Adtoption for the lost and confused. (Full Version)

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LastThoughts -> Adtoption for the lost and confused. (10/6/2010 11:48:35 AM)

I’m on my way back from a lunch meeting when I catch a short interview on NPR regarding this poor women, over her head, trying to adopt a Nepalese infant in Napal.

It has been a long time since I heard such a pathetic  excuse for a self centered, self absorbed, middle aged woman desperate for her own self serving cravings for importance I near called in.  Yes, I am adopted and was raised by my parents just like every other child that was lucky to have parents in this country.

There are currently over 400,000 children in foster care or born with intent to be released into adoption programs with only 57,000 having been adopted last year.

She claimed it was hard being a single woman looking for a child to adopt in this country.  Shouldn’t it F^%@#@ be?  Taking on a child with two people is hard enough, let alone knowingly soloing it;  knowing that guys will come in and out of that child’s life for most of his younger years.

Aww, poor little middle aged woman.  Suck it up cunt and act like an adult instead of an overweight child (with a great job) who cries about her missing dolly each evening.  If you can afford to spend two months in a foreign country without a job and are really concerned for children, go volunteer at an orphanage.  THEY NEED YOUR HELP.  Your care.  Your presence as an impacting adult that is looking to move towards their world, not away from it.

So it may take you a year or two to show that you are a stable world to place a new soul in custody of.  GET OVER IT.

Some women aren’t worth the spit it would take to lick my boots clean. . . Angela Jolie, feel free to pay attention in class.

Have some pride in the youth of this country.

_LT

Decided to open this on up to the public instead of my blog, however I don’t intend on responding to posts.



BoredAsHell -> RE: Adtoption for the lost and confused. (10/6/2010 1:56:00 PM)

i adopted three "special needs" sons, they were babies at the time. i got them from the county i lived in, never even considered foreign adoption. i found it offensive to go outside the country with so many children here who needed homes. if i could adopt another one i would, the problem has gotten worse over the last decfade since my last child was adopted. my children are not the same racial makeup as my biological son and i, but that doesn't matter to me, i love them as much as if they'd been my flesh and blood. many years ago a friend of mine who was adopted found this poem on a plaque and gave it to me and i've loved it ever since. the author is unknown, but whoever it was sure got it right!

not flesh of my flesh
or bone of my bone
but still miraculously
my own
never forget
for a single minute
you weren't born of my heart
but in it



Aylee -> RE: Adtoption for the lost and confused. (10/6/2010 3:01:20 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LastThoughts

It has been a long time since I heard such a pathetic  excuse for a self centered, self absorbed, middle aged woman desperate for her own self serving cravings for importance I near called in. 


Hmmm. . . has Octomom really been out of the news THAT long?



littlewonder -> RE: Adtoption for the lost and confused. (10/6/2010 5:08:35 PM)

so single women shouldn't be parents?

I'm sure many of us single mothers will be quite upset to hear this...not.



Aneirin -> RE: Adtoption for the lost and confused. (10/6/2010 5:13:22 PM)

Charity always should first and foremost begin at home, whilst there are loveless youngsters in your own country that need a home, looking overseas is an insult to your own nationality. But then if the adoption procedure in one's own country is draconic and largely unrealistic, what else is there when one's own country one is considered not good enough to bring up a child .

If vetting controlled the right to bear natural children, then it stands the same should be applied to orphans, but where there is no vetting of the natural, why is it so important with the motherless ?



DarkSteven -> RE: Adtoption for the lost and confused. (10/6/2010 5:19:06 PM)

OP, I was not lost and confused till I read your post...



angelikaJ -> RE: Adtoption for the lost and confused. (10/6/2010 5:34:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LastThoughts



There are currently over 400,000 children in foster care or born with intent to be released into adoption programs with only 57,000 having been adopted last year.




The statistics above suggest there are significant problems with the present adoption system, given the time, money and expense many people, both couples and individuals are willing to spend on foreign adoptions.

I don't see those people as necessarily ego-centric, nor impatient and immature.
I see them as frustrated with the bureaucracy.
The state agencies are vastly underfunded and understaffed which delays everything.
It is the inefficiencies and inadequacies within a system that has needed overhauling for a very long time that led to this... and that is not the fault of the prospective parents.



Aylee -> RE: Adtoption for the lost and confused. (10/6/2010 5:44:59 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

so single women shouldn't be parents?

I'm sure many of us single mothers will be quite upset to hear this...not.


Ummm. . . that is not what I meant. 

I do have a problem with a single female with 6 children on welfare recieving public assistance IVF to have 8 more children. 



BonesFromAsh -> RE: Adtoption for the lost and confused. (10/6/2010 5:47:12 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LastThoughts

I’m on my way back from a lunch meeting when I catch a short interview on NPR regarding this poor women, over her head, trying to adopt a Nepalese infant in Napal.



Do you mean this interview Adoptive Mom finds herself stuck in Nepal..........Chicago Tribune article ?

If so, she discusses her reasons for her choice, including her experience with agencies in the US.

I'm trying to understand what bothers you more, OP....the fact that an American woman chose to adopt outside the US or the fact that she's single.



littlewonder -> RE: Adtoption for the lost and confused. (10/6/2010 5:54:58 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Aylee

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

so single women shouldn't be parents?

