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Rochsub2009 -> RE: Beginner "Domme" looking for advice (10/3/2010 4:37:02 PM)
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GlowingEye,
The things that you mentioned seem to be more bondage oriented. That is a fairly mild kink, and many vanilla couples eventually explore bondage of some type. The anal play aspect tells me that he may be willing to go farther than merely tying his hands and legs to the bedposts.
My personal kink is D/s (domination and submission). I am a male submissive. So most of the things that I would recommend have their roots in power exchange. You may want to experiment with power exchange dynamics to see if he enjoys it. Specifically, I am going to make some suggestions of Femdom (Female domination) activities that you might try.
The most basic form of Female domination is probably where you take control in the bedroom and make him your "sex slave". You will dictate when, where, and how the two of you have sex. If he tries to initiate sex, remind him that YOU are in charge, and that only YOU get to initiate sex. Then, when you are ready for sex, use him as your sex toy. Make him do all the things that you like. From foreplay to the aftercare, You will direct all of the action. For example, if he usually doesn't give you oral sex for quite as long as you want him to, then this is your opportunity to make him keep licking until you've had all the orgasms that you desire. It will be empowering for you, and educational for him. He may be surprised to find that when you are TOTALLY in charge, the act of love making looks very different from the way he normally orchestrates the event.
If he enjoys the power exchange, then you may want to experiment with taking it further and expanding the power exchange outside of the bedroom. Have a day when he becomes your slave outside of the bedroom as well as inside the bedroom. So in addition to leading sex, you would also give him commands outside of the bedroom. For example, make him kiss and massage your feet after a hard day at work. Then make him run you a bath. When you take the bath, make him wash you and dry you. Then make him lotion your body. Once you are all lotioned up, make him give you a massage. Then transition that into sex (which you of course lead). It is important that you end it all with sex. Initially, you want to make this very sexy for him. If you keep it sexy, he should remain interested.
After you've established that he is interested in sexual domination, start adding non-sexual activities. Make him cook you dinner or take you to the restaurant of your choice. Gradually add other chores, like doing the dishes or chauffeuring you to places that you might otherwise drive yourself.
If you find that he enjoys these games, you can then decide how far you want to take it. If you both really enjoy it, then the two of you may decide to add more and more female domination into your relationship. Heck, you may eventually end up in a female-led relationship where you are the boss and he obeys you 24/7. How would you like that?
Hope this helps.
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