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RE: Ever seen a sub as "out of your league"? - 4/23/2006 7:20:44 PM

MochaMistress

Posts: 275
Joined: 1/8/2006
Status: offline

Tigress,
Thank your for the advice. Maybe thats why I havent found my precious pet yet because I am overlooking painsluts.

I'm sure painsluts are worth their weight in gold. When its not my thing its just not my thing. I do enjoy administering light to moderate pain but even I have my limit as to what I will provide. Some of the painsluts I have come across require more than I am willing to do and those are the ones that I feel are out of my league. So on a whole I just by pass anyone that list themselves as a painslut because in the end we both end up frustrated.

(in reply to crouchingtigress)

Post #: 21

RE: Ever seen a sub as "out of your league"? - 4/23/2006 7:32:31 PM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

I wish you the best of luck finding him!

_____________________________

Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to MochaMistress)

Post #: 22

RE: Ever seen a sub as "out of your league"? - 4/24/2006 12:40:40 AM

LoneGoddess

Posts: 73
Joined: 1/1/2005
From: Moscow, Idaho
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Proprietrix

As I glance over the available male submissive population, it occurs to me that although some (well, ok, most) of the ones that are eliminated are due to the typical reasons (focused on their own fetish fulfillment, too sexually tunnel-visioned, etc..),
there are a few whom I have passed over based on a kind of socio-economic status. Not that they are poor.. not at all.. just the opposite. It's almost like I see some of them and I think "That'd be a good sub. Too bad he's from the other side of the tracks."

These are the ones who have obtained their doctrate degrees, have served a 2-digit number of years under a very wealthy Mistress in the House of whatever, have an income that makes my jaw drop, and now they're getting ready to retire and want to settle down and spend their hefty retirement on making a Mistress happy.

Here I am, a NOT wealthy lady (just making ends meet), in one of the poorest states in the nation, renting an apartment, never went on to get my Master's in my field, haven't donned a piece of jewelry in the last 2 years, and raising a teenager whose convinced he's part of some illusionary gang.

I'm sure part of it is all perception, but I see the above described submissive as "out of my league". Even if by some chance of fate this person walked into my life, I think it would be very awkward for me to try to Dominate him. He would be used to a lifestyle I couldn't provide.

(On the other hand, I'd know for damn sure he was truly surrendering to me and not trying to use me for money, lol)

Have any of you ladies ever seen a sub as "out of your league"? Or is it me?

I can second that "poor state" thing, Idaho isn't wealthy though we are starting to be inundated with the Hollywood crowd in some parts.

As for the league, no. I did date one here once who made it a point to try and intimidate me with his money. It backfired on him, lol. Yes, some of us are full time working ladies too, still in apartments, and doing the daily grind. Who cares? As others have said, if you have a meeting of minds and other things, the money and the overabundance of shouldn't be an issue.

If the communication is there and everything else falls into place, I say more power to you.

LG~

_____________________________

~*~
"Unless it's mad, passionate, extraordinary love, it's a waste of your time.
There are too many mediocre things in life, love shouldn't be one of them."~DfaI

(in reply to Proprietrix)

Post #: 23

RE: Ever seen a sub as "out of your league"? - 4/24/2006 1:33:51 AM

UtopianRanger

Posts: 3251
Status: offline

quote:

If the communication is there and everything else falls into place, I say more power to you.

Absolutely. The pauper has many a time married the fair maiden{and Visa versa}. The inability to communicate is the only thing I see that would fall under the criterion that would justify ''Out of your league''

PS - The measuring of socio-economic status is extremely subjective

- R

< Message edited by UtopianRanger -- 4/24/2006 1:42:14 AM >

_____________________________

"If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do... the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."

-General George S. Patton

(in reply to LoneGoddess)

Post #: 24

RE: Ever seen a sub as "out of your league"? - 4/24/2006 4:52:07 AM

MistressDREAD

Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

All subs are out of My league.

I only deal with slaves.

But apply Ebonys words said, taking out the sub and adding slave and You have Me.
Thanks Ebony for saying it just the way I would of.

