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SthrnCom4t -> RE: To be a better submissive (9/15/2010 5:27:37 PM)
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I just read this thread, minus the hijack, but I'd like to address the original post. I agree with the previous posters' advice about communication, and applaud the OP's subsequent insights and understanding of his/their unique dynamic.
Otter's 'strategy' if you will, is that he observes, and then actively initiates good service. We have very few rules in our dynamic. He gets up and fixes my tea, not because I ever asked him to, but because he thought I would enjoy it. I do, and so it's become part of our routine. So, too, with him ironing my work clothes, making my breakfast, lunch and dinner most days, and putting on/taking off my shoes/boots quite often.
I have great appreciation for a service-oriented submissive.
A word of advice re: communication
I have been in the situation of having a submissive constantly asking me what I wanted, and frankly, I found it a bit annoying. First, because my *awareness* is not always in tune with *what I want.* Sometimes, I don't know. In my profile it says, sometimes I like to drive and sometimes I like to be chauffeured. That does not mean that sometimes I don't want to be in charge....what it means is that sometimes, I want someone to offer me choices. It's incredibly endearing to have someone serving me creatively in ways I might not have thought about.
Sometimes I want high protocol, sometimes I don't. It's my responsibility to communicate, if there are specific things I want. It's Otter's responsibility to be flexible to my desires at the time.
Simply put, figure out what makes your Lady feel loved and cherished. (Otter's unlimited patience with my spontaneity fuels our great energy).
Also remember that while you will be a direct influence to her upset / pleasure, some of the time, ultimately, she is responsible for how she feels. Meaning, if you do something and she doesn't react in the way you anticipate, don't take it personally because there could be something going on that has nothing to do with you.
Having a strong and grounded partner - submissive or Dominant, is truly valuable.
Best of luck,
quote:
ORIGINAL: Charles6682
I was recently collared by my beautiful Ebony Domme,Moriah,alittle while ago.I do care about her alot.I respect her as well very much.While I do have some experience being collared,I am trying my best to be a better sub for her.I am not perfect and without a lenghty resume of being collared,I am learning as I go.I do find that learning through my submission,I am also learning to be a better person in general.I think true submission is something I can learn from to benefit my life in other area's.Of course,the most important thing is that I want Miss Moriah to be proud to have me as her submissive.While I guess you could say that she has had experience as a "Pro-Domme",I am the first true submissive that she has "collared" in real life.For me,that mean's putting her first and to alway's show her proper resepct.
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