RE: how to come across as being a sub. Coming from a vanilla background

RE: how to come across as being a sub. Coming from a vanilla background (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master

Message

EligibleOwner -> RE: how to come across as being a sub. Coming from a vanilla background (9/21/2010 1:00:53 PM)
On the musical point, Angel, I know three submissive women who are professional musicians. They're all solo performers as it happens - which I think a lot of people would assume is a sort of "dominant" role. Plus I know another slightly different sort of musician who I suspect of being submissive - but that's just my highly fallible femsub radar of course.

Twoshoes -> RE: how to come across as being a sub. Coming from a vanilla background (9/22/2010 12:09:02 AM)
I do not recommend the "order whatever you want for me" approach. I've been informed some vanilla women use that to test if their date is "controlling" (in a bad way).

sexyred1 -> RE: how to come across as being a sub. Coming from a vanilla background (9/22/2010 6:42:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Twoshoes I do not recommend the "order whatever you want for me" approach. I've been informed some vanilla women use that to test if their date is "controlling" (in a bad way). I agree. If he ordered mushrooms for me, I would be so out of there. [;)]

Twoshoes -> RE: how to come across as being a sub. Coming from a vanilla background (9/22/2010 7:54:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 quote: ORIGINAL: Twoshoes I do not recommend the "order whatever you want for me" approach. I've been informed some vanilla women use that to test if their date is "controlling" (in a bad way). I agree. If he ordered mushrooms for me, I would be so out of there. [;)] It's a game where there is little to win. Besides potentially looking like a jackass, ordering chicken or salmon will definately land you in the wuss category. So the best solution may be to literally order the most spinachy, mushroom-filled, eggplant-containing concoction on the menu. [sm=biggrin.gif]Should be fun, especially if your date is trying her hardest to be polite![sm=popcorn.gif] EligibleOwner is coming from a "Taken in hand" perspective, though. His post was a very good read, although obviously not for everyone.

viscera -> RE: how to come across as being a sub. Coming from a vanilla background (10/1/2010 5:46:17 PM)
Wow.. thank you so much. You all are so helpful. I'm very grateful! :)

AnimusRex -> RE: how to come across as being a sub. Coming from a vanilla background (10/1/2010 9:46:34 PM)
A bit late to the thread but here is my take- I don't know that you need change your behavior to be "more sub-like"; Most submissive women I have known are actually very assertive take charge people, depending on teh circumstances- for instance, most are mothers and run households, which is not a job for the faint of heart. It is one of the worst myths of the lifestyle that you must be the eyes cast down yes-sir no-sir type in order to attract a Dom; in fact, oftentimes that just masks a sly and dishonest passive aggression. I would suggest just looking for a man who you could love and enjoy being with, kinky or not. Since you are looking for a relationship that is love based and (presumably) long term, that is primarily vanilla based, the kink will take a very small part of your life. The overriding portion- the Dominance- will be just a reflection of your personalities- what I have found is that Dominant and submissive personalities just "click" in a way that two Dom/mes don't, even if they aren't consciously talking about their orientation. So looking for a Dom first and lover second might be backwards. In any case- a lifetime partner and soulmate doesn't happen every day- it may take a few years to get one that is right. Good luck.

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.03125