(in reply to crouchingtigress)

Post #: 25

RE: Ever seen a sub as "out of your league"? - 4/24/2006 5:45:43 AM

Oumae

Posts: 911
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline

I've come across subs I am not compatible with, some who are too far away etc. Money does not mean classy tho' and if a sub does not have manners well then I'm out of their league.

Oumae

_____________________________

Is cuma le fear na mbrog ca leagann se a chos.
( The man with the boots does not mind where he places his foot)

(in reply to UtopianRanger)

Post #: 26

RE: Ever seen a sub as "out of your league"? - 4/24/2006 5:59:23 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

I don't really think in terms of "out of my league" but I do think "too different backgrounds."

See, I'm not looking for a living tool here, I'm looking for a person to join my household as another slave. That means they would have to get along with everyone.

Within my house there are three economic classes all ready so its not really economics.
me -- working class background but I'm getting my PhD
husband -- upper class background, both parents in academia
slave -- middle class background, like his parents he has a bachelor's degree

Its more cultural difference I would be concerned about. All three of us are "geeks" in terms of sci fi, gaming, computers, and we are all three either liberal or radical in our political and social leanings. We are also three non-traditional Christians. All three of us were born and raised in the midwest or by parents with midwestern upbringing.

Someone who didn't meet any of the above interests would be unlikely to get beyond a few conversations with me. Even friends tend to have common interests to draw from afterall and I think this is more the case for intimate partners (even if I don't have "sex" with a submissive or slave what we do, in my opinion, is still quite intimate).

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Proprietrix)

Post #: 27

RE: Ever seen a sub as "out of your league"? - 4/25/2006 2:16:35 PM

DiannaVesta

Posts: 1087
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Mid-Atlantic area
Status: offline

I actually read this a few days ago but could not reply right away. Many thoughts rolled around in my head and to be honest it made me think of my own life and things I have done on my bdsm journey.

As TheRose4u stated:

quote:
”I've had boys with more money and education than I have...they all look the same on their knees.”

This is very true and it made me laugh but I honestly wonder how many women really feel that way. Over the years and even here I read post from women who I feel have a difficult time with control. Too often I see allowances and excuses for what I view as insecurity more then anything else. I’m not saying this is your case, but I urge you to consider a few things.

Being a Domina/Top is about Mastery. You can look great in leather, learn how to sling a bullwhip like Robert Dante & tie knots shibari bondage expert, however no one can teach you about Mastery & being a Goddess. You can give a woman the most expensive clothes & jewelry and she may wear them like trailer trash. Have you ever noticed that some women can wear walmart like a million bucks? Being a Goddess is about the way you move and the energy your project. It really is all in the attitude. The investment you make in yourself if what earns you the privilege of being. As long as you feel you don’t stack up, you won’t.

I come from very humble beginnings. My mother worked in a factory and although I was raised in a loving family we were below middle class. We just didn’t have money. Too often I was called names and back then being Native American wasn’t cool. I didn’t have fancy clothes nor could I talk about traveling to Europe & other exotic places. Still ever since I could remember I had dreams & vision. I would lie if I said I was never intimidated but I didn’t allow that to be an excuse or reason for me to stop trying. I put myself through school, traveled the world & am a damn good entrepreneur. I command attention not because I DEMAND it. I earn it.

Be everything you can be. Never ever make excuses or ever think someone is better then you. If you want to be a Goddess and have men truly grovel at your feet then step up to that plate and ruffle your feathers. Even at your weakest moments never let them see you flinch. You can listen to all this “equal” – treat me fair shit all you want. No one ever handed anything over to me I didn’t earn in one form or another. If you want something take it as if you were entitled. EXPECT & never lower your standards. That includes the standards you set for yourself. Even if you can’t pay your electric bill and you’ve got a final notice, hold your head as if you were a millionaire. Things will turn around. If you want the adoration of intelligent, capable men who happen to be submissive, then you must earn their respect. Look up to yourself first & then everyone else will look up too.

