What Do You Mean When You Say You Are Strict?

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What Do You Mean When You Say You Are Strict? - 4/23/2006 11:07:10 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

I have a question that I am seeking to have answered as someone who has only had one D/s relationship and it never came up with that partner in our negotiations or our interactions... What do you mean when you say you are "strict"? Is this something that is reserved for a scene or bedroom activites? Is this something that is all the time? Are you strict like a parent with a child? What do you mean by this word?

Whenever I have read a profile with this word posted I wonder what is meant by it, and perhaps if I had some Dominants that told me what they mean by it that would improve my understanding...Thanks for your input!

Edited for typos

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 4/23/2006 11:08:30 AM >

Post #: 1

RE: What Do You Mean When You Say You Are Strict? - 4/23/2006 11:25:36 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

I'm guessing that this will vary from one Master to another.....When I tell a girl that in House Iron Bear collars she will be kept under strict disclipline, my idea if this will differ to some degree with every other Gorean master even though it will be basicically similar.. However with those who are not Gorean, their ideas will possibly vary from slightly strict to downright draconian.....

< Message edited by IronBear -- 4/23/2006 11:26:00 AM >

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 2

RE: What Do You Mean When You Say You Are Strict? - 4/23/2006 11:43:16 AM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

With my Master and I, it means his rules and expectations are just that. If I have a concern, I may state it - once. After that it is considered nagging. Just because I state a concern, does not mean he will change his mind.

Strict means he will not yeild to me. He will not bend. He may choose to reconsider something, but if he changes his mind it is only because he chose to, not because I wanted him to or asked him to. He is the ultimate authority. His rule is consistant. There is no negotiation - life in slavery to him is simply as he says it will be. If he wants me to do something, I am expected to do it. If he says there are consequences for disobeying, then I suffer those consequences. Crying and pleading my way out of it does not exist in my world. An attempt to manipulate him by being pitiful in the hopes that he will have mercy on me and feel sorry for me is futile. He will not compromise himself to make me feel better. If at any time I do not wish to comply and obey, therefore no longer wishing to submit to him, I am free to ask for my release.

Some feel this is too harsh. I am a slave who requires such strictness. I am happiest with such boundaries, and he is generous to provide them for me.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 3

RE: What Do You Mean When You Say You Are Strict? - 4/23/2006 11:44:47 AM

MissFullFill

Posts: 4
Joined: 10/13/2005
Status: offline

The word "Strict" means many things for different people. One dictionary defines strict as: "stringent or exacting in or in enforcing rules, requirements, obligations; exact or precise; absolute, perfect or complete; exactness in the observance of rules; strict discipline."

For Me it means that if My rules and regulations are not followed properly or are just ignored, I will be very strict with the punishment and/or discipline that will follow. These rules are made for a reason and I am a stickler for having them followed My way and I will not let an offense slide no matter how minor.

< Message edited by MissFullFill -- 4/23/2006 11:46:09 AM >

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 4

RE: What Do You Mean When You Say You Are Strict? - 4/23/2006 11:46:51 AM

Nosathro

Posts: 3319
Joined: 9/25/2005
From: Orange County, California
Status: offline

Tal and greetings

I am very relaxed on subs and slaves that are not in my collar. If something happens I referr to their Master/Mistress, then let it go. If a slave is in my collar I have a stead fast rule "No topping from the bottom".

I wish you well

Nosathro

_____________________________

"The love of a slave girl is the deepest and most profound love that any woman can give a man. Love makes a woman a man's slave, and the wholeness of that love requires that she be, in truth, his slave." Magicians of Gor, page 31

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 5

RE: What Do You Mean When You Say You Are Strict? - 4/23/2006 12:18:05 PM

LadyMorgynn

Posts: 800
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: N. Carolina
Status: offline

I have certain expectations for my slave, certain standards of behavior, and I expect him to live up to those. I expect him to do as I say, when I tell him to do it. I am not slack about enforcing My rules, nor am I lenient. There will be no "testing" or pushing of boundaries. I consider Myself to be strict, and demanding as well, insofar as the above goes.

Within those boundaries, however, there is a lot of room for play and fun.

_____________________________

---
Lady Morgynn
www.farhorizons.net/LadyMorgynn

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 6

RE: What Do You Mean When You Say You Are Strict? - 4/23/2006 1:43:37 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Quite honestly most often its used as an empty buzzword- it sounds nice, gets attention, but doesn't really say anything.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 7

RE: What Do You Mean When You Say You Are Strict? - 4/23/2006 1:51:47 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Quite honestly most often its used as an empty buzzword- it sounds nice, gets attention, but doesn't really say anything.

Well if that is the case they may be chasing subs away. If someone approaches me and they have the word "strict" in their nic or in their profile I usually either pass them up if they do not spell out what they mean. Life is hard enough without having someone with a ruler waiting to smack my hands for stepping outta line. I prefer a ruler on my ass...lol. It is not like I do not respect discipline, I do from one who INSPIRES me. But the catch-phrase "strict" makes me scratch my head... so I thought I would ask to see what dom/mes mean by this... and the answers I am getting are easing my mind a little about the word...lol

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 8

RE: What Do You Mean When You Say You Are Strict? - 4/23/2006 4:00:20 PM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

If it's in a profile or someone has specifically said it to you, it probably means they're new or inexperienced and don't wanna sound like a "dom doormat". If they haven't walked the walk, there's only one option left to impress....

