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RE: Why won't anyone talk to me? - 9/23/2010 8:19:25 PM   
rulemylife


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quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamerdreaming

Spam is a pasted message that generally goes out to whomever the spammer can see is online at the moment (but not always)- its sending everyone the same message. A mass message that doesn't mention anything specific about the person you are addressing.



I thought it was crap in a can that you buy when you're really desperate.


High angle view of a can of spam

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RE: Why won't anyone talk to me? - 9/23/2010 8:30:37 PM   
dreamerdreaming


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Well yeah. But I was trying to be all serious, an' stuff.  



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RE: Why won't anyone talk to me? - 9/23/2010 10:53:28 PM   
toxic66


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quote:

I thought it was crap in a can that you buy when you're really desperate.

I thought I told him not to appear desperate!

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RE: Why won't anyone talk to me? - 9/24/2010 6:33:37 AM   
daddysliloneds


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you could inadvertantly be sending e-mails to women who are actually men posing as women; just a thought to consider.

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RE: Why won't anyone talk to me? - 9/24/2010 8:27:05 AM   
anniezz338


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I think everyone posting has nailed it all. I know I just like positive profiles, ones that make you feel like the person was smiling when he wrote it.
Ones that tell you what they are looking for rather than a long rant about what they don't want.
And a hint of humbleness, that no matter how much experience they have, there is always more to learn.

Good luck to you

(in reply to olinkalex)
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RE: Why won't anyone talk to me? - 9/24/2010 9:21:28 AM   
tiggerspoohbear


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I'm chiming in at the last minute, and I have to agree with all the advice you were given. Your journal entry of "why you would make a good Master" doesn't sit well with me. Because you're dominating? Because you want to have wild sex? That does not a Master or a Dom make. It makes it someone who wants to be domineering and get laid. I'm not trying to be harsh, but I know it's blunt. It's also the truth.

You really do need to re-write your entire profile. Forget the pretty colours on a black background, it's much to hard to read. Go with the usual white background and dark colours for your text. It's commendable that you mentioned that you have Asperger's syndrome, but you can bring that up in a personal message once you start communication with someone. Don't wait too long, or they'll fell like you were lying and it's feel like a sucker punch. This I know from experience.

Make your profile interesting, talk about what you like to do outside of kink, what makes you tick and why you would be a good Dom. Again, as you've been told more than once, you're trying to sell yourself. Let your nature shine through in any cmails you send. Show personal interest in every submissive you contact, make her feel good about herself, make sure to include some of the things you've read in her profile.

And don't think this is going to happen overnight. I've been with a few Doms but it took me over 6 yrs to find the One who is right for me. It doesn't always work out, and you have to be prepared for that. Trading messages is one thing, living it in real life quite another. Good luck in your search and be patient.

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RE: Why won't anyone talk to me? - 9/24/2010 11:20:29 AM   
lally2


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it can take a while to find the right person - in the meantime, have you checked out youre local groups, munches where you can meet people and make friends.  from there you can learn from people about all kinds of stuff thatll be relevant to put in youre profile.

there are tons of beautiful women out there, but not all of them are looking for sweet and kind im afraid - but thats who you are and kudos for being who you are and not projecting some stupid Domly caricature.

you just need to be a little bit patient and target the profiles of women that seem to fit with youre personality and goals.

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(in reply to dreamerdreaming)
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RE: Why won't anyone talk to me? - 9/24/2010 11:46:46 AM   
angelikaJ


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Someone suggested munches/groups and that is an excellent idea.
If you look for ones with a TNG (The Next Generation) tag they are geared towards younger folks.



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RE: Why won't anyone talk to me? - 9/25/2010 12:34:27 PM   
RealSub58


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Twoshoes

And when you have that many interests listed it's hard to tell what you're most likely to end up doing tonight.

Edit: Or leave milk and cookies.


I rather doubt you REALLY live for all those things you put into your LIVES FOR interest section.  You want the submissive to live to do that stuff for you??  Seems so to me.
How can you love so much of the bdsm stuff in LOVES interest section when you probably don't have a clue in how to do most of that stuff safely.

Just be real, yourself and try not to be so impatient.


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RE: Why won't anyone talk to me? - 9/25/2010 7:37:20 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
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From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
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Before you go further in your online Domly adventures, you might want to study up so you don't look like just another an other insta-Dom trying to fish for free labor and free sex because he can't afford a domestic staff, a chauffeur or a hooker.  You may want to look at your profile from an outside perspective. 

-=What You seek=-
You seek a cook, a chauffeur and you are crazy on making love.
You say your disorder makes things hard, so you need someone to assist you around the clock.

-=What you offer=-
A 20 year old with no experience, no talents or exception traits who has a disorder that requires around the clock assistance. 

-=What girls see=-
There is nothing special about being trustworthy, funny, honest or etc.  That comes with being human.  That's like saying you have a heart, lungs etc.  Trust me, it's not a strong selling point.  All girl will see in your profile is some kid, still wet behind the ears, claiming to be a Dom seeking a sub when what he really needs is an around the clock shift of nursemaids.


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RE: Why won't anyone talk to me? - 9/25/2010 7:42:58 PM   
BentUnit


Posts: 897
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

Before you go further in your online Domly adventures, you might want to study up so you don't look like just another an other insta-Dom trying to fish for free labor and free sex because he can't afford a domestic staff, a chauffeur or a hooker.  You may want to look at your profile from an outside perspective. 

-=What You seek=-
You seek a cook, a chauffeur and you are crazy on making love.
You say your disorder makes things hard, so you need someone to assist you around the clock.

