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RE: Insane stalker! - 9/28/2010 3:00:58 PM   
MstrTiger


Posts: 417
Joined: 1/14/2006
From: UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hertz

quote:

There is a system where you can block people from messaging you if they do not fit a prescribed criteria it would be nice if that had a option which includes profiles that have been made less than 2 weeks ago.


This sounds like a reasonable idea.



thanks for saying so :)

(in reply to hertz)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Insane stalker! - 9/28/2010 3:01:49 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		OK, how about this........

could you get a sane stalker?

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


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Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Insane stalker! - 9/28/2010 3:03:38 PM   
MstrTiger


Posts: 417
Joined: 1/14/2006
From: UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

OK, how about this........

could you get a sane stalker?


That would be an improvement :) do you know any?

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Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Insane stalker! - 9/28/2010 3:05:21 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		no, but if you read the feeds this has been scrolling by all day, maybe you could come up with a better plan for blockage filters and see if it flys:

http://www.collarme.com/bdsm/suggestions.htm

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to MstrTiger)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Insane stalker! - 9/28/2010 3:09:00 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Anyone that is able to create forty profiles, can figure out how to get around a two week system. What then, go to a month, two months? Why do all that when they can get around it and we are supposed to be adults who can handle our own email accounts/profiles and block features? I have had some of my most fun with people with new accounts. I don't filter anyone and I am female... we tend to get more email. You roll your eyes, laugh, block, whatever and move on.

Geez what would you do with the amount of stalker types we women get? Married men trying for a little on the side, the spammers, the forever changing profiles that think we forget and hit us up again... it is endless. You just deal. I find it rather funny that they think we are stupid and forget the guy in a pink and white, frilly fem cow suit that wants to be milked. No big deal.


_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to MstrTiger)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Insane stalker! - 9/28/2010 3:19:33 PM   
MstrTiger


Posts: 417
Joined: 1/14/2006
From: UK
Status: offline 		 I am not suggesting for one second that my 2 week suggestion is in anyway a totally flawless way of stopping all stalkers from going about their business though I do think it would be a useful tool for a lot of people and it would at least be a barrier where currently none exists.

I know it will not stop committed and utterly insane people though I do think it would be a step in the right direction to give people the option of using such a system so at least that they feel they have some sort of recourse if they are being stalked in the same way that I am.

I would also think that it would stop lots ladies being messaged from sad horny men who have just quickly made a profile while their wife’s are out shopping just so they can look around and send women messages containing pointless vulgarities etc.

I am also not suggesting it is a blanket thing it will be totally optional, you can continue to have fun with people who have just made new accounts whereas people who feel they need to use the 2 week option on the filter with to weed out insane people will have that option available to them with no obvious detriment to you whatsoever.


< Message edited by MstrTiger -- 9/28/2010 3:23:25 PM >

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Insane stalker! - 9/28/2010 3:23:23 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		So, you ask for advice, you got advice.

There is a saying: "Take what you like and leave the rest."

Instead of doing that, you did get pissy when you didn't like it and in my opinion over-reacted...twice.

It seems a reasonable assumption to make that you may have a pattern of doing this and that is likely what fueled Mr. insane-stalker to begin with.

Of course, like your assumptions in regards to Lockit's responses, I am probably wholly off base.

Seriously?

You got some very good advice, from a variety of posters. If something didn't tickle your fancy, why expend energy on it? Why not instead, look for pro-active solutions instead of focusing on negatives.

Someone doesn't like you, or likes you too much; it is merely an inconvenient nuisance unless that person knows your full name or has other personal information.
If it crosses the line into threats, then that is another matter.

Perspective and a sense of humor are assets in this peculiar on-line world of paradoxical distance and intimacy.

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to MstrTiger)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Insane stalker! - 9/28/2010 3:32:02 PM   
MstrTiger


Posts: 417
Joined: 1/14/2006
From: UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

So, you ask for advice, you got advice.

There is a saying: "Take what you like and leave the rest."

Instead of doing that, you did get pissy when you didn't like it and in my opinion over-reacted...twice.

It seems a reasonable assumption to make that you may have a pattern of doing this and that is likely what fueled Mr. insane-stalker to begin with.