I'm sure many of us single mothers will be quite upset to hear this...not.


Ummm. . . that is not what I meant. 

I do have a problem with a single female with 6 children on welfare recieving public assistance IVF to have 8 more children. 


Sorry Aylee. That wasn't directed at you but at the op. I understood your point clearly and completely agree with it.

I just find it strange that the op possibly believes that single women shouldn't be mothers.



angelikaJ -> RE: Adtoption for the lost and confused. (10/6/2010 6:20:19 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: BonesFromAsh


quote:

ORIGINAL: LastThoughts

I’m on my way back from a lunch meeting when I catch a short interview on NPR regarding this poor women, over her head, trying to adopt a Nepalese infant in Napal.



Do you mean this interview Adoptive Mom finds herself stuck in Nepal..........Chicago Tribune article ?

If so, she discusses her reasons for her choice, including her experience with agencies in the US.

I'm trying to understand what bothers you more, OP....the fact that an American woman chose to adopt outside the US or the fact that she's single.


I anticipated hearing a very different story from what the OP potrayed.

I have no way to know what tinted his perception, but my take on it was very different from his.



BonesFromAsh -> RE: Adtoption for the lost and confused. (10/6/2010 6:36:28 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

I anticipated hearing a very different story from what the OP potrayed.

I have no way to know what tinted his perception, but my take on it was very different from his.


I agree. I was surprised when I found the recorded interview...but only slightly.

My opinion, if you're going to rant about something you've read or an interview you've heard, why not offer a link so that others can form their own opinions.

No worries...it was easy enough to find.[;)]



Aylee -> RE: Adtoption for the lost and confused. (10/6/2010 6:43:59 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder


quote:

ORIGINAL: Aylee

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

so single women shouldn't be parents?

I'm sure many of us single mothers will be quite upset to hear this...not.


Ummm. . . that is not what I meant. 

I do have a problem with a single female with 6 children on welfare receiving public assistance IVF to have 8 more children. 


Sorry Aylee. That wasn't directed at you but at the op. I understood your point clearly and completely agree with it.

I just find it strange that the op possibly believes that single women shouldn't be mothers.



No worries, I commented on Octomom originally because I had taken the comment "poor woman" to refer to being impoverished. 

Now, it is true that studies and statistics have shown that a "traditional" two-parent family is the best environment for raising children, however that does not make it magically so for every family.  I also put traditional in quotes because it has not really been that much of a tradition looking at all of history. 

The latest study that I have heard about discussed the idea/factoid that young girls without a consistent male parent figure in the house tend to start their menstrual cycle earlier compared to peers with a consistent male parent figure in the house. 

So, yes, I am in favor of marriage before children.  That being said, I certainly do not demonize or condemn those who have chosen differently. 



Twoshoes -> RE: Adtoption for the lost and confused. (10/6/2010 6:45:06 PM)

My question is can single men adopt?



Aylee -> RE: Adtoption for the lost and confused. (10/6/2010 6:50:52 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Twoshoes

My question is can single men adopt?


Ya know, I think that it may depend on the state.  Or if it is an over-seas country, then it would depend on the country.  Those things usually follow local laws. 

Off the top of my head I do not think that the Catholic Church allows it, but their rules may have changed from several years ago.



DesFIP -> RE: Adtoption for the lost and confused. (10/6/2010 7:20:20 PM)

Yes but it's also just as draconian. My cousin and his partner, two gay men, adopted a child in Louisiana over four years ago. But the Louisiana court will not give them a birth certificate with the child's new last name on it. To travel from Los Angeles where he now lives to NY to visit his parents involves a ream of documents to prove they haven't stolen the child. Forget about a passport, and taking the child to Israel to meet his cousins, that's not anywhere in the near future. Nor is a trip to Mexico to a resort for vacation when he's older. They have a lawsuit pending against Louisiana but in a year it hasn't gotten any farther along. The state is attempting to prevent them with bureaucratic holdups at every step. They would much prefer this child still be in foster care then with two loving parents. Simply because both parents are male. Louisiana is happy enough to have the cost of this child's future off their hands, but heaven forbid they actually admit it and sign the documents.



Aylee -> RE: Adtoption for the lost and confused. (10/6/2010 7:31:23 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Yes but it's also just as draconian. My cousin and his partner, two gay men, adopted a child in Louisiana over four years ago. But the Louisiana court will not give them a birth certificate with the child's new last name on it. To travel from Los Angeles where he now lives to NY to visit his parents involves a ream of documents to prove they haven't stolen the child. Forget about a passport, and taking the child to Israel to meet his cousins, that's not anywhere in the near future. Nor is a trip to Mexico to a resort for vacation when he's older. They have a lawsuit pending against Louisiana but in a year it hasn't gotten any farther along. The state is attempting to prevent them with bureaucratic holdups at every step. They would much prefer this child still be in foster care then with two loving parents. Simply because both parents are male. Louisiana is happy enough to have the cost of this child's future off their hands, but heaven forbid they actually admit it and sign the documents.


Yep.  Time to start shooting the politicians. 

That kind of thing just irritates me.  It is as though some people have forgotten what the POINT of adoption is.  Kind of makes you wonder if they have looked at any Roman history and the number of adoptions in the line of emperors. 



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