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keyhole -> RE: Contacting Submissives on Collarme (9/10/2010 8:33:54 PM)
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In a first email I like some substance. I like information about themselves, why they decided to write me, what they liked about my profile, what they disliked, things from their experience that they think are relevant.
But far more than details, I like directness. If someone doesn't say the equivalent of "I wrote you because I'm interested in exploring whether you'd be a good slave for me" I usually don't respond. The indirect, "your profile made me laugh" or "that setence made me think" or any beating-around-the-bush that doesn't say "I am interested in you--potentially" goes in the trash bin. I'm not interested in someone who's just looking for correspondents or who hasn't the balls to state to my face that he's interested in me. That comes too close to game playing for my tastes.
I also pay close attention to how they write, much more to that than what they say, actually. Unlike Aileen, I'm not looking for anything as specific as a conversational style, formal is fine with me; but like her, I can tell within the first few sentences whether they've "got it" or not.
I read the profile before I open the mail. As long as they don't have anything in the former that makes me feel negative (for instance, incessant complainers really grate on me) or feel other unpleasant emotions, I will open the mail. That means I don't open a lot of emails, and usually when I do, they are a let down (they're usually those awful one or two word fly-by things). It's too bad that so many men with decent profiles resort to that losing style of mail--it makes me think they really don't want to meet anybody. I think to myself, "you had me hooked with the profile, buddy. All you needed was a good, personal followup" as I shake my head and delete the mail unanswered.
As for what stands out, again that is hard to quantify. It isn't any particular set of facts or personal information. It's partially in how well they communicate, convey their personality and core ideas via this medium and the few tools we're given in it and also whether I find that personality and those ideas attractive. I personally look for fire, for someone who has the potential to frighten and greatly challenge me, not safety or reassurance, but I've always been something of an adventuress. Not all submissives look for that, probably the majority don't. A lot of dorks confuse challenging someone with engendering hostility in them--I advise you to try not to make that tactical error.
For me to write a dominant and tell him I'm interested in him, requires a very unusual profile. It needs not only to be very intelligent, intriging, a good match for my needs, and so on but also open and inviting. If the individual is already involved or states he's not looking or seems closed off in some other way, I would never write and bother them, however much I held them in esteem. To me, it's a act of respect to leave a person alone who asks to be left alone. I've experienced the burden of being the object of others' aggressive regard when I was in no position to reciprocate or respond to that regard, and I really didn't like it.
Hope this helps!
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