to distinguish or discern at the origin. I can, but doesn’t necessarily have to, imply that people are viewing what doesn’t fit into their preference as negative, but just not what they want.

My guideline is simple at this time. –5 to +15. I very rarely make an exception and I reserve the right to change my mind any time ;)

- LA




Laura -> RE: When You receive an inquiry from a sub/slave who is interested in Your profile, do You always reply? (9/27/2004 6:57:11 AM)

I appreciate anything that isn't a form letter. If they took the time to read and respond to my profile, even better.

I prefer someone about my own age and nearby. I also look for sincerity and intelligence. If they list interests outside of sex/ BDSM that's someone I will be curious to know more about and likely meet. If they only talk about sex... There's just more to life and I'm not interested in spending time with just a penis.




MaitresseEden -> RE: When You receive an inquiry from a sub/slave who is interested in Your profile, do You always reply? (9/27/2004 7:38:26 AM)

Ok. While I agree with the ladies beckett and angelika I'm going to interject my two cents.
quote:


(1) How much importance does One place upon appearance, and how much is placed upon intellict, maturity, sinerity, experience and/or willingness to give the gift of submission to You?


I place a high value on appearance. I know this may come across as shallow, and vain and even elitist, but it is honest. I place a high negative value on sloppiness, and bad hygiene or lack of style. I know the latter can be shocking but seriously, if they show up for a lunch meeting at a resturant like "outback steakhouse" and are dressed like they are going to the beach, and all wrinkled and disheveled then I'm going to be put off. I'm not saying that anyone needs to look like they stepped off the pages of a magazine and trust me often times I'm thrown together myself. However when first meeting a person I think it is important to take great pains to present yourself in the best manner possible. Clean with good hygiene it critical to me.

Intelligence is something I strongly judge a person on. If they don't challege and excite my grey matter, and arn't able to converse on my level I'm not going to persue anything with them. Same goes for maturity and sincerity, those are must haves for me. Insofar as submission, it either comes naturally or I'm not interested in them.


quote:



2) When a submisive or slave takes the time to write a polite, well-written letter in response to Your profile, do You appreciate the fact that he or She has given some thought and consideration to what it is that You, in particular, are looking for?


Ok.. another brutal honest moment here. I'd like to be able to answer with a resounding.. ALWAYS!.. but the truth of the matter is NO!. I try to reply to those who write sincerely, but it is totally dependent on the content, and sometimes I'm just to busy to take the time to compose and email telling them why I'm not. I 'd be online 14 hours a day If I replied to all the emails I get. So something is left to chance, kharma, or something that grabs my attention for me to reply.

quote:


3) Do You tend to discriminate against those who are not within the age group that You are particularly attracted to? Or would You consider taking on a submissive/slave who might be outside of the age parameters that You require? In other words, are Your requirements rigid, or are they open to change?


No.. my requirements are regids, If I have a bias it is towards long distance relationships as they never seem to work out, but even their I am willing to consider it. One area I'm not keen on is forced fem, or trans. While as friends they are wonderful that would not integrate well into my life and isn't what I seek, so I tend to ignore those more, I'd like to say I was poilite and always said.. thanks but no thanks.. but truth is.. sometimes I'm not.

Ms. Eden




Peescojizz -> RE: When You receive an inquiry from a sub/slave who is interested in Your profile, do You always reply? (2/13/2013 9:29:49 AM)

I expect a well written message. I find that a lot of subs/slaves think one sentence will get them a response. Join sugardaddie if you don't want to invest time or effort. As far as the other questions, I base decision on interaction and intent to please me.




OsideGirl -> RE: When You receive an inquiry from a sub/slave who is interested in Your profile, do You always reply? (2/13/2013 9:30:45 AM)

For the love of God, stop resurrecting 9 year old threads!




evesgrden -> RE: When You receive an inquiry from a sub/slave who is interested in Your profile, do You always reply? (2/13/2013 10:47:30 AM)

I wonder if she wants to be called Pee or Jizz.




SomethingCatchy -> RE: When You receive an inquiry from a sub/slave who is interested in Your profile, do You always reply? (2/13/2013 11:01:11 AM)

1. Everything is important. If someone's a pretty boy but dumb as a box of rocks guess what? I'm going to pass him over. I'm not so much concerned with anyone giving me the 'gift' of submission because no one ever asks me to give them the 'gift' of my attention span being longer than 15 minutes. It's just not fair!

2. Yes, always. I keep getting old men telling me they're going to lick me for hours for my pleasure. I also keep getting cross dressers telling me that they're going to allow me to feminize them. When someone actually gives a shit about MY interests and MY desires I perk up and pay attention.

3. I will always consider people on a personal basis. I prefer someone who's close to my age, but if someone's got something to offer that negates the negative points of their life position, why not? I think it's wise to say though that anyone over 60 is pushing my limits a bit too hard because of the gap between what I like and what he will like.




HarryVanWinkle -> RE: When You receive an inquiry from a sub/slave who is interested in Your profile, do You always reply? (2/13/2013 1:23:25 PM)

Next up: We reprint and start discussion of the Dead Sea Scrolls.




LafayetteLady -> RE: When You receive an inquiry from a sub/slave who is interested in Your profile, do You always reply? (2/13/2013 7:11:54 PM)

I just can't get over how many pages this twit had to scroll through to find 9 year old threads to post nonsense on.




BlkTallFullfig -> RE: When You receive an inquiry from a sub/slave who is interested in Your profile, do You always reply? (2/14/2013 12:49:22 AM)

Another 2004 Thread?
Maybe the reasearch advice is being taken too far. I say, start a new thread, if we have to go that far back. M




HarryVanWinkle -> RE: When You receive an inquiry from a sub/slave who is interested in Your profile, do You always reply? (2/14/2013 3:26:54 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

Another 2004 Thread?
Maybe the reasearch advice is being taken too far. I say, start a new thread, if we have to go that far back. M


That would require "her" to actually think of several subjects beyond "Hey, cash piggies, look at my profile, then send me your money."




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