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At Least One - 10/2/2010 5:26:14 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		After some consideration, I'm going to leave the rant that inspired this thread out of the original.  For now.

Instead, I'll just pose a simple question and a follow up.

Have you read at least one non-fiction book related to BDSM and/or power dynamics?

If yes, what was your favorite?

If not, why not?


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Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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RE: At Least One - 10/2/2010 5:31:58 PM   
nancygirl34652


Posts: 291
Joined: 3/10/2010
Status: offline 		the only non-fiction BDSM book i have read is A Different Loving.....i first purchased it about 10 years ago when i was very new to the lifestyle. At that time, i think i was just basically sitting there with my eyes popping out of my head saying...wow....lol....of course, a lot in there is not what i am interested in but it was very good learning about others desires/fetishes, etc. i still have it and i read it from time to time....i find sometimes that things that made me blush and gasp 10 years ago are now incorporated into my life or are now things that i sometimes wish to try.

Hope that answers Your question well enough, LadyPact, Ma'am!

(in reply to LadyPact)
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RE: At Least One - 10/2/2010 5:32:55 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		Nope.
I also don't read relationship type books either ie. Men are from mars...
I may look up tech stuff online, such as pressure points affected by bondage and such.
My relationship with him is not scripted so I don't see how a book on power dynamics would do anything except interfere with the natural course that our relationship is supposed to take...the natural ebb and flow.

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RE: At Least One - 10/2/2010 5:35:01 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I read them all I think when I was much younger.

I found no usefulness in them to be honest and gave them all away.


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RE: At Least One - 10/2/2010 5:39:31 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		I own Lee Harrington's Shibari You Can Use, and I've used it.

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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

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RE: At Least One - 10/2/2010 5:45:37 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I read part of one years ago, can't remember the title, subsequently passed it on to a member of this site.

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RE: At Least One - 10/2/2010 5:52:55 PM   
BoredAsHell


Posts: 86
Joined: 4/21/2010
Status: offline 		i prefer to learn from people, learning by example and practice. books can be interesting and informative, but three dimensional instruction works much better for me. the hands on approach is always more memorable!

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RE: At Least One - 10/2/2010 6:07:13 PM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline 		i havent either - i think because ive always assumed they were a sort of 'how to' book and one persons idea on how to do something isnt always someone elses.  but also i like to find my own way with things, in the same way that ive never read books on paganism, witchcraft or rituals - i want to learn my craft as a sub and as a pagan in my own way and through that its completely my expression, un-coloured by anything i might have read.

but then i rarely follow recipes either - 

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So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

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RE: At Least One - 10/2/2010 6:17:18 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		I have and haven't kept track of which ones.  I find they answer some of the basics and gives a springboard of ideas, background, and some amount of how that is useful especially when starting out.  I did this sort of thing prior to ever running into CM or looking to pursue a dynamic with anyone.  I'd like to read them again now with the benefit of experiences I have had.  It would be interesting to see how I view the contents.  Doing a bit of reading and research in any endeavor new or not is always beneficial. 

lovingpet


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RE: At Least One - 10/2/2010 6:24:19 PM   
xXsoumisXx


Posts: 339
Joined: 7/26/2009
From: USA
Status: offline 		I've read quite a few, 10 maybe? only a few were really good.
Some were too fluffy, some were too much, emotionally, for me to finish.

(in reply to LadyPact)
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RE: At Least One - 10/2/2010 6:24:52 PM   
Kaliko


Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline 		I've read Different Loving as well. I actually found it kind of dry reading. I'm not even sure I finished it. By the time I got around to reading it, I had already been through being shocked at things, so I guess the impact was not hard on me.


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RE: At Least One - 10/2/2010 6:38:13 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		I've read many, from Wiseman on down. None really stuck, and frankly, other than Midori's bondage books (which I see as instructional) I thought most of them were just blather.

