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Real life issues hindering moving forward? - 9/23/2010 9:50:26 PM   
anniezz338


Posts: 1183
Joined: 8/17/2010
Status: offline 		Hi all, like the boards here. My real life issues unemployment and perimenapause. I'm good for several more months financially and have back up plans but it is a distraction. The perimenapause is playing havic with my period and good deep intercourse can trigger blood.

Is this baggage or am I making it baggage? The blood thing really messes with my mind and can be a real buzz kill.....

Should I just pull back trying to meet a Dom and get my affairs in order? It could literally take a few years to get through this menapause #$%#. What do you ladies think?

Guys too....can take all hard opinions, including that's just plain gross. Thanks all

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RE: Real life issues hindering moving forward? - 9/23/2010 9:55:32 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		Do you honestly have to ask if having financial and job issues and hormonal issues are considered baggage?

Seriously, life issues continue to affect all of us and if you are coping with them, they are not baggage.

Baggage is when you have issues from past situations or experiences that have left you unable to function at optimum levels. Baggage is something you may be carrying forward from unfinished business or from being in past relationships. That is baggage.

Being unemployed and needing to survive, not baggage. Being perimenopausal? Not baggage, simply a part of life as one ages.

Whether you want to add seeking a Dom to all that, if you can fit it in, fine. If it is adding stress, take a break.

Life does not stop whether you are seeking a job or a Dom.

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RE: Real life issues hindering moving forward? - 9/23/2010 10:03:10 PM   
anniezz338


Posts: 1183
Joined: 8/17/2010
Status: offline 		lol....yes I honestly have to ask. I get responses when I tell it like...I see. And I've witnessed the buzz kill first hand...lol. No real hang ups, just in a bad spot.

thanks for your reply

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RE: Real life issues hindering moving forward? - 9/23/2010 10:07:44 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		/Runs away screaming/

Go get a job.  IMO, you're not stable enough to be able to support a relationship now because I see a possible relationship as leading to a LOT of drama that will end up interfering with your job search.  Deal with that at the moment.

After that and the stress of being unemployed is over, see if the lower stress reduces your female issues.


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RE: Real life issues hindering moving forward? - 9/23/2010 10:14:50 PM   
Twoshoes


Posts: 1218
Joined: 7/27/2010
Status: offline 		If it makes you feel any better, I came to terms with the fact that blood is a part of women's sexuality years ago.

I got another 30 years to get over the menopause thing, though.

Good luck.

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RE: Real life issues hindering moving forward? - 9/23/2010 10:26:35 PM   
MistressRosalyn


Posts: 908
Joined: 8/16/2009
Status: offline 		I understand what you are talking about with the spotting issue. You can be just going along fine, and then POOF! You've got a mess on your hands! It's usually just a little spotting, but who wants to leave a mess on a new lover's bed?

Who was it on that other post who suggested using a diaphragm during your period? SexyRed, was that you? *Looks it up*
YEP! It was you! Now THAT is a really good idea. Get a diaphragm from your OB/GYN, and when you are having sex, try the diaphragm to keep things from getting icky. Since it should only be some spotting, it should work.

Sounds like you are in an OK position with a few months of cushion, but I would focus on what is important, before what is fun. Once you have the job thing sorted, go have fun! 

< Message edited by MistressRosalyn -- 9/23/2010 10:44:03 PM >

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RE: Real life issues hindering moving forward? - 9/24/2010 4:10:00 AM   
DesFIP


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From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		If you have some medical insurance, go see the doctor. Because sometimes menopause or peri can bring on problems such as endometriosis. And if that's what's causing the spotting/bleeding then it won't subside automatically once the hormones drop.

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RE: Real life issues hindering moving forward? - 9/24/2010 6:28:40 AM   
daddysliloneds


Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline 		real life issues don't keep us from moving forward, in as much as they keep us in focus as to our priorities; a worthwhile partner understands and expects 'real life'.

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RE: Real life issues hindering moving forward? - 9/24/2010 7:17:57 AM   
anniezz338


Posts: 1183
Joined: 8/17/2010
Status: offline 		Thanks all for your thoughts. It's crazy really...lol.

But I am a just keep moving person. Like I am working on getting a couple of certifications right now in my field (schooling and menapause is criminal, trust me) and a few other irons in the fire for potential income. Looking for work is TOP priority and working on backup is second.

Yes, lack of medical insurance is an issue. And that's just that.

So since I am a just keep moving person, I want to move forward this....lol. Go figure. Still pondering it.

Oh and bought a 30 ft RV for second home....lol. So roof over my head covered. It's pretty cool, I like it alot.

< Message edited by anniezz338 -- 9/24/2010 7:29:04 AM >

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RE: Real life issues hindering moving forward? - 9/24/2010 10:22:06 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		For the meantime, park it in a RV park and rent it out. No reason it shouldn't be earning for you.

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RE: Real life issues hindering moving forward? - 9/24/2010 11:27:17 AM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: anniezz338

Thanks all for your thoughts. It's crazy really...lol.


Yes, lack of medical insurance is an issue. And that's just that.