Of course, like your assumptions in regards to Lockit's responses, I am probably wholly off base.

Seriously?

You got some very good advice, from a variety of posters. If something didn't tickle your fancy, why expend energy on it? Why not instead, look for pro-active solutions instead of focusing on negatives.

Someone doesn't like you, or likes you too much; it is merely an inconvenient nuisance unless that person knows your full name or has other personal information.
If it crosses the line into threats, then that is another matter.

Perspective and a sense of humor are assets in this peculiar on-line world of paradoxical distance and intimacy.



My sense of humour is clearly utterly beyond your comprehension, though thanks for trying.

(in reply to angelikaJ)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Insane stalker! - 9/28/2010 3:37:35 PM   
bellesoumise


Posts: 258
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		How hard is it to ignore a message? To delete it and move on with life? Is this message so traumatizing that it's effecting your day to day life? Is it that big of a deal? Delete, block, put your profile on hide whatever it is, just do it and get over it.

(in reply to MstrTiger)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Insane stalker! - 9/28/2010 3:39:20 PM   
hertz


Posts: 1315
Joined: 8/7/2010
Status: offline
quote:

Why do all that when they can get around it and we are supposed to be adults who can handle our own email accounts/profiles and block features?


Choice. It's about giving users of the site some additional tools to help them manage their relationships here. You wouldn't have to use it.

(in reply to MstrTiger)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Insane stalker! - 9/28/2010 3:40:07 PM   
PeanutTigerinBox


Posts: 1624
Status: offline 		I don't quite understand why that is an issue when by now (at least over here and I am guessing it is the same in your area) you can already have a sneak into the text before even opening the email itself....so you have no reason to open it in the first place and can just delete it.

I had such a tosser 2 years ago who enjoyed to throw his insult at me and I deleted him unread. Now it seems he found me again with my new profile (which btw has nothing to do with him, I had already forgotten about him when I changed it) and started, the first email was from a hidden profile from him and so were the other 7 or 9 emails. As their names had a similar style to the first one and - of course - were hidden as well, I know it was him again. After he realised I won't open it and his efforts are not going anywhere he stopped. Life is too short to take crap from such people. If by now he ever comes back its even easier to delete him as I don't need to double check anymore if it is again from a hidden profile or not with the ability to see into the text before actually opening it.

_____________________________

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aka Phoenixpower

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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Insane stalker! - 9/28/2010 3:41:30 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrTiger

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

So, you ask for advice, you got advice.





My sense of humour is clearly utterly beyond your comprehension, though thanks for trying.



Perhaps the person responded the way they did because you tend towards trollish behavior.

Ooooooh shiny, the hide button!
*click*

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to MstrTiger)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Insane stalker! - 9/28/2010 3:46:30 PM   
MstrTiger


Posts: 417
Joined: 1/14/2006
From: UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ


quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrTiger

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

So, you ask for advice, you got advice.





My sense of humour is clearly utterly beyond your comprehension, though thanks for trying.



Perhaps the person responded the way they did because you tend towards trollish behavior.

Ooooooh shiny, the hide button!
*click*



You really do have absolutely no grasp of irony whatsoever do you?

(in reply to angelikaJ)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Insane stalker! - 9/28/2010 3:46:31 PM   
hertz


Posts: 1315
Joined: 8/7/2010
Status: offline
quote:

I don't quite understand why that is an issue when by now (at least over here and I am guessing it is the same in your area) you can already have a sneak into the text before even opening the email itself....so you have no reason to open it in the first place and can just delete it.


I must remember to use this...

(in reply to angelikaJ)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Insane stalker! - 9/28/2010 4:13:53 PM   
tiggerspoohbear


Posts: 19141
Joined: 6/27/2010
Status: offline 		You've been given the advice already so I'll repeat it

a) either block and delete

b) hide your profile for awhile

c) make a new profile with a few changes that won't identify you and don't include a picture.

It's really quite easy. Those are the choices you have available, so use one of the three or b) and c) at the same time. The more you complain and whine, especially if he's following your posts here, the more profiles he's going to create because he knows you're bothered by it.