_____________________________

(in reply to crouchingtigress)

Post #: 28

RE: Ever seen a sub as "out of your league"? - 4/25/2006 2:51:30 PM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Dear Ms. Proprietrix, Ladies and Gentlemen;

Have I ever had a submissive out of my class? A. Often. However, that doesn’t mean that I bring him into my class.

As a slave, they present the “total” package to the leather community and or the D/s and or M/s community.

A dominant packages themselves for public consumption and the slave delivers/presents.

How you see one’s self is often more harsh than those who view the package (you). We’re never satisfied so, that is why we strive to expand and improve. However, what people want most, is what they cannot afford.

Sometimes we become comfortable in sweats and sneakers. That is fine in private but, stepping out among your peers, it won’t hurt to take a bath, put on make up that is understated but enhances you; choose clothing that is black and looks as harmonious as can be. Roll your shoulders back and have confidence on what you have as a human being, confidence in what you know and that will take care of the rest.

With new female dominants, I ask them to give me their three most admired women to them. By taking the qualities of the three, most times that dominant already has them. It is just seeing in a different way others see you.

Being honest, being a good person, being respectful, being consistent and lowing your standards; are something that nobody can buy or sell. Just admired and sets a standards for those who enter into your circle.

Certainly, I agree with other dominants--those who have financial wealth should be limited, as to remain humbled and in service to you as an authority figure and not a “pay for tribute” dominant. It is good to have ethics and nobody can fault you for it.

I have seen many a rich person so poor in other ways.

But, I will also add -- That I have seen more grace and honor from those who call the hollows and mountains of West Virginia home, than those in places near Washington, DC that should know better and practice what they preach. That is why I rather be a member of CUFF (Charlottesville, VA) and other groups like CUFF, e.g. WHIP

Respect is earned --not bought.

Respect by both individuals is something rich indeed.

So, just put in the comments, those who are rich from crime and bank robberies, need not apply. That should be a good conversation piece.

Warm regards,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to Proprietrix)

Post #: 29

RE: Ever seen a sub as "out of your league"? - 4/25/2006 3:13:10 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

I have a pretty good sence of self worth. Age is no problems plenty of slaves prefer older guys. being poly with my Wife/FC is no problem as that too has advantages.. Not having a whole heap of hands on practical experience closes a few doors for me but I wouldn't have gone there anyway. I can look over a mob of likely candidates, some young and some not so, all delectable and I just grab another coffee or light up another cigarette and turn my mind to less stressfull matters. Why? Simple dynamics most of them are I immagine healthy woman with healthy sexual appitites and thanks to the on set of diabeties anda drop in circulation... well you can figure the rest.. some times it is a wise man who doesn't attemp to over reach his current capabilities....

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to crouchingtigress)

Post #: 30

RE: Ever seen a sub as "out of your league"? - 4/25/2006 3:27:20 PM

MistressDiane

Posts: 334
Joined: 2/5/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHugs

But, I will also add -- That I have seen more grace and honor from those who call the hollows and mountains of West Virginia home,

That would be "hollers" Ms. Hugs *smile*

_____________________________

Ms. Diane
"..and they who danced were thought insane by those who refused to hear the music." ~Monet

*Suffer BayBeee!!!!!*

"My treasures do not sparkle or glitter, they shine in the sun and neigh in the night."

(in reply to LadyHugs)

Post #: 31

RE: Ever seen a sub as "out of your league"? - 4/26/2006 1:10:46 AM

mons

Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline

Greeting to all

I have never felt out of my league with'
anyone submissive. I had some with many different
things, I have alway felt comfortable in my own skin

mons/jane

(in reply to Proprietrix)

Post #: 32

RE: Ever seen a sub as "out of your league"? - 4/26/2006 2:01:26 AM

Vendaval

Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline

No. I do not feel that any submissives or slaves are out of My league. Wealth, status, power, etc. are frequently very inconsistent and illusionary. Heart, mental
clarity, courage, and stamina are much more important. And what do the flimsy coverings of designer clothing matter when a sub or slave is stripped naked and bound for torment?

Hold your head up high and be proud of who you are and how you life your life.

