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RE: Lurkers - 4/23/2006 8:16:22 AM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
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It could be those are the same people who slow down traffic to gawk at a car wreck. They don't necessarily stick their heads out the window and shout, but they have a morbid fascination to see what's going on.

Celeste

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RE: Lurkers - 4/23/2006 8:18:30 AM

MissyRane

Posts: 1032
Joined: 5/11/2005
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hahaaaaa it only took me a couple of month before even DISCOVERING that there was a message board on collarme

but then i just..expressed myself =P but ye I don't really understand why the lurkers don't even post 1 thing..not even a comment

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RE: Lurkers - 4/23/2006 8:18:42 AM

ExistentialSteel

Posts: 676
Joined: 1/18/2005
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I wish I had lurked a little more before beginning to post. Talk about a welcoming...

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RE: Lurkers - 4/23/2006 8:19:22 AM

OTKkindaGirl

Posts: 447
Joined: 12/26/2005
From: NW Arkansas
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fresh out of the lurker closet!!! it took me me two months before i even visited the message boards... my emails were enough to keep me busy... and i never even got a chance to go into the chats.....once i became collared the emails dwindled down and i was able to explore CM just a bit more. i sat here lurking in the darkness of my room just reading and feeling out the regulars...what triggers to avoid...you know.... all the self preservation tactics this smart submissive uses to keep from getting blown out of the water or shall we say, pushed back into the closet! lol

i haven't made very many posts yet but already i do receive emails from other "lurkers" thanking me and showing appreciation for some of the things i write. and to them i am thankful. i just love that kind of support. i am terribly shy, but i do have a few people watching over me to tell me if i screw up. i am on the boards to learn as well as share.
i find a bit of freedom here that i cannot express in the vanilla world i live in, and a girl has to have an outlet somehow.

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RE: Lurkers - 4/23/2006 8:19:33 AM

ownedgirlie

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lol i hear ya. But we survived "initiation" and here we are ;)

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RE: Lurkers - 4/23/2006 8:32:54 AM

MrRodgers

Posts: 10542
Joined: 7/30/2005
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Hey, Iam 'lurker' extraordinaire...I was class lurker in school...and am now realizing my potential, drool dripping from my mouth, sweat bead'n up on my face...moving furtively within the kinkosphere. The imagination of a nasty old dom from the past...runs wild. Anybody up for some lurking ? No matter where you are, no matter what you are doing...I just may come up to you and say...I lurk...therefore Iam.

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RE: Lurkers - 4/23/2006 8:46:56 AM

kyraofMists

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When I first joined colllarme I just lurked on the boards. Mainly because I was new and thought I had nothing of value to add. I might even still be lurking if I had not been required to post. Now I find that I enjoy it, but I mostly post only if I think I have something of value to add to a topic or question.

I find it curious that I have yet to be flamed. There have been some strong disagreements to things I have posted, but I do not consider that flaming. Maybe it is just a matter of perspective and that I don’t take it personally when people disagree with what has been said.

Knight's kyra

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RE: Lurkers - 4/23/2006 8:55:41 AM

BreakingGlass

Posts: 565
Joined: 4/8/2006
From: Spider-Skull Island
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I lurked about a week or so before joining up, and the majority of my posts are in the Polls and Other Random Stupidity threads. Why? Because I'm new to this and am in the process of learning and by the time I can think of anything to say on the more serious threads it's usually already been expressed by somebody else, so what I say would pretty much be redundant.

I use a different handle here than I do on other sites I regularly post to; this is the only "kink" site I visit.

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RE: Lurkers - 4/23/2006 8:57:19 AM

ownedgirlie

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I believe flaming is in the way one disagrees. To disagree is different than to attack or be picked on, as many here have been (I agree with you - I have not seen this happen with you). Being told, "I really dislike what you're saying" is much different than, "You are an idiot." Some with strong character, such as yourself, would not take the "idiot" statement personally. Others may be more sensitive and feel pained by such a remark. Some may enjoy and find it quite stimulating to have dialogue to such a detailed degree that posts are discussed, phrase by phrase, and still others do not. It's what makes us such a unique and diverse group.

I know of some who lurk because they enjoy reading, but do not want to open themselves up to others, even online.

< Message edited by ownedgirlie -- 4/23/2006 8:58:10 AM >

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RE: Lurkers - 4/23/2006 9:01:59 AM

gooddogbenji

Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
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I was thinking about posting on this thread, but everything of use has been said, so I'll just lurk. If anyone needs me, I'll be peeking through the blinds of the livingroom window.

Yours,

benji

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RE: Lurkers - 4/23/2006 9:10:56 AM

ownedgirlie

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LOL

Is the curtain green? Shall we call you the Wizard?

~ laughs thinking "I'm the Wiz!!" from Seinfeld....