Focus.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 9

RE: What Do You Mean When You Say You Are Strict? - 4/23/2006 5:25:18 PM

CrappyDom

Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

Strict means - I don't know how to control you or inspire you to behave and I think being "strict" will allow me to punish you into obedience. Doesn't work with animals, children, and certainly not most submissives.

You can't be strict with a submissive, they are with you by choice as an adult, you have to either inspire them or stay one step ahead of them and manipulate them into obedience. If they genuinely desire to not obey, they aren't going to, unlike children or animals, they can leave. D/s relationships are much harder than vanilla ones, you have to have all the skills needed to make a vanilla one work well PLUS the skills needed to make a D/s one work. Just like a parent who resorts to hitting a child has already failed, trying to beat a submissive into submission is a losing battle.

I am at a point where I look at my dominance as playing the role of a loving parent. I need to provide consistency, boundaries, and encouragement in the right doses and at the right time. Withhold attention but not love when punishing, just as with an unruly child. Praise good behavior with attention and love. Done well, a submissive learns to crave being good and abhor being bad and bonds deeper with "daddy." Because the love isn't conditional, they feel safe, the consistency and the boundaries add to that safe feeling.

(in reply to Focus50)

Post #: 10

RE: What Do You Mean When You Say You Are Strict? - 4/23/2006 6:03:35 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

Strict but fair. Firm but Fair. Fair but Fair. As Riot would say. Ug. Fair. I remember that word from grammar school. But Mooooooooooooom.. that's not fair! Hell. I'm not looking for strict or firm or fair. I can get that crap from my mother. I want sick, twisted, evil, nasty, demented perversion. I don't need fair. I need dominance. I don't need firm or strict... just give me the fucking boundaries and know I'm willing to suffer the consequences of stepping outside those boundaries whatever they may be. That said, I don't step outside those boundaries on purpose, because I know my place and I like being here, but keep the strict but fair for the kidlets and treat me like an adult who happens to enjoy the dark.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to CrappyDom)

Post #: 11

RE: What Do You Mean When You Say You Are Strict? - 4/23/2006 8:28:30 PM

cillydom

Posts: 332
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

Regardless of what he may say it’s only strict if you think it’s strict.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 12

RE: What Do You Mean When You Say You Are Strict? - 4/23/2006 8:38:18 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

Strict but fair. Firm but Fair. Fair but Fair. As Riot would say. Ug. Fair. I remember that word from grammar school. But Mooooooooooooom.. that's not fair! Hell. I'm not looking for strict or firm or fair. I can get that crap from my mother. I want sick, twisted, evil, nasty, demented perversion. I don't need fair. I need dominance. I don't need firm or strict... just give me the fucking boundaries and know I'm willing to suffer the consequences of stepping outside those boundaries whatever they may be. That said, I don't step outside those boundaries on purpose, because I know my place and I like being here, but keep the strict but fair for the kidlets and treat me like an adult who happens to enjoy the dark.

Celeste

Okay I can't resit. Moooo?

Fair...yeah, I lost that word from my vocabulary a lonnnnnnng time ago...lol

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 13

RE: What Do You Mean When You Say You Are Strict? - 4/23/2006 8:44:54 PM

truesub4u

Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

LMAO.... She Said........... Mooooooooooooooooooooooom!... Not Moooooooooooooooo

Remember that long drug out MOOOOOOOOOOOM... Billy's touching me!.....

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 14

RE: What Do You Mean When You Say You Are Strict? - 4/23/2006 8:47:21 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

HA!! I need new contacts.

She must have used all those O's she saved up and it confused me....LOL

(in reply to truesub4u)

Post #: 15

RE: What Do You Mean When You Say You Are Strict? - 4/23/2006 8:50:49 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

::gives Owned a doh nut:: You've been eating too many apples. You need something sweet. ;)

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 16

RE: What Do You Mean When You Say You Are Strict? - 4/23/2006 8:54:22 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

~ smiles sheepishly and sluffs off....

mumblesaboutdippingthemincaramelnexttime....

< Message edited by ownedgirlie -- 4/23/2006 8:55:45 PM >

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 17

RE: What Do You Mean When You Say You Are Strict? - 4/23/2006 8:55:02 PM

truesub4u

Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

Bita... i'm working on that.. give me some time.... LOL

handsownedherthingofcarmelandshufflesoff

< Message edited by truesub4u -- 4/23/2006 8:57:31 PM >

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 18

RE: What Do You Mean When You Say You Are Strict? - 4/23/2006 8:56:36 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

::gets out the stop watch:: How much time, exactly, do you need? Keep in mind that I'm a literalist. lol

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to truesub4u)

Post #: 19

RE: What Do You Mean When You Say You Are Strict? - 4/23/2006 8:58:39 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

If it's in a profile or someone has specifically said it to you, it probably means they're new or inexperienced and don't wanna sound like a "dom doormat". If they haven't walked the walk, there's only one option left to impress....

Focus.

I would agree and disagree. I like the trying to sound experienced part but personally I think that it's that they watched WAAAAYYYY too much porn before writing what they believed was an "appropriate" profile.

Strict to me is more the Vin Diesel definition, "It's gonna be my way, no highway option". I'm very clear in my rules, how I want things done and with recent boys how they are expected to behave at all times. Enforcing these rules while also educating as to their necessity is part of being strict, giving warnings that outline the punishment for certain actions and following through on those punishments no matter how much I hate it is part of being strict. Knowing when this is a good idea and when it's too firm depends on the sub. Some thrive in knowing if I do A I will get response B and others that thrive in chaos will only use this type of arrangement for their own amusement.

(in reply to Focus50)

Post #: 20

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