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Desire for Punishment - 9/27/2010 12:29:29 AM   
fallenangel17


Posts: 17
Joined: 1/5/2010
Status: offline 		i am interested in others thoughts on this:

i desire punishment almost daily. Perhaps because recieving it is difficult given my situation.

My question is....is this a normal occurance in submissives? and if so i know it is ultimately up to my Dominant to determine when it is warranted...but other than flat out asking for punishment what is a submissive to do in order to have this need in her met?

i am willing to earn what i seek. i do not mean to demean and understand simply asking is okay...just welcoming a more in depth thought and experience from others. The psychology of it...things like that. How others have handled this need.

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RE: Desire for Punishment - 9/27/2010 12:39:47 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		cross posting.. BAD.

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RE: Desire for Punishment - 9/27/2010 12:47:06 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		I kept a daily routine to keep my girls in their place.  I spanked them first thing in the morning to remind them of their relationship role as my slave.  I would wake up and before I got out of bed, the question is asked, "have you had your spankings yet today?"  Starting their day with a brutal but orgasmic spanking that left their cheeks burning like fire for several hours served as good reminder of their place.

I don't know if that is what daily punishment does for you.  Does it reassure you of you place or is is it just a physical craving?


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RE: Desire for Punishment - 9/27/2010 12:48:39 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

cross posting.. BAD.

Thanks for heads up, I was typing while you posted.  I hate burning time on a reply that is gonna get deleted. 

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RE: Desire for Punishment - 9/27/2010 12:52:23 AM   
fallenangel17


Posts: 17
Joined: 1/5/2010
Status: offline 		As i am new to posting questions i did post my question in a couple different places wanting feedback from Masters and submissive/slaves. i am not sure what 'cross posting" means...i simply seek information.

Thank You, Resident Sadist for replying.

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RE: Desire for Punishment - 9/27/2010 12:54:05 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fallenangel17

As i am new to posting questions i did post my question in a couple different places wanting feedback from Masters and submissive/slaves. i am not sure what 'cross posting" means...i simply seek information.

Thank You, Resident Sadist for replying.

If you want replies from both, post in General BDSM.


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RE: Desire for Punishment - 9/27/2010 1:01:27 AM   
fallenangel17


Posts: 17
Joined: 1/5/2010
Status: offline 		Thank...good to know.

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RE: Desire for Punishment - 9/27/2010 7:25:32 AM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		Hmm   -  issue   - are you looking for punishment for things you have done wrong unwittingly?

If not, then it isn't punishment you are looking for - it's pain play, and in my dynamics, i simply ask for it - and generally, it is given willingly. But then, my Sirs are very kind that way! *grins*                                and you know what/  given enough attention, i find my desire for pain play can be sated.   Very cool!

Anyway, it works for me    - maybe you could give it a try.

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RE: Desire for Punishment - 9/27/2010 8:17:17 AM   
NorthernGent


Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fallenangel17

i am interested in others thoughts on this:

i desire punishment almost daily. Perhaps because recieving it is difficult given my situation.

My question is....is this a normal occurance in submissives? and if so i know it is ultimately up to my Dominant to determine when it is warranted...but other than flat out asking for punishment what is a submissive to do in order to have this need in her met?

i am willing to earn what i seek. i do not mean to demean and understand simply asking is okay...just welcoming a more in depth thought and experience from others. The psychology of it...things like that. How others have handled this need.




Punishment ain't fun....and it ain't nice.....I would question the wisdom in anyone desiring punishment...not sure why anyone would want to be in a constant state of guilt..anxiety...doubt and possibly isolation...which inevitably come with punishment.....

But then I suppose it depends on your version of punishment.....

Me? It would only be used in an extreme case.....sort of along the lines of.....you can have it the nice way...where the relationship runs smoothly and enjoy all of the benefits from that....or you can learn the hard way with all the negative emotions that are bound up in that.....a taste of the hard way may bring someone to her senses......but then I'd like to think I can employ my reason to pick a woman who understands that life is far easier when we play within the rules.

Surely you want a peaceful existence?

I would say you need to learn a little about yourself first and foremost....where are these desires coming from? Do you really need them? And understand the consequences too.....for you as a person...your self-esteem etc...and for your relationship. Are these desires going to cause you a lot of grief when you could do yourself a favour and have it the easy way? i.e. are they a positive factor in your life? Primarily....what is it that makes you think that punishment is useful for your life and your development?

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RE: Desire for Punishment - 9/27/2010 8:19:52 AM   
January


Posts: 891
Joined: 4/17/2004
Status: offline 		FR

Hi fallenangel,

So why is it difficult for your dom to deliver punishment? Is this an online relationship? Is this long distance?

If so, my first guess is that you don't want pain, just attention. Ask for attention.

