RE: Blacklisting.

RE: Blacklisting. (Full Version)

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mstrjx -> RE: Blacklisting. (9/9/2010 9:03:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact Jeff, if you honestly got blacklisted in Atlanta, write Me on the other side. I may be able to put in a good word. LP, Oh, no, no, no. Not me. I always kept a good reputation when I was amongst groups. I don't think anyone ever had cause to say anything about me. I was referring to the OP, who lives in Atlanta. I moved to SW Florida 3 years ago. I quasi-sorta-when-necessary go to the local group's activities, but I haven't played publicly since I've been down here. I 'am' getting the impression, though, from the activity on Fet that the scene in California is absolutely ginormous all up and down the coast. Jeff

WyldHrt -> RE: Blacklisting. (9/9/2010 9:11:30 PM)
quote: I 'am' getting the impression, though, from the activity on Fet that the scene in California is absolutely ginormous all up and down the coast. Inland areas, too. [:D][:D][:D]

lobodomslavery -> RE: Blacklisting. (9/10/2010 3:41:06 AM)
id ignore it too. As Lady Pact says it s usually only major stuff that gets one kicked out of a group kevin

DarkSteven -> RE: Blacklisting. (9/10/2010 4:42:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mstrjx Oh, no, no, no. Not me. I always kept a good reputation when I was amongst groups. I don't think anyone ever had cause to say anything about me. I was referring to the OP, who lives in Atlanta. She lives in MD.

VaguelyCurious -> RE: Blacklisting. (9/10/2010 4:55:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kevin: [Awaiting Approval] If he's about to say he's been blacklisted by his local community I will kill myself laughing.

DesFIP -> RE: Blacklisting. (9/10/2010 6:43:23 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BoiJen Here's the thing about "ignore it" as advice in an actual, physical community. Not saying something, not getting involved and maintaining involvement during such situations is the same as an admission of guilt. Period. There's no way around it. The idea is that the only reason an individual would not address this type of issue when it comes up (defend themselves) is because they were in the wrong. My point was that it will seem odd that she's all fired up to be invited to events when she's already said she's too busy to attend. Demanding an invitation she intends to refuse is going to appear petty on her part. Which is why I suggested waiting until she actually does have time to participate. And at that point, ask what's going on and is there a problem she needs to clarify. And address it when she can accept it, not when she will turn them all down.

lobodomslavery -> RE: Blacklisting. (9/10/2010 7:19:33 AM)
No i havent actually. im looking forward to going to the munch tomorrow night, beautiful women, sparkling conversation and fun atmosphere, what more could a man/prospective sub want kevin

BoiJen -> RE: Blacklisting. (9/10/2010 8:01:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mstrjx I moved to SW Florida 3 years ago. I quasi-sorta-when-necessary go to the local group's activities, but I haven't played publicly since I've been down here. Jeff You're missing out on pretty good drama with the local stuff, lol. In all seriousness the best thing going down here is BeyondLeather but that's cuz it's an AWESOME event, only once a year and we get a national mix so everyone is on their best behavior ;-) boi

IronBear -> RE: Blacklisting. (9/10/2010 8:15:14 AM)
Since Neets and I have been black listed in a number of social organizations here in Queensland for ther simple reason I am 30 years older then my wife, I pay no heed to this as organizations or groups who are so anal are not worthy of our company to start with and in the long run the loss is theirs. BDSM wise. we are still members of one local group who have treated us well but there are those in Brisbane who have no desire to have anything to do with me. problem was that originally when I was starting tpo venture out into the public scene, I identified as Gorean which set a number of folks (who knew bugger all about the Gorean Lifestyle), and who have never met me against me . They stuill carry on like pork chops backstabbing me which I find ammusing for they believed their real identies were secret untill I contacted each and every one of them by email and phone and had a quiet chat with them. In my book, Black Listing means creating an even array of stripes or lines of bruises with a cane of cfrop which will turn black and last for many days after a good and enjoyable (for me at least) session with a willing bum. aaf81d46-4d85-40e2-9e1a-efbc82069e931.03.01

LadyPact -> RE: Blacklisting. (9/10/2010 10:08:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mstrjx LP, Oh, no, no, no. Not me. I always kept a good reputation when I was amongst groups. I don't think anyone ever had cause to say anything about me. I was referring to the OP, who lives in Atlanta. I moved to SW Florida 3 years ago. I quasi-sorta-when-necessary go to the local group's activities, but I haven't played publicly since I've been down here. I 'am' getting the impression, though, from the activity on Fet that the scene in California is absolutely ginormous all up and down the coast. Jeff Jeff, I would actually love to be in Florida, with all of the things they have in that state. I see boijen has already mentioned BL, which always lines up some fabulous presenters. I'm not in the best geographical location to attend many things in CA that I would love to be a part of. I drive two and a half hours to the munch that I attend because there's nothing stable in My own backyard munch-wise. The clubs are all hours away. Most important, there are several friends that I just don't get to see as often as I would like. Darn shame I wasn't aware of you being in the Atlanta area when I visited there so often. It would have been a pleasure to meet you.

Madame4a -> RE: Blacklisting. (9/10/2010 11:46:11 AM)
well.. I never got blacklisted in Atlanta.. but they would have liked to have kicked me out of their dungeon.. as it was I stopped my scene because they were idiots.. but that's another story... I think its REALLY hard to get "blacklisted" ... most people wouldn't listen to someone disgruntled because you wouldn't top them over the phone... is this that same guy? If not... hmmm... what do you do that pisses people off so .. [:D] but seriously.. I think you're kind of local to me.. I know people... I've got people.. grin or at least I can ask around if you'd like.. let me know what groups you're talking about.. there's only a couple.. ok.. I edited.. you live in Atlanta? I don't know why I had B;more in my brain... never mind.. and good luck png me if you want...