Bejeeeeeeeeeezus, this isn't rocket science.

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"I'm a baaa-aaad pussycat".


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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Insane stalker! - 9/28/2010 4:17:15 PM   
NeedToUseYou


Posts: 2297
Joined: 12/24/2005
From: None of your business
Status: offline 		As far as I know I'm the only insane stalker up here, so your either lying, or the victim of a fake or possibly a sane variety of stalker.

I will add you to my list so you can have the real stalker experience.


< Message edited by NeedToUseYou -- 9/28/2010 4:18:07 PM >

(in reply to MstrTiger)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Insane stalker! - 9/28/2010 4:43:23 PM   
Zevar


Posts: 801
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrTiger

An insane person has messaged me constantly from around 40 or so different profiles, every time I block him he makes a new profile, I have messaged admin though apparently there is very little they can do about it, does anyone have any suggestions on how to go about dealing with this problem?


I recognize that some folks just seem to stalk others online. Some people do it in the form of a guise of input & comments within the Message Boards. Some do it in form of serial sexual encounters that never were going to have a shred of sincerity at all to them. Some of them do it in the form of a myriad of ways. Some are seriously suffering from various forms of whatever it is that they need to faithfully ingest their medications and refuse to even though professionals, like myself, warn them of the side effect if they decide to disregard the professional prescribed help offered.

Some people harm others for a sort of sport and do it for fun and consider to be powerful to harm others and then get some demented sense of thrill out of harming others. Some people genuinely suffer from untreated mental health issues on a much larger level than most people know. I see this in my professional work daily with those who are in dire need of prescribed mental help.

Corporations hire people everyday who are suffering from psychopathic & sociopathic behavior. It is far more common than most would even consider. One key to taking your life back, when one of these very mentally confused people think they have some form of control over your life, is to disengage by way of distancing yourself from them. Ignore their comments. Do not answer their mail. Refuse to give them attention. This is usually what they are emotionally starved for, attention.

Simply say no to their inappropriate conduct AND never ever feel any shame for telling them no. A word that holds great power when utilized is no. I encourage you, simply detach from this mental game that is being played by this individual who clearly sounds like professional mental help is the key for them.

For yourself though, regain your power. Ignore them. Let farewell mean what it implies. Proceed to live your Life fully without even considering this lost soul who has nothing better to do with their life than to play demented mind games with others that they consider a pawn in their life to play with. Ignore their misguided emails and comments. Choose to disengage the cords that bind their confused minds. Let it be; Checkmate! You lose, loser! Farewell!

Take good care!

< Message edited by Zevar -- 9/28/2010 4:46:18 PM >

(in reply to MstrTiger)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Insane stalker! - 9/28/2010 6:31:54 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		why not just shut down your mail? 

(in reply to Zevar)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Insane stalker! - 9/28/2010 6:48:29 PM   
daintydimples


Posts: 967
Joined: 7/6/2009
Status: offline 		The point here is that the OP is allowing the stalker to have power over him.

Stop that.

Block, delete, say to yourself "I can't let this bother me, if gives my stalker power."

Rinse and repeat til you believe that. The stalker might still send you messages a year from now, but you won't care.


_____________________________

Some soften by the forced reflection that comes from loss; others harden. Which are you?




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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Insane stalker! - 9/28/2010 8:51:23 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I do not know if you are aware of this new dandy thing we can do with our mail... if you hover over the sender's name you can see the beginning of their email. You do not have to even open the email, all you have to do is hover your cursor over it and you can read the first paragraph. If it is your stalker you can delete the message without even opening it. When the sender checks to see if you opened the email it will read "deleted unread" in their "sent" folder. This is a dreamy anti-stalker device. They do not know if you read the email. Don't block block stalkers, either. This only encourages them to act even weirder. The best policy is to behave like they do not exist.

Now, unfortunately, your stalker can read your forum posts on this name... they know they got under your skin... what a shame, because that is the LAST thing you want them to know, it only encourages them further. I would recommend getting a new profile and if your stalker finds you, follow the advice of deleting the messages, not blocking the sender, and ignoring them.... they get bored when they get ignored.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to MstrTiger)
Profile   Post #: 40
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