January

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RE: Desire for Punishment - 9/27/2010 8:20:59 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fallenangel17

i am interested in others thoughts on this:

i desire punishment almost daily. Perhaps because recieving it is difficult given my situation.

My question is....is this a normal occurance in submissives? and if so i know it is ultimately up to my Dominant to determine when it is warranted...but other than flat out asking for punishment what is a submissive to do in order to have this need in her met?

i am willing to earn what i seek. i do not mean to demean and understand simply asking is okay...just welcoming a more in depth thought and experience from others. The psychology of it...things like that. How others have handled this need.




I am confused. On the other thread you said you bolt after seeing your Dom and don't wish to see him for one or two weeks afterwards.

So how is it that you now want punishment daily? How would that work?

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RE: Desire for Punishment - 9/27/2010 9:27:54 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		To begin, I think you have your terms confused.  The term punishment is related to a type of corrective action, usually involving some sort of consequence, for an offense.  If your in a situation where you are doing enough incorrect things to warrant "punishment" daily, something isn't right.  Real punishment is something that, if being used properly, doesn't happen nearly as often as people would like to make it out to be.

What you're more likely referring to, is something more commonly known as "maintenance spankings" much like RS alluded to above.  These can help meet the desires for pain on a daily basis, remind folks of their place within a dynamic, and help them feel more connected to their Dominant through the activity.  In My opinion, they can be very healthy for someone who craves a daily interaction of this type.  Much like some folks feel closer to their partner if they take the time in the morning before they start their day with an embrace.

I would suggest that you do some research on maintenance spankings and discuss the matter with your Dominant.  If you are not in a 24/7 living arrangement, perhaps the two of you can come up with a plan that will work for you.


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RE: Desire for Punishment - 9/27/2010 11:16:56 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		What LadyPact said, but with a different font color.

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Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: Desire for Punishment - 9/27/2010 11:28:15 AM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		Hello!

When you say "punishment" what form of punishment do you mean?

And, what is the punishment for?

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RE: Desire for Punishment - 9/27/2010 12:33:41 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Do you feel guilty on a daily basis and wish to be punished in order to be forgiven? Or do you just want a certain amount of pain/impact play daily.

Because the two are entirely different. I know he'd be pretty tired if I announced every damn night that I missed a crumb while washing up or didn't cut the carrots to exactly the same length and needed punishment. But if there are no kids around and I drape myself invitingly over his knee during a commercial he has no problem giving me a spanking. If the games at an important point, I probably won't get more than a commercial's length. If he doesn't care who wins, then I might get a long one.

But it is not uncommon for subs to want a maintenance spanking, or for dominants to decide to do this. Whether this means nightly, or every morning, or just Sundays is up to the dom and both your schedule. Talk to him about what you want and why. And if he says no, he's busy, then accept that we can't always get what we want.


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RE: Desire for Punishment - 9/27/2010 3:19:11 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I evade punishment as much as I can. It's not fun in any way whatsoever and just makes me want to do everything I can to make whatever wrong I did right.

Now if you're talking about just playing everyday..yeah when I was young and full of energy I wanted it every single day.

Now that I'm older I don't desire it every single day. I'm too tired after work and I just don't have the energy. Thankfully we're both at that same level in our lives so it works.

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Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Desire for Punishment - 9/27/2010 3:25:29 PM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

What LadyPact said, but with a different font color.


LOL!


OP, I don't have a reward/punishment dynamic with my slave. FUNishment, yes- we love that. But not true punishment. If you need more FUNishment in your life, you should be able to discuss this frankly with your dom. Why can't you get it more often?

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RE: Desire for Punishment - 9/27/2010 6:53:12 PM   
FredW


Posts: 27
Joined: 9/1/2010
Status: offline 		I can't imagine why you can't get as much punishment as you like.  But maybe your Dom is waiting for a reason.  Try spilling his coffee or disturbing him when he is doing something else.  He may want an excuse.

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RE: Desire for Punishment - 9/27/2010 10:15:46 PM   
gungadin09


Posts: 3232
Joined: 3/19/2010
Status: offline 		For me, receiving discipline is cathartic. It relieves me of guilt. Where the guilt comes from, i don't know. But, i know what You mean.

pam

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Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Desire for Punishment - 9/28/2010 1:38:09 PM   
Arturas


Posts: 3245
Status: offline 		Greetings,

kajirastar desires being bound and spanked and "marked". Many, many submissives do. This activity cannot be used a punishment because she loves it. On the other hand, seeing me displeased destroys her. I've observed this behaviour is very common in the natural submissive girl. The girl wired to be submissive will be destroyed easily with her masters look and no girl desires this and the master must be careful not to crush her spirit. One can say it is a balancing act if you "ask a master".

Be well,
Arturas

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Profile   Post #: 20
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