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RE: At Least One - 10/2/2010 7:00:02 PM   
SlaveBlutarsky


Posts: 491
Joined: 10/10/2005
From: Upstate, NY
Status: offline 		I bought Different Loving the week it came out and have read a few other non fiction books about the lifestyle. I was (and to a certain extent still am) conflicted about how this sits with me.

Now I'm with a professionally trained sex therapist, so we've got two bookcases of human sexuality books.


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RE: At Least One - 10/2/2010 7:12:01 PM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline 		I've read portions of several, but I doubt I've read any of them from cover to cover. I did start reading The Ethical Slut, and wanted to finish it, but the book was borrowed and I never got it back. I've read most or part of SM101, Topping Book, Bottoming Book -to name a few- all browsed off and on when something in particular interested me.

I do believe that I learned more from watching and participating at munches, parties, events and conferences; but the books were a nice reference aid.

WinD

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RE: At Least One - 10/2/2010 7:12:51 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		Yes.

I didn't have a "favorite". I found the titles to be truth in advertising... all about sexual dominance and submission.

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I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

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RE: At Least One - 10/2/2010 7:23:20 PM   
xXsoumisXx


Posts: 339
Joined: 7/26/2009
From: USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

Yes.

I didn't have a "favorite". I found the titles to be truth in advertising... all about sexual dominance and submission.


"Slavecraft" by Guy Baldwin,
Touched me, the way he spoke of his thought processes, and what he went through in his mind, to be thinking the right slave thoughts, as he did simple daily tasks...to me, didn't have a lot to do with sex.
The book made me feel like i'd never reach that level of slavery.
It left me feeling a little sad actually..

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RE: At Least One - 10/2/2010 7:54:12 PM   
Kreevillicious


Posts: 52
Joined: 7/4/2006
From: Life is Good
Status: offline 		We are both avid readers and have technical books regarding bullwhips, leather, and ropes. In addition, we have books on the lifestyle, protocol, etc. Miss Abernathy's Concise Slave Training Manual was a memorable book that was very well written. I think of her as the Miss Manners of BDSM.

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RE: At Least One - 10/2/2010 8:12:49 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5171
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		I've read several non-fiction books related to BDSM.  The first one that stands out is the "Screw the Roses...." one because it had a sense of humor.  The other is A Different Loving, mostly because the interviews were done using people who used CompuServe's Adult Sexuality forum.  I didn't join that forum until after the book was written, however, at one time the CS forums were THE place for BDSMers to get good information.  CS  forums were a bit different from yahoo or AOL chat rooms.  Each forum with its attached chat rooms were privately owned.  The Adult Sexuality forum was owned by a husband and wife sex research team.  I can't remember their last name but their first names were Howard and Martha.  Howard tried to start a web site after CS closed their forums and chat rooms but I don't think it ever really got going.  If there is any chance that Howard did get his web site up and someone knows where, please let me know. 

Anyway, to further answer the question, when I first learned about BDSM I was not in the position to do anything about it.  I did read everything I could get my hands on.  I spent months reading every bit of material I could find online then went to books.  It was a wonderful time for me.  It kept me from making mistakes due to sub frenzy.  By the time I actually went to my first munch I didn't feel like the newbie I was as I'd had years of reading. 

(in reply to LadyPact)
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RE: At Least One - 10/2/2010 8:22:58 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline 		~Fast Reply~
Yes, I read about 3 of them, haven't gotten around to anymore. I took what they said and used them as a starting point to create my own views.

< Message edited by catize -- 10/2/2010 8:23:35 PM >

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"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
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RE: At Least One - 10/2/2010 8:53:58 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		I have owned 3.  Different Loving, Screw the Roses, and SM101.  I started to read Different Loving but ended up giving it to a friend who wanted it but was too shy to buy it.  I read Screw the Roses, loaned it out to someone and never got it back.  And I bought SM101 last year at a community event where Jay Wiseman was the host.  I have yet to crack the cover.

(in reply to LadyPact)
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