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Twoshoes -> :) (9/27/2010 7:54:50 PM)
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Your profile was an intriguing read. Your sincerity inspires me.
If you included Borderline Personality Disorder in seriousness:
quote:
The disorder typically involves unusual levels of instability in mood; black and white thinking, or splitting; the disorder often manifests itself in idealization and devaluation episodes, as well as chaotic and unstable interpersonal relationships, self-image, identity, and behavior; as well as a disturbance in the individual's sense of self. In extreme cases, this disturbance in the sense of self can lead to periods of dissociation.
BPD splitting includes a switch between idealizing and demonizing others.
A possible explanation for the waves of resentment and stark lights drawing you elsewhere? Not that I'd wish to defend the Domina you mention, but your projection of her to every other Dominant woman has more influence than an uninspirational person shall ever wield. Could she have ordered you to no longer be submissive? [;)]
quote:
So hear me out: I will never submit to anyone ever again. In no way shape or form. My compassion and generosity have been terribly eroded and I will live my life gaining leverage over everything.
Ironically, compassion and generosity are two excellent ways to influence people. People will willingly die for ideals and not for anything less. Power out of fear only lasts until you turn your back. Many a Diplomacy game have I lost to fearful allies. Many have I won by attempting to lose. [;)]
Granted, most of us can only inspire a tiny amount of love, respect, trust or even "this guy isn't too bad after a few drinks", but it'll go further and more naturally than "leverage" over weakness or desperation - emotional, monetary or physical.
Respect and trust is often what works for leaders. However, it's the love that's to die for.
Not necessarily cuddly snuggle-bunny love. It could be the kind that IronBear refers to when he talks of the men under his command.
I'll offer the following words:
Actions taken out of hurt result in a furtherance of our and others' misery.
Those taken out of hope lead down unforeseen paths of contentment.
Now, you noted your desire to be Dominant in months past.
But do not dare use this as an escape from your reality lest your experience will be muddled by the underlying current of unhappiness you'd be desperately trying to disregard.
(Feels like a Zevar-like, "Aye!" would be appropriate here.)
quote:
ORIGINAL: porcelaine's sig.
The most benevolent gift we can give is to become the embodiment of our truth rather than its keynote speaker.
Sadly, in this case, I cannot give you more than my half-empty words, because I do not even remotely measure up to my peddled wisdom. Luckily, dreams don't have expectations. [;)]
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