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The Rant That I Can't Have On Fet - 9/14/2010 8:49:56 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Yes. pissy whining follows. There will be unreasonableness, and complaint, and garbled rambling. If that's an issue, move along. I just have to type out loud here, and who better to share the GAH!! than with you, my closest Invisible Friends?

Last weekend I had a long conversation with a Person I Know who hosts one of our local parties. He is a person with History, and he remembers what went on in the past, and has the perspective of us crones and codgers of the scene. Among the things we discussed was being outspoken, sharing opinions, and ~giving back~. Part of his schmooze was wanting me to give my blessing over the event in the new space, as a Well Known Crone. He said that it was time for me to come back---and I was a bit wtf, since honestly? I only have been "away" for six months or so. Whatever. He's going to speak about Susan, AND comp my entry, so of course I said I would pick up my friend Helen and drive down with her. I am okay with that.

My issue? GIVING BACK. Really?

I've been out and about in the local "public" scene here in Detroit almost as long as there has been a public scene. (I was cautious in the 80's, when I taught school.) I have helped with events, run events, DM'd, ran a club, taught classes, brought out newbies, moderated yahoo groups, lalalalallaaaaaaaaaa. When do I get to say ENOUGH?

Susan had a group that hosted out of town folks like Midori, and Dossie Easton, and Mollena, and I was her Handy Helper Person. We were successful, but we hit the point of just not wanting to do it anymore, so that group went on hiatus. Recently we had a really successful hook pull event, and were intending to do another.... Because if you want to DO something here, for some reason, some uppity woman has to make it happen.

There is nothing for me in the Detroit scene. There are no men that interest me romantically, no likely masochists, not anything that makes me want to go out. I have a wide circle of acquaintance, folks that I am pleased to chat with, and pass banter with online. They are not my FRIENDS. They are just folks in the scene that I happen to know. I don't need the public scene to connect with my friends. I can have pervy amusements at private parties, where I can just keep the comfy couch warm if that's what I am in the mood to do.

Why exactly do I have to keep giving back? Why do I have to be the one who keeps on keeping on, when it's so very obvious that the old ways are just not that appealing to the masses? The person I spoke to has a party, and he feels that providing that party space is an important thing... and to an extent, I agree. Heaven knows I wouldn't go back to doing that kind of thing, so hats off to him!

When do we draw the line? Isn't moderating some freakin Fetlife groups ENOUGH?

Thanks for listening, or not.

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