-=What you offer=-
A 20 year old with no experience, no talents or exception traits who has a disorder that requires around the clock assistance. 

-=What girls see=-
There is nothing special about being trustworthy, funny, honest or etc.  That comes with being human.  That's like saying you have a heart, lungs etc.  Trust me, it's not a strong selling point.  All girl will see in your profile is some kid, still wet behind the ears, claiming to be a Dom seeking a sub when what he really needs is an around the clock shift of nursemaids.



Quoted for Truth.

RS dishes the Tough Love.
Sorry, child, you had it coming.

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
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RE: Why won't anyone talk to me? - 9/25/2010 8:15:34 PM   
BonesFromAsh


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~fast reply~

After a quick glance at the OP's profile, it's nice to see how open he is to advice and change.
(typed in sarcasm font)

(in reply to BentUnit)
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RE: Why won't anyone talk to me? - 9/25/2010 8:16:22 PM   
Cy83r


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Joined: 9/24/2010
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Tough love is the best kind of love, in my humblest of unhumble opinions.  It helps you look at yourself and seriously ask the hard questions because it's not just self-doubt, it's someone else pointing out your weak spots, it's someone honest and caring enough to risk harming your ego, no matter how inflated or deflated it may be, to provide useful advice that is uniquely specific to you and your problems.

Everyone here, seems to care a great deal that us newbies feel comfortable while still being able to succeed and so far I've found all of their advice to be very helpful.

Here's wishing the OP the same fortitude, perserverance, and [anxious] patience I've learned to provide for myself.

(in reply to BentUnit)
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RE: Why won't anyone talk to me? - 9/26/2010 4:33:34 AM   
CHERRYSHOCKING


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I only respond to the most unique messages I get. Everyday my inbox is full and i get sick of it really easily. So make your messages stand out from the rest. Really read the persons profile and attach a photo that might appeal to them. Also, as a mistress, I hate desperate subs. Confidence is key. Just like in the real world.

(in reply to dreamerdreaming)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Why won't anyone talk to me? - 9/26/2010 5:11:59 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
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From: Savannah, GA
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dont worry ,Cherry.. once your profile falls off the 'new members' list, the email will drop.

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RE: Why won't anyone talk to me? - 9/26/2010 7:02:54 AM   
CHERRYSHOCKING


Posts: 17
Joined: 9/21/2010
Status: offline
Good, Its driving me nuts. Its so hard to sort through the crap and the genuine people you want to actually talk to.

@ olinkalex after posting before I went and had a look at your profile. You really should change the colors! Also, you really need to be more assertive. Subs should respect their Dom, but its hard to respect someone that doesn't demand it. You need to start being much more strict and assertive. Stop saying "why won't people talk to me" start saying "People WILL talk to me.. or else!"
http://www.bestslavetraining.com/128bsrules.htm this is a good read. A Dom must always exert his authority.

(in reply to GreedyTop)
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RE: Why won't anyone talk to me? - 9/26/2010 7:21:10 AM   
tiggerspoohbear


Posts: 19141
Joined: 6/27/2010
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OMGF the 128 rules. Sorry, but I read them, and had to laugh. A slave may be considered an "object" but she's still a human being. And that seems to be forgotten in the "rules".

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RE: Why won't anyone talk to me? - 9/26/2010 10:39:36 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline
Dear CherryShocking,
I love it when one bullshitter tries advising another bullshitter with bullshit advice.  Being a sadist, I enjoy calling posers out on the tiles and either you were trying to trick the noob OP into reading the "128 slave rule" farce or you thought it was real. . . which is silly. 

Next thing you're gonna' tell me is all those profiles on AFF aren't fake and CastleRealm's wasn't a total fantasy who's creator made two ID's, invented a relationship and pretending to be his own slave. . . posting and confirming a series of fake BDSM information he made up off the top of his head, confirming that info with a series of alt ID's.  Seriously, next time you try and impress us with your domly knowledge, don't use CastleRelm material, you'll get in trouble every time and end up looking silly.  You're cute as hell and most guys don't mind fucking silly girls but give the rest of us a break and step away from the CastleRealm material. 

Best Wishes,
Kalon Eric


Speaking of fake, I am just taking a wild guess here but . . . it is quite possible the OP is writing to those girls with professional looking pictures (fake porn pics) posted by Nigerian scammers.  If I were a scammer, I wouldn't waste my time writing back to someone posing as a Dom fishing for a free nursemaid either.  If the OP is gonna' fool himself that the posers he writes are real, he might as well post a profile that says he is 'shit gold bricks' wealthy, has a terminal disease and looking for wife to leave it all to.


_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.


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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Why won't anyone talk to me? - 9/26/2010 11:06:25 AM   
tiggerspoohbear


Posts: 19141
Joined: 6/27/2010
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RS

_____________________________

"RABBIT IS GOOD, RABBIT IS WISE".

"I'm a baaa-aaad pussycat".


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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Why won't anyone talk to me? - 10/3/2010 8:31:55 PM   
submissivemale22


Posts: 428
Joined: 3/4/2008
From: CinCity
Status: offline
here is the thing.. you list a disorder that nobody has heard of (asperger's), and liken it to autism. well, no offense but the perception of autism is not good. it is one thing to be up front, but you are basically advertising stuff that will turn them away. my advice would be to establish a relationship, and once they see that you are capable of being normal in your interaction, then you can disclose if you feel it is necessary.

(in reply to olinkalex)
Profile   Post #: 40
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