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Blacklisting. (9/10/2010 12:12:53 PM)
Are you sure you were "blacklisted"? And for turning down a professional CLIENT? On what planet does that happen? Ignore them, go on with school, have fun with your boyfriend. The drama mill will continue to crank out sticky goo, and when you are known, it's hard to not step in it sometimes.

MissAsylum -> RE: Blacklisting. (9/10/2010 2:07:34 PM)
the person whom i turned down wasn't a client, i found out that he was talking smack from a client who is mildly involved in the community. i'm just going to stick with the general advice of letting it go for the time being. quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus Are you sure you were "blacklisted"? And for turning down a professional CLIENT? On what planet does that happen? Ignore them, go on with school, have fun with your boyfriend. The drama mill will continue to crank out sticky goo, and when you are known, it's hard to not step in it sometimes.

mstrjx -> RE: Blacklisting. (9/10/2010 3:08:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven quote: ORIGINAL: mstrjx Oh, no, no, no. Not me. I always kept a good reputation when I was amongst groups. I don't think anyone ever had cause to say anything about me. I was referring to the OP, who lives in Atlanta. She lives in MD. Well, of course, silly..... that's why she should move to Atlanta, because she hasn't been blacklisted there. (Damn thought I had my facks-shuls straight when she joined the group. Must be the drugs.) Jeff

Tantriqu -> RE: Blacklisting. (9/10/2010 3:18:35 PM)
Anyone with a few braincells and whose opinion might matter would just see a case of sour grapes if a guy complained because you wouldn't take him on. Frankly, I wouldn't believe the client who told you, who might be stirring the gossip pot and over-dramatising just to get his other jollies, or to build himself up in your eyes.

DomImus -> RE: Blacklisting. (9/11/2010 8:07:23 AM)
Your "community" would blacklist someone over that? Time to move.

LadyConstanze -> RE: Blacklisting. (9/11/2010 11:04:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious quote: ORIGINAL: Kevin: [Awaiting Approval] If he's about to say he's been blacklisted by his local community I will kill myself laughing. I wouldn't be surprised if he was, but I doubt he would admit it. My money is on it beting a rant about dommes again.

juliaoceania -> RE: Blacklisting. (9/11/2010 12:08:34 PM)
Have you ever noticed that the people that are in your life are filled with drama? I find it hard to believe that all this drama just kinda finds you like a hapless victim. In the last couple of months you had one submissive come on here and harass you, and now you have another who is making claims about you. If you are being blacklisted, perhaps it is because drama seems to follow you wherever you go. I think you need to stay at home and reassess the people you know, because either they right, or you are not being very selective about those you allow close enough to you to do harm. If I were someone who threw parties, and such, I probably would not invite you if I had just read your posts on this board, because you seem to have very bad judgment at the very least, and I am careful about who comes to my home. I don't want drama around. Just something to consider.

LadyPact -> RE: Blacklisting. (9/11/2010 12:25:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania Have you ever noticed that the people that are in your life are filled with drama? I find it hard to believe that all this drama just kinda finds you like a hapless victim. In the last couple of months you had one submissive come on here and harass you, and now you have another who is making claims about you. If you are being blacklisted, perhaps it is because drama seems to follow you wherever you go. I think you need to stay at home and reassess the people you know, because either they right, or you are not being very selective about those you allow close enough to you to do harm. If I were someone who threw parties, and such, I probably would not invite you if I had just read your posts on this board, because you seem to have very bad judgment at the very least, and I am careful about who comes to my home. I don't want drama around. Just something to consider. I have to agree with this. The OP has literally had more problems/issues with others in her short time on the boards than I've had in over a decade in BDSM. It wasn't exactly clear in the original whether the OP had been taken off the munch announcement list or not invited to parties. A number of groups don't have access to a public dungeon and have many of their events at someone's private home where play space is available. Many times, the owner of that space reserves the right to not permit entry at gatherings if there has been a problem of some sort. This wouldn't prevent the OP from attending the munch in her area, but could be why she is no longer on the vetted member or party invite list.

Rochsub2009 -> RE: Blacklisting. (9/11/2010 2:01:11 PM)
LadyPact, I had many of the same questions. I have been an elected officer with local BDSM groups in several different cities, and I have never seen a group that would kick someone out simply because of unverified gossip. Besides, munches tend to be at public places, so it is hard to ban someone from those. And play parties are usually announced on the organization's website, so it is simple to know when those are occurring. So I'm not quite sure what this "blacklisting" thing is. Sounds fishy. No group I've ever belonged to would behave like this. But of course, my experience doesn't reflect all BDSM organizations. As far as Miss Asylum's tendency to attract drama like shit attracts flies, well, that is well-documented. I am still not sure why these things keep happening to her. I used to think that she was just a victim, but when things continued to happen as often as they do to her, she has to be partially responsible. I've been involved with BDSM for almost as long as Miss Asylum has been alive, and in all that time I haven't experienced 1/10th of the drama that she has had in the last month. What's up with that, Miss A? It may be time to take a long look in the mirror, and to contemplate what role YOU are playing in all of this drama. (BTW M.A., that's not an attack. It's a very serious recommendation for you to do some self-analysis).

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