What keeps someone out of sub-space? (Full Version)

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heartfeltsub -> What keeps someone out of sub-space? (4/24/2006 6:57:12 AM)

Hello,

i have been reading the past posts on subspace in search of an answer about if i am keeping myself out of subspace by not relaxing and fighting the pain, but i have not found anything that specifically answers the question that i have. i know the each submissive is different, and each person feels sub-space differently. my question stems from a recent playing experience where the Dom made a comment about my fighting the endorphins by not relaxing and not focusing on breathing out the pain and i am wondering if that is what i am doing. If by relaxing between painful stimuli (i always feel them as pain) and not staying tense would have a different result and allow me to actually go into sub-space. (hope all that makes sense) So i was wondering if someone else had experienced the same thing and if relaxing and the lamaze type breathing helped. Thank you.



Tikkiee -> RE: What keeps someone out of sub-space? (4/24/2006 7:05:24 AM)

The only thing I could say is to do what he has recommended and relax. It may happen, it may not happen. What causes the problems is when one starts to think that something is wrong because it is NOT happening. This is just not true. Everyone reacts to pain differently. Some reach space with little or no effort; others never reach it.
I, personally, make an effort to not go into subspace. I want to feel each and every strike made against my skin. I want to feel the gain in intensity from pleasure to pure pain. That is what I get the most intense feelings from.
My advice though would be to just not worry about it. It will either happen, or it will not. Worrying about it though will just make you more frustrated [:)]



ownedgirlie -> RE: What keeps someone out of sub-space? (4/24/2006 7:07:36 AM)

Keep in mind, while some people get off on pain, others do not.  Various avenues might contribute to leading someone into subspace, and those avenues may differ, depending on the person.  I for one very rarely get there by pain, and most often get there by extremely intense orgasm.  Once there, I handle and even crave pain (sometimes - I am a bit of a pain wimp). 

Relaxing is key, however.  If you focus too much on what is going on, rather than allowing what is happening to be received into you, then your mind may try to control your own reactions, thus prohibiting you the experience. What helped me most to achieve such a destination, was, instead of "trying to get myself there," I simply allowed it in.  I opened up my mind and body and allowed whatever was going to happen to simply happen, rather than trying to push myself there on my own.  I learned that when Master was training me to have stronger orgasms.  Rather than "pushing them out," I let him into me...I let the orgasm come into me and take me over...  For me it's really all in the mind.




LuckyAlbatross -> RE: What keeps someone out of sub-space? (4/24/2006 7:11:55 AM)

What they said.

I don't get off on pain- it hurts.  You aren't necessarily doing anything wrong or that prevents you from going into subspace- it's just how your body is.  You can try other things- perhaps a longer warm up, perhaps a different item, perhaps a different rhythm, perhaps a different place on the body...many factors involved.

Or it might simply now be how your body/mind works.  I don't go into subpsace during pain scenes. 

If this is something both want to try, you need to give it time and a lot of experimentation.  What's the point of a scene if you're too focused on some end point to enjoy the scene itself?  Subspace is nice, but it's not what makes a scene, and plenty of subs don't ever go into subspace, or do so rarely.



mixielicous -> RE: What keeps someone out of sub-space? (4/24/2006 7:42:36 AM)

i find with deep breathing you can greatly manipulate your condition [i pratice it while masturbating out of bordem]

the way you breathe can completely change your orgasm [slow deep in and hard slow extended out]

i find that while in a scene or whatev, it also has effect. when i am being spanked or whatnot, i try to be as relaxed as possible. i try to adsorb every hit and dont forget to breathe, it gets the blood flowing. extra O2 to the brain too.

i find that being tense and forgetting to breathe just makes it hurt more. altho, thats ok too me [;)]

edit to add, it usually takes a pretty hardcore scene for me to hit SS - a lot of pain.



heartfeltsub -> RE: What keeps someone out of sub-space? (4/24/2006 8:06:15 AM)

Thank you very much for your answers, i also don't like pain at all, i get fulfillment from submitting to something that i don't like, but i hate the pain, which i think is why i tense. Although i am currently playing with a sadist, so there is always pain involved to some degree (grinning).  The last time W/we played i didn't seem to really go into any sort of sub-space until after a huge orgasm, but then i was gone, couldn't hardly walk, hold my head up with being dizzy. Thank you again for your help.