-Vendaval-

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE

http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to Proprietrix)

Post #: 33

RE: Ever seen a sub as "out of your league"? - 4/26/2006 5:12:07 AM

mistressrose10

Posts: 56
Joined: 3/15/2006
Status: offline

I'm with EbonyFtshGoddess on this one.Who wants to Dominate someone who is unworthy? No man is out of my league by mere virtue of what he earns.I am Dominant and he is merely a man.What might be a deal breaker is that he may be a bore and we don't have much in common, I don't earn much myself and tend to be wowed more by altruism in a person rather than how many shiny things they have amassed.

(in reply to EbonyFtshGoddess)

Post #: 34

RE: Ever seen a sub as "out of your league"? - 4/26/2006 11:26:26 AM

MsRachelxxx

Posts: 31
Joined: 3/25/2006
Status: offline

my two cents is this: whatever your feelings toward others based on what you have read about them is much more indicative of your own fears etc, that perhaps either getting over or changing would also change your feelings. as in the world being what we think, not what it really is-change your mind and you change the world.

i have been fortunate, in part because i was raised in a very privaleged environment, to never be intimidated by others power or wealth.

(in reply to crouchingtigress)

Post #: 35

RE: Ever seen a sub as "out of your league"? - 4/26/2006 11:47:05 AM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline

This has been an interesting read.
No, I do not ever consider Myself to be out of a submissive's league. However, depending on the lack of compatibility, if I was to use that expression, it would be that "the submissive is out of My league".
Often it is a situation with money,. Not the lack of, but the excess of. I find boys who have a lot of money subtly use that fact to get what they want (force Me into their league, so to speak). It won't work. If they want Me and meet My requirements as a slave, I make no difference in whether the income is $1,000 per month, or $1,000,000 a month.
I can't be worried about leagues. Backgrounds do contribute to compatibility, but in the end, it is My league that counts. And My league is quite nice. It is the only one that really matters to Me.

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom

(in reply to Proprietrix)

Post #: 36

RE: Ever seen a sub as "out of your league"? - 4/26/2006 7:43:46 PM

Mlicious

Posts: 75
Joined: 8/5/2004
Status: offline

Marina Black starts with a great question, why pass on them? Personally, I have not felt out of my league. I dont feel that way in any situation, my Daddy specifically raised me not to be impressed with a little bit (or a whole lot of) money. I someone pulls that on me, I look straight through them and then say/think, "How nice for you. What else have you got?" The person has to impress me.

If anything, finding myself in such a situation - that of dominating a wealthy man - would be challenging but I believe I would be at ease shortly afterward because knowing that we share a common interest cuts across any perceived barriers. When I am around members of the fetish community I am struck and delighted by the fact that such a diverse group of people, who would otherwise not cross paths, can take the same delight in one another's company because of that common interest.

I am reminded of the end of the movie Ready to Wear, with an all star ensemble cast. Julia Roberts meets a guy, they have both lost their luggage and all their clothes. They end up spending the entire film together nude, making love, talking, and on the verge of falling in love. When their clothes arrive, they emerge dressed and she is super glamorous, very haute couture, he is an average guy in a t-shirt and jeans. Suddenly there is this huge social/economic/class barrier between them where one did not exist when they were completely nude. Suddenly they (and the audience) know that it could 'never' work. This common interest in bdsm can work to get to the heart of much of who you are as a person. While it is not everything, it is difficult enough for us to find someone with whom you click without adding the barriers you describe. If you and the person are enjoying one another, then it is not necessarily an issue. If you and the person are just playing and define when, where, and under what conditions you two will be together, all the more reason not to be concerned. If you and the person find yourselves talking about having a relationship, then, if it were me, I'd want to have a discussion about any social/economic concerns floating our heads.

I got a chance to read the last couple of posts and they get to the heart of it; subs all look the same when they are naked and on their knees! I love it! Now that's one to live by.

< Message edited by Mlicious -- 4/26/2006 7:56:29 PM >

(in reply to crouchingtigress)

Post #: 37

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