In the greater Houston area there are low income healthcare options:

http://www.sjmctx.com/ourservices_clinics.htm

http://www.shifaclinichouston.org/document/Clinics_Listing(1).pdf

Those should get you started.

Survival is a priority and so that makes employment a priority, but neither should you ignore your health as that too is a survival issue.

If the doctors who check you out say everything is ok then I wouldn't worry about the blood.

Although I can understand about it being a headspace thing... is that because it grosses you out or more because you are worried about the potential of turning off a new partner?

There are some male partners who just accept it as a fact of life.
Mine does.



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RE: Real life issues hindering moving forward? - 9/24/2010 12:05:59 PM   
anniezz338


Posts: 1183
Joined: 8/17/2010
Status: offline 		Thank you for the links angelikaJ.....I'll definately check them out.

Ok, got a message to my doc for referral. Gotta take the plunge.

More worried about my partner being turned off than me.

< Message edited by anniezz338 -- 9/24/2010 12:44:55 PM >

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RE: Real life issues hindering moving forward? - 9/24/2010 12:46:13 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		The first link are the clinics affiliated with St Joseph Medical Center. I think I would try there first as if you need care that is more advanced than what they can handle and it sounds like you may, if you are already on sliding scale with them they may be able to facillitate a smooth transition for hospital/women's center care.

edit: clarity

< Message edited by angelikaJ -- 9/24/2010 12:47:24 PM >

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RE: Real life issues hindering moving forward? - 9/24/2010 3:33:39 PM   
hausboy


Posts: 2360
Joined: 9/5/2010
Status: offline 		Hi Anniezz338....

Sounds like a whole lotta life going on.  There are plenty of women (I suspect...looking at various age profiles) who are going through menopause (or have been there already).  That shouldn't stop you from living--and pursuing what you seek--I second the advice to speak with your physician, particularly about the spotting and periods.  If the diaphragm isn't for you, I've often kept a stack of dark colored towels to use for such occasions when my partner was having her period.  

Unemployment? You and just about everyone else I know these days.  Obviously, looking for gainful employment should be a priority, but it doesn't automatically disqualify you from the dating pool.  I disagree with the previous poster that this makes you seem "unstable" and not ready for a relationship. Being unemployed is not a judgement value--it's a state of the economy, and sometimes, shit happens.

Good luck with your job search....your health issues...and utlimately, finding what you seek.

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RE: Real life issues hindering moving forward? - 9/24/2010 6:57:44 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		Unfortunately, I am still pre-menopausal and having a variety of health issues because of it. I have a good number of years to deal with this yet. We talk about it, he's aware of the issues. I think you should do the same. When my health was at it's lowest before the 6th drug started to work, we had discussed not doing impact play should I need emergent medical care. You have to put your health first and hopefully your partner does as well. I feel for you, but I wouldn't let this slow you down that much. We all have health issues as we age. You're not alone.

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RE: Real life issues hindering moving forward? - 9/25/2010 5:49:40 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		If it turns out the spotting is not something to worry about, may I suggest buying dark red sheets or towels. The blood won't be nearly as visible as on white so your partner shouldn't worry about it when he can't really see it. All he'll need to do is ask if you're okay. But do mention it in a way that makes clear the fact that it is a nonevent in your mind.

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RE: Real life issues hindering moving forward? - 9/25/2010 6:52:19 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I have been perimenopausal for a couple of years, and my doctor said that it would continue probably for 10 years. II started menstruating heavily twice a month. Mostly I feel completely normal, but the heavy periods and having them so close together really got me down. They gave me the option of having a mirena IUD, and it made the quality of my life improve dramatically. It may not be an option for you, but for me it means not having a period very often, and when I do get one, it is generally only mild spotting for a few days....

I have none of the other symptoms of menopause.... no night sweats, irritability, etc

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RE: Real life issues hindering moving forward? - 9/25/2010 6:52:54 AM   
anniezz338


Posts: 1183
Joined: 8/17/2010
Status: offline 		Well, it is not painful, so that's not an issue. So, I'll be on my 4 pap in a year when I get an appointment set up. You see, I bleed during the paps too! So there is too much blood for them to get a good culture to test for cancerous cells. If I could just get one good culture, and get a yes or no with that, I can move on to the options I need to per the answer.

The good thing is I'm not pregnant and am STD free........3 times this year....lol

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RE: Real life issues hindering moving forward? - 9/25/2010 6:55:18 AM   
anniezz338


Posts: 1183
Joined: 8/17/2010
Status: offline 		thanks julia, I'm going to look that up and see if it's a close fit and bring it up to the doctor. Glad to hear your through the worst of it and things are good!

< Message edited by anniezz338 -- 9/25/2010 6:59:48 AM >

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RE: Real life issues hindering moving forward? - 9/25/2010 8:46:24 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		Medical issues are not "baggage".  That's just life.  Everyone has something (more or less)... even if it is that they are obsessively healthy. 

No job?  Yeah, I'd say that's an issue.  I don't want a partner who doesn't have a job.  I'd probably go on a date or two, but I'm clear that I don't want to carry someone else financially.  However, a year from now, when you have a job and you're settled into your routine, sure. 

Maybe, though, that's my baggage. 
I'm ok with it.

best,
sunshine

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