mixielicous -> RE: What keeps someone out of sub-space? (4/24/2006 8:08:59 AM)

i dont enjoy pain either, its misery - it stings, burns, its humiliating in general i would allow someone to inflict such a thing

but - for some reason, it works better for me than 'vanilla foreplay' in the sense of arousal. so, maybe if you try embracing the pain [thats what i attempt to do] it will show a different light?



heartfeltsub -> RE: What keeps someone out of sub-space? (4/24/2006 8:37:49 AM)

And how exactly does one embrace the pain, other than trying to relax and do the breathing thing?



littleone35 -> RE: What keeps someone out of sub-space? (4/24/2006 8:48:00 AM)

Well for me it is different pain does not bring me into subspace i hate pain.  However when Master is teasing me big time then finally gives me release that sends me straight into subspace, but as you said it is different for everyone you have to find what works for you.  Relaxing may help.

Matt's littleone



Tikkiee -> RE: What keeps someone out of sub-space? (4/24/2006 9:01:46 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub

And how exactly does one embrace the pain, other than trying to relax and do the breathing thing?

Much the same way you embrace an orgasm as it washes over you.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: What keeps someone out of sub-space? (4/24/2006 9:27:10 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub
And how exactly does one embrace the pain, other than trying to relax and do the breathing thing?

*shrug* Got me.

I've been playing with "heavy" sadists for almost 8 years now.  I've experienced a fairly wide range of painful sensations- they all hurt and I don't embrace them, even though I've tried a fairly wide range of techniques for doing so.

Pain hurts.  After the pain, after I know the pain is gone and won't be coming back right away, I can let go.  During the pain, not at all.



heartfeltsub -> RE: What keeps someone out of sub-space? (4/24/2006 9:30:09 AM)

that sounds more like my experience, it is afterwards that i am able to let go.



OTKkindaGirl -> RE: What keeps someone out of sub-space? (4/24/2006 10:18:01 AM)

subspace to me is a point where my mind disassociates from what is happening to me physically and i actually have different colors i will pass through while i am there.  i know this may sound odd.  while in subspace i still feel each blow but it is more like thumping.  how i get there?  i guess it is an acceptance of pain, doubting that i can take one more is usually when suddenly my body quits flinching, my breathing does slow down, i can even feel my heart slow down, almost as if i am one with the whip, paddle, crop, or whatever is causing it and i actually start moving in and rising up to meet each sting as if encouraging more force.  *i have no training in yoga or tantric and know litte about them but i equate the state of mind to those two things.

my Master always knows when i have reached subspace because he will stop the scene immediately (which is usually in the color red, sometimes the burnt orange) at which point i do feel like a rag doll as he releases me.  yes, i do cum over and over again throughout the whole scene.... in subspace there is a huge thunderhead of an orgasm building just waiting for release and once the pain scene is over, subspace for me can be maintained by immediate sexual dominance in which i can pass through the yellow and white colors.  it takes me a while to come back from subspace though and usually that is when the tears start to flow hard, fast and furious.  Amazing how the mind works.

When your body stops wanting to fight the pain but join with it, and your mind accepts this fact that is when i believe you enter subspace.  Even if your acceptance is after the infliction of pain ceases.  LA and the others are right.... it can happen anywhere or any place during a scene and yes even without pain but rather intense pleasure.  It is very difficult for me to disassociate during extreme pleasure...but it has happened from time to time.

Does anybody else pass through colors during subspace? the deepest color i have ever gone to was like a dark blue/purple consequently the longest coming back as well.  And no... i don't think i will ever try beyond that. 

don't know if i have hurt or helped but it is just my experience.

edited to add*



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: What keeps someone out of sub-space? (4/24/2006 10:29:50 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: OTKkindaGirl
Does anybody else pass through colors during subspace? the deepest color i have ever gone to was like a dark blue/purple consequently the longest coming back as well.  And no... i don't think i will ever try beyond that. 

Not during subspace that I can recall, but often in other states of consciousness.