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RE: Lurkers - 4/23/2006 9:12:42 AM

KimberlyK

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Joined: 2/9/2006
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Okay... I've been "lurking" here for probably a couple months now... I'm a talker so it's hard not to post sometimes. I'm a definite "newbie" also... I have learned so much by reading the forums and often do. The reason I don't post is that I've noticed a trend that when a new person posts..the regulars run to read their profile. There is then an "attack" on that persons profile... I am married and also no longer searching..so please don't e'mail me wanting to meet. Don't care to justify why I've made that choice that I'm so at peace with... that is why I don't post and probably won't again... The majority are people I'd enjoy a conversation with but don't care to be morally judged by people who don't know my situation.

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RE: Lurkers - 4/23/2006 9:13:24 AM

gooddogbenji

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Sure.... I think you need a brain....

Sorry, couldn't resist.

Yours,

benji

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RE: Lurkers - 4/23/2006 9:16:40 AM

gooddogbenji

Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
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KimberlyK,

If you say, up front, that you are married, and you can live with it, then to me, good job! It may not be right for everyone, but you know what you want, and you're not lying to anyone.

Welcome to the boards!

Yours,

benji

Edited to add: I did not just post on this thread. It's all in your head. I am the Lurker. I lurk in the shadows, watching, waiting. Watching. Watching. Watching. Watching. This. Watching. Is. Getting. Really. Boring. Watching.

< Message edited by gooddogbenji -- 4/23/2006 9:18:48 AM >

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RE: Lurkers - 4/23/2006 9:18:22 AM

truesub4u

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Joined: 11/17/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

I believe flaming is in the way one disagrees. To disagree is different than to attack or be picked on, as many here have been (I agree with you - I have not seen this happen with you). Being told, "I really dislike what you're saying" is much different than, "You are an idiot." Some with strong character, such as yourself, would not take the "idiot" statement personally. Others may be more sensitive and feel pained by such a remark. Some may enjoy and find it quite stimulating to have dialogue to such a detailed degree that posts are discussed, phrase by phrase, and still others do not. It's what makes us such a unique and diverse group.

I know of some who lurk because they enjoy reading, but do not want to open themselves up to others, even online.

It's nice when someone else does the typing for you.... LOL
You just said it better than I would of i'm sure.... not being one who can post to most expectations.... i've actually backed off with some of my thoughts... ideas.. opinions... and just find humor in more things... (It's part of my devious plan for some to think i'm not one to take serious because i can't be serious all the time... I like to have funnnnnn)

Edited to add.... Waves at angelic... who i've seen lurking around .... nice to know you're not forgotten isn't it?...

< Message edited by truesub4u -- 4/23/2006 9:30:37 AM >

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RE: Lurkers - 4/23/2006 9:46:29 AM

KnightofMists

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I don't know.. but I suspect that there are alot of different reasons. But, why is it important to know why people lurk? Well to me getting someone involved and participating is a good thinng.

adding people into the mix of ideas, thoughts and opinions is a good thing to the general level of dialogue that is occuring. It has been my experience the few active members to any group, the more likely the group will suffer in the long term and even become close-minded in their ideas, opinions and thoughts.

So how do active people encourage others to become involved?

As general invite.... I personally invite all lurkers to post... be it only to ask questions or express a view. I would note that maybe you seen someone say what you think or feel and hold back because of that. Well, no one posts exactly the same thing and sometimes just what and how someone says something could just be what another needs to hear! Let your voice be heard... there are some that would love to hear it..... just dont' expect anyone or everyone to agree with it.

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RE: Lurkers - 4/23/2006 9:49:27 AM

TexasMaam

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Joined: 6/22/2005
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I'm sure it's probably because they're not bitten by a voracious-all-consuming-writing-bug like the rest of us are....their cross to bear is that voracious-all-consuming-reading-bug...

TexasMaam

< Message edited by TexasMaam -- 4/23/2006 9:50:29 AM >

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RE: Lurkers - 4/23/2006 10:14:51 AM

SweetSarijane

Posts: 3788
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
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I'm more a lurker than a poster. I love to read a lot and really enjoy reading in the forums here. I've learned a lot by doing so and I've also done my small share of posting when I need feedback or advice on issues. Most of the time if I post in a thread it's because I feel I have some small thing to add and occasionally I just remark on something that made me laugh. I thoroughly enjoy reading the interactions of the regulars here. It's a very entertaining way to learn. If I'm going to post something serious either as a thread starter or to contribute to an existing thread, I generally take time to think on my reply before making it. I ofttimes want to post in a thread and stop myself for whatever reason. Maybe I should just let go and speak up more, and maybe I will, but I've discovered one can learn so much more from simply listening and reading than if you spend all your time doing the talking.

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RE: Lurkers - 4/23/2006 10:18:21 AM

MsTrez

Posts: 2
Joined: 4/23/2005
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Hmmmmm.....this is my first post, so color me a lurker. Add it to the list of things I am.... a hunter, a baiter, a gatherer, a sadist, a deviant (all proudly so)....

I have enjoyed reading everyone's thoughts and ideas here recently...but with a crazy schedule barely find the time to read, let alone write.

So hello at last to all you wonderful, creative and bright people...

MsTrez

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RE: Lurkers - 4/23/2006 10:37:15 AM

ownedgirlie

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Hello back atcha and nice to meet you :)

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