In my thoughts of this over the weekend and trying to mentally catalogue all the different experiences of subspace that I have (because there are very many varieties of how subspace is experienced by people) and a lot of times for me it's like being a black shiny marble slowly bouncing around a big dark cave.

don't know if i have hurt or helped but it is just my experience.

edited to add*



OTKkindaGirl -> RE: What keeps someone out of sub-space? (4/24/2006 10:37:52 AM)

Thank you very much LA... yes, there are many states and levels of subspace....glad it isn't just me. 



pgqosk -> RE: What keeps someone out of sub-space? (4/24/2006 10:39:45 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tikkiee

quote:

ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub

And how exactly does one embrace the pain, other than trying to relax and do the breathing thing?

Much the same way you embrace an orgasm as it washes over you.


I think this is where my submissive wife jill would agree. she has told me several times that she needs to relax and go limp as the acts inflicting the pain continue. she mentions that when I mention something like "Shh... enjoy little one... there isn't any pain here... only pleasure" that is helps her to really start to let go of the tension she has naturally to the pain... and really start to feel that in fact, there is no pain... just pleasure. she says it does feel like it is washing over her much like an orgasm does.

However, we are talking sensual pain, and not a beating for pain's sake. I know her limit of pain from working with her in open communication and buildup from early on in our relationship. I do my best to near those limits when I sense she is relaxing into the pain and rally enjoying it. My goal being not forcing things too far to need a safe word... and letting her just ride the pleasure of the pain.

Steven--



BitaTruble -> RE: What keeps someone out of sub-space? (4/24/2006 12:00:48 PM)

mmmm.. the point where the pain is no longer a sensation at all merely a fact that it was the vehicle which took you from point A to point B and has been temporarily suspended... when the body stops reacting to its surroundings and absorbs only some far away impact touched on by a consciousness which is exploring all there is and aware of the impact on some non-corporeal level but, like a child who is easily distracted, off again in a wink to some other bright and shiny which attracts its attention.. you know off in the distance where you reside, the blows are coming harder and more often .. you are swirling in such a vast space.. and yes, a vast colorful space .. I do love it.  Himself doesn't stop paining me when I reach subspace, it just stops being pain and he fly's with me getting that giddy energy that continues to drive him as well so that neither of us want it to end.  I don't, necessarily need to let go in order to get there.. it happens when it happens and when it doesn't, it doesn't and I go some place different.. more like horndog heaven where, gawds, I want to be fucked so bad that I think I'll die if it doesn't happen. Of course, I don't, I just want to.  I think that's when Himself feels the most powerful, when he can leave me a sniveling, begging mass of flesh and laugh at me when he denies my begging. Bastard. ::chuckles::  OK, that didn't help, but I'm smiling right now so it was worth writing. lol Celeste



MistWalker -> RE: What keeps someone out of sub-space? (4/24/2006 12:30:00 PM)

for me it has never been fighitng the pain, i loved that. for me it was fighting myself, trying to keep the last thred of contorel that i still had in letting the defenses down and droping... it took me a while to open up to that. letting it all go and trust that i would be cared for when i let go.  ive had that period of time with any i was with, for a while, i just couldnt let go. i had to keep myself in controle of at least some  little part. to me it was the ultimit place of vunerability that i couldnt let myself fall into untill i  was completly comfortable.. all in my head basicly stopping me from reaching subspace till i cleared it up. 



heartfeltsub -> RE: What keeps someone out of sub-space? (4/24/2006 12:50:22 PM)

Thank you all for your answers and your help. i will continue to work on relaxing through the pain, i know for me, i gain strength to deal with the pain by touching the Dom's hand or feeling His hand on me, it calms me, helps me to gather my strength to calm myself. (if that makes any sense).



VvShadowspawnvV -> RE: What keeps someone out of sub-space? (4/24/2006 12:58:13 PM)

quote:

Keep in mind, while some people get off on pain, others do not. Various avenues might contribute to leading someone into subspace, and those avenues may differ, depending on the person.


What ownedgirlie said- and i'll add that, for me, sometimes it is pain- sometimes it is long, drawn out pleasure... sometimes both. The whole "subspace" thing is new to me- actually, i am thinking it isn't brought on so much by the pain OR the pleasure, as it is brought on by my state of mind. =) *states the obvious*

As far as "embracing the pain" goes: sometimes i DO enjoy the actual PAIN- sometimes i enjoy the fact that He may cause me pain if He wishes- whether i enjoy the pain or not. =)

becca



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